Shakespeare Jest-Books Part 13

-- _Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye shall haue rayn._ lx.x.xii.

-- _A certayne skoler of Oxenford_ which had studied the iudicials of astronomy, _upon a tyme as he_ was rydyng by the way, came[126] by a herdman; and _he asked thys herdm_an how far it was to the next town.

Syr, quod the herd_man, it is rather_ past a mile and an half; but, sir, quod he, ye nede to ryde _apace: for ye shal h_aue a shower of rayn, or ye com thider. What, quod the skoler, _maketh ye say so_? There ys no token of rayn: for the cloudes be both fayr and clere. _By my troth_, quod the herdman, but ye shall fynd it so. The skoler then rode forth, _and it chanced_ or he had ryden half a myle forther, there fell a good showre of rayn _and[127] thys_ skoler was well washyd and wett to the skyn. The skoler then tornyd _hym backe, and_ rode to the herdman, and desyryd hym to tech him that connyng. _Nay_, quod the herdman, I wyll not tech you my connynge for nought. Then _the skoler_ profferyde hym xl shyllyngs to teche hym that connynge. The herd_man, after_ he had reseyuyd hys money, sayd thus: syr, se you not yonder _blacke_ ewe with the whyte face? Yes, quod the skoler. Suerly, quod the herdman, when she daunsith and holdeth up her tayle, ye shall haue a showre of rayn within half an howre after.[128]

By this ye may se, that the connyng of herdmen and shepardes, as touchinge alteracyons of weders, is more sure than the iudicials of astronomy.

FOOTNOTES:

[126] Orig. reads _which came_.

[127] Singer's conjectural reading is _that_; but _and_ seems to me to be the word required.

-- _Of hym that sayde: I shall haue nener a peny._ lx.x.xiii.

-- In a certayne towne, there was a rych man that lay on his deth bed at poynte of deth, whyche chargyd hys executours to dele[129] for hys soule a certayne some of money in pence, and on thys condicion chargyd them as they would answere afore G.o.d, that euery pore man that cam to them and told a trew tale shulde haue a peny, and they that said a fals thing shuld haue none; and in the dole-tyme there cam one whych sayd that G.o.d was a good man. Quod the executours: thou shalt haue a peny, for thou saist trouth. Anone came a nother and said, the deuil was a good man.

Quod the executours: there thou lyest; therefore thou shalt haue nere a peny. At laste came on[e] to the executors and said thus: ye shall gyue me nere a peny: which wordes made the executors amasyd, and toke aduysment whyther they shuld * * * *

_The end of this tale is wanting._

FOOTNOTES:

[128] See _Scoggin's Jests_(reprint 1795), p. 47.

[129] Count out.

-- _Of the husbande that sayde hys wyfe and he agreed well._ lx.x.xiv.

_Too imperfect to decypher._

-- _Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope._ lx.x.xv.

-- In the tyme of visitacyon a bysshoppe, whi_che was maryed_[130] and had gote many chyldren, prepared to questyon a preest what rule he kepte, whiche preest had a le_man_ * * * * * and by her had two or thre small chyldren. In shorte _tyme before the Bys_shoppes commynge, he prepared a rowme to hyde his _leman and children_ ouer in the rofe of his hall; and whan the bysshoppe was _come and discoursing_ with him in the same hall, hauynge x of his owne chyldren about him, _the preest_, who coude speke lytell lytyn or none, bad the bysshoppe in latyn * * * *

Comede,[131] episcope. This woman in rofe of the house, hearing _the preest say_ so, had went[132] he had called her, byddynge her: come, Ede; and _answered him_ and sayde: shall I brynge my chyldren with me also? The bysshoppe, _hearing_ this, sayde in sporte: vxor tua sicut vitis abundans in lateribus domus tuae. The preest than, halfe amasyd, answerd and sayd: filii tui sicut nouellae oliuarum in circuitu mensae tuae.

By this ye may se, that they, that have but small lernyng, som tyme speke truely unaduysed.

FOOTNOTES:

[130] These two words are not in orig. or in Singer; but they seem to be what the context requires.

-- _Of the woman that stale the pot._ lx.x.xvi.

-- On Ashe Wednesday in the mornynge, was a curate of a churche whyche had made good chere the nyght afore and sytten up late, and came to the churche to here confessyon, to whome there came a woman; and among other thynges she confessed her that she had stolen a potte. But than, because of greate watche that this preest had, he there sodenly felle aslepe; and whan this woman sawe him nat wyllynge to here her, she rose and went her waye. And anone an other woman kneled down to the same preest and began to say: Benedicite; wherwith this preest sodenly awaked, and wenynge she had ben the other woman,[133] sayd all angerly, what! arte thou nowe at Benedicite agayne? tell me, what dyddest thou whan thou haddest stolyn the potte?

FOOTNOTES:

[131] Orig. reads _Comode_.

[132] Weened.

-- _Of mayster Whyttynton dreme._[134] lx.x.xvii.

-- Sone after one maister Whyttynton had bylded a colege, on a nyght as he slepte, he dremed that he satte in his church and many folkes there also; and further he dremed that he sawe Our Lady in the same church with a glas of goodly oyntemente in her hande goynge to one askynge him what he had done for her sake; which sayd that he had sayd Our Ladyes sauter[135] euery daye: wherfore she gaue him a lytel of the oyle. And anone she wente to another. * * *

_Several lines wanting._

_he had buylded_ a great college, and was very gladde in hys mynde. _Whan that Oure Ladye cam to hym_, she asked him what he hadde suffred for her _sake, this_ questyon made him greatly abashed, because he had nothing to _answer; wherefore Our Lady_ him informed that for all the great dede of buyldynge _of a colege he must haue no parte of_ that goodly oyntemente.

_By this ye may perceue_, that to suffre for G.o.ddes sake is more _acceptable to G.o.d than to buyld or_ gyue great goodes.

FOOTNOTES:

[133] Orig. reads _and_ after _woman_.

[134] The celebrated Sir Richard Whittington. In his _If you know Not me you know No Body_, Part ii. 1606, Heywood introduces the following dialogue respecting Whittington between Dean Nowell and Old Hobson, the haberdasher of the Poultry:--

"_Dr. Now._ This Sir Richard Whittington, three times Mayor, Son to a knight, and 'prentice to a mercer, Began the library of Gray-friars in London, And his executors after him did build Whittington College, thirteen almshouses for poor men, Repair'd Saint Bartholomew's, in Smithfield, Glared the Guildhall, and built Newgate.

_Hob._ Bones a me, then, I have heard lies; For I have heard he was a scullion, And rais'd himself by venture of a cat.

_Dr. Now._ They did the more wrong to the gentleman."

[135] Psalter.