The Funny Philosophers Part 34

"He did worse than that," said Rosabel.

"What was it?" said Toney.

"Why," said Rosabel, "some pious people were engaged in holding a prayer-meeting, and he tied a bundle of firecrackers behind an unlucky cur and applied a torch."

"Oh, I recollect!" said Toney, laughing. "The demented dog ran into the midst of the meeting, carrying terror and confusion wherever he went.

The worthy minister said that he saw the hand of Satan in this trick; and ever since that time Barney has been supposed, by good people, to act by the instigation of that great designer of mischief."

"That boy will play some trick on those knights," said the widow.

"Why, mother," said Rosabel, "how can he? They have him right before their eyes."

"Never mind," said the widow. "Mark what I say. Barney will play some trick on the knights."

"Look yonder!" exclaimed Tom Seddon.

"Oh, splendid!" cried Ida.

"Who is he?" asked Rosabel.

"The governor of the State," said Toney.

"What a n.o.ble horse he is riding!" said Rosabel.

"And what a beautiful uniform he has on!" said Ida.

"Who is the fat man riding on his right?" asked Rosabel.

"The adjutant-general," said Toney.

"And these other gentlemen?" asked Ida.

"His military staff," said Toney.

The governor and his staff, in gorgeous uniforms and magnificently mounted, rode over the ground, and halting in front of the knights, who were standing in a line, each by the side of his steed, his Excellency addressed them in a brief but eloquent and impressive speech. He told them that this was a great occasion, and that the eyes of fair women and brave men were fixed upon them; and urged them to comport themselves as chivalrous and valiant knights. His Excellency, amidst loud applause, then retired to the extremity of the lists, where he gracefully sat on his horse, a few paces in advance of his staff, with the adjutant-general on his right.

The valiant champions now proceeded to mount. It devolved on Richard to make the first tilt at the ring. The Marshal blew a trumpet, and exclaimed, in a loud voice, "_Preux chevaliers! faites vous devoirs!_"

Richard leveled his pole and was about to make an impetuous charge at the ring, when Old Whitey began to kick up behind, and becoming unmanageable, ran off in the direction of the governor and his staff.

Richard still held his pole horizontally, and had not his Excellency skillfully handled his horse, he would have been hurled from his saddle.

As it was, the unfortunate adjutant-general received the shock. The end of the pole struck him fair on the breast, and down he went in the dust; for who could withstand the terrible charge of Richard the Lion-hearted?

Having unhorsed the adjutant-general, on went the indomitable Richard, scattering the crowds, until he suddenly left the lists, and was seen das.h.i.+ng down the road, with his pole still poised, and his horse kicking up his heels and casting clouds of dust behind him.

Just then Ida uttered a shriek as Love was thrown over the head of his horse and fell at her feet.

"Pick Love up!" exclaimed the widow.

"Oh--oh--oh, mercy!" screamed Rosabel, as Bliss came charging towards her; and his horse, rearing and kicking, hurled the rider over his head and almost deposited Bliss in the young lady's lap.

"Look out for Dove, ladies!" exclaimed Toney, as Dove took flight from the back of his horse and fell at the feet of the fair candidates for the crown.

"Gracious heavens! look yonder!" cried the widow.

All eyes were turned in the direction indicated.

The other knights, emulating the example of their ill.u.s.trious leader, were charging the governor's staff. The Knight of Cunopolis headed the onset; and after dismounting two captains and one colonel, the three valorous knights, with an amazing clatter of hoofs, went off after Richard the Lion-hearted.

His Excellency was astounded at this novel manner of conducting a tournament; but, being admirably mounted and fond of excitement, he galloped off with a portion of his staff in pursuit of the fugitive knights. About a mile on the road his horse leaped over Ivanhoe, who had sought repose on the bosom of his mother earth. Farther on the valorous Knight of Glenbetsy was seen floundering among the frogs in a pond of water. They now came in sight of the Knight of Cunopolis, who was going along at a furious speed, still carrying his pole in his hand, when down went his horse in a gully. Leaving one of his staff to a.s.sist the fallen hero, on went his Excellency in pursuit of Richard the Lion-hearted.

Reaching the top of an eminence, he beheld Richard on his white charger riding along at a terrific speed. His Excellency, who was a famous fox-hunter, now stood in his stirrups and shouted, "Tallyho! tallyho!"

and then applied whip and spur with redoubled vigor.

They soon crossed a stream which formed the boundary of two counties.

Richard was now hidden from their view by an angle in the road; and when their panting and foam-covered horses had galloped another mile, they beheld him lying on the ground by the side of his gallant charger. Old Whitey had fallen, thoroughly exhausted; and Richard, dismounted at last, now lay in the road, gasping for breath, but still grasping his long pole.

When he had been restored to consciousness, his Excellency complimented him on his admirable horsemans.h.i.+p, and said that the chase had afforded him fully as much enjoyment as he had ever found in the most exciting fox-hunt.

In the afternoon of the same day, as Rosabel and Ida were seated on the porch of the Widow Wild's mansion, in company with Toney and Tom, they beheld, on the road leading to Mapleton, a procession of people on horseback following a carriage, in which were seated a Caucasian and an African.

"What is that?" said Rosabel. "It looks like a funeral."

"Nothing like a funeral," said Toney, who had applied an opera-gla.s.s to his eye.

"What can it be?" asked Rosabel.

"A triumphal procession in honor of Richard Plantagenet," said Toney.

"The governor and his staff are conducting him back to the town.

Richard's chariot is driven by an Ethiopian, and another African is leading his white charger, which seems much exhausted."

"I do wonder what made those horses run away with the knights?" said Rosabel.

"We have made the discovery," said the widow, coming on the porch in company with the Professor. "It was just as I had predicted. That Barney Bates was at the bottom of the mischief."

"What did he do?" asked Rosabel.

"Why," said the Professor, "in antic.i.p.ation of the tournament, Barney had procured pieces of leather perforated by a number of long and sharp tacks, the points of which were carefully covered by other pieces of thinner leather, so arranged that it required the weight of the rider to cause the tacks to pierce through. Bates had seduced the other boys from their allegiance to their respective knights, and under each saddle was one of these cruel instruments of torture, ready to give the steed great agony as soon as the valiant knight had mounted."

"And that caused the horses to kick up and run off?" said Ida.

"That was undoubtedly the cause of their extraordinary excitement," said the Professor.

"I wonder what has become of Love?" said Ida.

"He fell at your feet," said Toney.

"And Bliss?" said Rosabel.

"Bliss endeavored to bestow himself on you," said Toney.