Wild Oats Part 2

_John._ Got leave to come to you: and master didn't find out before yesterday, that, instead of making for home, he had sheer'd off towards London; directly sent notice to you, and Sam has traced us all the way here to bring you the news.

_Sir Geo._ What, a boy of mine quit his guns? I'll grapple him.--Come, John.

_Lady Am._ Order the carriage for mine uncle.

_Sir Geo._ No, thank ye, my lady. Let your equipage keep up your own dignity. I have horses here; but I won't knock 'em up; next village is the channel for the stage--My lady, I'll bring the dog to you by the bowsprit.--Weigh anchor! crowd sail! and after him! [_Exit._

_Enter_ EPHRAIM. [_Peeping in._]

_Eph._ The man of noise doth not tarry, then my spirit is glad.

_Lady Am._ Let Sarah prepare chambers for my kinsman, and hire the maiden for me that thou didst mention.

_Eph._ I will; for this damsel is pa.s.sing fair, and hath found grace in mine eyes. Mary, as thou art yet a stranger in this land, and just taken possession of this estate, the laws of society command thee to be on terms of amity with thy wealthy neighbours.

_Lady Am._ Yea; but while I entertain the rich, the hearts of the poor shall also rejoice; I myself will now go forth into the adjacent hamlet, and invite all that cometh, to hearty cheer.

_Eph._ Yea, I will distribute among the poor good books.

_Lady Am._ And meat and drink too, friend Ephraim. In the fulness of plenty, they shall join in thanksgiving for those gifts of which I am so unworthy. [_Exeunt._

SCENE II.

_A Road._

_Enter_ HARRY THUNDER, _and_ MIDGE _follows, calling_.

_Midge._ I say, d.i.c.k Buskin! harkye, my lad!

_Harry._ What keeps Rover?

_Midge._ I'm sure I don't know. As you desired, I paid for our breakfast. But the devil's in that fellow; every inn we stop at, he will always hang behind, chattering to the bar-maid, or chambermaid.

_Harry._ Or any, or no maid. But he's a worthy lad; and I love him better, I think, than my own brother, had I one.

_Midge._ Oh! but, d.i.c.k, mind, my boy.

_Harry._ Stop, Midge. Though 'twas my orders, when I set out on this scamper with the players, (the better to conceal my quality,) for you, before people, to treat me as your companion; yet, at the same time, you should have had discretion enough to remember, when we're alone, that I am still your master, and son to Sir George Thunder.

_Midge._ Sir, I ask your pardon; but by making yourself my equal, I've got so used to familiarity, that I find it curst hard to shake it off.

_Harry._ Well, sir, pray mind, that familiarity is all over now. My frolic's out, I now throw off the player, and shall directly return.

My father must by this time, have heard of my departure from the academy at Portsmouth; and, though I was deluded away by my rage for a little acting, yet 'twas wrong of me to give the gay old fellow any cause of uneasiness.

_Midge._ And, sir, shall you and I never act another scene together?

Shall I never again play Colonel Standard for my own benefit? Never again have the pleasure of caning your honour in the character of Tom Errand.

_Harry._ In future, act the part of a smart hat and coat brusher; or I shall have the honour of kicking you in the character of an idle puppy. You were a good servant; but I find, by letting you crack your jokes, and sit in my company, you're grown quite a rascal.

_Midge._ Yes, sir, I was a modest, well behaved lad; but evil communication corrupts good manners.

_Harry._ Begone, sirrah, 'till I call for you. [_Exit_ MIDGE, _grumbling_.

_Harry._ Well, if my father but forgives me.--This three month's excursion has shewn me some life, and a devilish deal of fun. For one circ.u.mstance, I shall ever remember it with delight. Its bringing me acquainted with Jack Rover. How long he stays! Jack! In this forlorn stroller, I have discovered qualities that honour human nature, and accomplishments that might grace a prince. I don't know a pleasanter fellow, except when he gets to his abominable habit of quotation. I hope he will not find the purse I've hid in his coat pocket, before we part. I dread the moment, but it's come.

_Rover._ [_Without._] "The brisk li-li-lightening I."

_Harry._ Ay, here's the rattle. Hurried on by the impetuous flow of his own volatile spirits, his life is a rapid stream of extravagant whim; and while the serious voice of humanity prompts his heart to the best of actions, his features s.h.i.+ne in laugh and levity. Studying Bays, eh, Jack?

_Enter_ ROVER.

_Rover._ "I am the bold Thunder."

_Harry._ [_Aside._] I am, if he knew but all.--Keep one standing in the road.

_Rover._ Beg your pardon, my dear d.i.c.k; but all the fault of--Plague on't, that a man can't sleep and breakfast at an inn, then return up to his bedchamber for his gloves that he'd forgot, but there he must find chambermaids, thumping feathers and knocking pillows about, and keep one when one has affairs and business. 'Pon my soul, these girls'

conduct to us is intolerable. The very thought brings the blood into my face, and whenever they attempt to serve, provoke me so, damme but I will, I will--An't I right, d.i.c.k?

_Harry._ No; "all in the wrong."

_Rover._ No matter, d.i.c.k; that's the universal play "all round the wrekin:" but you are so conceited, because, by this company you're going to join at Winchester, you are engaged for high tragedy.

_Harry._ And you for Rangers, Plumes, and Foppingtons.

_Rover._ Our first play is Lear. I was devilish imperfect in Edgar, t'other night at Lymington. I must look it over. [_Takes out a book._]

"Away, the foul fiend follows me!" Hollo! stop a moment, we shall have the whole county after us. [_Going._

_Harry._ What now?

_Rover._ That rosy faced chambermaid put me in such a pa.s.sion, that, by Heaven, I walked out of the house, and forgot to pay our bill.

[_Going._

_Harry._ Never mind, Rover, it's paid.

_Rover._ Paid! why, neither you nor Midge had money enough. No, really!

_Harry._ Ha, ha, ha! I tell you 'tis.

_Rover._ You paid? Oh, very well. Every honest fellow should be a stock purse. Come then, let's push on now. Ten miles to Winchester; we shall be there by eleven.

_Harry._ Our trunks are booked at the inn for the Winchester coach.

_Rover._ "Ay, to foreign climates my old trunk I bear." But I prefer walking to the car of Thespis.

_Harry._ Which is the way?