Kapitan Sino Chapter 9

"You know, one mistake and that hard head of yours will be smashed…now wear this!" Bok-bok reminds Rogelio while reaching out the helmet. With a heavy heart, the friend gives up and wears the head protection: a silver helmet that's shaped like a standing egg; antennas like Walkie Talkies to the sides; bulging eyes that look like fat elongated tomatoes about to burst; and a carved nose and mouth that doesn't match the size of the eyes. At a glance, the wearer looks like some type of r.e.t.a.r.ded alien. It isn't easy to convince anyone to wear the helmet. "Now, listen closely. Try to concentrate. Now fly the province of Palawan near Bicol so that the shape of the Philippines looks neater."

Tessa lets out a cough to remind Bok-bok to take things seriously and Rogelio might be losing his temper.

"Ok, let's do this instead. Feel your surroundings. Take a deep breath…do you feel a sense of imminent danger or a deep sense of shame?" Bok-bok asks Rogelio while biting his fist in a pretend cough just to stop his laughter.

"None," Rogelio ansers from inside the helmet. "And I could see what you're doing I'm this close to kicking your a.s.s."

"And why are you teaching Rogelio anyway," Tessa asks. "Have you trained in becoming a superhero before?"

"Nope. But I was the one that taught ET to not p.o.o.p inside the house. Right, Rogelio?"

Rogelio doesn't answer. He stares at the far end of the gigantic lot where a subdivision will be raised. He opens and closes his fingers inside the gray gloves. He feels the leather looking, rubber like fabric of his clothes, comfortable wear that reaches from his neck to his ankles and covers his whole arm.

"Bok-bok, please tell me if the outfit I made for Rogelio suits him," Tessa excitedly asks.

"The silver's nice, like meatloaf wrapped in aluminum foil," opens Bok-bok. "The fit looks about right, the zipper's not obvious, I don't see any stickers or price tags—"

"The sun?"

"What sun?"

"The sun in the helmet and suit, that's what I added, 'source of all energy.'"

"Ah, that's a sun? I didn't know…hehehe. It looks good, he looks like Philippine Airlines.”

Tessa just smiles at Bok-bok's teasing. "The boots?"

"Chuck Taylor Converse All-Stars, black, but looks white from all the dirt, the laces are worn out, and you know it smells disgusting since Rogelio doesn't wash his shoes."

"Sneakers? You didn't see any boots in the box?"

"Nope. We already turned the box over. All that came out were c.o.c.kroach eggs and a calling card for a money changer in Binondo."

"My, I'm sorry, there might not really be matching shoes with the bodysuit."

"There wasn't. But that's alright, Rogelio's really pulling off the lame look anyway. You know what's missing? A telephone. Like the ones James Bond uses. That's why in the future I'm inventing a small telephone that has a camera, radio, calculator, calendar, and other trivial stuff."

"And what will you call it?"

"Telephone¹."

The busy Rogelio looks at them. "Bok, are you seeing a light outside the helmet?"

Bok-bok's jaw drops. "N-No…why?"

"There's an LED light inside here."

"Rogelio, are you hearing yourself right now?" Bok-bok asks in amazement. "Talk again."

"Why, are you not hearing me clearly?"

Bok-bok explains that Rogelio sounds like a robot with a megaphone inside the helmet, and every time he stops talking a deep and soft "wheonnngk" feedback rings out in the end.

"Tessa, are you sure this helmet didn't come from some other planet?"

"I don't know. My grandma even thought that was a TV, so she didn't want to use it. She thought it was going to explode like the rice cooker we didn't know was a 110."

"This helmet?"

"Yup," the girl laughs.

Rogelio notices the comfortable feeling inside the helmet. Light. Cool. The light's not blinding, the view from the face s.h.i.+eld is clear, despite the eyes outside being red and looking like a housefly's. Something like an autofocus fixes the visibility of the surroundings, whether its too dark or too bright. He also clearly hears his surroundings because of the b.u.t.ton like speakers near his ear. When he turns his head, the receiver goes stronger which sharpens his already excellent hearing.

"Is it battery operated?" Tessa asks. "Bok-bok tried it on too."

Rogelio pats the headwear. "I tried looking for a battery compartment awhile ago, but there wasn't one."

"It didn't work for me," Bok-bok said. "Remember the light bulb from the shop, Rogelio? Maybe it only works for you because you have electricity in your body and you're abnormal?"

Rogelio removes the helmet to look inside. The LED light turns off. "Biothermal?"

"What?"

"Maybe body heat or breath is the one that supplies it power."

"Then why doesn't it work for me?"

Rogelio thinks again as he wears the helmet once more.

"Hey, what happened there?!" Bok-bok says with a mix of surprise and dismay as he notices the burnt part in Rogelio's right glove. "You haven't even used it yet!"

Rogelio explains that when he wasn't saying anything a while ago he tried making an electric charge in his hand, a habit of his when he isn't doing anything. "Kind of like whistling or snapping your fingers when you got nothing to do. I also tested if I can make an electric bolt. I made one before but it was weak, I think it took a minute before I got a piece of paper to burn."

"Can you make flames?" Bok-bok's furrowed brow turns into a smile when he learns about his friends ability.

"I could make some weak electricity that does nothing."

"Radical!"

"Robbery…?"

"I said radical!"

"Did any of you say 'this is a robbery'?"

Tessa and Bok-bok shakes their heads.

"Then, there really is a robbery ongoing!" Rogelio ran to the direction where he heard the commotion.

"Jump, Rogelio, jump!" Bok-bok shouts.

Rogelio jumps. And for the first time, Bok-bok sees his friend jump 20 meters in the air using a powerful leap comparable to flying. Like a superhero, Rogelio even waves back to his friend while he soars through the air…before smacking right into a mango tree at the end of the subdivision.

"Told you so! Tsk, tsk, told you so…"

"Bok-bok, what happened?" Tessa worriedly asks.

"Huh? Nothing, Allan Caidic's probably getting Rookie of the Year," Bok-bok has his right hand up to block the sun's rays as he looks at Rogelio climbing down the tree. In a split-second, his friend is out of sight. He finally reaches Banco Suico where a crime is occurring.

"I said n.o.body move! Get down! Everybody get down!" Shouts the man wearing stockings on his head while pointing a .45 calibre in the face of the bank manager. The last bunch of 100 peso bills are being slid inside of the bag by his accomplices when the door shatters and in comes a man wearing a silver costume.

"You know what you have to do," said the robot-voiced new comer. "Drop the gun, leave the money, and arms above your head."

The leader is dumbfounded and looks around him. From a corner of the room, an old gay man stands up and furiously shouts: "Cut!"

The superhero looks back.

"Judas, Barabas, Hestas, you are ruining my movie! You're cras.h.i.+ng my scene, who do you think you are, Dolphy²?!"

The bandits were mad as well. "Are we doing it again, direk?"

"What else?!" The head of the bald director is steaming. He looks at the superhero. "And you, make yourself busy! Make some coffee, wipe the floor, anything, just get out of here! Tsupi! Tsupi! Tsupi!"

Though it didn't suit the robot voice, the superhero kept on apologizing again and again to the director. He almost crawls out the bank from shame and humiliation. Until the parking lot, he still felt sorry for himself. In three leaps, he is back inside the shop. He takes a few moments kicking himself and thinking about his future as a savior. In the middle of his penance, he hears the open radio of his neighbor who is listening to DZRB:

…In total, an estimated amount of five million has been robbed from the Banco Suico by the syndicate. In other news, the time is 11:30. This message is brought to you by CY Gabriel Wonder Soap. CY Gabriel…the soap used by celebrities!

Translators Note:

1 – Joke is a bit lost in translation.

2 – A famous comedian in the Philippines, also known as the Philippines’ King of Comedy.