A Righte Merrie Christmasse Part 3

_Ho-o-o-o-o-o-o yes, ho-o-o-o-o-o yes, ho-o-o-o-o-o yes;_

Any man or woman, whether Popish or Prelaticall, Superst.i.tious or Judaicall, or what person so ever, of any Tribe or Trullibub,[6] that can give any knowledge, or tell any tidings of an old, old, old, very old, grey-bearded Gentleman, called Christmas, who was wont to be a verie familiar ghest, and visite all sorts of people, both poor and rich, and used to appear in glittering gold silk and silver in the Court, and in all shapes in the Theater in Whitehall, and had ringing feasts and jollitie in all places, both in the Citie and Countrie for his comming; if you went to the Temple, you might have found him there at In and In, till many a Gentleman had outed all the mony from his pocket, and after all, the Butlers found him locked up in their Boxes: And in almost every house, you might have found him at Cards and Dice, the very boyes and children could have traced him and the Beggers have followed him from place to place, and seen him walking up and downe, and in every house roast Beefe and Mutton, Pies and Plum-porrige, and all manner of delicates round about him, and every one saluting merry Christmas: If you had gone to the Queene's Chappel, you might have found him standing against the wall, and the Papists weeping, and beating themselves before him, and kissing his h.o.a.ry head with superst.i.tious teares, in a theater exceeding all the plays of the Bull, the Fortune, and the c.o.c.k-pit.

[Footnote 6: This word has an indefinite meaning. Sometimes it is synonymous with entrails--as "tripes and trullibubs"; sometimes it is meant for something very trifling, and then is occasionally spelt "trillibubs." Why introduced here, no one can tell.]

"For age, this h.o.a.rie headed man was of great yeares, and as white as snow; he entred the Romish Kallender time out of mind; is old, or very neer, as _Father Mathusalem_ was; one that looked fresh in the Bishops' time, though their fall made him pine away ever since; he was full and fat as any dumb Docter of them all. He looked under the consecrated Laune sleeves as big as Bul-beefe--just like Bacchus upon a tunne of wine, when the grapes hang shaking about his eares; but, since the catholike liquor is taken from him, he is much wasted, so that he hath looked very thin and ill of late; but the wanton women that are so mad after him, do not know how he is metamorphised, so that he is not now like himselfe, but rather like Jack-a-lent.

"But yet some other markes that you may know him by, is that the wanton Women dote after him; he helped them to so many new Gownes, Hatts, and Hankerches, and other fine knacks, of which he hath a pack on his back, in which is good store of all sorts, besides the fine knacks that he got out of their husbands' pockets for household provisions for him. He got Prentises, Servants, and Schollars many play dayes, and therefore was well beloved by them also, and made all merry with Bagpipes, Fiddles, and other musicks, Giggs, Dances, and Mummings, yea, the young people had more merry dayes and houres before him whilst he stayd, which was in some houses 12 dayes, in some 20, in some more, in some lesse, than in all the yeare againe."

"All you, therefore, that by your diligent inquirie, can tell me anie tidings of this ould man called Christmas, and tell me where he may be met withall; whether in any of your streets, or elsewhere, though in never so straitned a place; in an Applewoman's staul or Grocer's Curren Tub, in a Cooke's Oven or the Maide's Porrige pot, or crept into some corner of a Translater's shop, where the Cobler was wont so merrily to chant his Carolls; whosoever can tel what is become of him, or where he may be found, let them bring him back againe into England, to the Crier, and they shall have a Benediction from the Pope, an hundred oaths from the Cavaliers, 40 kisses from the Wanton Wenches, and be made Pursevant to the next Arch Bishop. Malignants will send him a piece of Braune, and everie Prentice boy will give him his point (? _pint of wine_) next holie Thursday, the good Wives will keepe him in some corners of their mince pies, and the new Nuncio Ireland will returne him to be canonized the next Reformation of the Calender.

"_And so Pope save Christmas._

"_Cryer_--Lady, I am come to tell you what returne I can make you of the crying of old Father Christmas, which I have done, and am now here to give you an answer.

"_Lady_--Well said, honest Cryer, Mr. Woodc.o.c.k will remember you for it.

"_Cryer_--The poor old man upon St. Thomas his day was arraigned, condemned, and after conviction cast into prison amongst the King's Souldiers; fearing to be hanged, or some other execution to be done upon him, and got out at so narrow a pa.s.sage, between two Iron Bars of a Window, that nothing but onely his old gray beard and h.o.a.rie haire of his head stuck there, but nothing else to be seen of him; and, if you will have that, compound for it, lest it be sold among the sequestred goods, or burnt with the next Popish pictures, by the hand of the hangman.

"_Lady_--But is old, old, good old Christmas gone? Nothing but the hair of his good, grave old head and beard left! Well I will have that, seeing I cannot have more of him, one lock whereof will serve _Mr. Woodc.o.c.k_ for a token. But what is the event of his departure?

"_Cryer_--The poor are sory for it, for they go to every door a-begging as they were wont to do (_Good Mrs., somewhat against this good Time_); but Time was transformed (_Away, begone, here is not for you_); and so they, instead of going to the Ale-house to be drunk, were fain to work all the Holidayes. The Schollers came into the Hall, where their hungry stomacks had thought to have found good Brawn and Christmas pies, Roast Beef and Plum-porridge; but no such matter.

Away, ye prophane, these are superst.i.tious meats; your stomacks must be fed with wholesome doctrine. Alas, poor tallow-faced Chandlers, I met them mourning through the streets, and complaining that they could get no vent for their Mustard, for want of Brawn.

"_Lady_--Well, if ever the Catholiques or Bishops rule again in England, they will set the Church dores open on Christmas day, and we shall have Ma.s.se at the High Altar, as was used when the day was first inst.i.tuted, and not have the holy Eucharist barred out of School, as School boyes do their Masters against the festival![7] What! shall we have our mouths shut to welcome old Christmas? No, no, bid him come by night over the Thames, and we will have a back door open to let him in. I will, myself, give him his diet for one year, to try his fortune this time twelve month, it may prove better."

[Footnote 7: This Saturnalia of barring out the Schoolmaster at Christmas--just before breaking up--was in use certainly as late as 1888. Vide _Notes and Queries_, 7th series, vol. vi. p. 484.]

CHAPTER V

The popular love of Christmas--Riots at Ealing and Canterbury--Evelyn's Christmas days, 1652 '3 '4 '5 '7--Cromwell and Christ-tide--The Restoration--Pepys and Christmas day, 1662--"The Examination and Tryal of old Father Christmas."

And this was the general feeling. Parliament might sit, as we learn by _The Kingdome's Weekly Intelligencer_, No. 152: "Thursday, December 25, vulgarly known by the name of Christmas Day, both Houses sate. The House of Commons, more especially, debated some things in reference to the privileges of that House, and made some orders therein." But the ma.s.s of the people quietly protested against this way of ignoring Christ-tide, and notwithstanding the a.s.sembly of Divines and Parliament, no shops were open in London on that day, in spite of the article published in No. 135 of _Mercurius Civicus, or London's Intelligencer_, which explained the absurdity of keeping Christmas day, and ordained that all shops should be opened, and that the shopkeepers should see that their apprentices were at work on that day. If they needed a holiday, "let them keep the fift of November, and other dayes of that nature, or the late great mercy of G.o.d in the taking of Hereford, which deserves an especiall day of thanks giving."

It would not so much have mattered if all the Puritans had followed the example of George Fox, the founder of Quakerism, who, "when the time called Christmas came, when others were feasting and sporting themselves, went from house to house seeking out the poor and desolate, and giving them money."

Parliament, although they did their best by public example to do away with it, sitting every Christmas day from 1644 to 1656, could not extinguish the deep-rooted feeling in favour of its being kept up in the old-fas.h.i.+oned way, and, in London, at Christmas 1646, those who opened their shops were very roughly used, so much so that in 1647 they asked the Parliament to protect them in future. Certainly, in that year, the shops were all closed, but the irrepressible love of Christmas could not be controlled, and the porters of Cornhill bedecked the conduit with "Ivy, Rosmary, and Bays," and similar decorations were exhibited in other parts of the City--a proceeding which sorely exercised the Lord Mayor and the City Marshal, who rode about, with their followings, setting fire to the harmless green stuff--the doing of which occasioned great mirth among the Royalist party.

There were riots about the keeping of Christmas in several parts of the country--notably one at Ealing, in Middles.e.x; but there was a famous one at Canterbury,[8] the particulars of which are given in a short tract, which I here reprint, as it shows the feeling in the country:

[Footnote 8: "Canterbury Christmas; or, A True Relation of the Insurrection in Canterbury on Christmas Day last, with the great hurt that befell divers persons thereby."]

"Upon Wednesday, _Decem._ 22, the Cryer of _Canterbury_ by the appointment of Master _Major_,[9] openly proclaimed that Christmas day, and all other Superst.i.tious Festivals should be put downe, and that a Market should be kept upon _Christmas day_.

[Footnote 9: Mayor.]

"Which not being observed (but very ill taken by the Country) the towne was thereby unserved with provision, and trading very much hindered; which occasioned great discontent among the people, caused them to rise in a Rebellious way.

"The _Major_ being slighted, and his Commands observed only of a few who opened their Shops, to the number of 12 at the most: They were commanded by the mult.i.tude to shut up again, but refusing to obey, their ware was thrown up and down, and they, at last, forced to shut in.

"The _Major_ and his a.s.sistants used their best endeavours to qualifie this tumult, but the fire being once kindled, was not easily quenched.

"The _Sheriffe_ laying hold of a fellow, was stoutly resisted; which the _Major_ perceiving, took a Cudgell, and strook the man: who, being now puny, pulled up his courage, and knockt down the _Major_, whereby his Cloak was much torne and durty, besides the hurt he received.

"The _Major_ hereupon made strict Proclamation for keeping the Peace, and that every man depart to his own house.

"The mult.i.tude hollowing thereat, in disorderly manner; the _Aldermen_ and _Constables_ caught two or three of the rout, and sent them to the Jaile, but they soon broke loose, and Jeered Master _Alderman_.

"Soone after, issued forth the Commanders of this Rabble, with an addition of Souldiers, into the high street, and brought with them two Foot-b.a.l.l.s, whereby their company increased. Which the _Major_ and _Aldermen_ perceiving, took what prisoners they had got, and would have carried them to the Jayle. But the mult.i.tude following after to the _King's Bench_, were opposed by Captain _Bridg_, who was straight knoct down, and had his head broke in two places, not being able to withstand the mult.i.tude, who, getting betwixt him and the Jayle, rescued their fellowes, and beat the _Major_ and _Aldermen_ into their houses, and then cried _Conquest_.

"Where, leaving them to breath a while, they went to one _White's_, a Barber (a man noted to be a busie fellow), whose windowes they pulled downe to the ground: The like they did to divers others, till night overtook them, and they were forced to depart, continuing peaceable the next day, it being the Saboth.

"On _Munday_ morning, the Mult.i.tude comming, the Major set a strong watch with Muskets and Holbards in the City, both at the Gates and at _S. Andrews_ Church, the Captaine of the Guard was _White_ the Barber.

"Till noon, they were quiet, then came one _Joyce_, a Hackney man, whom _White_ bid stand, the fellow asked what the matter was, and withall called him _Roundhead_; whereat _White_ being moved, c.o.c.ked his Pistoll and would have shot him, but the Major wisht him to hold: Neverthelesse he shot, and the fellow fell down, but was not dead.

Whence arose a sudden clamour that a man was murdered, whereupon the people came forth with clubs, and the _Major_ and _Aldermen_ made haste away; the Towne rose againe, and the Country came in, took possession of the Gates, and made enquiry for _White_; they found him in a hay loft, where they broke his head, and drag'd him in the streets, setting open the Prison dores and releasing those that were in hold.

"Next, they vowed vengeance on the _Major_, pulling up his posts, breaking his windowes; but, at last, being perswaded by Sir _William Man_, Master _Lovelise_, Master _Harris_, and Master _Purser_, had much adoe to persuade them from taking of his Person; so came tumultuously into the high street, and their demands were so high, that those Gentlemen could not perswade them. Afterward, meeting Master _Burly_, the Town Clark, demanded the Keyes of the Prison from him, which, being granted, they, with those Gentlemen formerly named, went again to the Town Hall to Treat, and came to an agreement, which was, that forty or fifty of their own men should keep the Town that night, being compleatly armed, which being performed (the morning issued) and they continued in arms till Tuesday morning: There are none as yet dead, but diverse dangerously hurt.

"Master _Sheriffe_ taking _White's_ part, and striving to keep the Peace, was knockt down, and his head fearfully broke; it was G.o.d's mercy his braines were not beat out, but it should seem he had a clung[10] pate of his own.

[Footnote 10: Tough or strong.]

"They went also without S. _George's_ gate, and did much injury to Mr.

_Lee_.

"As I am credibly informed, the injuries done are these.

"They have beat down all the windowes of Mr. _Major's_ House, burnt the Stoups at the comming in of his dore, Master _Reeves'_ Windowes were broke, Master _Page_, and Master _Pollen_, one _Buchurst_, Captaine _Bridge_, _Thomas Harris_, a busie prating fellow, and others were sorely wounded.

"It is Ordered that _Richard White_ and _Robert Hues_, being in fetters, be tryed according to the Law, and upon faire Composition, the mult.i.tude have delivered their Armes into the Hands of the City, upon engagements of the best of the City that no man shall further question or trouble them."

On this Christmas day, Parliament,[11] "on Sat.u.r.day, December 25th, commonly called Christmas day, received some complaints of the countenancing of malignant ministers in some parts of London, where they preach and use the Common Prayer Book, contrary to the order of Parliament, and some delinquent Ministers have power given them to examine and punish churchwardens, sequestrators, and others that do countenance delinquent ministers to preach, and commit them, if they see cause; upon which some were taken into Custody." One instance of this is given in Whitelocke's _Memorials_ (p. 286). "Mr. Harris, a Churchwarden of St. Martius, ordered to be committed for bringing delinquents to preach there, and to be displaced from his office of Churchwarden."

[Footnote 11: Rushworth's _Historical Collections_, pt. iv. vol. ii.

p. 944.]

And so it went on, the Parliament and Nonconformists doing their best to suppress Christ-tide, and the populace stubbornly refusing to submit, as is shown in a letter from Sir Thomas Gower to Mr. John Langley, on December 28, 1652.[12] "There is little worth writing, most of the time being spent in endeavouring to take away the esteem held of Christmas Day, to which end, order was made that whoever would open shops should be protected by the State; yet I heard of no more than two who did so, and one of them had better have given 50, his wares were so dirtyed; and secondly, that no sermons should be preached, which was observed (for aught I hear) save at Lincoln's Inn."

[Footnote 12: Hist. MSS. Commission Reports, v. p. 192.]

Evelyn, who was a staunch Episcopalian, writes in deep despondency as to the keeping of Christ-tide. "1652, Dec. 25, Christmas day, no Sermon any where, no church being permitted to be open, so observed it at home. The next day, we went to Lewisham, where an honest divine preached." "1653, Dec. 25, Christmas-day. No churches, or public a.s.sembly. I was fain to pa.s.s the devotions of that Blessed day with my family at home." "1654, Dec. 25, Christmas-day. No public offices in Churches, but penalties on observers, so as I was constrained to celebrate it at home."