By the Light of the Soul Part 76

When Maria at last recovered herself and turned to Miss Blair, to her astonishment she no longer seemed as deformed as she had been on the train. She fitted into this dark, rich, Eastern splendor as a misformed bronze idol might have done. Miss Blair gave a little, shrewd laugh at Maria's gaze, then she spoke to another maid who had appeared when the door opened.

"This is my friend Miss Ackley, Louise," she said. "Take her to the west room, and call down and have a supper tray sent to her." Then she said to Maria that she must be tired, and would prefer going at once to her room. "I am tired myself," said Miss Blair. "Such persons as I do not move about the face of the earth with impunity. There is a wear and tear of the soul and the body when the body is so small that it scarcely holds the soul. You will have your supper sent up, and your breakfast in the morning. At ten o'clock I will send Adelaide to bring you to my room." She bade Maria good-night, and the girl followed the maid, stepping into an elevator on one side of the vestibule. She had a vision of Miss Blair's tiny figure with Adelaide moving slowly upward on the other side.

Maria reflected that she was glad that she had her toilet articles and her night-dress at least in her satchel. She felt the maid looking at her, although her manner was very much like Adelaide's.

She wondered what she would have thought if she had not at least had her simple necessaries for the night when she followed her into a room which seemed to her fairly wonderful. It was a white room. The walls were hung with paper covered with sheafs of white lilies; white fur rugs--wolf-skins and skins of polar bears--were strewn over the polished white floor. All the toilet articles were ivory and the furniture white, with decorations of white lilies and silver. In one corner stood a bed of silver with white draperies. Beyond, Maria had a glimpse of a bath in white and silver, and a tiny dressing-room which looked like frost-work. When the maid left her for a moment Maria stood and gazed breathless. She realized a sort of delight in externals which she had never had before. The externals seemed to be farther-reaching. There was something about this white, virgin room which made it seem to her after her terror on the train like heaven.

A sense of absolute safety possessed her. It was something to have that, although she was doing something so tremendous to her self-consciousness that she felt like a criminal, and the ache in her heart for those whom she had left never ceased. The maid brought in a tray covered with dainty dishes of white and silver and a little flask of white wine. Then, after Maria had refused further a.s.sistance, she left her. Maria ate her supper. She was in reality half famished. Then she went to bed. Nestling in her white bed, looking out of a lace-curtained window opposite through which came the glimpse of a long line of city lights, Maria felt more than ever as if she were in another world. She felt as if she were gazing at her past, at even her loves of life, through the wrong end of a telescope.

The night was very warm but the room was deliciously cool. A breath of sweet coolness came from one of the walls. Maria, contrary to her wont, fell asleep almost immediately. She was exhausted, and an unusual peace seemed to soothe her very soul. She felt as if she had really died and gotten safe to Heaven. She said her prayers, then she was asleep. She awoke rather late the next morning, and took her bath, and then her breakfast was brought. When that was finished and she was dressed, it was ten o'clock, and the maid Adelaide came to take her to her hostess. Maria went down one elevator and up another, the one in which she had seen Miss Blair ascend the night before.

Then she entered a strange room, in the midst of which sat Miss Blair. To Maria's utter amazement, she no longer seemed in the least deformed, she no longer seemed a dwarf. She was in perfect harmony with the room, which was low-ceiled, full of strange curves and low furniture with curved backs. It was all Eastern, as was the first floor of the house. Maria understood with a sort of intuition that this was necessary. The walls were covered with Eastern hangings, tables of lacquer stood about filled with squat bronzes and gemlike ivory carvings. The hangings were all embroidered in short curve effects. Maria realized that her hostess, in this room, made more of a harmony than she herself. She felt herself large, coa.r.s.e, and common where she should have been tiny, bizarre, and, according to the usual standard, misformed. Miss Blair had planned for herself a room wherein everything was misformed, and in which she herself was in keeping. It had been partly the case on the first floor of the house. Here it was wholly. Maria sat down in one of the squat, curved-back chairs, and Miss Blair, who was opposite, looked at her, then laughed with the open delight of a child.

"What a pity I cannot make the whole earth over to suit me," she said, "instead of only this one room! Now I look entirely perfect to you, do I not?"

"Yes," Maria replied, looking at her with wonder.

"It is my vanity room," said Miss Blair, and she laughed as if she were laughing at herself. Then she added, with a little pathos, "You yourself, if you had been in my place, would have wanted one little corner in which you could be perfect."

"Yes, I should," said Maria. As she spoke she settled herself down lower in her chair.

"Yes, you do look entirely too tall and straight in here," said Miss Blair, and laughed again, with genuine glee. "Beauty is only a matter of comparison, you know," said she. "If one is ugly and misshapen, all she has to do is to surround herself with things ugly and misshapen, and she gets the effect of perfect harmony, which is the highest beauty in the world. Here I am in harmony after I have been out of tune. It is a comfort. But, after all, being out of tune is not the worst thing in the world. It might be worse. I would not make the world over to suit me, but myself to suit the world, if I could.

After all, the world is right and I am wrong, but in here I seem to be right. Now, child, tell me about yourself."

Maria told her. She left nothing untold. She told her about her father and mother, her step-mother, and Evelyn, and her marriage, and how she had planned to go to Edgham, get the little sum which her father had deposited in the savings-bank for her, and then vanish.

"How?" asked Miss Blair.

Maria confessed that she did not know.

"Of course your mere disappearance is not going to right things, you know," said Miss Blair. "That matrimonial tangle can only be straightened by your death, or the appearance of it. I do not suppose you meditate the stereotyped hat on the bank, and that sort of thing."

"I don't know exactly what to do," said Maria.

"You are quite right in avoiding a divorce," said Miss Blair, "especially when your own sister is concerned. People would never believe the whole truth, but only part of it. The young man would be ruined, too. The only way is to have your death-notice appear in the paper."

"How?"

"Everything is easy, if one has money," said Miss Blair, "and I have really a good deal." She looked thoughtfully at Maria. "Did you really care for that young man?" she asked.

Maria paled. "I thought so," she said.

"Then you did."

"It does not make any difference if I did," said Maria, with a little indignation. She felt as if she were being probed to her heart-strings.

"No, of course it does not," Miss Blair agreed directly. "If he and your sister have fallen in love, as you say, you have done obviously the only thing to do. We will have the notice in the papers. I don't know quite how I shall arrange it; but I have a fertile brain."

Maria looked hesitatingly at her. "But it will not be telling the truth," she said.

"But what did you plan to do, if you told the truth when you came away?" asked Miss Blair with a little impatience.

"I did not really plan anything," replied Maria helplessly. "I only thought I would go."

"You are inconsequential," said Miss Blair. "You cannot start upon a train of sequences in this world unless you go on to the bitter end.

Besides, after all, why do you object to lying? I suppose you were brought up to tell the truth, and so was I, and I really think I venerate the truth more than anything else, but sometimes a lie is the highest truth. See here. You are willing to bear all the punishment, even fire and brimstone, and so on, if your sister and this man whom you love, are happy, aren't you?"

"Of course," replied Maria.

"Well, if you tell a lie which can hurt only yourself, and bless others, and are willing to bear the punishment for it, you are telling the truth like the angels. Don't you worry, my dear. But you must not go to Edgham for that money. I have enough for us both."

"I have nearly all my last term's salary, except the sum I paid for my fare here," Maria said, proudly.

"Well, dear, you shall spend it, and then you shall have some of mine."

"I don't want any money, except what I earn," Maria said.

"You may read to me, and earn it," Miss Blair said easily. "Don't fret about such a petty thing. Now, will you please touch that bell, dear. I must go and arrange about our pa.s.sage."

"Our pa.s.sage?" repeated Maria dully.

"Yes; to-day is Thursday. We can catch a Sat.u.r.day steamer. We can buy anything which you need ready-made in the way of wearing-apparel, and get the rest on the other side."

Maria gasped. She was very white, and her eyes were dilated. She stared at Miss Rosa Blair, who returned her stare with curious fixedness. Maria seemed to see depths within depths of meaning in her great dark eyes. A dimness swept over her own vision.

"Touch the bell, please, dear," said Miss Blair.

Maria obeyed. She touched the bell. She was swept off her feet. She had encountered a will stronger than any which she had ever known, a will which might have been strengthened by the tininess of the body in which its wings were bent, but always beating for flight. And she had encountered this will at a moment when her own was weakened and her mind dazed by the unprecedented circ.u.mstances in which she was placed.

Chapter x.x.xVIII

Three days later, when they were on the outward-bound steamer, Miss Rosa Blair crossed the corridor between her state-room, which she occupied with her maid, to Maria's, and stood a moment looking down at the girl lying in her berth. Maria was in that state of liability to illness which keeps one in a berth, although she was not actually sea-sick.

"My dear," said Miss Blair. "I think I may as well tell you now. In the night's paper before we left, I saw the death-notice of a certain Maria Edgham, of Edgham, New Jersey. There were some particulars which served to establish the fact of the death. You will not be interested in the particulars?"

Maria turned her pale face towards the port-hole, against which dashed a green wave topped with foam. "No," said she.

"I thought you would not," said Miss Blair. "Then there is something else."

Maria waited quiescent.

"Your name is on the s.h.i.+p's list of pa.s.sengers as Miss Elizabeth Blair. You are my adopted daughter."

Maria started.

"Adelaide does not remember that you were called Miss Ackley," said Miss Blair. "She will never remember that you were anything except my adopted daughter. She is a model maid. As for the others, Louise is a model, too, and so is the coachman. The footman is discharged. When we return, n.o.body in my house will have ever known you except as Elizabeth Blair." Miss Blair went out of the state-room walking easily with the motion of the s.h.i.+p. She was a good sailor.

The next afternoon Maria was able to sit out on deck. She leaned back in her steamer-chair, and wept silently. Miss Blair stood at a little distance near the rail, talking to an elderly gentleman whom she had met years ago. "She is my adopted daughter Elizabeth," said Miss Blair. "She has been a little ill, but she is much better. She is feeling sad over the death of a friend, poor child."