Harper's Round Table, June 25, 1895 Part 13

Every boy and girl has doubtless heard of the great composer Handel.

Here is a little story told of him and of Dr. Maurice Green, a musician whose compositions were never remarkably fine. It seems he had sent a solo anthem to Handel for his opinion, and Handel invited him to take breakfast, and he would say what he thought of it. After coffee, Green's patience became exhausted, and he said, "Well, sir, what did you think of it?"

"Oh, your anthem! Ah, I did t'ink dat it wanted air."

"Air!" cried Green.

"Yes, air; and so I did hang it out of de vindow," replied Handel.

"James," asked the school-teacher, "what do you do with your odd moments after school?"

"I waits until they adds up into an hour, and then I goes fis.h.i.+n'."

FREDDY (_five years old_). "Boys, keep away from me."

CHORUS. "Why, what's the matter?"

FREDDY. "The teacher said I was sharp to-day, and you might get cut."

MOTHER. "Frank, what is baby crying about?"

FRANK. "I guess because I took his cake and showed him how to eat it."

There is a story going the rounds of the British press about two very distinguished archaeologists--Sir William Wilde and Dr. Donovan. It seems that these two gentlemen made an excursion to the Isles of Arran, where interesting remains of archaeological nature have been found.

They came across a little rough stone building, and both entered into a fierce argument as to the exact century of its erection. Finally each claimed a date, one giving it the sixth century, and the other a later one.

A native who had listened with gaping mouth and ears to the lengthy and learned terms used by the disputants, broke into the conversation with the remark, "Faix, you're both wrong as far as that little buildin' is consarned; it was built just two years ago by Tim Doolan for his jacka.s.s."

THE HIGHWAYMAN AND THE TRAVELLER.

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A highwayman grim--here's a picture of him-- A traveller once did waylay,

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But his pistols were rusted; he fired: they busted.

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And the traveller went on his way.