The Young Duke Part 41

'Nothing to do with his youth. It's the system, the infernal system. If that man had to work for his bread, like everybody else, do you think he would dine off bank notes? No! to be sure he wouldn't! It's the system.'

'Young people are very wild!' said the widow.

'Pooh! ma'am. Nonsense! Don't talk cant. If a man be properly educated, he is as capable at one-and-twenty of managing anything, as at any time in his life; more capable. Look at the men who write "The Screw and Lever;" the first men in the country. Look at them. Not one of age.

Look at the man who wrote this article on the aristocracy: young Duncan Macmorrogh. Look at him, I say, the first man in the country by far.'

'I never heard his name before,' calmly observed the Duke.

'Not heard his name? Not heard of young Duncan Macmorrogh, the first man of the day, by far; not heard of him? Go and ask the Marquess of Sheepshead what he thinks of him. Go and ask Lord Two and Two what he thinks of him. Duncan dines with Lord Two and Two every week.'

The Duke smiled, and his companion proceeded.

'Well, again, look at his friends. There is young First Principles.

What a head that fellow has got! Here, this article on India is by him.

He'll knock up their Charter. He is a clerk in the India House. Up to the detail, you see. Let me read you this pa.s.sage on monopolies. Then there is young Tribonian Quirk. By G--, what a mind that fellow has got!

By G--, nothing but first principles will go down with these fellows! They laugh at anything else. By G--, sir, they look upon the administration of the present day as a parcel of sucking babes! When I was last in town, Quirk told me that he would not give that for all the public men that ever existed! He is keeping his terms at Gray's Inn.

This article on a new Code is by him. Shows as plain as light, that, by sticking close to first principles, the laws of the country might be carried in every man's waistcoat pocket.'

The coach stopped, and a colloquy ensued.

'Any room to Selby?'

'Outside or in?'

'Out, to be sure.'

'Room inside only.'

'Well! in then.'

The door opened, and a singularly quaint-looking personage presented himself. He was very stiff and prim in his appearance; dressed in a blue coat and scarlet waistcoat, with a rich bandanna handkerchief tied very neatly round his neck, and a very new hat, to which his head seemed little habituated.

'Sorry to disturb you, ladies and gentlemen: not exactly the proper place for me. Don't be alarmed. I'm always respectful wherever I am. My rule through life is to be respectful.'

'Well, now, in with you,' said the guard.

'Be respectful, my friend, and don't talk so to an old soldier who has served his king and his country.'

Off they went.

'Majesty's service?' asked the stranger of the Duke.

'I have not that honour.'

'Hum! Lawyer, perhaps?'

'Not a lawyer.'

'Hum! A gentleman, I suppose?'

The Duke was silent; and so the stranger addressed himself to the anti-aristocrat, who seemed vastly annoyed by the intrusion of so low a personage.

'Going to London, sir?'

'I tell you what, my friend, at once; I never answer impertinent questions.'

'No offence, I hope, sir! Sorry to offend. I'm always respectful. Madam!

I hope I don't inconvenience you; I should be sorry to do that. We sailors, you know, are always ready to accommodate the ladies.'

'Sailor!' exclaimed the acute utilitarian, his curiosity stifling his hauteur. 'Why! just now, I thought you were a soldier.'

'Well! so I am.'

'Well, my friend, you are a conjuror then.'

'No, I ayn't; I'm a marine.'

'A very useless person, then.'

'What do you mean?'

'I mean to say, that if the sailors were properly educated, such an amphibious corps would never have been formed, and some of the most atrocious sinecures ever tolerated would consequently not have existed.'

'Sinecures! I never heard of him. I served under Lord Combermere. Maybe you have heard of him, ma'am? A nice man; a beautiful man. I have seen him stand in a field like that, with the shot falling about him like hail, and caring no more for them than peas.'

'If that were for bravado,' said the utilitarian, 'I think it a very silly thing.'

'Bravado! I never heard of him. It was for his king and country.'

'Was it in India?' asked the widow.

'In a manner, ma'am,' said the marine, very courteously. 'At Bhurtpore, up by Pershy, and thereabouts; the lake of Cashmere, where all the shawls come from. Maybe you have heard of Cashmere, ma'am?'

'"Who has not heard of the vale of Cashmere!'" hummed the Duke to himself.

'Ah! I thought so,' said the marine; 'all people know much the same; for some have seen, and some have read. I can't read, but I have served my king and country for five-and-twenty years, and I have used my eyes.'

'Better than reading,' said the Duke, humouring the character.

'I'll tell you what,' said the marine, with a knowing look. 'I suspect there is a d--d lot of lies in your books. I landed in England last seventh of June, and went to see St. Paul's. "This is the greatest building in the world," says the man. Thinks I, "You lie." I did not tell him so, because I am always respectful. I tell you what, sir; maybe you think St. Paul's the greatest building in the world, but I tell you what, it's a lie. I have seen one greater. Maybe, ma'am, you think I am telling you a lie too; but I am not. Go and ask Captain Jones, of the 58th. I went with him: I give you his name: go and ask Captain Jones, of the 58th, if I be telling you a lie. The building I mean is the palace of the Sultan Acber; for I have served my king and country five-and-twenty years last seventh of June, and have seen strange things; all built of precious stones, ma'am. What do you think of that?

All built of precious stones; carnelian, of which you make your seals; as sure as I'm a sinner saved. If I ayn't speaking the truth, I am not going to Selby. Maybe you'd like to know why I am going to Selby? I'll tell you what. Five-and-twenty years have I served my king and country last seventh of June. Now I begin with the beginning. I ran away from home when I was eighteen, you see! and, after the siege of Bhurtpore, I was sitting on a bale of silk alone, and I said to myself, I'll go and see my mother. Sure as I am going to Selby, that's the whole. I landed in England last seventh of June, absent five-and-twenty years, serving my king and country. I sent them a letter last night. I put it in the post myself. Maybe I shall be there before my letter now.'

'To be sure you will,' said the utilitarian; 'what made you do such a silly thing? Why, your letter is in this coach.'

'Well! I shouldn't wonder. I shall be there before my letter now. All nonsense, letters: my wife wrote it at Falmouth.'

'You are married, then?' said the widow.

'Ayn't I, though? The sweetest cretur, madam, though I say it before you, that ever lived.'