Cupology: How to Be Entertaining Part 6

Nail to the mast her holy flag; Set every threadbare sail; And give her to the G.o.d of Storms, The lightning and the gale.

A TOAST TO OUR NATIVE LAND.

Huge and alert, irascible yet strong, We make our fitful way 'mid right and wrong.

One time we pour out millions to be free, Then rashly sweep an Empire from the Sea!

One time we pull the shackles from the slaves, And then, quiescent, we are ruled by knaves, Often we rudely break restraining bars, And confidentially reach out toward the stars.

Yet under all there flows a hidden stream, Sprung from the Rock of Freedom, the great dream Of Was.h.i.+ngton and Franklin, men of old, Who knew that freedom is not bought with gold; This Land we love, our heritage, Strange mixture of the gross and fine, yet sage And full of promise,--destined to be great, Drink to Our Native Land--G.o.d bless the State!

--_Robert Bridges in the Atlantic_.

Here's to the man who loves his wife, And loves his wife alone, For many a man loves another man's wife, When he ought to be loving his own.

TOAST TO THE HORSE.

Dr. Kane, President of the New York Drivers' a.s.sociation, at a public dinner recently delivered the following toast to the horse:

"That bundle of sentient nerves, with the heart of a woman, the eye of a gazelle, the courage of a gladiator, the docility of a slave, the proud courage of a king, and the blind obedience of a good soldier. The companion of the desert and the plain; that turns the moist furrow in the spring in order that all the world may have abundant harvests; that furnishes the sport of Kings; that with blazing eye and distended nostril, fearlessly leads our greatest Generals through carnage and the smoke of battle to glory and renown; whose blood forms one of the ingredients that go to make the ink in which all history is written, and that finally, mutely and sadly, in black trappings, pulls the humblest of us all to the newly sodded threshold of eternity."

OUR ABSENT FRIENDS.

Although out of sight we recognize them with our gla.s.ses.

FALSE FRIENDS.

Here's champagne for our real friends, And real pain for our sham friends.

OUR INCOMES.

May we have heads to earn and hearts to spend.

Here's wis.h.i.+ng us all more friends and less heed of them.

May we ever be able to serve a friend, and n.o.ble enough to conceal it.

THE SPHERE OF WOMAN.

They talk about a woman's sphere as though it had a limit; There's not a place in earth or heaven, There's not a task to mankind given, There's not a blessing or a woe, There's not a whispered yes or no, There's not a life, or death, or birth, That has a feather's weight of worth-- Without a woman in it.

Here's to the friends we cla.s.s as old, And here's to those we cla.s.s as new, May the new soon grow; to us old, And the old ne'er grow to us new.

A FEW TOASTS.

Woman. She needs no eulogy--she speaks for herself.

May we have the unspeakable good fortune to win a true heart, and the merit to keep it.

May we never murmur without cause and never have cause to murmur.

Woman. The fairest work of the great Author; the edition is large and no man should be without a copy.

Happy are we met, happy have we been, Happy may we part, and happy meet again.

May Satan cut the toes of all our foes, That we may know them by their limping.

The man we love--he who thinks the most good and speaks the least ill of his neighbors.

Our National birds-- The American eagle, the Thanksgiving turkey.

May the one give us peace in all our States-- And the other a piece for all our plates.

Here's to the girls of the American sh.o.r.e, I love but one, I love no more, Since she's not here to drink her part, I'll drink her share with all my heart.

A little health, a little wealth, A little house and freedom, With some few friends for certain ends, But little cause to need 'em.

Col. Lovell H. Jerome, who resigned as second lieutenant Second United States Cavalry, in 1879, and now repels the invading smuggler in New York City, brought a new toast to the Hoffman House bar recently:

To the ladies, Our arms your defense, Your arms our recompense, Fall in!

--_New York Sun_.

THREE GREAT COMMANDERS.

May we always be under the orders of General Peace, General Plenty and General Prosperity.

We now toast the superb Electric Flag of the people with every honorable Elk who has beautified and made memorable these pleasures of the Queen City.--_Cincinnati, July, 1904_.

Though there's many a slip twixt the cup and the lip, Yet, while o'er the brim of life's breaker I dip, While there's life in the lip, while there's warmth in the wine, One deep health I'll pledge, and that health shall be thine.

--_Owen Meredith_.

A HINT ON ENTERTAINING.