Literary Blunders Part 14

''To come back at their muttons.''

''Tell me whom thou frequent, I will tell you which you are.''

The apparently incomprehensible sentence ''He sin in trouble water'' is explained by the fact that the translator confused the two French words _pcher_, to sin, and _pcher_, to fish.

The cla.s.sification adopted by the authors cannot be considered as very scientific. The only colours catalogued are _white, cray, gridelin, musk_ and _red_; the only ''music's instruments''--_a flagelet, a dreum_, and a _hurdy-gurdy_.

''Common stones'' appear to be _loadstones, brick, white lead_, and _gumstone_.

But probably the list of ''Chastis.e.m.e.nts''

is one of the funniest things in this Guide to Conversation. The list contains _a fine, honourable fine, to break upon, to tear off the flesh, to draw to four horses_.

The anecdotes chosen for the instruction of the unfortunate Portuguese youth are almost more unintelligible than the rest of the book, and probably the following two anecdotes could not be matched in any other printed book:--

''The Commander Forbin of Janson,

being at a repast with a celebrated Boileau, had undertaken to pun upon her name:--'What name, told him, carry you thither? Boileau: I would wish better to call me Drink wine.' The poet was answered him in the same tune:-- 'And you, sir, what name have you choice?

Janson: I should prefer to be named John-meal. The meal don't is valuable better than the furfur.'''

The next is as good:--

''Plato walking one's self a day to the field with some of their friends. They were to see him Diogenes who was in water untill the chin. The superficies of the water was snowed, for the rescue of the hole that Diogenes was made.

Don't look it more told them Plato, and he shall get out soon.''

A large volume ent.i.tled _Poluglssos_ was published in Belgium in 1841, which is even more misleading and unintelligible than the Portuguese School Book. The English vocabulary contains some amazing words, such as _agridulce, ales of troops, ancientness sign, bivacq fire, breast's pellicule, chimney black money, infatuated compa.s.s,

iug_ (vocal), _window, umbrella_, etc. At the end of this vocabulary are these notes:--

''Look the abridged introduction exeptless for the english editions, foregoing the french postcript, next after the t.i.tle page. Just as the numbers, the names of cities, states, seas, mountains and rivers, the christian names of men and woman, and several synonimous, who enter into the composition of many english words, suppressed in the former vocabulary, are explained by the respective categorys and appointed at the general index, look also by these, what is not found here above.''

''_Version alternative_. See for the shorter introduction exeptless for the english editions, foregoing the french postscript next after the t.i.tle page. Just as the numbers &c. . . . their expletives are be given by the respective categorys, and appointed at the general index, to wich is sent back!''

We are frequently told that foreigners are much better educated than we are, and that the trade of the world is slipping

through our fingers because we are not taught languages as the foreigners are.

This may be so, but one cannot help believing that the dullest of English clerks would be able to hold his own in compet.i.tion with the ingenious youths who are taught foreign languages on the system adopted by Senhors Fonseca and Carolino, and by the compiler of _Poluglssos_.

Guides to a foreign town or country written in English by a foreigner are often very misleading; in fact, sometimes quite incomprehensible. A contributor to the _Notes and Queries_ sent to that periodical some amusing extracts from a Guide to Amsterdam. The following few lines from a description of the a.s.size Court give a fair idea of the language:--

''The forefront has a n.o.ble and sublime aspect, and is particularly characteristical to what it ought to represent. It is built in a division of three fronts in the corinthic order, each of them consists of four raising columns, resting upon a general bas.e.m.e.nt from the one end of the forefront to the other, and supporting

a cornish, equalling running all over the face.''[15]

[15] _Notes and Queries_, First Series, iii 347.

When it was known that Louis XVIII.

was to be restored to the throne of France, a report was circulated that the Duke of Clarence (afterwards William IV.) would take the command of the vessel which was to convey the king to Calais. The people of that town were in a fever of expectation, and having decided to sing _G.o.d save the King_ in honour of their English visitor, they thought that it would be an additional compliment if they supplemented it with an entirely new verse, which ran as follows:--

''G.o.d save n.o.ble Clarnce, Who brings our King to France, G.o.d save Clarnce; He maintains the glor Of the British nav, Oh G.o.d, make him happ, G.o.d save Clarnce.''[16]

[16] _Ibid_., iv. 131.

In continuation of the story, it may be said that the Duke did not go to Calais,

and that therefore the anthem was not sung.

The composer of this strange verse succeeded in making pretty fair English, even if his rhymes were somewhat deficient in correctness. This was not the case with a rather famous inscription made by a Frenchman. Monsieur Girardin, who inscribed a stone at Ermenonville in memory of our once famous poet Shenstone, was not stupid, but rather preternaturally clever. This inscription is above all praise for the remarkable manner in which the rhymes appeal to the eye instead of the ear; and moreover it shows how world-famous was that charming garden at Leasowes, near Halesowen, which is now only remembered by the few:--

''This plain stone To William Shenstone.

In his writings he display's A mind natural.

At Leasowes he laid Arcadian greens rural.''

Dr. Moore, having on a certain occasion excused himself to a Frenchman for using

an expression which he feared was not French, received the reply, ''Bon monsieur, mais il mrite bien de l'tre.'' Of these lines it is impossible to paraphrase this polite answer, for we cannot say that they deserve to be English.