Literary Blunders Part 13

''Restorative Hotel Fine Hok, Kept by Frank Prosperi, Facing the military quarter at Pompei.

That hotel open since a very few days is renowned for the cheapness of the Apart

ments and linen, for the exactness of the service, and for the excellence of the true French cookery. Being situated at proximity of that regeneration, it will be propitious to receive families, whatever, which will desire to reside alternatively into that town to visit the monuments now found and to breathe thither the salubrity of the air. That establishment will avoid to all travellers, visitors of that sepult city and to the artists (willing draw the antiquities) a great disorder occasioned by tardy and expensive contour of the iron whay people will find equally thither a complete sortment of stranger wines and of the kingdom, hot and cold baths, stables, coach houses, the whole at very moderated prices. Now all the applications and endeavours of the Hoste will tend always to correspond to the tastes and desires of their customers which will require without doubt to him into that town the reputation whome, he is ambitious.''

On the occasion of the Universal Exhibition of Barcelona in 1888 the _Moniteur de l'Exposition_ printed a description of Barcelona in French, German, Spanish,

and English. The latter is so good that it is worthy of being printed in full:--

''Then there will be in the same Barcelona the first universal Exposition of Spain. It was not possible to choose a more favorable place, for the capital- town of Catalonia is a first-rate city open to civilization.

''It is quite out of possibility to deny it to be the industrial and commercial capital of the peninsula and a universal Exposition could not possibly meet in any other place a more lively splendour than in this magnificent town.

''Indeed what may want Barcelona to deserve to be called great and handsome?

Are here not to be found archeological and architectural riches, whose specimens are inexhaustible?

''What are then those churches whose style it is impossible to find elsewhere, containing altars embellished with truly spanish magnificence, and so large and imposing cloisters, that there feels any man himself exceedingly small and little?

What those shaded promenades, where the sun cannot almost get through with

the golden tinge of its rays? what this Rambla where every good citizen of Barcelona must take his walk at least once every day, in order to accomplish the civic pilgrimage of a true Catalanian?

''And that Paseo Colon, so picturesque with its palmtrees and electric light, which makes it like, in the evening, a theatrical decoration, and whose ornament has been very happily just finished?

''And that statue of Christopher Colomb, whose installation will be accomplished in a very short time, whose price may be 500,000 francs?

''Are not there still a number of proud buildings, richly ornamented, and splendid theaters? one of them, perhaps the most beautiful, surely the largest (it contains 5000 places) the Liceo, is truly a master-pice, where the spectators are lost in admiration of the riches, the ornaments, the pictures and feel a true regret to turn their eyes from them to look at the stage.

''You will see coffee houses, where have been spent hundreds of thousands to change their large rooms in enchanted

halls with which it would be difficult to contest even for the palaces of east.

''And still in those little streets, now very few, so narrow that the inhabitants of their opposite houses can shake hands together, do you not know that doors may be found which open to yards and staircases worthy of palaces?

''Do you not know there are plenty of sculptures, every one of them masterpieces, and that, especially the town and deputation house contain some halls which would make meditate all our great masters?

''If we walk through the Catalonia- square to reach the Ensanche, our astonishment becomes still greater.

''In this Ensanche, a newly-born, but already a great town, there are no streets: there are but promenades with trees on both sides, which not only moderate the rays of the sun through their follage, but purify the surrounding atmosphere and seem to say to those who are walking beneath their shade: You are breathing here the purest air!

''There display the houses plenty of

the rarest sorts of marble. Out and indoors rules marble, the ceilings of the halls, the staircases, the yards command and force admiration to the spectator, who thought to see only houses and finds monumental buildings.

''Join to that a Paseo de Gracia with immense perspective; the promenade of Cortes, 10 kil. long; some free squares by day- and night-time, in which the rarest plants and the sweetest flowers enchant the pa.s.sengers eyes and enbalm his smell.

''Join lastly the neighbourhoods, but a short way from the town and put on all sides in communication with it by means of tramways-lines and steam-tramways too; those places show a very charming scenery for every one who likes natural beauties mingled with those which are created by the genius of man.

''After that all there is Monjuich, whose proud fortress seems to say: I protect Barcelona: half-way the slope of the mountain, there are Miramar, Vista Alegre, which afford one of the grandest panorama in the world: on the left side,

the horizon skirting, some hills which form a girdle, whose indented tops detach them selves from an ever-blue sky; at the foot of those mountains, the suburbs we have already mentioned, created for the rest and enjoyment of man after his accomplished duty and finished work; on the lowest skirt Barcelona in a flame with its great buildings, steeples, towers, houses ornamented with flat terraces, and more than all that, its haven, which had been, to say so, conquered over the Mediterranean and harbors daily in itself a large number of s.h.i.+ps.

''All this ideal Whole is concentrated beneath an enchanting sky, almost as beautiful as the sky of Italy. The climate of Barcelona is very much like Nice, the pretty.

''Winter is here unknown; in its place there rules a spring, which allows every plant to bud, every most delicate flower to blossom, orangetrees and roses, throughout the whole year.

''In one word, Barcelona is a magnificent town, which is about to offer to the world a splendid, universal Exposition,

whose success is quite out of doubt determined.''

At the Paris Exhibition of 1889 a _Practical Guide_ was produced for the benefit of the English visitor, which is written throughout in the most astonis.h.i.+ng jargon, as may be seen from the opening sentences of the ''Note of the Editor,'' which run as follows: ''The Universal Exhibition, for whom who comes there for the first time, is a true chaos in which it is impossible to direct and recognize one's self without a guide.

What wants the stranger, the visitor who comes to the Exhibition, it is a means which permits him to see all without losing uselessly his time in the most part vain researches.''

This is the account of the first conception of the Exhibition: ''Who was giving the idea of the Exhibition? The first idea of an Exhibition of the Centenary belongs in reality not to anybody.

It was in the air since several years, when divers newspapers, in 1883, bethought them to consecrate several articles to it, and so it became a serious matter. The

period of incubation (brooding) lasted since 1883 till the month of March 1884; when they considered the question they preoccupied them but about a National Exhibition. Afterwards the ambition increased. The ministery, then presided by Mr. Jules Ferry, thought that if they would give to this commercial and industrial manifestation an international character they would impose the peace not only to France, but to the whole world.''

The Eiffel Tower gives occasion for some particularly fine writing: ''In order to attire the stranger, to create a great attraction which a.s.sured the success of the Exhibition, it wanted something exceptional, unrivalled, extraordinary. An engineer presented him, Mr. Eiffel, already known by his considerable and keen works. He proposed to M. Locroy to erect a tower in iron which, reaching the height of three hundred metres, would represent, at the industrial sight, the resultant of the modern progresses. M.

Locroy reflected and accepted. Hardly twenty years ago, this project would have appeared fantastic and impossible. The

state of the science of the iron constructions was not advanced enough, the security given by the calculations was not yet a.s.sured; to-day, they know where they are going, they are able to count the force of the wind. The resistance which the iron opposes to it. Mr. Eiffel came at the proper time, and nevertheless how many people have prophetized that the tower would never been constructed.

How many critics have fallen upon this audacious project! It was erected, however, and one perceives it from all Paris; it astonishes and lets in extasy the strangers who come to contemplate it.''

The figures attached to the fountain under the tower are comically described as follows:--

''Europe under the lines of a woman, leaned upon a printing press to print and a book, seems deeped in reflections.

''America is young woman, energetic and virginal however, characterising the youth and the audacies of the American people.

''Asia, the cradle of the human kind, represents the volupty and the sensualism.

Her posture, the expression of her figure,

render well the abandonment of the pa.s.sion with the oriental people.

''Africa represented by a figure of a woman in a timid att.i.tude, is well the symbol of the savage people enslaved by the civilisation.

''Australia finally is figured by a woman b.u.t.tressed on herself, like an animal not yet tamed, ready to throw itself on its prey, without waiting to be attacked. . . .

''Above Asia and Africa, the Love and the Sleep, in the shade of a floating drapery. Finally, between Europe and America, a young girl symbolises the History.''

The author commences the account of his first walk as follows: ''Thus we begin, at present as we have let him see these two wonderworks which fly at the eyes, the Tower and the fountain, to return on his steps to retake with order this walk of recognition which will permit him, thanks to our watchfulness, to see all in a short time.''

''The History of the human dwelling''

is introduced thus: ''It is the moment or never to walk among the surprising

rest.i.tution, of which M. Garnier the eminent architect of the Opera has made him the promoter. On our left going along the flower-beds from the Tower till here, the constructions of the History of the human Dwelling is unfolded to our eyes. The human Dwelling in all countries and in all times, there is certainly an excellent subject of study. Without doubt the great works do not fail, where conscientious plates enable us to know exactly in which condition where living our ancestors, how their dwellings where disposed in the interior. But nothing approaches the demonstration by the materiality of the fact, and it is struck with this truth that the organisators of the Exhibition resolved to erect an improvisated town, including houses of all countries and all lat.i.tudes.''

The author finishes up his little work in the same self-satisfied manner, which shows how unconscious he was that he was writing rubbish:--

''There is finished our common walk, and in a happy way, after six days which we dare believe it did not seem to you

long, and tiresome, your curiosity finding a constant aliment at every step which we made you do, in this exhibition without rivalry, where the beauties succeed to the beauties, where one leaves not one pleasure but for a new one. As for us, our task of cicerone is too agreeable to us, that we shall do our best to retain you still near us, in efforcing us to discover still other spectacles, and to present you them after all those you know already.''

If it be absurd to give information to Englishmen in a queer jargon which it is difficult for him to understand, what must be said of those who attempt to teach a language of which they are profoundly ignorant? Most of us can call to mind instances of exceedingly unidiomatic sentences which have been presented to our notice in foreign conversation books; but certainly the most extraordinary of this cla.s.s of blunders are to be found in the _New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and English_, by J. de Fonseca and P. Carolino, which created some stir in the English press a few years

ago.[14] The authors do not appear to have had even the most distant acquaintance with either the spoken or written language, so that many of the sentences are positively unintelligible, although the origin of many of them may be found in a literal translation of certain French sentences. One chapter of this wonderful book is devoted to _Idiotisms_, which is a singularly appropriate t.i.tle for such odd English proverbs as the following:--

[14] A selection from this book was printed by Messrs. Field & Tuer under the t.i.tle of _English as she is spoke_.

''The necessity don't know the low.''

''To build castles in Espaguish.''

''So many go the jar to spring, than at last rest there.''

(A little further on we find another version of this well-known proverb: ''So much go the jar to spring that at last it break there.'')

''The stone as roll not heap up not foam.''

''He is beggar as a church rat.''