The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts Part 10

_Peggy._ I thought you, were out in the snow!

_Bill._ In the SNOW.

_Peggy._ Why, you see--

_Bill._ Snow in the middle of July?

_Peggy._ Why, you see, dear, Will is writing a play, and the play is supposed to be in winter, and he's got you in the snow.

_Bill (in excitement). Me? Me_ in Will's play!

_Peggy._ Yes.

_Bill._ Oh, say! What's he doin' to me?

_Peggy._ I'll tell you all about it when he's finished.

_Bill._ Say! I got to see that play!

_Peggy._ Oh, surely!

_Bill (seriously)._ Suppose I don't like what he's done to me!

_Peggy (to Will, who appears Left, wiping a dish)._ Another critic, Will! (_to Bill_) Now you must let us alone. Climb out, dear, and don't disturb us again until we're done.

_Bill._ All right. I'll hold my breath (_climbs out_).

_Will._ Well, what do you think of it?

_Peggy._ Let's go on; I want to see more. (_They sit at the desk._)

_Will._ The next is the interior of the restaurant. You know just how it looks--the one down our street. I've got to use two more characters from real life. First, that big Irish policeman on our beat. I must talk to him some more and make sure I've got his dialect right.

_Peggy._ You never would have talked to him at all, if I hadn't put you up to it!

_Will._ Then, there's the restaurant keeper. For him I took Schmidt, our grocer.

_Peggy._ You _have_ to talk to Schmidt--because we can't pay his bills!

_Will._ I see him sitting at the cas.h.i.+er's desk, reading a paper.

_(Interior of restaurant, with Schmidt.)_ It's nearly midnight, you see, and there's only one customer. _(Full light on Play-play. Peggy and Will make quick secret exit.)_

_Schmidt._ Vell, dis is vun bad night for business! _(Customer grunts, having mouth full.)_ I tink ve have too much snow already dis vinter! _(Customer grunts again.)_ You have some dessert, sir?

Vere is dot vaitress hey? _(Calls.)_ Hey, you! Belle!

_Belle (off Left)._ Yes, sir!

_Schmidt._ Vy you don't stay in de room by de customers? Hey?

_Belle (enters, evidently weak and ill, supports herself by the chair)._ I--I was busy, sir.

_Schmidt._ Vell, you stay busy by de customers!

_Jack (enters from street, hesitating)._ I beg pardon--

_Schmidt._ Hey?

_Jack._ Can I get something to eat?

_Schmidt._ Vy not?

_Jack._ It's late.

_Schmidt._ Ve close by midnight.

_Jack. (hesitates again, looks at clock, then goes to table. Belle brings napkin, etc., mechanically. He looks at card)._ I'll have a beef-stew. _(Hesitates.)_ I think I'll have a double order.

_Belle._ Yes, sir.

_Jack._ And a cup of coffee.

_Belle._ Yes, sir. _(Goes Left feebly. Customer rises, pays check and exit. Belle brings order, and Jack begins to eat voraciously.

Suddenly Belle staggers and catches at a chair. He starts.)_

_Jack._ Why, you're ill!

_Belle (faintly)._ No, sir! No!

_Jack._ But you are!

_Belle (gazing in terror at Schmidt, who is reading)._ Ss.h.!.+ Mr.

Schmidt will hear you.

_Jack (hesitates, then begins to eat again, but keeping an eye on Belle, who makes desperate efforts to keep steady)._

_Schmidt (looks up from paper, gazes through window and rises)._ Vat for a night for business! _(Goes Left, yawning; exit.)_

_Jack (still eating rapidly)._ You _have_ to work?

_Belle_. Of course!

_Jack_. Have you no friends--no people?

_Belle_ (_hesitates_). I'm not supposed to talk to customers.

_Jack_. But I'm asking you questions.

_Belle_ (_gazing nervously Left_). Yes, but I mustn't talk. (_She clutches chair_.)