Wit and Mirth: or Pills to Purge Melancholy Volume VI Part 12

[Music]

Come buy my Greens and Flowers fine, Your Houses to adorn; I'll grind your Knives, to please your Wives, And bravely cut your Corns: Ripe Straw-berries here I have to sell, With Taffity-Tarts and Pies; I've Brooms to sell will please you well, If you'll believe your Eyes.

Here's Salop brought from Foreign parts, With dainty Pudding-Pyes; And Shrewsbury-Cakes, with Wardens bak'd, I scorn to tell you Lies: With Laces long and Ribbons broad, The best that e'er you see; If you do lack an Almanack, Come buy it now of me.

The Tinker's come to stop your holes, And Sauder all your Cracks; What e'er you think here's dainty Ink, And choice of Sealing-Wax: Come Maids bring out your Kitchin-stuff, Old Rags, or Women's Hair; I'll sell you Pins for Coney-skins, Come buy my Earthen-ware.

Here's Limmons of the biggest size, With Eggs and b.u.t.ter too; Brave News they say is come to Day, If _Jones's_ News be true: Here's Spiggot and fine Wooden-wares, With Fossets to put in; I'll bottom all your broken Chairs, Then pray let me begin.

A Rabbit fat and plump I have, Young Maidens love the same; Come buy a Bird, I'm at a word, Or Pullet of the Game: I sell the best spice Ginger-Bread, You ever did eat before; While Madam _King_ her Dumplings, She crys from Door to Door.

Come buy a Comb, or Buckle fine, For Girdle of your La.s.s; My Oysters too are very new, With Trumpet sounding gla.s.s: Your Lanthorn-horns I'll make them s.h.i.+ne, And mend them very well; There's no Jack-line so good as mine, As I have here to sell.

Come buy my Honey and my Book, For Cuckolds to peruse; Your Turnip-man is come again, To tell his Dames some News: I've Plumbs and Damsons very fine, With very good mellow Pears; Come buy a charming Dish of Fish, And give it to your Heirs.

Come buy my Figs, before they're gone, Here's Custards of the best; And Mustard too, that's very new, Tho' you may think I Jest: My Holland-socks are very strong, Here's Eels to skip and play; My hot grey-pease buy if you please, For I come no more to Day.

Old Suits or Cloaks, or Campaign Wigs, With Rusty Guns or Swords: When Wh.o.r.es or Pimps do buy my Shrimps, I never take their words: Your Chimney clean my Boy shall sweep, While I do him command; Card Matches cheap by lump or heap, The best in all the Land.

Come taste and buy my Brandy-Wine, 'Tis newly come from _France_: This Powder now is good I vow, Which I have got by chance; New Mackerel the best I have, Of any in the Town; Here's Cloath to sell will please you well, As soft as any Down.

Work for the Cooper, Maids give Ear, I'll hoop your Tubs and Pails: And if your sight it is not right, Here's that that never fails: Milk that is new come from the Cow, With Flounders fresh and fair; Here's Elder-buds to purge your Bloods, And Onions keen and rare.

Small-coal young Maids I've brought you here, The best that e'er you us'd; Here's Cherries round and very sound, If they are not abus'd; Here's Pippings lately come from _Kent_, Pray taste and then you'll buy; But mind my Song, and then e'er long, You'll sing it as well as I.

_The Lover's_ CHARM.

[Music]

Tell me, tell me, charming Fair, Why so cruel and severe; Is't not you, ah! you alone, Is't not you, ah! you alone, Secures my wandering Heart your own: Change, which once the most did please, Now wants the power to give me ease; You've fixt me as the Centure sure, And you who kill alone can cure, And you who kill alone can cure.

If refusing what was granted, Be to raise my Pa.s.sion higher; Nymph believe me, I ne'er wanted, Art for to inflame desire: Calm my Thoughts, serene my Mind, Still increasing was my Joy, Till _Lavinia_ prov'd unkind, Nothing could my Peace destroy.

_A_ SONG _in the_ Royal Mischief. _Set by Mr._ John Eccles. _Sung by Mr._ Leveridge.

[Music]

Unguarded lies the wis.h.i.+ng Maid, Distrusting not to be betray'd; Ready to fall with all her Charms, A s.h.i.+ning Treasure to your Arms: Who hears this Story must believe, No Heart can truer Joy receive; Since to take Love and give it too, Is all that Love for hearts can do.

_A Ligg of good Noses set forth in a Jest.

Most fitly compared to whom you think best._

[Music: _First Nose._]

[Music: _CHO. of all._]

[Music: _1 N._, _2d._ _3d._ _4th._]

[Music: _All shake Hands._]

_The LARGEST._

My Nose is the largest of all in this place, Mark how it becometh the midst of my Face; By measure I take it from the end to the Brow, Four Inches by compa.s.s, the same doth allow.

Likewise it is forged of pa.s.sing good Metal, All of right Copper, the best in the Kettle; For redness and Goodness the virtue is such, That all other Metal it serveth to touch.

Old smug, nor the Tinker that made us so merry, With their brave Noses more red than a Cherry; None here to my Challenge can make a denial, When my Nose cometh thus bravely to Tryal.

_All Sing._

Room for good Noses the best in our Town, Come fill the Pot Hostess, your Ale it is brown; For his Nose, and thy Nose, and mine shall not quarrel, So long as one Gallon remains in the Barrel.

_The LONGEST._

My Nose is the Longest no Man can deny, For 'tis a just handful right, mark from mine Eye; Most seemly down hanging full low to my Chin, As into my Belly it fain would look in.

It serves for a Weapon my Mouth to defend, My Teeth it preserveth still like a good Friend; Where if so I happen to fall on the Ground, My Nose takes the burthen and keeps my Face sound.

It likewise delighteth to peep in the Cup, Searching there deeply 'till all be drank up; Then let my Nose challenge of Noses the best, The longest with Ladies are still in request.

_All Sing._

Room for, _&c._

_The THICKEST._

My Nose it is Thickest and Roundest of all, Inriched with Rubies the great with the small; No Goldsmith of Jewels can make the like show, See how they are planted here all on a row.

How like a round Bottle it also doth hang, Well stuffed with Liquor will make it cry tw.a.n.g; With all, it is sweating in the midst of the Cold, More worth to the honour than ransoms of Gold.

You see it is gilded with Claret and Sack, A Food and fit cloathing for belly and back: Then let my Nose challenge of all that be here, To sit at this Table as chiefest in cheer.

_All Sing._