Jokes Book Collection Part Ix Part 10

Capital.

There was a blonde, a redhead and a brunette. The redhead and the brunette were always making fun of the blonde saying how dumb she was.

So, the blonde decided to prove the other two wrong by learning the capitals of every country in the world.

The next time they were together, the redhead and the brunette started to make fun of the blonde, who then told them that she knew the capitals of every country in the world.

The redhead said "Oh yeah, what's the capital of England?" The blonde replied "E".

Final Examination.

The blonde reports for his University final examination that consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet, Y for Heads and N for Tails.

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the cla.s.s is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

I finished the exam in half an hour. But," he says, "I'm not going to finish rechecking my answers!"

Head & Shoulders.

A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator.

On the third floor a man gets on who's perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice b.u.t.t, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff.

The man gets off on the 5th floor.

Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Someone should give him Head & Shoulders."

To which the blonde replies, "How do you give Shoulders?"

Looks Like s.e.m.e.n.

Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator.

The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: " OOOOOhhh that looks like s.e.m.e.n." She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says "It feels like s.e.m.e.n."

The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says "It smells like s.e.m.e.n."

The blonde reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, "It doesn't taste like anyone in this building?"

Mailbox in my Car.

Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."

Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"

Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."

Psychiatrist: "Uhh...how's that working?"

Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."

Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?"

Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm driving around my zip code keeps changing."

NASA Experiment.

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead that were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets.

First they called the brunette in and asked her a question. "If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?

After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."

They said, "Well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.

Next the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question.

In reply she said, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings."

They also said, "thank you", and that they would get back to her.

Next the blonde entered the room and they asked her the same question that they asked the brunette and the redhead.

"What planet would you like to go to?"

She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."

The people from NASA replied, "Why? don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"

The blonde smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night."

Off Men for Life.

A young Blonde was telling her friend at a c.o.c.ktail party that she was off men for life.

"They lie, cheat, and they are no good. From now on, when I want s.e.x I'll use my vibrator."

"But what if the batteries run out? What will you do?" asked the friend.

"Same as I do with my boy friend, I'll fake the o.r.g.a.s.m."

Painting Blonde.

This blonde was sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So she made up her mind that she would show her husband that blondes really are smart. One day, while he was at work, she purchased a can of paint and decided to repaint the living room.

Her husband arrived home at 5:30 and smelled the distinctive odor of paint. He walked into the living room and found his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He observed that she was wearing a ski jacket as well as a fur coat.

He went over to her and asked if she was OK. She acknowledged that she was.

He then asked what she was doing. She replied that she had set out to prove to him that not all blondes are dumb and, to do so, she had elected to paint the living room.

He then asked why she was wearing both a ski jacket and a fur coat.