The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg, and Other Stories Part 49

M. (Aside.) Oh, how perfect! how elegant!

A. (Aside.) Per-fectly enchanting!

JOYOUS CHORUS. (All) Ich habe gehabt, du hast gehabt, er hat gehabt, wir haben gehabt, ihr habet gehabt, sie haben gehabt.

(GRETCHEN faints, and tumbles from her chair, and the gun goes off with a crash. Each girl, frightened, seizes the protecting hand of her sweetheart. GRETCHEN scrambles up. Tableau.)

W. (Takes out some money--beckons Gretchen to him. George adds money to the pile.) Hubsches Madchen (giving her some of the coins), hast Du etwas gesehen?

GR. (Courtesy--aside.) Der Engel! (Aloud--impressively.) Ich habe nichts gesehen.

W. (More money.) Hast Du etwas gehort?

GR. Ich habe nichts gehort.

W. (More money.) Und morgen?

GR. Morgen--ware es nothig--bin ich taub und blind.

W. Unvergleichbares Madchen! Und (giving the rest of the money) darnach?

GR. (Deep courtesy--aside.) Erzengel! (Aloud.) Darnach, mein gnadgister, betrachten Sie mich also taub--blind--todt!

ALL. (In chorus--with reverent joy.) Ich habe gehabt, du hast gehabt, er hat gehabt, wir haben gehabt, ihr habet gehabt, sie haben gehabt!

ACT III.

Three weeks later.

SCENE I.

Enter GRETCHEN, and puts her shawl on a chair. Brus.h.i.+ng around with the traditional feather-duster of the drama. Smartly dressed, for she is prosperous.

GR. Wie hatte man sich das vorstellen konnen! In nur drei Wochen bin ich schon reich geworden! (Gets out of her pocket handful after handful of silver, which she piles on the table, and proceeds to repile and count, occasionally ringing or biting a piece to try its quality.) Oh, da.s.s (with a sigh) die Frau Wirthin nur ewig krank bliebe!... Diese edlen jungen Manner--sie sind ja so liebenswurdig! Und so fleissig!--und so treu! Jeden Morgen kommen sie gerade um drei Viertel auf neun; und plaudern und schwatzen, und plappern, und schnattern, die jungen Damen auch; um Schlage zwolf nehmen sie Abschied; um Sclage eins kommen sie schon wieder, und plauden und schwatzen und plappern und schnattern; gerade um sechs Uhr nehmen sie wiederum Abschied; um halb acht kehren sie noche'mal zuruck, und plaudern und schwatzen und plappern und schnattern bis zehn Uhr, oder vielleicht ein Viertel nach, falls ihre Uhren nach gehen (und stets gehen sie nach am Ende des Besuchs, aber stets vor Beginn desselben), und zuweilen unterhalten sich die jungen Leute beim Spazierengehen; und jeden Sonntag gehen sie dreimal in die Kirche; und immer plaudern sie, und schwatzen und plappern und schnattern bis ihnen die Zahne aus dem Munde fallen. Und ich? Durch Mangel an Uebung, ist mir die Zunge mit Moos belegt worden! Freilich ist's mir eine dumme Zei gewesen. Aber--um Gotteswillen, was geht das mir an? Was soll ich daraus machen? Taglich sagt die Frau Wirthin, 'Gretchen' (dumb-show of paying a piece of money into her hand), 'du bist eine der besten Sprach--Lehrerinnen der Welt!' Act, Gott!

Und taglich sagen die edlen jungen Manner, 'Gretchen, liebes Kind' (money-paying again in dumb-show--three coins), 'bleib'

taub--blind--todt!' und so bleibe ich.... Jetzt wird es ungefahr neun Uhr sein; bald kommen sie vom Spaziergehen zuruck. Also, es ware gut da.s.s ich meinem eigenen Schatz einen Besuch abstatte und spazieren gehe.

(Dons her shawl. Exit. L.)

Enter WIRTHIN. R.

WIRTHIN. That was Mr. Stephenson's train that just came in. Evidently the girls are out walking with Gretchen;--can't find them, and she doesn't seem to be around. (A ring at the door.) That's him. I'll go see. (Exit. R.)

Enter STEPHENSON and WIRTHIN. R.

S. Well, how does sickness seem to agree with you?

WIRTHIN. So well that I've never been out of my room since, till I heard your train come in.

S. Thou miracle of fidelity! Now I argue from that, that the new plan is working.

WIRTHIN. Working? Mr. Stephenson, you never saw anything like it in the whole course of your life! It's absolutely wonderful the way it works.

S. Succeeds? No--you don't mean it.

WIRTHIN. Indeed I do mean it. I tell you, Mr. Stephenson, that plan was just an inspiration--that's what it was. You could teach a cat German by it.

S. Dear me, this is n.o.ble news! Tell me about it.

WIRTHIN. Well, it's all Gretchen--ev-ery bit of it. I told you she was a jewel. And then the sagacity of that child--why, I never dreamed it was in her. Sh-she, 'Never you ask the young ladies a question--never let on--just keep mum--leave the whole thing to me,' sh-she.

S. Good! And she justified, did she?

WIRTHIN. Well, sir, the amount of German gabble that that child crammed into those two girls inside the next forty-eight hours--well, I was satisfied! So I've never asked a question--never wanted to ask any. I've just lain curled up there, happy. The little dears! they've flitted in to see me a moment, every morning and noon and supper-time; and as sure as I'm sitting here, inside of six days they were clattering German to me like a house afire!

S. Sp-lendid, splendid!

WIRTHIN. Of course it ain't grammatical--the inventor of the language can't talk grammatical; if the dative didn't fetch him the accusative would; but it's German all the same, and don't you forget it!

S. Go on--go on--this is delicious news--

WIRTHIN. Gretchen, she says to me at the start, 'Never you mind about company for 'em,' sh-she--'I'm company enough.' And I says, 'All right--fix it your own way, child;' and that she was right is shown by the fact that to this day they don't care a straw for any company but hers.

S. Dear me; why, it's admirable!

WIRTHIN. Well, I should think so! They just dote on that hussy--can't seem to get enough of her. Gretchen tells me so herself. And the care she takes of them! She tells me that every time there's a moonlight night she coaxes them out for a walk; and if a body can believe her, she actually bullies them off to church three times every Sunday!

S. Why, the little dev--missionary! Really, she's a genius!

WIRTHIN. She's a bud, I tell you! Dear me, how she's brought those girls' health up! Cheeks?--just roses. Gait?--they walk on watch-springs! And happy?--by the bliss in their eyes, you'd think they're in Paradise! Ah, that Gretchen! Just you imagine our trying to achieve these marvels!

S. You're right--every time. Those girls--why, all they'd have wanted to know was what we wanted done, and then they wouldn't have done it--the mischievous young rascals!

WIRTHIN. Don't tell me? Bless you, I found that out early--when I was bossing.

S. Well, I'm im-mensely pleased. Now fetch them down. I'm not afraid now. They won't want to go home.

WIRTHIN. Home! I don't believe you could drag them away from Gretchen with nine span of horses. But if you want to see them, put on your hat and come along; they're out somewhere trapseing along with Gretchen.

(Going.)

S. I'm with you--lead on.

WIRTHIN. We'll go out the side door. It's towards the Anlage. (Exit both. L.)