The Rubicon - BestLightNovel.com
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The Davenports had moved up to London in April, and Gertrude was with them again for a week before she went abroad to Aix with her mother in May. Mrs. Carston was a weak, fretful invalid, who always insisted on her daughter's cheerful and robust support while she went through a course of somewhat unnecessary baths and ma.s.sages. The great city was just beginning to settle down to its great effort of amusing itself for three months, and the _Morning Post_ recorded, morning by morning, some fresh additions to the big fair. The Davenports, in virtue of Mr.
Davenport's modest contribution to the task of governing the nation, had been duly entered on the books for the year, and their blinds in Grosvenor Square testified to the accuracy of the announcement.
Reggie and Gertrude were sitting in the dining-room about half-past ten one morning. Reggie was apt to treat breakfast as a movable feast, and this morning he had been out riding till after ten, and had only just come back. It was a hot, bright day, and he had taken the liberty, which had broadened down from precedent to custom, to ride in a straw hat.
This particular straw hat was new, and had a very smart I. Z. ribbon round it, and Gertrude was seeing how it would look on her. She was suffering from a slight cold, and had not gone out with him, but she found it pleasant enough to wait, after she had finished breakfast, and skim the daily papers till he returned.
She was deeply absorbed in the total disappearance of a French poodle when Reggie entered after dressing, and she laid down the paper to pour out tea for him.
"The Row was fuller this morning," said he, "and the Parliamentary train was in great force."
"What's the Parliamentary train?"
"Oh! the string of people who walk up and down very slowly, with a row of grooms behind; you know the sort."
"Any one there you knew?"
"Yes; several people. Gerty, give me another bit of sugar. Percy was there, looking for his sister. Apparently they've come back. Jim Armine was there too, also looking for Percy's sister."
"Lady Hayes?"
"Yes," said Reggie, eating steadily on. "I went and looked too. But we couldn't find her. By the way, Percy wants us to go there to lunch."
Gertrude had a sudden sense that all this had happened before, that she was going to act again in a rather distasteful scene. She had a sudden, instinctive desire not to go there, a quite irrational dislike to the idea.
"Oh! I can't," she said. "I've got a cold."
Reggie looked up innocently.
"Oh! I'm so sorry for not asking. Is it worse? Poor dear!"
Gertrude had a quite unusual dislike of white, excusable lies.
"No, it's not worse; it's rather better," she said.
"Let's go, then."
"Oh! I don't want to, Reggie," she said. "I want to go to the concert at St. James'. They're going to do the Tannhauser overture."
"That's Wagner, isn't it?" said Reggie, doubtfully. "I think Wagner is ugly."
"Oh, you exceedingly foolish boy," said Gertrude. "You might as well call a storm at sea ugly."
"I don't care," said Reggie, "I think it is hideous. Besides, I want to go to the Hayes."
"Oh, well, then you just sha'n't," said Gertrude. "Really, I want to go awfully to this."
"But it'll be much worse for your cold than going out to lunch."
"Oh, I give up my cold," said she. "I haven't got one, really."
Reggie ate marmalade attentively.
"Do take me to the concert," said Gertrude. "I'm going away in two days.
You can go and lunch with the Hayes then. It's a waste of time going out to lunch."
"You see, I promised to go to the Hayes," he said.
"Oh, nonsense! Send a note to say you have got to go to the concert.
It's quite true; you have got to go."
"Of course, if I have got to--" said he slowly.
"That's right. It begins at three, doesn't it? No; don't say we can do both, because it is quite impossible. You're very good to me, Reggie."
Gertrude felt intensely relieved, but she could not have told why. There had been something in the conversation she had held with Reggie, six months before, on the subject of Eva, which remained in her mind, and gave her a sense, not of danger, but of distrust. A sensitive mind need not, usually is not, the most a.n.a.lytical, and for this reason, to apply a.n.a.lysis to her unwillingness to see Eva, would yield either no results, or false ones. There is an instinct in animals which enables them to discriminate between their friends and their foes, and the keener that instinct is, the more instantaneous it is in its working. The anatomist can tell us the action of the heart with almost absolute accuracy; he can say how the blood gets oxydised in the lungs, how it feeds the muscles and works the nerves--but the one thing he cannot tell us is, why it does so. And these instincts, like the action of the heart, can be noted and expressed, but the reason of their working we shall not know just yet. An action may be pulled to pieces like a flower, and divided into its component parts, and labelled with fifty crack-jaw names, but the life of the flower ceases not to be a delicate, insoluble mystery to us.
Reggie was very fond of music, but it was compatible, or rather essential, that his particular liking for it prompted him to say that Wagner seemed to him to be "awfully ugly." Nor was it such a far cry that he should a.s.sert, that same evening to Gertrude, that he had thought the "Overture to Tannhauser" "awfully pretty."
Gertrude had been rather silent as they drove back. But something had prompted her to say to Reggie that evening, as they sat in the drawing-room before dinner:
"Ah! Reggie, I am so glad you are good."
Reggie's powers of a.n.a.lysis were easily baffled, and it is no wonder that he felt puzzled.
"I don't like bad people," he said.
"Nor do I, a bit," said Gertrude. "I am glad you don't either. I thought of that this afternoon at the concert."
"Oh! I listened to the music," said Reggie. "I liked it awfully."
"Yes, I know, but it suggested that to me. Half of the overture--all that rippling part seemed so wicked. I think Wagner must have been a bad man. He evidently meant it to be much more attractive than the other."
"I don't see how you can say some parts are wicked and some good. It's all done on the fiddles, you know."
Gertrude laughed.
"I hope you'll never understand, then," she said. "I prefer you as you are. After all, that matters a great deal."
The gong had sounded, and Mrs. Davenport, as she entered the room, heard the last words.
"What doesn't Reggie understand?" she asked.
"Gertrude said she thought some of the overture was wicked," said he, "and I said I didn't know what she meant. Is it very stupid of me?"
Mrs. Davenport looked up quickly at Gertrude.
"No, dear; I think it's very wise of you," she said.
Reggie jumped up.