Rattlin the Reefer Part 35

"Rattlin, owing to one crooked thing and another, we have lately fared miserably. The s.h.i.+p has been a h.e.l.l upon the waters. I am faint for the want of something to support me. Is that prog and that bottle of porter private property?"

"They are my property. I do not offer them to you, because I would not that you thought that I was aping magnanimity. For the respect that I shall always owe to an old sailor, I say to you frankly, that, if your feelings are sufficiently amicable towards me to take it, take it, and with it a welcome and a wish that it may do you much good--but, if your blood is still evil towards me, for the sake of your own integrity you would reject it, though you starved."

"Rattlin, I break bread with you as a friend. I am confoundedly sorry that I have been prejudiced against you--and there's my hand upon it."

I shook hands with him heartily, and said: "Pigtop, I cannot regret that I did my best to repel your insult, but I sincerely regret its consequences. Henceforward, you shall insult me twice, before I lift my hand against you once."

"I will never insult you again. I will be your fast friend, and perhaps I may have the means of proving it."

It now became my turn to be astonished. Instead of seeing the hungry oldster fall-to, like a ravenous dog, he broke off a small corner from the bread, ate it, and was in the act of retiring, when I hailed him.

"Halloa!--Pigtop--what's in the wind now? My friend, you do but little honour to my cheer, and I am sure that you must want it."

"No, no," said Pigtop, with much feeling--"you shall never suppose that the old sailor sold the birthright of his honour for a mess of pottage."

"Well felt and well said, by all that's upright! But, nevertheless, you shall drink this bottle of porter, and eat this bread and b.u.t.ter--and so I'll e'en cut it up into very excellent rounds. You sha'n't accept my friends.h.i.+p without accepting my fare. I like your spirit so well, Pigtop, that for your sake I will never judge of a man again, until I have thrashed him soundly."

To the surprise of my messmates, when they a.s.sembled punctually to the feast of mutton, they discovered me and old Pigtop, hand in hand across the table, discussing another bottle of porter.

CHAPTER SIXTY ONE.

RALPH IS PLACED IN AN AWKWARD PREDICAMENT BEING PUT UPON HIS TRIAL TO PROVE HIS IDENt.i.tY, AND HAVING NO WITNESSES TO CALL BUT HIMSELF--ALL VOICES AGAINST HIM BUT HIS OWN.

At this period, every day, nay, almost every hour, seemed to bring its startling event. Ere good digestion had followed our very good appet.i.tes, bustle and agitation pervaded the whole s.h.i.+p. It had been telegraphed from on sh.o.r.e that one of the junior lords of the Admiralty was coming on board immediately. There was blank dismay in our berth.

How could my mess-mates possibly go on the quarter-deck, and a.s.sist to receive the dignified personage? Much did I enjoy the immunity that, I supposed, being a prisoner gave to me.

The portentous message came down that "the young gentlemen, in full uniform, are expected to be on the quarter-deck to receive the lord of the Admiralty." All the consolation that I could give was quoting to them the speech of Lady Macbeth to her guests--"Go, nor stand upon the order of your going." The firing of the salute from the main-deck guns announced the approach, and the clanking of the muskets of the marines on the deck, after they had presented arms, the arrival of the lord plainly to me, in my darksome habitation. Ten minutes had not elapsed, during which I was hugging myself with the thought that all this pomp and circ.u.mstance could not annoy me, when, breathless with haste, there rushed one, two, three, four messengers, each treading on the heels of the other, telling me the lord of the Admiralty wished to see me immediately in the captain's cabin.

"Me! see me! What, in the name of all that is disastrous, can he want with me?" I would come when I had made a little alteration in my dress.

Trusting that he was as impatient as all great men usually are when dealing with little ones, I hoped by dilatoriness to weary him out, and thus remain unseen. Vain speculation! A minute had scarcely elapsed, when one of the lieutenants came down, in a half-friendly, half-imperative manner, to acquaint me that I _must_ come up immediately.

The scene that ensued--how can I sufficiently describe it? Had I not been sustained by the impudence of desperation, I should have jumped overboard directly I had got on deck. I found myself, not well knowing by what kind of locomotion I got there, in the fore-cabin, where was spread a very handsome collation, round which were a.s.sembled some fifteen officers, all in their full-dress uniforms, in the midst of which a feeble, delicate-looking, and excessively neatly dressed old gentleman stood, in plain clothes. His years must have been far beyond seventy. He was fidgety, indeed, to that degree that would induce you to think that he was a little palsied.

I cannot answer for the silent operations that take place in other men's minds, but in my own, even under the greatest misfortunes a droll conceit will more rally my crushed spirits than all the moral consolations that Blair ever penned.

"If this be the _junior_ lord of the Admiralty," thought I, "how venerably patriarchal must be his four seniors!" I smiled at the idea as I bowed.

Let us describe the person that smiled and bowed to this august a.s.sembly.

Figure to yourself a tall youth, attired in a blue cotton jacket, with the uniform b.u.t.ton, a once white kerseymere waistcoat, and duck trousers, on which were mapped, in cloudy colours--produced by stains of black-strap, peasoup, and the other etceteras that may be found in that receptacle of abominations, an ill-regulated mids.h.i.+pman's berth--more oceans, seas, bays, and promontories, than nature ever gave to this unhappy globe. Beneath these were discovered a pair of dark blue worsted stockings, terminated by a pair of purser's shoes--things of a hybrid breed, between a pair of cast-off slippers and the ploughman's clodhoppers, fitting as well as the former, and nearly as heavy as the latter. Now, this costume, in the depth of winter, was sufficiently light and _bizarre_; but the manner in which I had contrived to decorate my countenance soon riveted all attention to that specimen of the "human face divine," marred by the hand of man. Thanks to the expertness of Mr Pigtop, my eyes were singularly well blackened, and the swelling of my face, particularly about the upper lip, had not yet subsided. Owing to my remaining so much, since my arrest, in the obscurity of the between-decks, and perhaps to some inflammation in my eyes, from my recent beating, I blinked upon those before me like an owl.

"As-ton-ish-ing!" said my Lord Whiffledale. "Is that Mr Ralph Rattlin?"

"The same, my lord," said Captain Reud. "Shall I introduce him to your lords.h.i.+p?"

"By no manner of means--yet--for his father's sake--really-- ridiculous!--Henry, the fifth baron of Whiffledale--ah! black eyes, filthy costume, very particularly filthy, upon my honour. How is this, Captain Reud? Of course, my present visit is not official, but merely to satisfy my curiosity as a gentleman; how is it that your first-lieutenant permits the young gentlemen to so far disgrace--I must use the word--the service--as you see--in--in my young friend, there, with the worsted stockings, and swelled lip, and--black eyes--"

When I first made my appearance, all the captains then and there collected, had looked upon me with anything but flattering regards; some turned up their noses, some grinned, all appeared astonished, and all disgusted. At the conclusion of this speech, I was surprised at the benignity which beamed upon me from under their variously shaped and coloured eyebrows. There was magic in the words "for his father's sake," and "my young friend."

Captain Reud replied, "It is not, my lord, so much the fault of Mr Rattlin as it would, at the first blush, appear to be. He himself pressed a wicked, mischievous young blackguard, who was appointed the young gentleman's servant. Incredible as the fact may appear, my lord, he contrived, in a manner that Dr Thompson can best explain to you, to destroy all the clothes of his young master merely in the wantonness of his malice. I know that Mr Rattlin is well provided with money, and that he will take the first opportunity again to a.s.sume the garb of a gentleman; and I do a.s.sure your lords.h.i.+p that no man becomes it better."

"Sir, if this youth be Mr Rattlin--I believe it--the very oldest blood in the country flows in his veins--but it does seem a kind of species of miracle how a scion of that n.o.ble house should stand before me, his father's friend, with two black eyes and a ragged jacket--there may be some mistake, after all. I was going, Mr Rattlin, to take you with me to my hotel, having matters of the utmost importance to communicate to you; but, oh no!--I am not fastidious, so we had better first have a little private conference in the after--gentlemen, will you excuse us?"--bowing round--"Captain Reud will perhaps do me the favour to be of the party?"

So, into the after-cabin we three went, I burning with impatience, and speechless with agitation, supposing that the much-coveted secret of my parentage would be at length unfolded to me.

Lord Whiffledale and Captain Reud being seated with their backs to the cabin-windows, and I standing before them with the light full upon my disfigured face, I must have had a great deal more the look of a battered blackguard, being tried for petty larceny, than a young gentleman on the eve of being acknowledged the heir to greatness by a very n.o.ble lord.

There was a pause for some minutes, during which Lord Whiffledale was preparing to be imposing, and the light of mischief began to beam with incipient insanity in Reud's eye. "Certainly," I said to myself, "he will not dare to practise one of his mad pranks upon a lord of the Admiralty!" What will not madness dare?

His lords.h.i.+p, having taken snuff very solemnly, and looked round him with a calm circ.u.mspection, fixing his dull eye upon me, and wagging his head, with an equable motion, slowly up and down, spoke as follows:--

"There is a Providence above us all. It is seen, Mr Rattlin, in the fall of a sparrow--it has protected our glorious inst.i.tutions--it has sanctified the pillars of the State. Providence is, Mr Rattlin--do you really know what Providence is? I ask you the question advisedly--I always speak advisedly--I ask you, do you know what Providence is? Do not speak; interruptions are unseemly--there are few who interrupt me.

Providence, young man, has brought me on board this frigate to-day--the wind is north-easterly, what there is of it may increase my catarrh-- there is the hand of Providence in everything. I promised my most honourable friend that I would see you as you are--how equipped, how lodged, how 'cabined, cribbed, confined.' Apt quotation!--you are cabined--you are cribbed--you are confined--_cribbed_--look at your countenance--as I said before, 'tis the hand of Providence--"

"Begging your lords.h.i.+p's pardon," said Reud, submissively, with the dubious twinkle in his eye for interrupting a n.o.bleman who is so seldom interrupted--"I rather think that it was the fist of Pigtop."

"Pigtop!--Providence--my quotation. Captain Reud, I have not really the pleasure of understanding you. This young gentleman who has been so lately under the chastening hand of Providence--"

"Pigtop."

"Is now about to receive from that bountiful hand some of the choicest gifts it is in the happiness of man to receive--rank, wealth, a father's blessing. Oh! 'tis too much--I am affected--what can I possibly do with him with those black eyes? Mr Ralph Rattlin, you have not yet spoken to me--indeed, how can you? What words would be sufficiently expressive of--of--what you ought to express! Captain Reud, don't you find this scene rather affecting? Young gentleman, I am here to verify you--are you fully prepared, sir, to be, as it were, verified?"

"My lord, my lord, I am bursting with impatience!"

"Bursting with impatience! The scene is affecting, certainly-- touching--complete, with the exception of the black eyes. What would not Miss Burney make of it in one of her admirable novels! But you might have made use of a better word than bursting--I am ready to dissolve with emotion at this tender scene--the discovery of his parentage to a tall, ingenuous youth--bursting--you might have used, first, burning--secondly, glowing--thirdly, consuming--fourthly, raging--fifthly, dying--sixthly, there is peris.h.i.+ng; but I will not much insist upon the last, though it is certainly better than bursting. You mean to say that you are burning, not bursting, with impatience--it is a natural feeling, it is commendable, it is worthy of a son of your most honourable father--I will faithfully report to him this filial impatience, and how eager I was to remove it. I do not say satisfy it-- a person less careful of the varieties of language would have said satisfy--an impatience satisfied is what? a contradiction of terms; but an impatience removed is--is--the removal of an impatience. This interview will grow very touching. Those blackened eyes--I would that there were a green shade over them. Are you prepared to be verified?"

I bowed, fearing that any other expression of my wishes would lead to further digression. His lords.h.i.+p then, putting on his spectacles, and reading from a paper, commenced thus, I, all the while, trembling with agitation:

"Are you the person who was nursed by one Rose Brandon, the wife of Joseph Brandon, by trade a sawyer?"

"I am."

"What name did you go by when under the care of those persons?"

"Ralph Rattlin Brandon."

"Right, very good. I shall embrace him shortly--my heart yearns towards him. Were you removed to a school, by a gentleman in a plain carriage, from those Brandons?"

"I was."

"To where?"

"To Mr Roots' academy."

"Right--a good boy, an amiable boy, he was removed to Mr Roots': and, having there imbibed the rudiments of a cla.s.sical education, you were removed to where?"