Shakespeare Jest-Books Part 26

[203] Rustic.

-- _Of the courtier that bad the boy holde his horse._ xlii.

-- A courtier on a tyme that alyghted of his horse at an Inde[204] gate sayde to a boye that stode therby: Ho, syr boye, holde my horse. The boye, as he had ben aferde, answered: O maister, this a fierce horse; is one able to holde him? Yes, quod the courtier, one may holde hym well inough. Well, quod the boye, if one be able inough, than I pray you holde hym your owne selfe.[205]

-- _Of the deceytfull scriuener._ xliii.

-- A certayne scriuener, whiche hadde but a bare lyuynge by his crafte, imagyned howe he myght gette money. So he came to a yonge man, and asked hym if he were payde x li. whiche a certayne man, that was deade, borowed and ought to paye his father in tyme paste. The yonge manne sayde there was no such duetye[206] owynge in his father's name, that he knewe of. It is of trouthe, quod the scriuener: for here is the oblygacyon therof, whiche I made my selfe. He prouoked the yonge manne so moche, that he gaue hym money for the oblygation, and before the mayre he required the duetie. His sonne, that was named to be dettour, sayde playnely, that his father neuer borowed money: for if he had, it wolde appere by his bokes, after the marchantes' maner. And forth with he went to the scriuener and sayde to him, that he was a false man to write a thing that neuer was done. Sonne, sayde the scriuener, thou wotteste nat what was done that tyme: whan thy father borowed that somme of money, thou were nat borne: but he payde it agayne within thre monthes after, I made the quittance therof my selfe: wherby thy father is discharged. So the yonge man was faine to gyue hym money for the quittaunce. And whan he had shewed the quittaunce he was discharged of that greuance. Thus by his faire fraude he sc.r.a.ped money from them bothe.

By this tale ye may se, that the children in this our tyme be very prudent to get money.

FOOTNOTES:

[204] Inn.

[205] See _Introduction_ vi.

[206] Debt.

-- _Of hym that saide he beleued his wyfe better than other, that she was chaste._ xliiii.

-- A Certayne man, whose wyfe (as the voyce wente) was nat very chaste of her bodye, was warned of his frendes to loke better to the matter. The man wente home and sharpely rebuked his wyfe, and told her betwene them bothe, what his frendes had sayde. She, knowynge that periurye was no greatter offence than aduoutry,[207] with wepynge and swerynge defended her honestie: and bare her husbande on hande, that they feyned those tales for enuye that they hadde to se them lyue so quietly. With those wordes her husbande was content and pleased. So yet an other tyme agayne, his frendes warned him of his wyfe, and badde hym rebuke and chastice her. To whome he sayd: I pray you trouble me no more with suche wordes. Telle me, whether knoweth better my wiue's fautes, you or she?

They sayde: She. And she (quod he), whom I beleue better than you all, sayth playnly, that ye lye. This was well and wysely done: For one ought nat to gyue light credence to those thinges, wherin resteth perpetuall grefe of mynde.

FOOTNOTES:

[207] Adultery. The word occurs in Bacon's Essays. In his _Essay of Empire_, the writer says:--"This kind of danger is then to be feared chiefly when the wives have plots for the raising of their own children, or else that they be _advoutresses_." Sir Simonds D'Ewes, in his account of the murder of Sir Thomas Overbury, in 1613, describes the Countess of Ess.e.x as "Somerset's _advoutress_" (_Autobiography and Correspondence of Sir Simonds D'Ewes_, ed. Halliwell, I. 74).

-- _Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea._ xlv.

-- There was a man on a tyme, which toke as moche ware of a marchaunt, as drewe to fyftie li. and riottously playde and spente the same awaye within shorte s.p.a.ce. So whanne the day of payemente came, he hadde nother[208] moneye nor ware to paye: wherfore he was arrested, and muste come before the Justyce; whan he sawe there was none other remedye, but that he shulde be constrayned eyther to pay the dette, or else to go to prison. Wherfore he went to a subtyle man of lawe, and shewed to hym his matter, and desyred of hym[209] his counsayle and helpe. What wylt thou gyue me (quod the man of lawe), if I rydde the of this dette? By my faythe, sayde the dettour, v marke: and lo, here it is redy; as sone as I am quitte, ye shall haue hit. Good inough, quod the man of lawe; but thou muste be ruled by my counsaile, and thus do. Whan thou comest before the Justice, what som euer be saye[210] vnto the, loke that thou answere to nothing, but cry bea styl: and lette me alone with the reste.

Content, quod he.

So, whan they were com before the Justice, he said to the dettour: doste thou owe this marchant this somme of money or no? Bea! quod he. What beste! (quod the Justice) answere to thy plaint, orels thou wilte be condemned. Bea! quod he agayne. Than his man of lawe stode forth, and sayd: Sir, this man is but an ideot. Who wolde beleue that this marchaunt, whiche is both wyse and subtyle, wolde truste this ideot, that can speke neuer a redy worde, of xl peny worth of ware? and so with suche reasons he perswaded the Justyce to caste the marchaunt in his owne action. So whan the sentence was gyuen, the man of lawe drewe the dettour asyde, and said: Lo, howe sayst thou nowe? Haue not I done well for the? Thou arte clere quitte of the dette that was demanded of the: wherfore giue me my money, and G.o.d be with the. Bea! quod he. What, quod the laweer, thou nedest not to crie bea no longer; thy matter is dispatched; all is at a poynt, there resteth nothynge but to gyue me my wages, that thou promysyddest. Bea! quod he agayne. I saye, quod the man of lawe, crie bea no longer nowe, but gyue me my money. Bea! quod he.

Thus the man of lawe, neyther for fayre nor foule, coulde gette any other thinge of his client but Bea: wherfore all angerly he departed, and went his waye.

By this tale ye may perceyue, that they whiche be the inuenters and diuisers of fraude and disceit, ben often times therby deceyued them selfe. And he, that hath hyd a snare to attrap an other with, hath hym selfe ben taken therin.

FOOTNOTES:

[208] An old form of _neither_.

[209] In orig. _desired him of_.

[210] Orig. reads _sayd_.

-- _Of the woman that appeled fro kyng Philip to kynge Philippe._ xlvi.

-- A woman, whiche [was] gyltlesse, on a tyme was condempned by kynge Philippe of Macedone, whan he was not sobre: wherfore she sayde: I appele. Whether,[211] quod the kynge? To kynge Philippe, quod she; but that is whan he is more sobre and better aduysed; whiche sayenge caused the kynge to loke better on the matter, and to do her ryght.

This wryteth Val. Maximus. But Plutarche sayth, it was a man, and kynge Philip was halfe a slepe, whan he gaue sentence.

FOOTNOTES:

[211] Whither.

-- _Of the olde woman, that prayde for the welfare of the tyrant Denise._ xlvii.

-- What tyme Denyse[212] the tyranne raygned, for his cruelte and intollerable dealynge he was hated of all the[213] cite of Syracuse, and euery body wysshed his dethe, saue one olde woman, the whiche euery morning praid G.o.d to saue him in good life and helth. Whan he vnderstode that she so dyd, he meruailed greatly at her vndeserued beniuolence: wherfore he sente for her, and asked, why and howe he had deserued, that she prayde for hym? She answered and sayd: I do it nat with out a cause.

For, whan I was a mayde, we had a tyran raignynge ouer us, whose death I greatly desyred; whan he was slayne, there succided an other yet more cruell than he, out of whose gouernance to be also deliuered I thought it a hygh benifyte. The thyrde is thy selfe, that haste begon to raygne ouer vs more importunately[214] than either of the other two. Thus, fearynge leest, whan thou arte gone, a worse shuld succede and reigne ouer vs, I praye G.o.d dayly to preserue the in helthe.

FOOTNOTES:

[212] Dionysius.

[213] Orig. reads _che_.

[214] _Importunate_ seems to be used here in the sense of _oppressive_ or _overbearing_.

-- _Of the phisitian Eumonus._ xlviii.