Jokes Book Collection Part Viii Part 1

PART VIII.

TEACHER: Why are you late?

Johnny: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

Teacher : "h.e.l.lo boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible."

Johnny: One of the 20 Students: "Ok Sir, You please take out all the toothpastes and put back it into the tube again."

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?

Johnny: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: George can you count up to 5?

Johnny:counts up to 5 slowly using his Fingers.

TEACHER: Good, now can you count any higher?

Johnny:climbs up on his chair and counts five again using his fingers.

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?

Johnny:"K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong Johnny:Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

Johnny:"HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

Johnny:Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: Johnny go to the map and find North America.

Johnny: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, cla.s.s, who discovered America?

CLa.s.s: Johnny!

TEACHER: Johnny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

Johnny: Me!

TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?

Johnny: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

Johnny: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?

Johnny:Your name on this card(report card).

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.

Johnny: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

Johnny: Don't bite any.

TEACHER:Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".

Johnny: I is...

TEACHER: No, Johnny. Always say, "I am."

Johnny:All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?

Johnny: You said it was my lunch money.

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

Johnny: Big hands!

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."

Johnny: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

Father : No. Why do you ask that?

Johnny:Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!

Johnny:Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

Ed: What time is it when Dracula goes to the dentist?

Johnny: I don't know.

Ed: Tooth hurty(2:30) Ed: My uncle and I went on a safari to Africa last year.

Johnny:Oh, yeah? How did it go?

Ed: We spotted a leopard.

John: Don't be silly. They're born that way!

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?

Johnny:Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?

Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Johnny:That's why I say she's no good!

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"

Johnny:A cow and a bull are grazing in the field Teacher : How ?

Student : Ladies first.

TEACHER: Why are you late?

Johnny: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

Teacher : "h.e.l.lo boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible."

Johnny: One of the 20 Students: "Ok Sir, You please take out all the toothpastes and put back it into the tube again."

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?

Johnny: You told me to do it without using tables!