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Su Yue and his profound implied meanings stole the limelight here, so do their sibling interactions~ ❤
Countdown: 4
Chapter 45: Unt.i.tled Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality~In November, the entertainment circle's most eye-catching and attention-drawing event, the Pearl Film Festival had finally begun.
《Heart-Pounding Excitement》had been nominated for seven of the grand awards and so had entered the film festival with extraordinary momentum and success. Moreover, with Director Lu Xi setting the record as the youngest director to have ever had box office sales of 100 million, he was thus acclaimed as the spearhead of the next generation's directors. Therefore, in comparison to some of the previous generation of directors, he seemed particularly outstanding.
Due to the filming of《Sunflower》, Lu Xi did not partic.i.p.ate at the beginning of the film festival. Therefore, Su Jin had gone a few times with a roommate.
The Pearl Award Ceremony had been set for the last day of November and as one of the nominees, Director Lu would naturally receive an invitation. On the very day upon receiving it, he sent out a request for his own young lady as his accompaniment too.
Su Jin had happily agreed.
The filming for《Sunflower》was nearing the end and in the last few episodes of the drama's events, there were several extremely severe interpersonal disputes and disagreement. Therefore, at this point, Su Jin had increasingly become a regular member of the production team. On one hand, she had wanted to carry things through and see her very own work being materialized little by little before her very eyes till the very end. But, on the other hand, upon her very invitation, she had agreed with Mu Qing, who had been the representative of the entire production team, to grace the set with her presence. After all, the latest drama sequence had been difficult to shoot and along with it, the director's temper/mood had flared up considerably too. As the eldest lady of the Su family was the greatest and best foil, it was inevitable that almost all of the production team members longed for her to be there on set all the time.
On the eve of the 29th of November, due to the need for the two of them to attend the award ceremony, the production crew had ended the shoot early. Due to her accompanying Lu Xi, leaving home early and returning home late these past few days, Su Jin who had an extremely unstructured lifestyle as of late could finally return home before nine in the evening.
As for Xiyue's 4th year of university undergraduate life, she had finally entered into her interns.h.i.+p. For this young lady who had been independent ever since she was young, she had chosen to live in the company provided accommodations and for the most part, had only returned home during the weekends or on instances where there were large functions such as evening soirees. As for her parents, just a while ago, her father had given complete control over the company to her big brother; hence, while he had even euphemistically called it as going out for a spin, he had actually taken her mom on a trip. So with that, they had not been back home for close to a month and in such a large villa, the only people now residing in it were the two siblings, Su Jin and Su Yue.
Amidst all this, lately Su Jin had been leaving early and returning home late and everything at the company on Su Yue's end seemed to have been on the right track, therefore, he had originally thought that he could finally become somewhat a little idle too. Yet, unexpectedly, Father Su had just thrown over all the matters about absorbing Zhao clan's company into their own to him. Consequently, he was once more busy from dusk till dawn.
Returning home at this time, Su Jin had initially thought that she would be alone, yet to her surprise, she had b.u.mped into her own brother who was admiring the moon by his lonesome on the very same balcony on the second floor.
What could be the matter? Su Jin blinked and she pondered to herself, she would not even mention how harried he had been lately, still speaking of today- was it not Ming Xuan Jiejie's birthday? Early this morning, she had even sent a message to her to wish her a joyous birthday… Could she have recalled the wrong date?
As her thoughts circled around in her head once, she stepped forward and called out, "Gege!"
"Xiao Jin?" Su Yue turned his head and seemed a little startled to see the girl behind him, "you seem to have returned rather early today?"
"Mm, that's right." Without even waiting for Su Jin's reply, he had responded in reply to his own questioning, "tomorrow is the award ceremony for the Pearl Film Festival, you too should have taken some time off."
"Ge…" As she moved a few more steps forward, a faint scent of alcohol wafted across her senses and she frowned, "have you been drinking?"
"Just a little." Su Yue smiled ruefully and nodded his head.
Su Jin then took a long and careful measure of the man before her and observed the peaceful expression on his face; his gaze clear and lucid without any indicators of him being drunk. Only with this, were her fears a.s.suaged.
"Were you drinking with Ming Xuan jiejie?" As her furrowed brows cleared, she inquisitively asked, "isn't today her birthday? Why have you returned home this early?"
"Ming Xuan… …" As he heard this name, it was visibly clear that Su Yue had been a little disconcerted before he dipped his head, "that's right. Today is her birthday."
Su Jin's eyebrows raised slightly as the apparent implications in that gaze of his were plain to see.
Since it was a birthday, why did he come home instead of taking the opportunity to accompany his girlfriend?
"Do you know why I was drinking earlier?" Su Yue abruptly questioned as he turned and leaned his body against the railing.
"Wasn't it for Ming Xuan jiejie in celebration of her birthday?"
"No." Lifting his head up to look at the numerous stars in the wide sky, "it was an indulgence in reminiscence."
An indulgence in reminiscence?
Su Jin was rather baffled.
"I proposed."
Su Yue did not pay heed to her bafflement and still remained in the same position while gazing at the starry sky, and continued.
Rather, Su Jin had yet to show her happiness for him in a timely fas.h.i.+on before she heard the very next statement that he spoke.
"She rejected it."
"What?" At this, Su Jin was utterly flummoxed.
From the very beginning, these two people had good feelings for each, so how did it come to this?
"Gege," Without bothering to think of the reason, she carefully pulled on Su Yue's sleeve, "are you alright?"
"I'm fine." As Su Yue straightened himself up, he looked upon the young lady who had been looking at him with a face full of worry, and a curl appeared on his lips in response.
Was he truly alright? Su Jin took a second glance at him as she stared at the man before her; dressed on his lanky figure, his white dress s.h.i.+rt was starchy straight and folded nearly to his elbow while his inky black eyes were bright and lucid.
It seemed like…. Truly, he did not show any signs of upset.
So much so that all over him, it seemed completely visible that his entire demeanour had become carefree, content and comfortable.
Su Jin's expression had clouded over as she revealed an increasingly visible expression of bewilderment.
"Truthfully, when Ming Xuan rejected me, I wasn't surprised at all." Su Yue noticed that gaze filled with misgivings in his own little sister's eyes and reached out to rub her head.
"Why?" Su Jin had finally found that her voice had returned to her as she asked with furrowed brows.
"Mm……" Su Yue pondered for a bit as he spoke, "one fine day, you went overseas for a trip and while you were leisurely walking down the streets, you got lost. Whilst eating a bowl of noodles from a small stall by the road, you would think that those noodles were delicious. Yet when you returned once more to that place to seek out that bowl again, you find that you could not find the place you had wandered around in and moreover, could no longer find that noodle stall anymore."
"Perhaps at first, you would just feel like it was a pity. Yet afterwards, from time to time, you would recall that bowl of noodles from your memories and until the very end, you might feel that you would never be able to eat any bowl of noodles that was as delicious as the one from that moment in time."
"Yet out of the blue, you chanced upon that noodle stall once more and therefore, you felt that this must have been a kindness bestowed upon you from the heavens and happily entered to order that bowl of noodles that had always lingered in your memories. Only, until after you had taken a bite, then would you realise–"
"That its taste had been starkly different from the one you had reminisced from your memories."
Su Yue's voice was extremely soothing and had faint hints of gentility and warmth.
Su Jin was stunned for a long while.
"So…… Is Ming Xuan jiejie that bowl of noodles?" As her gaze s.h.i.+fted to look up at him, her head soon shook in response, "no, for you and Ming Xuan jiejie, you both were each other's bowl of noodles that you are talking about."
"That's right." Su Yue nodded as his gaze drifted far away.
"Ming Xuan and I were both that bowl of noodles. We had met at the best moments of our lives and yet during those youthful years of our mutually stirring feelings[1], under our unattainable wants that were in contrast with the stark reality, we then engraved each other into our hearts as an ideal that we both mutually loved."
[1] 春心萌动 (chūn xīn méng dòng) – This phrase describes the feelings that most boys and girls feel in their teens, a sort of feeling that one would feel for their first love. This sort of feeling is described as that faintly hazy and indiscernible desire that one has for the person in their hearts; with the want of chasing and the need to get closer and a mental state of being attracted whilst getting close and wanting to explore.
"Was I wrong then?" Su Jin bit her lip, "had I not thought of acting as the matchmaker between the two of you, then……"
"No." Su Yue shook his head, "if we had never tried to hold onto what we could never obtain between us, then we would have been each other's obsession; even if we had unexpectedly attained mutual love between each other, then the ideal selves that we had in our hearts of each other would disappear too. Oh," his lips hooked into a light curl, "to use a cliché from a novel to explain it, it would probably be… …with an unclouded mental state, everything will become clear?[2]"
[2] 心境通明 (xīn jìng tōng míng) – Su Yue implies here a fact that human hearts (like his) are so fickle and waver easily; just like a mirror – similar to a cliche/trope in romance novels when a character changes love interest. The imagery and metaphor of the mirror here is part of a subtle reference in Chinese culture called 'Platform Sutra of the Sixth Patriarch' and refers to one verse in the hymn in the book, 'the body is the Bodhi tree, the heart is a mirror that provides clarity and insight, one most constantly polish it in diligence so that there will not be dust (problems) upon it.' A modern interpretation of this would be: one's heart is like a mirror – always changing according to what it reflects and could easily be clouded.
Su Jin had burst into laughter due to this phrase of his.
“With an unclouded mental state, everything will become clear……” She shot him a look, “are you planning to become an immortal or planning to ascend to the heavens?”
Seeing her laugh, Su Yue did not seem to mind her teasing and merely pinched her cheeks with a chuckle, "alright, alright. Don't be upset already, I'm fine."
"It's good that you're fine." Su Jin stepped back as she tried to free herself from his hand that had been pinching her cheek.
Actually, it was not that she was upset, only…… Her thoughts were somewhat in a mess.
"That day……" Su Jin suddenly raised her head up to ask, "were you trying to speak to me?"
"What?" Su Yue was startled.
"In this world, the thing that would always be the hardest to discern: was the heart of a person." Su Jin parroted with a stern expression on her face.
"Oh, this," Su Yue nodded, "I was."
"That day, when you had asked me about the progress between Ming Xuan and myself, I was actually thinking about how to reply to you about it; except you, this little girl had actually gone to sleep already just like a little pig."
"So you lied to me and said I had been dreaming then?" Su Jin was huffily indignant and rolled her eyes at Su Yue.
"I had initially wanted to tease you a little." Receiving his younger sister's look, Su Yue rubbed his nose and glanced away, "who knew that you would have so easily believed me."
So easily believed him……
Su Jin blinked and suddenly recalled the reason why she had so easily believed him.
"Ge." She reclined her body back as she leaned against the balcony railing like him, looking at him, "that night at the evening soiree, Lu Xi told me something too."
"Mm?"
"In this world, the thing that would always be the hardest to discern: was the heart of a person." Su Jin raised her head, "this was how he said it too."
Lu Xi……
Su Yue had been rather disconcerted, he had not seen Lu Xi in a long time now. Previously with Xue Kai's matter, although he (Lu Xi) had been somewhat strange, still at the very end, he did not pursue the matter. After all, everyone had their own secrets, especially children who had come from those huge aristocratic families. As Xiao Jin's husband-to-be, as long as he did not harm Xiao Jin, then he too would not probe deeper.
However……
"Why would he say this?" Su Yue frowned.
"I had asked him about Xue Kai and Ji Min- what would have happened in the end between them."
So they had been talking about that couple. Su Yue relaxed and sighed, "Lu Xi is a person who is truly discerning."
"Both of you have said that a person's heart was hard to comprehend," Su Jin lowered her glance, "Gege, so wouldn't you say that in this world, would all kinds of love be……"
Would be…?
They would all wane, they would all disappear; because between the reality and the person in your mental imagery, in the very end, to some extent, they would still differ.
"Xiao Jin." Su Yue reached out to wrap an arm around the girl's shoulder, "it isn't the same."
"Speaking of which, I am unlike Lu Xi. The things that he can see clearly, I would have to wait till after the matter has happened and come to a realisation in the aftermath."
Su Jin then smoothly leaned against her brother's shoulder and listened to him speak from the crown of her head.
"In this world, there are no two exactly identical leaves from a tree, so in kind, there is no love that is exactly the same as the other. Every person's love is uniquely distinct, regardless if it is joyful or sorrowful, regardless of all of these different kinds of circ.u.mstances of sourness, sweetness, bitterness or spice to them; it all needs to be experienced by yourself. When Gege told you about how a person's heart was hard to predict, it was only in hopes that you would have made some precautions; but, it was not in hopes that it would become a reason for you to hold back from moving forward with your life."
Su Yue's voice had become gentle and the light and shallow aroma of alcohol that wafted from his body lingered at her nose.'
Su Jin lightly closed her eyes.
Every sentence that Gege had said threaded through her heart.
It was only in hopes that you would have made some precautions; but, it was not in hopes that it would become a reason for you to hold back from moving forward with your life……
However.
In this world, the thing that would always be the hardest to discern; it would always be the heart of a person.
Translated by Irisu
Edited by Ely
TLC-ed by Minopaz