Mr. Punch with The Children - BestLightNovel.com
You’re reading novel Mr. Punch with The Children Part 7 online at BestLightNovel.com. Please use the follow button to get notification about the latest chapter next time when you visit BestLightNovel.com. Use F11 button to read novel in full-screen(PC only). Drop by anytime you want to read free – fast – latest novel. It’s great if you could leave a comment, share your opinion about the new chapters, new novel with others on the internet. We’ll do our best to bring you the finest, latest novel everyday. Enjoy
PHYSICS.--"Now, George, before you go and play, are you quite sure you know the lesson Professor Borax gave you to learn?"
"O, yes, mamma!"
"Well, now, what causes heat without light?"
"Pickles!"
_Mother._ Well, Dorothy, would you like your egg poached or boiled?
_Dorothy_ (_after weighing the question_). Which is the most, mother?
[Ill.u.s.tration: THE ADVANTAGES OF EDUCATION
_Small Boy._ "Look 'ere, Mawrd! I reckon the chap as keeps this shop ain't bin to school lately; 'e spells '_'all_' with a _haitch_!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "GETTING ON."
"Well, Tommy, how are you getting on at school?"
"First-rate. I ain't doing so well as some of the other boys, though I can stand on my head; but I have to put my feet against the wall. I want to do it without the wall at all!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: LAYING DOWN THE LAW.--
_Lady_ (_entertaining friend's little girl_). "Do you take sugar, darling?"
_The Darling._ "Yes, please."
_Lady._ "How many lumps?"
_The Darling._ "Oh, about seven; and when I'm out to tea I start with cake."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Tommy._ "I say, Elsie, if you like, I'll come and see you every day while you are ill."]
"A SOFT ANSWER," &c.--_Mamma_. You are very naughty children, and I am extremely dis-satisfied with you all!
_Tommy._ That _is_ a pity, mamma! We're all so thoroughly satisfied with _you_, you know!
COMPREHENSIVE.--_Preceptor._ Now, can any of you tell me anything remarkable in the life of Moses?
_Boy._ Yes, sir. He was the only man who broke all the commandments at once!
[Ill.u.s.tration: A BARGAIN.
"I say, Bobby, just give us a shove with this 'ere parcel on to this 'ere truck, and next time yer runs me in, _I'll go quiet_!"]
LITTLE MISS LOGIC.--_Little Dot_ (_to Eminent Professor of Chemistry_).
Are you a chemist?
_Eminent Professor._ Yes, my dear.
_L. D._ Have you got a shop with lovely large, coloured bottles in the window?
_E. P._ No, my dear; I don't keep a shop.
_L. D._ Don't you? Then I suppose you don't sell Jones's Jubilee Cough Jujubes?
_E. P._ No, my dear, I certainly do not.
_L. D._ (_decidedly_). I don't think I ought to talk to you any more.
You can't be a respectable chemist.
_E. P._ Why not, my dear?
_L. D._ 'Cos it says on the box, "Sold by all _respectable_ chemists."
AT THE SCHOOL TREAT.--_Lady Helper_ (_to Small Boy_). Will you have some more bread-and-b.u.t.ter?
_Small Boy._ No fear, when there's kike about.
_Lady Helper_ (_trying to be kind_). Cake, certainly! Will you have plum or seed?
_Small Boy._ Plum, in course. D'ye tike me for a canary?
[Ill.u.s.tration: A QUESTION OF HEREDITY
