Mr. Punch On Tour Part 1

Mr. Punch On Tour.

by Various.

THE HUMOUR OF TRAVEL

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There is nothing insular about MR. PUNCH. Judging by his features, familiar though these be and long as they have been typical of English humour, he is not without some trace of foreign origin. Indeed, we fancy that were a very searching enquiry to be made into his ancestry we might find he had a far-off forebear who was, let us say, Italian! Perhaps we have here the explanation of his breadth of mind and wide sympathy which, however deeply rooted in the good soil of old England, are by no means absolutely delimited by our coast line.

It is thus that we find him consistently the best of travelling companions, for there is none he is more ready to castigate with the whip of his satire than the insular Englishman abroad. This is as it should be, and in these days of the _entente cordiale_ especially, when the inducements to Continental travel are steadily increasing, all patriotic Englishmen are anxious that their fellow-countrymen should give as good an account of themselves as possible when visiting the fair lands of our friends across the silver streak.

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MR. PUNCH, while always ready to stand for English ideals of right and fair-dealing, has equally endeavoured throughout his long career to show that all the good manners of Europe are not to be found on the Continent. But above all, wherever he goes, let his travels be within those green isles where he reigns as king of fun or as far afield as the land of the Sphinx, he diffuses that good humour which is the essential characteristic of the Englishman and adds so much to the joy of life.

The present collection, ill.u.s.trative of the humours of travel at home and abroad, certainly does not bear out the ancient criticism as to the English taking their pleasures sadly. Like many another book in this same library it proves rather that they take their misadventures joyously.

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MR. PUNCH ON TOUR

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MRS. RAMSBOTHAM IN ROME.--When Mrs. R. was in Rome she insisted on the guide taking her and her party to see the Papal Bulls of which she had always heard so much. "I suppose," she said, "they're kept on some farm, and are exhibited for prizes just like the King's or the Prince of Wales'." The worthy lady added that she couldn't help laughing to think what a mistake she made in Holland when she was taken to see "Paul Potter's Bull," which turned out to be only a picture.

A CURIOUS LANDSCAPE FEATURE OBSERVABLE AT MONTE CARLO IN THE EARLY SPRING.--Blue Rocks.

HINTS TO TOURISTS

If you are put with a friend in a double-bedded room, bear in mind that inside walls are only lath and plaster, and that every word you say will be heard in the next room. Therefore carry on your conversation at the tip-top of your voice, and make as much noise as you can in packing, and in splas.h.i.+ng, and in stumping round your room.

Always give to beggars who waylay you on the road, and if you know their language, accompany your gift with a little stagey speech to the effect that all we English have more money than we know how to spend, and it is our duty when we travel to succour the distressed. This will mightily encourage the impostors in their trade, and engender a great nuisance for tourists who are poorer or less foolish than yourself.

SHE MEANT NOTHING WRONG.--_Curate to American Visitor._ How do you like our church, Mrs. Golightly? It is very generally admired.

_Mrs. Golightly._ Yes, it's very pretty, but if it only had a clock fitted on the tower, it would be _useful_ as well as ornamental.

[Ill.u.s.tration: TACTFUL SYMPATHY

_Genial Friend._ "Hullo, old man, getting on all right?"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: Our artist, while staying in the country, thinks it would be a good opportunity for studying _calves_.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Yachting Man._ "Well, I always said you were a plucky fellow, Splinter; but really, now, I did not give you credit----"

_Splinter_ (_not displeased_). "How do you mean?"

_Yachting Man._ "Why, with your spars, to put out in such a gale o' wind as this."]

TRAVELLERS' TALES

_First Traveller_ (_in the smoking-room_). I think the most marvellous sight I ever saw was when I was crossing the Bight of Benin. You know the Bight?

_Second Traveller._ Perfectly. Shot two sea-serpents there last year.

_Third Traveller._ I landed hard by when I cycled across Africa.

_First Traveller._ Well, it was there we sighted a man who had crossed from Buenos Ayres on a hen-coop, with a cotton umbrella for a sail, and----

_Other Travellers_ (_jealously in chorus_). Oh! Come, I say!

_Quiet Man_ (_in corner_). Oh, I'll vouch for the truth of the a.s.sertion.

_First Traveller_ (_nettled_). How's that?

_Quiet Man._ Why, _I_ was the man.

[_Company disperses._

NEXT BEST THING TO THE PERSIAN LOCOMOTIVE CARPET OF EASTERN FABLE.--The "Travelling Rug" of Western fact.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Brown, who has had a hard day sight-seeing, in Tunis, goes to a cafe for a quiet drink and rest. Result!]

A HAPPY HOLIDAY

Now I really do not care a Hang about the Riviera, In the daytime you've a gay time, But the nights are very cold.