Harper's Round Table, June 25, 1895 - BestLightNovel.com
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[Ill.u.s.tration]
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[Ill.u.s.tration: "NOW I KNOW p.u.s.s.y ATE UP MY GOLDFISH, FOR YOU CAN SEE THE BONES STICKING OUT OF HER CHEEKS."]
A QUESTION OF PEDIGREE.
"Now who is that?" asked a dignified hen; "That chicken in white and gray?
She's very well dressed, but from whence did she come?
And her family, who are _they_?"
"She never can move in our set, my dear,"
Said the old hen's friend to her, later; "I've just found out--you'll be shocked to hear-- _She was hatched in an incubator!_"
Patrick, in answer to an advertis.e.m.e.nt for a coachman, applied for the position. He was one of three applicants, and patiently waited until his turn arrived to offer his services. The gentleman who wanted the coachman loved a joke, and when the first applicant had answered a few of his questions, he finally asked him,
"How near to the edge of a precipice would you undertake to drive my carriage?"
"Your Honor, I'd come within a foot of it."
The same question was put to the second applicant, who replied,
"I'll drive within three inches of it all the way, and never slip a wheel."
Patrick was then asked what he would do. "Faith, your Honor, I'd kape as far away from the idge as possible." Patrick was engaged.