Wit and Mirth: or Pills to Purge Melancholy Volume VI Part 13

Room for, _&c._

_The Second Part._

_We have the best Noses that be in our Town, If any bring better come let him sit down._

_The FLATEST._

My Nose is the Flatest of all that be here, Devoid of all Danger and bodily fear; When other long Noses let fly at a Post, My Nose hath the advantage, well known to my Host.

For 'tis of the making of _Dunstable_ way, Plain without turning as Travellers say, Though no Nose but approveth to some disgrace, It bringeth less trouble unto a good Face.

Then let me do homage to them that have best, For all Nose and no Nose, are both but a Jest; Yet my Nose shall Challenge although it be flat, A place with my Neighbours at whiping the Cat.

_All Sing._

Room for good Noses the best in our Town, Come fill the Pot Hostess, your Ale it is Brown: For his Nose, and thy Nose, and mine shall not quarrel, So long as one Gallon remains in the Barrel.

_The SHARPEST._

My Nose is the Sharpest good Neighbours mark well, The smoak of a Banquet three Mile I can smell; Forged and shaped so sharp at the End, Makes known that I pa.s.s not what others do spend.

Yet must my Nose spiced most orderly be, With Nutmegs and Ginger, or else 'tis not for me; And so to the bottom the same I commit, Of every Man's cup whereas I do sit.

My Nose is the foremost you see at each Feast, Of all other Noses the princ.i.p.al Guest: Then let my Nose challenge as sharp as it shows, The chiefest of every good and bad Nose.

_All Sing._

Room for, _&c._

_The BROADEST._

My Nose is the Broadest how like you Sir, that, It feeds on good Liquor and grows very fat; For like to a Panack it covers my Face, To make other Noses the more in disgrace.

And look how it glisters like Copper-smith's Hall, To which our good Noses are summoned all; When if that the Colours hold out not good red, A Fine must be levied and set on their Head.

For having the Broadest and fairest to the Eye, The Sergeant of Noses appointed am I; Then let my Nose challenge the chiefest from the rest, Of all other Noses the Broadest is best.

_All Sing._

Room for good Noses the best in our Town, Come fill the Pot Hostess, your Ale it is Brown; For his Nose, and thy Nose, and mine shall not quarrel, So long as one Gallon remains in the Barrel.

_The_ LUDGATE _Prisoners._

[Music]

n.o.ble King _Lud_, Full long hast thou stood, Not framed of Wood, but of Stone Of Stone sure thou art, Like our Creditors Heart, That regards not our sorrowful Moan.

Within the Gate, They cry at the Grate, Pray Remember our Fate and shew Pity; The poor and distress'd, Who in Bonds are oppress'd, Entreat the relief of the City

In Threadbare Coats, We tear our Throats, With pitiful Notes that would move All Creatures, but Brutes, To give ear to our Suits, And themselves like true Christians approve.

But in vain we cry, With a Box hanging by, Good Sirs cast an Eye on our Case; No Beau nor Town Mistress, Are touched with our Distress, But hold up their Nose at the Place.

The Lawyer jogs on, Without looking upon Th' afflicted, whose Moans he gives being; Nor thinks on us Cits, But Breviates and Writs, And demurrs on Exorbitant Feeing,

The _Serjeants_ and _Yeomen_, Who seek to undo Men, Though Good-men and True-men ne'er mind us; But rejoyce they get, By our being in Debt, And that where they have brought us, they find us.

The Merchant alone, Makes our sorrows his own, And allows there is none but may fail; Since that is free, By losses at Sea, May be immurr'd in a Gaol.

His Purse and his Board, With Plenty are stor'd, Due Relief to afford to the Needy; While the Priest in his Coach, Joggs on to Debauch, To cloath us or feed us too Greedy.

Others go by, And hearing our cry, They cast up their Eye in Disdain; Affirming that we, If once get free, Should quickly be Prisoners again,

But let 'em take heed, That reproach us indeed, And thus at our need go by grinning; Since it is so Man, That there is no Man, Knows his End, that may know his Beginning.

_Room for Gentlemen._

[Music]

Room for Gentlemen, here comes a Company, Room for Gentlemen, here comes my Lord-Mayor; You Barons, you Knights, and also you 'Squires, Give Room for Gentlemen, here comes my Lord Mayor.

First comes the Wors.h.i.+pful Company, Of Gallant _Mercers_ into this Place; With their worthy Caps of Maintenance, Upon their Shoulders to their great grace: Side by side do they go as you see here, _Room for_, &c.

Next to them here comes the _Grocers_, A Company of Gallants bold; Who willingly do give Attendance, As all the People may behold: In their Gowns and their Caps with gallant Cheer.

Room for, _&c._

Then the _Drapers_ they come next, With their Streamers flying so fair; And their Trumpets sounding most loudly, Attending still upon my Lord Mayor: Their Whifflers, their Batchelors, and all they have there, Give Room, _&c._

Then comes the Company of gallant _Fishmongers_, Attending his Lords.h.i.+p's coming here; As duty bindeth they do still wait, Until his Lords.h.i.+p doth appear: Then they rise, and go with l.u.s.ty cheer, With Loving Hearts before the Lord Mayor.

The _Goldsmiths_ they are next to them, A braver Company there cannot be; All in their Liveries going most bravely, And Colours spread most gallantly: They do wait, they attend, and then they stay there, Until the coming of my Lord Mayor.

The _Merchant-Taylors_ now they come in, A Company both stout and bold; Most willing to perform their Duties, Scorning of any to be controul'd: In their Gowns and their Caps, and ancient Affairs, All attend, _&c._

The _Haberdashers_ a Company be, Of Gentlemen both Grave and Wise; To all good Orders they do agree, For the City's good they still devise: They set to their helping as you may hear, Still to the comfort of City and Mayor.

The _Skinners_ they a Company be, As gallant Men as be the rest; Their Duties they perform truly, As honestly as do the best: Their Antients, then Drums, then Trumpets be there, Attending still, _&c._