The Left Ear c8

ch 8 The Summer Day the Wind Blew Past
On Jiang Jiao’s 18th birthday, we went to the karaoke bar to sing.

The summer day that the wind blew past. (t/n: This is also the t.i.tle of a song (被风吹过的夏天) by JJ Lin. Reference?)

In the dark and crowded private room, beer bottles filled the table. The smell of cigarettes made people cough and made them sleepy. My wife, Jiang Jiao, was singing with another boy. She was a pretty good singer. The way she closed her eyes when she sang made her look a bit like Da S, who played Shancai in Meteor Garden. For no reason, this soft, emotional singing made me feel tired. I suddenly thought of the girl that once sang on a bar’s narrow, wooden stage. The way her singing was open and indifferent, her eyes aloof. This sudden memory made me feel uneasy, so I got up and went outside. (t/n: Da S is the nickname of actress Barbie Hsu, who played the main character in the hit 2001 Taiwanese drama, Meteor Garden.)

The late August sun roasted the earth. The high alt.i.tude sun continuously spit out blood-red rays. The world had become a bound-up circle. I waved my hand to get a taxi and jumped inside, “To Nanshan.”

The air conditioning inside the taxi made me a bit uncomfortable. The driver looked at me through the rearview mirror. A person wearing casual shorts and a t-s.h.i.+rt, in the middle of a summer day, wanting to go to Nanshan. If he didn’t have a problem, he must be crazy.

Five minutes after we left, my phone rang. As expected, it was Cla.s.smate Jiang. An angry shout came from the other side, “Dead c.o.c.kroach, where are you?”

c.o.c.kroach was Cla.s.smate Jiang’s nickname for me. I don’t really remember where it came from anymore, but it probably meant I was one of the four pests (rats, bedbugs, flies, mosquitoes). Forgive me, for my memory has been rather poor recently. I can only remember that as a form of retaliation, I’d chosen the nickname “Housefly” for her, but she didn’t agree to it. Under her tearful gaze, I changed it to “Dumpling,” which she readily accepted. She’d said happily, “Dumplings are things with substance inside.”

(t/n: Their nicknames didn’t really come out of nowhere, by the way. I a.s.sume part of the reason is that the words sound like parts of the character’s names. Dumping (jiǎozi) for Jiang Jiao, and c.o.c.kroach (zhāngláng) for Zhang Yang.)

She had this smug way of saying things, that I just had to listen to.

“Hurry and talk. Why aren’t you talking? Where are you?” She was getting impatient.

“Bathroom,” I said.

“Why’ve you been gone for so long?”

“Taking a s.h.i.+t,” I said.

“c.o.c.kroach!” she yelled. “I don’t care, you’d better show up right now!”

I hung up and turned off my phone.

Nanshan was more than 20 km away. After a long while, the car stopped on a narrow street. The driver said, “This is as far as I can go. It’s hard to turn around if I drive up farther.”

I payed the taxi fare and got off. It was my first time coming here, and I was a bit confused about how to get going. I followed the mountain road, as I pondered how I would find the place I wanted to go to. Just as I wished, the heavens gave an answer. I really didn’t know where to go anymore, when I saw someone walking down the mountain. She carried a small, red umbrella and had on a small, blue backpack. I recognized her, and I suspected she recognized me too.

When she lifted her head and saw me, she looked a bit caught off guard. She lowered her head and kept walking down, wanting to pretend that she hadn’t seen me. I stayed where I was, not moving. When she pa.s.sed by me, I reached out and grabbed onto her arm.

She looked up, even more fl.u.s.tered, but she didn’t speak.

“Take me there,” I said.

She wanted to break free from my hold.

“If you don’t take me there today, don’t even think about leaving,” I threatened.

“Let go first,” she said lightly.

I let go, and she looked over me again. I felt her gaze grow stronger. Then she turned around and walked up the mountain. I followed her up, and very quickly, I was too tired to keep going. The pet.i.te figure in front of me looked completely at ease though. About ten minutes later, my eyes grew wide. The whole place was a cemetery, row upon row, under the blazing sun. It was utterly silent and tranquil. She took me along a small, winding trail. Shortly after, she stopped.

I knew we’d reached our destination.

I don’t know why, but my heart felt a bit panicked. I saw a bunch of fresh flowers on the gravestone in front of me. Yellow chrysanthemums, I think. Or maybe something else, I wasn’t sure. As I approached, I saw the photograph on the gravestone. It was black and white. Young, beautiful, a face I hadn’t seen in awhile. Those fearless eyes. My heart suddenly felt like it was being pulled out by someone, and then tossed into the air. In a minute, I wouldn’t be able to find it again.

I couldn’t help but kneel down, my head bowed, tears falling uncontrollably. They fell down to the gra.s.s, quickly evaporated by the sun.

“She was at peace. You shouldn’t have come to bother her.” I don’t know how much time pa.s.sed, when the girl standing beside me with the red umbrella spoke.

“Who are you?” I asked her.

“It’s not important who I am,” she said coldly.

“Are you her good friend?” I asked with some uncertainty. “You look familiar, but I’m not sure where I’ve seen you before.”

She said, in an even colder tone, “We went to the same school. I saw you all the time. Actually, we’ve met a few times.”

I remembered!

Memories of the past flashed in my mind, and my heart felt an inexplicable shock.

“You killed her,” she said. “She don’t forgive you. It doesn’t matter if you cry.”

After she finished speaking, she opened her red umbrella, turned around and left. I stood up from the ground, ran ahead, and grabbed hold of her. “You must have been there before she died. Tell me, did she say anything?”

“I heard you got into a major Beijing university,” she asked.

I nodded.

“Congrats,” she said.

I shouted impatiently, “Don’t give me that c.r.a.p, tell me what I want to know!”

She didn’t seem to be afraid of me. “I’m sorry to disappoint. She didn’t say anything at all. At least, I don’t know what she said.”

“Please tell me, I really want to know.” I softened my tone, trying to coax her.

“Maybe you should go ask Blackie.” She dropped that sentence, and left without turning back.

Perhaps it was because the evening was approaching. The burning sun finally felt dulled. A cool breeze blew across the mountain. I sat in front of Bala’s gravestone, watching as the far off clouds slowly floated past. I hadn’t expected a heavy rainstorm to come. It only felt like a few minute, and the sky had changed completely. As the wind blew, it grew stronger. Bean-sized raindrops. .h.i.t my body. I didn’t have anywhere to hide, and neither did I want to hide. Let the rain fall harder. Let it fall and shatter everything on the world. I didn’t expect any kind of redemption. In this moment, I only wanted to do this, to be with her. I thought back to when I stood outside her window on a snowing, winter evening. I thought of when her warm feet came closer to mine. In this storm, let me remember it, with no one to bother me.

With no one to bother me…

When I got back to the city, it was already 10 at night. The temperature was still as warm, even after the storm. My hair and clothes, which had been soaked, had already dried up.

Because I couldn’t hail a taxi, I walked for a very long time. I thought of the girl who also went to visit Bala. Maybe she visited often. I wonder how she usually returned home. She looked a bit frail, and if she had to walk this long way, she would surely fall to the ground from being tired.

I didn’t expect for Cla.s.smate Jiang to be waiting for me at the streetlight near my house.

At first, she’d been crouching on the ground. When she saw me, she stood up and leaned against the light pole, looking at me haggardly. She had already gone home to change into a new dress, and I noticed she’d even redone her hair. Her dark, reddish hair was messy, curling around her head.

I walked over to her.

“I’m 18 years old,” she said.

“Happy birthday,” I said.

“I got my hair permed,” she said.

“It looks bad,” I said.

Her face twitched, and then she started to cry. She didn’t throw herself into my arms. For a moment, I wanted to reach out and hug her, but in the end, I didn’t.

So we stood there like that, at an impa.s.se.

With a heavy heart, I waited until she finished crying.

But she just kept crying.

I maintained my temper and kept waiting.

Fortunately, no one pa.s.sed by this scene. But even if someone did pa.s.s by, it wouldn’t matter. I’d been the subject of gossip for a long time already. No matter what happens around me, people weren’t curious anymore.

Finally, I pat her back, saying, “Alright, if you cry too much, you’ll turn old. Your new hairdo already makes you look old enough.”

She lifted her head to look at me, “You don’t like it? I know you like it!”

“What are you saying?”

“You can’t forget her. I know you can’t forget her!” Jiang Jiao grabbed at her hair, crying and screaming, “If that’s the case, you should just hurry and forget about me! Zhang Yang, from now on, we’re through!”

“Okay,” I said.

She looked at me with widened eyes. I knew that she was already regretting what she had said. But I just kept looking at her, sticking to what I decided.

She looked at me hatefully, then pushed me away and ran forward. In front of me, a motorbike sped forward. Looking at her, she didn’t seem to realize she needed to dodge. My thoughts were booming, and I ran to her quickly, pulling her out of the way.

The motorbike came to a halt. It was only a millimeter away from us.

“You’re crazy!” The man on the motorbike was about 40 years old or so. After he scolded us, he drove off.

Cla.s.smate Jiang Jiao’s wild and curly hair brushed my cheek. It was very itchy. I wanted to push her away, but she was holding onto me very tightly.

She sobbed,” c.o.c.kroach, don’t stop liking me. Please, don’t leave me.”

“We’re through. You said it, not me.”

“I was wrong, I was wrong,” she acknowledged her mistake, faster than the blink of an eye.

“Okay,” I pushed her away lightly. “I’m really tired today. You should go home to rest too. If there’s anything else, we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

“Send me home, okay?” she said. “The road ahead is really dark. You know, I’ll get scared.”

I was really tired. And I was so hungry I was seeing stars. But there was no way out of it, I could only walk her back home. She held my hand, tightly, not letting go. After a few steps, she moved my hand to her waist. After we turned the corner to an alley, I clearly felt her shudder.

“Next week, we’ll leave this place.” In a trembling voice, “I really hate it here. After we leave, let’s never come back. How about it, c.o.c.kroach?”

I forgot to mention, Jiang Jiao also got into the same university in Beijing, the same department too. She actually wanted to go to Shanghai to study, but because I liked Beijing, she ended up choosing the Beijing university.

“Okay,” I said.

“I won’t cause trouble in the future,” she said. “I’ll be good.”

This kind of promise, I’d heard it a thousand times before.

After we left the alley, my hand involuntarily pulled her a bit closer. This street looked completely different in the day compared to the night. It seems to have been many nights since we’ve walked through here together. On the side of the road, there was a broken, old house. I’ll never forget that winter night. I rushed over, and Jiang Jiao had been tied up by Blackie and his guys. Blackie held a s.h.i.+ning knife to me, “Your choice. All of us here do your girl in front of you, or you take this knife and take care of it yourself!”

That was the day Bala was buried. Floating in the sky were the last snowflakes of spring.

I said to Blackie, “Let Jiang Jiao go. This has nothing to do with her!”

“I’ll be the one to decided whether it has to do with her,” he said. “Slap yourself ten times, and I’ll think about letting her go. How about it?”

I said, “Ten? That many?”

“Quit your f.u.c.king c.r.a.p!” He stepped forward and kicked my s.h.i.+n, and I painfully fell to my knees.

Blackie pointed the knife to my face and gestured, “This face isn’t bad. It could fool a girl, definitely could fool one. But top student, did you ever think about the consequences of fooling someone?”

At that moment, the sound of police sirens neared.

Blackie put his knife away, “What did you do?”

I stood up with great effort, and said coldly, “I called the cops.”

“Don’t forget, your phone is in my hands!” Blackie called. “If I’m unhappy, this will end up in Bala’s cousin’s hands.”

“So what?” I said. “It won’t explain anything.”

Blackie leapt at me with his knife. I hit the knife out of his hands. This big and useless thing, with an ugly expression. I held the knife to Blackie’s neck, forcing them to release Jiang Jiao.

“Don’t let her go,” Blackie said, with bloodshot eyes. “Big deal if we all just die together!”

“Think about your great future, this isn’t worth it,” I said to his lackeys. “Before the cops show up, get away!”

Four or five kids looked around at each other, and in the key moment, they chose themselves (over Blackie) and fled. One of them, before leaving, even went to untie Jiang Jiao. After she was released, she sat in the corner, unable to get up.

I let go of Blackie, “You should get out of here too.”

He looked at me in disbelief.

“If you don’t go, it’ll be too late!”

“This account isn’t settled. One day, I’ll be back to take care of it!” Blackie spit out the words before running off.

I went over to help Jiang Jiao up. With a pale face, she asked, “Did you really call the cops?”

“Would it have helped?” I said.

Still, I really had to thank the police car that pa.s.sed by.

That time, Jiang Jiao was deeply frightened. I had to stay with her for three days and nights before she was brave enough to step through the school doors.

Of course, it was very peaceful here now. Cla.s.smate Jiang’s father’s money was really the most useful thing. Nothing happened to Blackie. He just left, and I heard that he would never be returning.

Never come back, that’s good too.

In a short half year, a lot of things completely changed. Disappeared. Out of sight. The most painful thing was that the things that disappeared would never be seen again, would never return, but had left behind a thin, pointed needle. It kept piercing into your heart, unable to be pulled out. When it wanted you to hurt, you hurt.

“We’re back at my house,” Jiang Jiao’s low voice came. “I told Auntie w.a.n.g to make you fried rice. Today is my birthday, and we even bought a cake. If you don’t come to celebrate, how can that be?”

She was always like this, playing with wits, one step at a time, until she got what she wanted. Even though I wasn’t happy about it, I surrendered to my starving stomach.

“Okay,” I said.

Jiang Jiao lifted her face to look ay me, “c.o.c.kroach, you’re done for.”

“What?”

“You’ve already said, ‘Okay’ three times today. It seems like other than ‘Okay,’ you can’t say anything else.”

“Oh (affirmative),” I said.

“Come on, it’s my birthday. Can you be less absent minded?”

“Oh, okay,” I said.

It was the weekend. I was standing at the phone stall in the mall, selling phones.

School would be starting soon, so a lot of people were there to buy a phone. I stood for so long, my feet were weak. And I had to talk so much that my mouth had gone dry. At 6 o’clock, it could be said business wasn’t bad. I sold eight phones.

The manager came to me with a smile, “A handsome guy really knows how to get things done. Look, all your customers are female.”

That’s when I saw her, the girl I met when I went to Nanshan. She wore a white dress, and stood at the stationary stall. Next to her was a boy who was my cla.s.smate, Youta. That kid was a geek. He skipped a grade straight into Year 3 (senior year). His life seemed like it was devoted to studying. He ranked first in the city again, with about 30 points more than me, at rank 5.

Three minutes later, the two of them walked in my direction. She was carrying a bag, the notebooks and pens she just bought. When they walked about half the distance, I saw Youta try to carry the bag for her. But she firmly rejected.

When the saw me, they were both a bit surprised.

I smiled at them.

Youta also smiled, asking, “Zhang Yang, what are you doing here?”

“School’s about to start, I’ve got to get together my tuition,” I said.

Her face was taut the whole time, as if she didn’t see me.

“Do you need to buy a phone?” I asked.

“Yes,” Youta said. “I want something affordable and suited for a student to use. Do you have any recommendations?”

She said to Youta “You take a look, I’m going home first.”

Youta grabbed onto her. “Wait, let me take a look. I’ll be done really fast, and then I’ll send you home.”

“Who needs you to send me! It’s not like I don’t know the way!” After she finished, she valiantly turned and strode away.

I laughed and said, “Your girlfriend’s pretty tough.”

“No,” Youta quickly explained. “She’s my sister.”

“Oh?” I said. “Take a look at this Nokia, the price is pretty good.”

“Oh, forget it. I’ll come back to look tomorrow!” Youta pushed me away, and hurried after that girl.

Oh, ah… his sister.

The manager gave me my pay for the day, and told me I could get off work. She asked, “Are you coming tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll stand until the last post!” I pinched out 80 dollars as a gift to her, and then headed out the big doors.

Compared to the air-conditioned mall, the air outside was definitely hot. After standing at the counter for the whole day, my legs ached and were trembling a bit. My mouth felt very dry, so I ran over to a cold drinks store near the mall and bought a large cup of iced cola. I sat next to the bus stop to drink it.

When I turned my head, I suddenly saw her, standing right next to me. It gave me a pretty big scare. She was still carrying her bag, wearing her pure, white dress, eating a rainbow ice cream. But Youta was nowhere to be seen.

I was feeling pretty alright, so I spoke up and asked, “Where’s your brother?”

Her face reddened, and she looked very cute. But her next actions weren’t at all the timid actions I was expecting her to make. Instead, she responded quickly and playfully, “I got rid of him.”

“Ah, you should remember. Don’t just casually get rid of nice guys who treat you well. You’ll regret it later.” When I finished speaking, I crushed the cola cup and threw it to the floor.

She looked at me, then picked up the crushed cup and threw it into the garbage can beside us.

I lit a cigarette and smiled at her. She looked away. Just then, the bus arrived, and she jumped on. It was the 5 Bus. It wasn’t the bus I needed to take, but for some reason, I couldn’t help myself and followed her on.

There were a lot of people on the bus, so there weren’t any seats left. She wasn’t very tall, so grabbing onto the hanging rings on the bus were a bit difficult. I stood next to her and said, “If your bag doesn’t have anything too valuable, why don’t you let me carry it for you?”

She didn’t respond, but instead held her bag closer.

“Give it to me,” I said, as if dictating an order.

She still didn’t answer, but her facial expression started to look a bit tense.

I found it somehow interesting, so I teased her, “If you don’t give it to me, then I’ll just hold your hand.”

Before my hand even touched hers, her bag crashed into my arms, carrying her warmth. It was really quite heavy. I leaned over to ask, “Why buy so many notebooks? Are you writing a diary?”

She ignored me.

I said, “Why aren’t you answering?”

She lifted her small face, “Just because you ask, does that mean I have to answer?” Our faces were very close to each other, and when the bus shook, they grew even closer. The evening sun shone on her white face. Her skin was really nice, not like Jiang Jiao’s, and not like a lot of other girls. It was spotless and very clear. And her eyes. It was unimaginable how clear they were. As I kept staring at her, her face reddened. It showed how fl.u.s.tered she was, but she stubbornly refused to turn her gaze away.

It was really interesting, don’t you think?

At the next stop, she jumped off the bus, and I jumped after her.

“Thank you,” she said. “Give me back my bag.”

“What if I didn’t get off the bus with you?” I said.

“Then you wouldn’t have followed me at the start,” she said confidently. “You would’ve taken the 11 bus if you were going home, right?”

“Wow,” I said. “FBI Agent, is this where you live?”

“No,” she pointed ahead. “Then next stop is my house.”

“Then why did you get off here?”

“I’m not telling you,” she said.

Wow.

I held my arm. In the evening flow, I looked at this strange girl that you just couldn’t wrap your head around. Then she asked another question that confused me, “Are you hungry?”

I thought for a moment, “A bit.”

“Follow me,” she said.

And just like that, the once arrogant Zhang Yang followed the small girl. And he was carrying a bag of stuff for her as he walked. I didn’t have time to think about how that happened, but curiosity really is a person’s greatest enemy. And so I followed her, all the way to the noodle shop I used to frequent.

“Since you carried my things for me, I’ll treat you to a meal,” she turned around to tell me.

This was a place I was very familiar with, even though I hadn’t been there in a long time.

I sat down at a table against the wall. She ordered two bowls of beef noodles, and then sat across from me. She pushed one bowl towards me. I added a handful of cilantro to my bowl. Then she reached out her hand and grabbed the cilantro in my bowl and put it into hers, and nonchalantly started to eat.

“There’s so much cilantro here, why did you take mine?” I asked her.

She laughed lightly, “You don’t know, but someone once told me that other people’s things are the best.”

I was silent for a moment, and then asked, “Was it Bala?”

“Bala really liked the noodles here,” she said. “I saw you and her here together before, but you definitely wouldn’t remember.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t remember.”

“The day you went to see her, it rained on the mountain,” she said. “I kept wondering if you would had caught a cold.”

“Why are you worrying about me?”

“I’m not telling you,” she said that sentence again.

She lowered her head and ate her noodles. She ate and ate, and then looked up and said, “Why aren’t you moving? Didn’t you say you were hungry?”

I said, “I’m always like this. I’ll be very hungry, but I then I can’t eat anything.”

She took a pair of clean chopsticks, stretched her arm out and mixed my noodles for me. She said gently, “Hurry and eat. If the noodles get soft, they won’t be good.”

“What’s your name?” I asked her.

“Li Er,” she said. “Li spelled with mu and zi, Er as in ear with a w.a.n.g radical.”

(t/n: In an early chapter, Li Er was called “Wooden Ear” (I think that’s what I translated it to): mu zi er. Those are also the characters that spell out her name, 木 mu – 子 zi – 耳 er. A mu 木 (wood) on top of zi 子 spells her last name, Li 李. And then an er 耳 (ear) is part of her given name, Er 珥.)

“Is Youta really your brother?”

“No,” she said.

“Then, your boyfriend?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” she said quickly. “I don’t date.”

“You know, I’m really envious of Youta. He got into Tsinghua (University). That was my dream.”

She comforted me with the familiar words, “Your school isn’t bad. Not everyone can get into Tsinghua.”

I lit a cigarette and handed it to her. She shook her head, and said seriously, “Smoking is bad for your health. You should cut down.”

I bowed to her. And then I hungrily gulfed down my bowl of noodles.

She took out a napkin from her bag and handed it to me. If someone we knew came into the shop right now, most of them would think that we had some kind of ambiguous relations.h.i.+p. But she was very calm and composed.

That night, I insisted on sending her home.

She insisted on taking the street behind the shop. The houses there had already been built. There were lights now, and even flowers planted in the ground. But aside from the people who lived nearby, no one would walk there. I followed her, step by step. Suddenly she stopped and asked me, “Do you remember this place?”

“I remember,” I said.

“That time you hit her here, I pulled you away.”

I endured the panic that grew inside, and teased, “If I were to hit you today, who do you think will pull me away?”

“You won’t,” she said.

“Why are you so sure?”

“I’m not telling you,” she said.

“Then let us try it out!” I grabbed her, and she cried out softly. But it was just softly, and she didn’t even use her energy to push me away. This mysterious girl… In that moment, I had an impulse to kiss her. But I didn’t. She was right, I couldn’t do it. Indeed, I couldn’t do anything to her.

I let her go and said, “Let’s go, I’ll (gege) take you home.”

“No need, my house isn’t far. It’s that building.” She pointed ahead. Then she took the bag from my hands, “Zhang Yang, see you later.”

She called me Zhang Yang, as if we’d known each other for many years, as if we’d been friends for a long time.

“Go!” I shouted, waving my hand.

I watched as she walked ahead. She didn’t go far before she turned around and rushed toward me. She asked very directly, “I want to know your phone number, or WeChat (messaging app) or QQ (IM program) is okay too.”

When she was done speaking, she handed a pen and a new notebook to me.

I wrote it for her, under the streetlight. Then she thanked me and left.

d.a.m.n!

When I got home that night, I found Jiang Jiao and her mother. My father was adding water to their teacups. By the looks of it, they’d been there for quite awhile.

“Hi,” I greeted them as if nothing strange had happened. I hadn’t see her for a few days, and Jiang Jiao’s new hairdo really was a mess. It was like a bird’s nest sitting on top of her head. She had on purple eye shadow. I hated that vulgar purple color the most. I recalled the straight-haired Jiang Jiao, wearing her black and white school uniform. At least the her back then didn’t make me feel hatred toward her.

“Zhang Yang, we were just discussing with your father, about the two of you studying in Beijing,” Jiang Jiao’s mother said. “He said he wouldn’t send you two off. Jiang Jiao’s father is also busy, so I’ll be the only one to send you two. We have a house in Beijing, and the two of you can stay there on the weekends…”

“Okay,” I said, with a smile.

“c.o.c.kroach, have you eaten yet?” Jiang Jiao asked.

“I have,” I said.

“What did you eat?” She was always like this, insisting on asking until the end.

“Noodles.”

“How can that be nutritious!” Jiang Jiao’s mother called out. “Let’s go. We haven’t eaten yet, let’s go out to eat together. A Sichuan restaurant opened recently, and it’s not bad. It’s not far from here.”

“Let’s go,” Jiang Jiao pulled me.

“I’m not going,” I said with a sigh. “I’ve been standing all day at the counter, I’m very tired. I want to sleep.”

“You went to sell phones again?!” Jiang Jiao cried out. “Didn’t I tell you not to go?”

I glared at her, and she shut her mouth.

“Auntie, have a seat. I’m going to shower.” When I finished my greetings, I grabbed an unders.h.i.+rt and headed to the bathroom. Jiang Jiao followed me to the bathroom door. I asked her, “What? You want to watch me shower?”

Her lips cracked open, “What, it’s not like I haven’t seen it before!”

“Go outside and wait,” I said.

She stood at the door, not leaving. “c.o.c.kroach, are you still angry? If I didn’t come to find you, were you never going to look for me?”

“What are you talking about?” I said, pretending not to understand.

“I just like your bad temper,” she suddenly said, with a light. She hugged me, “You’re really s.e.xy.”

Suddenly a pair of clear eyes flashed into my mind. With some difficulty, I pushed Jiang Jiao away, coaxing her, “Alright, I’ll come outside when I’m done showering.”

She finally let go.

That evening, Jiang Jiao slept at my house, on the narrow, wooden bed. With the slightest movement, it would creak and creak. Jiang Jiao held onto me, refusing to let go. Then, out of nowhere, she started to cry. Her tears fell onto my chest, and it was a bit itchy. I still didn’t have any other desires. “It’s okay, c.o.c.kroach. We’ll leave this place, and everything will be better. It’s okay…”

As she muttered on, I fell asleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night, and realized that Jiang Jiao hadn’t slept at all. She sat near the window of my room, wearing a big t-s.h.i.+rt, smoking. She looked very comfortable smoking, but she’d never smoked in front of me before.

I sat up and looked at her. Her curly hair and the dark outline of her face. I knew that this capricious girl had given me many things. She suffered all sorts of problems for love, I knew that.

She heard a sound and turned around. With the light of the moonlight, I saw her crying. Big drops fell down her face, as she cried without a sound.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“I saw a shooting star,” she said. “It flew past, and then it was gone.”

I reached out and motioned for her to come over.