Memoirs of Margaret Fuller Ossoli Volume II Part 14

Of her own social habits she writes:--

'It is not well to keep entirely apart from the stream of common life; so, though I never go out when busy, nor keep late hours, I find it pleasanter and better to enter somewhat into society. I thus meet with many entertaining acquaintance, and some friends. I can never, indeed, expect, in America, or in this world, to form relations with n.o.bler persons than I have already known; nor can I put my heart into these new ties as into the old ones, though probably it would still respond to commanding excellence. But my present circle satisfies my wants. As to what is called "good society," I am wholly indifferent. I know several women, whom I like very much, and yet more men. I hear good music, which answers my social desires better than any other intercourse can; and I love four or five interesting children, in whom I always find more genuine sympathy than in their elders.'

Of the impression produced by Margaret on those who were but slightly acquainted with her, some notion may be formed from the following sketch:--

"In general society, she commanded respect rather than admiration All persons were curious to see her, and in full rooms her fine head and spiritual expression at once marked her out from the crowd; but the most were repelled by what seemed conceit, pedantry, and a harsh spirit of criticism, while, on her part, she appeared to regard those around her as frivolous, superficial, and conventional. Indeed, I must frankly confess, that we did not meet in pleasant relations, except now and then, when the lifting of a veil, as it were, revealed for a moment the true life of each. Yet I was fond of looking at her from a distance, and defending her when silly people were inclined to cavil at her want of feminine graces.

Then I would say, 'I would like to be an artist now, that I might paint, not the care-worn countenance and the uneasy air of one seemingly out of harmony with the scene about her, but the soul that sometimes looks out from under those large lids.

Michel Angelo would have made her a Sibyl.' I remember I was surprised to find her height no greater; for her writings had always given me an impression of magnitude. Thus I studied though I avoided her, admitting, the while, proudly and joyously, that she was a woman to reverence. A trifling incident, however, gave me the key to much in her character, of which, before, I had not dreamed. It was one evening, after a Valentine party, where Frances Osgood, Margaret Fuller, and other literary ladies, had attracted some attention, that, as we were in the dressing-room preparing to go home, I heard Margaret sigh deeply. Surprised and moved, I said, 'Why?'--'Alone, as usual,' was her pathetic answer, followed by a few sweet, womanly remarks, touching as they were beautiful. Often, after, I found myself recalling her look and tone, with tears in my eyes; for before I had regarded her as a being cold, and abstracted, if not scornful."

Cold, abstracted, and scornful! About this very time it was that Margaret wrote in her journal:--

'Father, let me not injure my fellows during this period of repression. I feel that when we meet my tones are not so sweet as I would have them. O, let me not wound! I, who know so well how wounds can burn and ache, should not inflict them. Let my touch be light and gentle. Let me keep myself uninvaded, but let me not fail to be kind and tender, when need is. Yet I would not a.s.sume an overstrained poetic magnanimity. Help me to do just right, and no more. O, make truth profound and simple in me!'

Again:--

'The heart bleeds,--faith almost gives way, to see man's seventy years of chrysalis. Is it not too long? Enthusiasm must struggle fiercely to burn clear amid these fogs. In what little, low, dark cells of care and prejudice, without one soaring thought or melodious fancy, do poor mortals--well-intentioned enough, and with religious aspiration too--forever creep. And yet the sun sets to-day as gloriously bright as ever it did on the temples of Athens, and the evening star rises as heavenly pure as it rose on the eye of Dante. O, Father! help me to free my fellows from the conventional bonds whereby their sight is holden. By purity and freedom let me teach them justice.'

And yet again:--

'There comes a consciousness that I have no real hold on life,--no real, permanent connection with any soul. I seem a wandering Intelligence, driven from spot to spot, that I may learn all secrets, and fulfil a circle of knowledge. This thought envelopes me as a cold atmosphere. I 'do not see how I shall go through this destiny. I can, if it is mine; but I do not feel that I can.'

Casual observers mistook Margaret's lofty idealism for personal pride; but thus speaks one who really knew her:--"You come like one of the great powers of nature, harmonizing with all beauty of the soul or of the earth. You cannot be discordant with anything that is true and deep. I thank G.o.d for the n.o.ble privilege of being recognized by so large, tender, and radiant a soul as thine."

EUROPE.

LETTERS

"I go to prove my soul.

I see my way, as birds their trackless way.

In some time, G.o.d's good time, I shall arrive He guides me and the bird. In his good time!"

BROWNING.

"One, who, if He be called upon to face Some awful moment, to which Heaven has joined Great issues, good or bad for human kind, Is happy as a lover, and attired With sudden brightness, like a man inspired; And, through the heat of conflict, keeps the law In calmness made, and sees what he foresaw."

WORDSWORTH.

"Italia! Italia! O tu cui feo la sorte Dono infelice di bellezza, ond' hai Funesta dote d' infiniti guai, Che in fronte scritti per gran doglia porte.

Deh, fossi tu men bella, almen piu forte!"

FILICAJA.

"Oh, not to guess it at the first.

But I did guess it,--that is, I divined, Felt by an instinct how it was;--why else Should I p.r.o.nounce you free from all that heap Of sins, which had been irredeemable?

I felt they were not yours."

BROWNING.

"Nests there are many of this very year, Many the nests are, which the winds shall shake, The rains run through and other birds beat down Yours, O Aspasia! rests against the temple Of heavenly love, and, thence inviolate, It shall not fall this winter, nor the next."

LANDOR.

"Lift up your heart upon the knees of G.o.d, Losing yourself, your smallness and your darkness In His great light, who fills and moves the world, Who hath alone the quiet of perfect motion."

STERLING.

VIII.

EUROPE

[It has been judged best to let Margaret herself tell the story of her travels. In the spring of 1846, her valued friends, Marcus Spring and lady, of New York, had decided to make a tour in Europe, with their son, and they invited Miss Fuller to accompany them. An arrangement was soon made on such terms as she could accept, and the party sailed from Boston in the "Cambria," on the first of August. The following narrative is made up of letters addressed by her to various correspondents. Some extracts, describing distinguished persons whom she saw, have been borrowed from her letters to the New York Tribune.]

TO MRS. MARGARET FULLER.

_Liverpool, Aug_. 16, 1846.

My dear Mother:--

The last two days at sea pa.s.sed well enough, as a number of agreeable persons were introduced to me, and there were several whom I knew before. I enjoyed nothing on the sea; the excessively bracing air so affected me that I could not bear to look at it. The sight of land delighted me. The tall crags, with their breakers and circling sea-birds; then the green fields, how glad! We had a very fine day to come ash.o.r.e, and made the shortest pa.s.sage ever known. The stewardess said, "Any one who complained this time tempted the Almighty." I did not complain, but I could hardly have borne another day. I had no appet.i.te; but am now making up for all deficiencies, and feel already a renovation beginning from the voyage; and, still more, from freedom and entire change of scene.

We came here Wednesday, at noon; next day we went to Manchester; the following day to Chester; returning here Sat.u.r.day evening.

On Sunday we went to hear James Martineau; were introduced to him, and other leading persons. The next day and evening I pa.s.sed in the society of very pleasant people, who have made every exertion to give me the means of seeing and learning; but they have used up all my strength.

LONDON.

TO C.S.