Our Next-Door Neighbors Part 25

"Didn't he say cla.s.sic, Huldah?" inquired Rob.

"Mebby. What's the difference?" snapped Huldah.

"None," I a.s.sured her quickly, dodging a definition.

"She told him--" began Emerald.

"You shut up," again adjured Huldah, "or I'll never bake you one of those small pies no more."

"Oh, please, Huldah," I coaxed. "Let us hear everything. I've always told you my life's secrets, and I don't mind what you or the boys told him."

"Well, I suppose what he was going to tattle was that I thought the old gent might feel hurt, 'cause none of them was named after him, so I told him Polly's middle name was Issachar."

"Why, Huldah," remonstrated Silvia.

"Well, he's always wanted a middle name, and he's never been baptized, so you can stick it in and have him ducked next Sunday and then that will square that. 'Them Three' stuck to him like a hive of bees, and I was scairt for fear they'd let the cat out of the bag, and so long as they had put it in, I thought it might just as well stay in, but they were just as slick as grease in all they said. They'll hang in that rogues' gallery yet."

"I suppose they were pretty--strenuous," said Silvia with a sigh.

"They was more than that. The first afternoon right after dinner when he was sitting on the front porch, sleeping peaceful and snoring, that there one--" pointing to Pythagoras--

"Tattle-tale!" he began, but I administered a cuff and he subsided into surprised silence.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "He went to the front window and dropped a young kitten down on the old gent's head."]

"He," said Huldah, looking pleased at this little attention to the boy, "went to the front window and dropped a young kitten down on the old gent's head. It clawed something fierce. We had just got things going smooth again when Emmy got one of his earaches. I roasted an onion and put in his ear, and what did he do but take it out of his ear and slip it down your poor uncle's back."

"Why didn't you beat them?" I asked indignantly.

"Because the old gent did that. He put 'em across his knee, and believe me, it was some licking they caught. They didn't let out a whimper and that pleased him."

"Huh!" said Emerald. "Thag don't know how to cry. He hasn't got any tears, and old Uncle Iz didn't hurt me, because, you see, when I heard Thag getting his, I went and stuffed the Declaration of Independence, that book of stepdaddy's that Demetrius tore the pictures out of, in my pants."

"Go on!" urged Rob delightedly. "What else did you all do? Uncle must have had some time. It would make a fine scenario. 'The first visit of the rich uncle.'"

"Well," resumed Huldah. "One of 'em put red pepper in the old man's bed, and he like to sneeze his head off, but he said as how sneezing was healthy, and showed you'd got rid of a cold."

"He never got on to the pepper," said Demetrius gleefully.

"In the morning, that second one put a toad in his new uncle's pocket, and Emmy broke his specs. Then Meetie he dropped his watch. They used his razor to cut the lawn with. And then they took him down to the creek to go fis.h.i.+ng, and they put the fish in Uncle's silk hat, and and----"

"Stop!" implored Silvia, who was now in tears. "Uncle Issachar believes them mine! Ours! And that I brought them up! Oh, why did we ever go away?"

"Oh, pshaw," exclaimed Huldah comfortingly, "he said you had brung them up fine; that they were no mollycoddles or Lizzie boys, and he didn't suppose you had so much sense as to leave them natural."

"A left-handed one for mudder," laughed Beth.

"He must be a very peculiar man--ready for the asylum, I should say,"

commented Rob.

"He would have been if he'd stayed any longer, or else I would have been," declared Huldah.

"Couldn't you make them behave, someway?" asked Silvia.

"Well, at first I tried to, and every time I pinched one of 'em when the old gent wasn't looking, or knocked 'em down when I got 'em alone, they would threaten to tell who they was, and then when I seen how your uncle liked the way they acted, I just let 'em go it, head on.

And seeing as how they each brung you five thousand, I've treated 'em best I know how. They're worth it, now. They done one thing more that was awful. Could you stand it to hear?" turning to Silvia.

"Please, Silvia," implored Rob.

"Well," argued Silvia faintly. "I suppose we might as well know the worst."

"You see the old gent didn't always get up to breakfast with the kids and one morning when I brought in the cakes Emmy looked up and grinned. I nearly dropped the plate. He had both sets of the old man's false teeth in his mouth. I got 'em back in his room without his waking, but I'd have liked a picture of Emmy."

"Pythagoras," I demanded, when we had recovered from this recital, "why didn't you tell him who you were, and how you all came to be here with us?"

"Because she is our mudder, and we are going to stay with her, always.

We've got a snap. So has father and mother. And Ptolemy told us that if you ever got any kids, you'd get five thousand each for them, and I thought we'd just make that much for you. So we played Uncle Iz for it. Easy money, all right, all right."

"Talk about fine financiering," quoth Rob. "'Them Three' will surely land on Wall Street."

But poor Silvia had no heart for humor and was weeping silently.

"Why, look here, my dear," I said in consolation, "this is a very simple matter to adjust. In the morning when you feel better, just write a full explanation of the affair and inclose your check for twenty-five thousand."

Silvia quickly wiped away her tears.

"I'll do it tonight, Lucien. I feel better now. I never thought of writing."

Huldah and "Them Three" looked most lugubrious.

"The old skinflint won't miss it as much as I would a penny," declared our faithful handmaiden. "And I'm sure you've earnt that twenty-five thousand if anyone ever did. You've had as much care and worry about them brats as you would if they'd been your own."

"Huldah," I said severely, "there is a pretty stiff penalty for obtaining money under false pretences."

"After all the pains we took to make things lively for him, so he wouldn't get bored and think he was having a poor time!" regretted Pythagoras.

"And us watching every word we spoke so as not to give it away,"

wailed Emerald.

"Cake's all dough," muttered Demetrius.

Ptolemy regarded the three disapprovingly. He had the old inscrutable look, the look that foreboded mischief, in his eyes.

"You bungled, you fool kids!" he said in disgust, "and Huldah, what did you want to let on to mudder for that he thought we was hers? You ought to have torn up the note he left and just said he'd put twenty-five thousand in the bank for her."

"Huh! you're just jealous because you weren't in the Uncle Izzy deal yourself," jeered Pythagoras. "You always think you're the only one that can do anything right."

"I wish you had been here, Polly," said Huldah, "I am sure you could have worked it through somehow."