Wild Oats Part 19

_Sim._ He, he, he! you've now given my heart such a pleasure as I never felt, nor I'm sure feyther afore me.

_Banks._ But, Sim, whatever may be his opinion of worldly prudence, still remember he's your parent.

_Sim._ I will--"One elbow chair, one claw table." [_Exit, writing, and_ BANKS.

_Enter_ AMELIA.

_Amelia._ The confusion into which Lady Amaranth's family is thrown by the sudden departure, and apprehended danger of her young cousin, must have prevented her ladys.h.i.+p from giving that attention to our affairs, that I'm sure was her inclination. If I can but prevail on my brother too, to accept her protection--I can't enjoy the delights of her ladys.h.i.+p's hospitable mansion, and leave him here still subject to the insults of his churlish neighbour--Heavens! who's this? [_Retires._

_Enter_ ROVER _hastily, his hair and dress much disordered_.

_Rover._ What a race [_Panting._] I've at last got from the blood hounds! Ah, if old Abraw.a.n.g had but followed and backed me, we'd have tickled their catastrophes; but when they got me alone, three upon me were odds, so, safe's the word--who's house is this I've dash'd into?--Eh! the friendly cottage of my old gentleman! Are you at home?

[_Calls._] Gadso! I had a hard struggle for it; yes, murder was their intent, so it was well for me that I was born without brains, I'm quite weak, faint! [_Leans against the wall._]

_Amelia._ [_Advancing._] Sir, an't you well? [_With concern._]

_Rover._ Madam, I ask pardon,--hem, yes, ma'am, very well, I thank you--now exceeding well--got into a fray there, in a kind of a hobble with some worthy gentlemen; only simple, honest farmers. I fancy mistook me for a sheaf of barley, for they down with me, and then thresh'd so heartily, gad, their flails flew merrily about my ears, but I up, and when I could no longer fight like a mastiff, why, I--run like a greyhound--But, dear ma'am, pray excuse me. Egad, this is very rude, faith.

_Amelia._ You seem disturbed, [_With emotion._] will you take any refreshment?

_Rover._ Madam, you're very good.--Only a little of your currant wine, if you please; if I don't forget, it stands--just--[_Points_--AMELIA _brings some from a beaufet._] Madam, I've the honour of drinking your health. [_Drinks._]

_Amelia._ I hope you're not hurt, sir.

_Rover._ "A little better, but very weak still"--I had a sample of this before, and liked it so much, that, madam--"Won't you take another?"

_Amelia._ Sir!

_Rover._ Madam, if you'd been fighting, as I have, you'd--well, well, [_Fills and drinks._] now I'm as well as any man--"In Illyria," got a few hard knocks though.

_Amelia._ You'd better repose a little, you seem'd much disorder'd coming in.

_Rover._ [_Places a chair, and both sit._] Why, ma'am, you must know thus it was--

_Enter_ SHERIFF'S OFFICER.

_Off._ Come, ma'am, Mr. Gammon says this chair is wanted to make up the half dozen above. [_Lays hold of_ AMELIA'S _chair, she rises terrified_.]

_Rover._ What, what's all this?

_Off._ Why the furniture's seized on execution, and a man must do his duty.

_Rover._ Then, scoundrel, know, that a man's first duty is civility and tenderness to a woman.

_Amelia._ Heavens! where's my brother? This gentleman will bring himself into trouble.

_Off._ Master, d'ye see, I'm representative for his honour the High Sheriff.

_Rover._ Every High Sheriff should be a gentleman, and when he's represented by a rascal, he's dishonour'd.--Dem it, I might as well live about Covent Garden, and every night get beating the watch; for here, among groves and meadows, I'm always squabbling with constables.

[_Whips up a stick from a corner of the room, and holds it behind him._]

_Off._ Come, come, I must--

_Rover._ "As you say, sir, last Wednesday, so it was"--Sir, your most obedient, humble servant--[_Bows respectfully._] Pray, sir, may I take the liberty to know, have you ever been astonished? [_With great ceremony._]

_Off._ What?

_Rover._ Because, sir, I intend to astonish you; my dear fellow, give me your hand. [_Takes his hand, and beats him_--] Now, sir, you are astonished?

_Off._ Yes; but see if I don't suit you with an action.

_Rover._ "Right, suit the action to the word, the word to the action;"

"See if the gentlewoman be not affrighted"--"Michael, I'll make thee an example."

_Off._ Yes, fine example, when goods are seized here by the law, and--

_Rover._ "Thou worm and maggot of the law!" "Hop me over every kennel, or you shall hop without my custom."

_Off._ I don't value your custom.

_Rover._ You are astonished, now I'll amaze you.

_Off._ No, sir, I won't be amazed--but only see if I don't--

_Rover._ Hop!

[_Exit_ OFFICER _muttering and bullying, yet frightened_.

Stop, ma'am, these sort of gentry are monstrous bad company for a lady--So I'll just see him to the door, and then I'll see him outside the door.--Ma'am, I'm your most obedient humble servant. [_Bows respectfully, and exit hastily_.]

_Amelia._ I feel a strange curiosity to know who this young gentleman is. I find my heart interested, I can't account for--he must have known the house by the freedom--but then his gaiety, (without familiar rudeness) native elegance of manners, and good breeding, seem to make him at home any where.--My brother, I think, must know--

_Enter_ BANKS _hastily, and agitated_.

_Banks._ Amelia, did you see the young gentleman that was here? Some ruffian fellows, and a posse of the country people have bound and dragged him from the door, on the allegation of three men, who mean to swear he has robbed them; and they have taken him to Lady Amaranth's.

_Amelia._ How! He did enter here in confusion as if pursued; but I'll stake my life on his innocence. I'll speak to Lady Amaranth, and in spite of calumny, he shall have justice--he would not let me be insulted, because he saw me an unprotected woman, without a husband or a son, and shall he want an advocate? Brother, come. [_Exeunt._

SCENE IV.

LADY AMARANTH'S.

_Enter_ JANE, _with a light_.

_Jane._ I believe there's not a soul in the house but myself; my lady has sent all the folks round the country to search after the young 'squire, she'll certainly break her heart if any thing happens to him; I don't wonder, for surely he's a dear, sweet gentleman: the pity of it is, his going spoils all our fine play, and I had just got my part quite by heart; however, I must do the room up for Mr. Banks's sister, that my lady has invited here. [_Adjusts her toilet._