Lucky Pehr Part 12

QUALIFIED VOTERS. Yes.

ONE OF THE PEOPLE. [Makes noise like a sheep.] B-a-a-a! [An instant of laughter and commotion.]

BURGOMASTER. The Common Council is adjourned. [Trumpets and drum sound, after which silence on stage.]

RELATIVE. [To Shoemaker.] He's an uncommonly firm expeditor, that burgomaster.

SHOEMAKER. He ought to be in the Legislature--then it would go a little faster with the common motions.

[Burgomaster, Councilmen and Secretary go into Courthouse. People continue to circulate on square; Street-paver keeps aloof.]

SHOEMAKER. [To Chiropodist, Wagonmaker and Relative.] Gentlemen, won't you sit down and drink a gla.s.s of ale with me?

CHIROPODIST, WAGONMAKER, RELATIVE. Thank you!

SHOEMAKER. [At door, gives order; Hans brings on ale.] Well, Herr Relative, you did not choose to be present this morning at the memorial fest for your ill.u.s.trious kinsman?

RELATIVE. Where was the need of my going out in the rain? You were there with the Society.

SHOEMAKER. The whole Society! There were three of us.

RELATIVE. Did you sing?

CHIROPODIST. Yes, a little.

RELATIVE. [Laughing.] Were there many people?

WAGONMAKER. Not a soul!

RELATIVE. And the burgomaster--

SHOEMAKER. Overslept himself.

RELATIVE. [Laughing.] Have you seen the _Morning Crow_?

ALL. No.

RELATIVE. [Takes up a pamphlet.] Would you like to hear, then--"_Tribute_. The customary tribute paid by the Schulze Society to the memory of our worthy citizen, whom we commemorate in bronze on the city's public square, took place this morning in presence of a great crowd of people that greeted the memorial songs, sung in honor of the ill.u.s.trious departed, with hearty applause. The songs were rendered by the great chorus with the usual precision and good ensemble. The oration, which had been prepared with the utmost care, was delivered in clear, resonant tones by the worthy shoemaker, Pumpen-Block. Among the notables present we observed the city's burgomaster, the kinsman of the departed, and others." [All laugh.]

RELATIVE. Isn't that rich?

ALL. Oh, it's priceless!--You wrote that.

RELATIVE. By the by, have you seen the cartoon of the reformer and the street-paver? It's capital!

SHOEMAKER. But it was a bit extravagant to caricature them in that way!

RELATIVE. Oh, no sensible person has anything against the proposition; but that it should fall into such hands--Hush, here he comes!

[Pehr is led on by guards, who place him in the pillory and adjust neck-irons. The populace nudge each other and point at him. Shoemaker's company slightly embarra.s.sed. Enter a lyre player and an old blind woman, with a painted canvas on a pole. Old woman sings and points at canvas, which is painted in six panels--one for each stanza.]

OLD WOMAN.

There was a guileless youth Who heard the people's wail; Lawgivers sat in the square And gaily quaffed their ale.

The youth to the people said: "I would make your pathway fair!"

"There's trouble," the rulers cried, "Sedition breeds in the air."

Still they sat in the square, And still they quaffed their ale; They talked of the people's good, But heard not the people's wail.

The youth in the pillory stood, For there he'd been given his place; In the wag'nmaker's hen-coop the c.o.c.k crew As of yore in Caiphas' palace.

The great respect the law, Their own renown they buy With statues and tombs and gold To praise them when they die.

The people pa.s.s under the yoke, They wail through the vigils of night, And wait till the c.o.c.k shall crow To herald an era of light.

[Shoemaker's company make wry faces and pretend not to be listening; the people are interested and drop pennies into the old woman's bank. The women are moved to tears and wipe their eyes now and then.]

RELATIVE. [To shoemaker.] Have you many orders now-a-days?

SHOEMAKER. Oh, so-so--

OLD WOMAN. Give the old blind woman a coin?

CHIROPODIST. Begging is prohibited, don't you know that?

ONE OF THE PEOPLE. She's not begging; she asks remuneration.

SHOEMAKER. What kind of rot is he talking?

ONE OF THE PEOPLE. The Schulze Society is paid to sing for the statue yonder, but the men pocket the coins and stay away. This morning only three were there.

SHOEMAKER. [To his guests.] Think, they know all that goes on, the villains!

OLD WOMAN. Give the blind old woman a coin!

RELATIVE. One must pay, to boot, for her croaking?

ONE OF THE PEOPLE. She sings better than the shoemaker sang this morning, when we stood round the corner listening to him. He certainly does not sing ideally about carnations and roses, but a true word spoken at the right moment is also ideal!

RELATIVE. If you don't go, old hag, you'll be locked up!

[Thunder and lightning, wind, rain, commotion.]

SHOEMAKER. Egad! it's raining again. Step inside, gentlemen. [They break up.]

OLD WOMAN. Must that poor wretch in the pillory stand out in the rain?

RELATIVE. If my kinsman, who is so great a personage, can stand outside, then that fellow may as well stay where he is.