Pucked: Pucked Over Part 30

Once they're gone, we order takeout, change into comfy clothes, and get back to drinking wine.

A little while later, Violet's sprawled out on the floor, rubbing her belly after plowing through an entire box of chicken b.a.l.l.s. "I hope these digest before Alex gets back, otherwise I might have to backtrack on the blowy tonight."

Charlene snorts. "Nothing screams s.e.xy like puking on a d.i.c.k."

"Has that happened to you?" Sunny asks, eyes wide.

"No. Thank G.o.d." Violet pulls a face. "But it might if my stomach doesn't settle down soon. You don't think there was dairy in any of this, do you?"

"It's Chinese food. I don't think they do dairy," Charlene replies. "You ate too much."

"I totally did." Violet nods.

"Once I choked on Kale's hair," Sunny says. Her nose crinkles. Anything related to her ex-boyfriend, Kale, warrants that reaction.

Violet props herself up on an elbow. "You mean a ball hair?"

"Ew. No. I never would have put Kale's b.a.l.l.s in my mouth. They were way too hairy."

"So, like, you mean his bush? Didn't he trim?"

"No. I'm talking about shaft hair. It got caught in the back of my throat. It was so gross."

Talking about Kale makes me think about Benji and his similar lack of grooming in the d.i.c.k department.

"Hold the phone." Violet puts out a hand. "He had shaft hair. Like hair on the shaft of his p.e.n.i.s."

"Uh-huh." Sunny nods. "Miller's so good about maintenance, though. I don't mind sucking on his b.a.l.l.s at all."

Violet spits out her wine. "Can we not talk about Buck's b.a.l.l.s?"

Sunny shrugs. "I'm just saying. It's nice. And Miller loves b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs. He says I'm awesome at them, and he always eats my cookie afterward because he appreciates it so much."

Charlene is laughing so hard she's curled in a ball holding her stomach. Violet looks a little green, but I can't tell if it's because she ate too much, she's had too much to drink, or because Sunny's talking about blowing Miller. Again.

"What about you, Lily? You like sucking on b.a.l.l.s' b.a.l.l.s?" Violet's snickering so much that her wine sloshes over the side of her gla.s.s and lands on her b.o.o.bs. She frowns and rubs at it, then looks up at me expectantly.

"Uhhh ..."

"Come on, you don't have to be shy. We've all watched you come," she adds.

I guess it's meant to be encouraging. Mostly it's embarra.s.sing. There are lots of things I've shared with Sunny over the years, but a front-row seat to my o.r.g.a.s.m wasn't one of the things I ever intended to put on the list. I puff out a breath. "Well... uh, I've never given him a b.l.o.w. .j.o.b."

Everyone goes silent. I lift my eyes from my gla.s.s to find them all staring at me. I gulp my wine.

"How have you managed to get away with that?" Charlene asks.

"It's not like I haven't offered, he just... I don't know... Maybe it's not his thing?" I have no idea what to say to this.

"Not his thing? Every guy likes b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs." Violet seems mystified.

Charlene and Sunny both nod in agreement.

I lift one shoulder and then down the remaining contents of my gla.s.s. I jump up off the couch. "I need more wine. Anyone else need more wine?"

"We need to talk about this," Violet says.

"I think we all need more wine," Charlene says. "Especially if Violet thinks we need to talk b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs." Charlene puts a hand on Sunny's. "I'm sorry for the things you're about to hear. I know they pertain to your brother, and it's probably going to be disturbing. I have the name of a great therapist if you happen to need one later."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Alex and I are close, and Violet does this every time we hang out. I'm used to it."

Charlene gives Sunny another sympathetic hand pat and sits back in her chair, her eyebrows raised in my direction. "So, like, do you mean he hasn't come in your mouth? Is he more of a pearl necklace kind of guy?"

Sunny raises her hand. I think it's an unconscious reaction. "Um. What do necklaces have to do with b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs?"

I'm grateful she asks the question, as I don't have the guts to.

Violet looks from me to Sunny and back again. Then she glances at Charlene. "You know what a pearl necklace is, right?"

Charlene rolls her eyes. "Of course."

"Just checking." Her gaze flips back to me. "Are you two telling me you're unfamiliar with pearl necklaces?"

Sunny and I nod. I feel like we've been missing out on a lot over these important, formative years when s.e.xual knowledge and discovery peak. Sunny's clearly rectifying that now. So it's just me, all by myself, with my casual-s.e.x hockey friend who apparently doesn't like b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs. Which I now suspect is weird, along with some of his other s.e.xual quirks-like lights off and covers on. Why does he want to cover up all that hotness, anyway?

Violet grins. It's a horrible, devious smile on her beautiful, evil face. She twists her ponytail around her hand. "You get the guy's j.i.z.z all over your chest and throat."

I must make a face.

"Don't knock it 'til you try it. Alex gets so excited when I let him come on my b.o.o.bs. Then he goes down on me; it's awesome. And sometimes I'm too sore to deal with the monster c.o.c.k. Also, j.i.z.z tastes awful, so letting him come all over my chest is a decent option."

Sunny's horror is understandable. I can't blame her. That's a lot of information about Alex she didn't need.

"So I'm guessing b.a.l.l.s isn't a pearl necklace kind of guy. Hmm. Maybe he thinks he'll choke you with his d.i.c.k if the rumors are true." At my lack of confirmation or denial, she continues. "Based on his issue after your make-out session, I'm guessing it is." She taps her lips with a sparkly finger. "It's considerate, if you think about it-the not wanting you to choke on his d.i.c.k part."

I shrug. "But you don't think it's normal for a guy not to want a b.l.o.w. .j.o.b if it's offered?"

I'm met with more silence and stares. Violet pulls out her phone and starts typing.

"What are you doing?" Charlene asks.

"Calling Alex."

"What? Why?" I rush to stop her, but she rolls over the back of the couch. It'd be graceful if she didn't land on her a.s.s.

She pops back up, grinning. "Hey, baby!"

She has him on video, so we can all hear and see him. "Are you drunk?" he asks.

"You bet your Super MC I am. When you guys get back from your fun night, my beaver's gonna devour your wood, like whoa."

"I don't think my sister needs to know that."

"She doesn't care. Anyway, I have a question."

"Fire away."

"Do you like b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs?"

"Uhhh..."

"It's not a trick question. Answer yes or no. Do you like b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs?"

"Of course I like b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs."

"Great. Thanks. Give the phone to Buck."

"But-"

"Do it and I'll lollipop your d.i.c.k later."

There's some chatter in the background, then Buck's face appears on the screen. "Buck. Quick question. Do you like b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs?"

"f.u.c.k, yeah. Sunny's mouth is the best." There's a loud noise. "f.u.c.k! Waters, get off me!"

"Put Lance on the phone."

There's some more clattering and loud noise before the phone is finally pa.s.sed to Lance. Violet has to calm Alex down by pointing out he's a hypocrite to get mad at Miller for liking BJs.

Lance's strawberry-blond hair pops into view. "You don't even need to repeat the question. The answer is definitely yes. I'd give up pizza for the rest of my life if I could get a daily b.l.o.w. .j.o.b."

"Good luck finding a mail-order bride to fulfill that dream. Put Darren on the phone."

Darren shows up next. Violet asks the same question. Darren's wearing that dark, secret smile again. "Charlene can answer that."

"Awesome. We already know you love to pearl-necklace my bestie."

I glance at Charlene, who's blus.h.i.+ng. "What is it about the quiet ones?"

"You have no idea," she says with a similar devious grin.

Violet rolls her eyes. "Pa.s.s the phone to b.a.l.l.s, Mr. Grey."

There's a round of snickers. I don't even want to know if that's a joke. I step out of view so Randy can't see me, but I can still see him.

"b.a.l.l.s." Violet punctuates his name with a single hip thrust. "Do you like b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs?"

His hand comes up to run through his hair, his forearm and biceps flexing. "They're all right, I guess."

"They're all right? All right? Are you telling me that having a woman's lips wrapped around your c.o.c.k while you f.u.c.k her mouth doesn't do it for you?"

Randy goes sideways for a second before Alex's face appears on the screen. "Violet, baby, you can't say things like that to other guys. Ever. Not ever. 'Kay?"

We hear Buck laughing in the background.

"Is this about your Frankenweiner, Ballistic?" That sounds like Lance.

"Shut the f.u.c.k up, man!" There's a loud crash. "That's under the d.a.m.n cone."

"Hey! You're gonna get us kicked out!" Alex yells. His face reappears. "I gotta go. Ballistic and Romero are about to rip each other's heads off. See you in a bit, babe." The screen goes blank, and everyone looks to me.

Violet raises a brow. "Frankenweiner?"

I shrug. "I don't know what that means."

"Well, you've seen his d.i.c.k, right? Does it look normal? Is it ma.s.sive like Alex's? I mean, he's monstrous." She hold up her arm and points to her wrist. "Thicker than this, that's for sure."

"Violet." Charlene kicks her.

"What?"

"Sunny's here."

"What does that matter? I'm sure she's accidentally seen his junk at some point. I mean, I know what Buck's looks like, even though I don't want to." Violet's drunk. She gets louder as she gains momentum. "Besides, didn't you go into Alex's room and steal his condom stash, Sunny? You gotta know he's packing a ma.s.sive cannon-not to mention all the years he spent in spandex."

Sunny just shrugs.

"Anyway, it's not Alex's d.i.c.k that matters; it's Randy's. Back to that. So, what's so Franken-y about it?"

They're staring at me intently. "I-I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Is the head a weird shape? Oh my G.o.d! Does Randy have a d.i.c.k piercing?"

"He doesn't have a d.i.c.k piercing." I would've felt that.

"Too bad. I've heard those are awesome. So what's the deal?" She gestures for me to continue.

I shrug. "I've never seen it."

I get three blank looks in response.

"It's always dark."

"Dark? Really? Huh. But you've, like, held it, right?"

"Well, yeah, of course."

"So did it have nodules or a serious curve?"