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Evolution is not an all-purpose thing
Author’s note:
I’m sorry. the first 1200 words(in jp) of ch 8 wasn’t copiedeven if you just skip it just somehow connects so i didn’t notice it. but still, this is still a necessary chapter so it’s better to read it than not read it
≪Rusty’s Perspective≫
I really did it. For once, I feel like I really just did as I pleased. After all, these past 2 years I have lived like a person restraining their urges, so the backlash was tremendous. Well, with a loli in my strikezone and a goblin’s l.u.s.t combined, I’d like to look at the deed with magnanimity. But seriously though, I was nearly about to attack her. (9: you’ve done well my friend)
Right now? Currently, I am trying to understand my circ.u.mstances.
After that, I cleaned up the ground, jumped in a nearby river, exchanged my loin cloth, washed the shoes, I allowed her to use wind magic to ventilate the cave………right now, I am prostrating (DOGEZA) myself before Loli-sama who’s in a daunting pose.
「This time, I have shown you a really rude and unsightly deed. I honestly beg for your forgiveness! 」
「….You see…I don’t want to say this to the one who save me, but……..you’re really the lowest of the low, aren’t you.」
「Yes ma’am. I thank thee for thy blessing.」
「……..tsk.」
I was tsk-ed by a loli. (Ren: Oooooo, one of the greatest rewards from a loli)
No~this girl is really great. No matter what she does, to me, it is like a reward.
With a single doubt, she is my ideal elf loli-sama.
「You, are you really a 2-year old? Just how in the world do you have that kind of inclination? Also, your words are absurdly fluent.」
「Yes ma’am. I am 2 year, 3 months old. I was taught by a human woman confined in the village.」
Hearing my words, a shadow loomed over Loli-sama’s face.
「…………That’s right. If I had made a single mistake I might ha-…..no, it would’ve been much worse, right?」
「………」
I’m really glad that that kind of future didn’t happen. Though, it’s really too late to be relieved.
It seems my deep thoughts were pa.s.sed on, because Loli-sama’s mood softened, and she exhibited a bitter smile.
「Now then, get up already. I need to properly say my thanks to you who saved my life, and also, don’t preach those weird speeches, ok?」
「Y-yeah.」
Facing each other, Sherina’s earnest eyes were filled with sincerity.
……..But, for some reason, she was trembling.
「I am really grateful to you for saving my life last night. As a prideful Elf, I believe that the payment for this debt of grat.i.tude should be one’s life. If one wishes for it……….only this night……I would not dislike offering my own body…. 」
I’m surprised.
It is said that an elf’s outwards appearance reflects his/her mental age. So, a basically 7-8 year old child had the resolution to repay her debt of grat.i.tude. I fear that my greatest desire is what she wants to avoid at all cost, but she doesn’t avert her eyes and looks at ‘it’ directly. She looked directly at this goblin b.a.s.t.a.r.d.
Is it fine to say that she is very young and has sublime heart or she possesses a strong sense of duty….
Who would want to stain such girl.
I may be a low-life, but I am a strong-willed gentleman.
I put my hand on the head of the little girl who was s.h.i.+vering and then tousled her hair.
「Don’t overdo yourself. I may be your benefactor, but you don’t like what you don’t like. Rejecting narcissism is important too, you know. Also that I am a “-Wors.h.i.+p Every Loli You See– follower”, you know.」
「Eh? Aah….It’s that…」
「Uoo, suddenly glaring at me as if looking at tras.h.!.+ My spine is tingling: it feels so goood!!」
「You–are you truly seriously a 2 year old !?」(9: double combo with truly and seriously)
Geez, this conversation is fun. You can say that this is enough for my reward.
But still–….that’s right. So that I can survive in this world as a member of the weakest race, I need to work harder.
「Hey, Sherina. About the reward….can’t you teach me magic?」
*
「You see, once I go back home, I won’t hesitate to absolutely burn this shoe…」
「………..」
Saying it with such empty eyes, it’s a bit scary, but still, you have no choice, right? If you must walk a distance that can take more than half a day, you will absolutely need your shoes, right?
Loli-sama promised that she will definitely guarantee the reward I asked for, but she said that she is not that good with magic. So in exchange, she will request if of her mother.
Her mother is a Grand Magus; it’s a rare job-cla.s.s even for elves, it seems. It is said that those who use modern magic are called magicians, while those who mix modern with ancient magic are known as Magi (plural for Magus). Is Grand Magus just some kind of occupational sub-cla.s.s? I have no idea how strong the cla.s.s is. But, if I dampen the their mood, it seems like I will become ashes. Since–look at me–I’m just a goblin.
Just now, I pa.s.sed Sherina a good quality bow I obtained from the archer.
If we ignore my use of tactics, with just my pure strength and status, my place in the forest hierarchy is near the middle. After all, I don’t think I can just fight an ogre with just one hatchet…. And because of that, I didn’t consider using numbers while fighting.
――――――Though, loli-sama is only just thinking about her shoes.
(on purpose)
After walking in the forest for about an hour:
What should I do with our food supply……….I started to worry.
After all, a goblin’s bad eating habits can be really useful. You can put just about anything in your mouth and it’s totally safe. I once saw a child goblin eat a suspicious mushroom. It collapsed and twitched on the ground, but after leaving it on the ground for a short while, they just popped back up like normal. (Ren: can i be a goblin then? i put too many things that shouldn’t be in my mouth) (IcedTea: Are you a baby Ren…..)
……The heck, I haven’t ever seen a goblin die of food poisoning.
So between an elf and me, our eating habits are like difference between heaven and earth.(IcedTea: Is this a Chinese novel now? The difference between everything in those novels is like the difference between Heaven and Earth or the Sea and the Sky or something……)
Are larvae okay? How much poison can a mushroom have? Isn’t the feeling of sinking your teeth into raw meat the best?……..I guess we should start with these things. Since there is a drinking place nearby…..but, just when I was about to ask about our food—
hyun *arrow flying*
The sound of a bowstring being pulled and the sound of an arrow piercing the wind.
Immediately following, in a fairly distant place, something fell with a thud. It was a Tenmaru bird. (IcedTea: Unless the name of a creature is important to the beast’s image or description, or if it’s really important to the plot or battle, we will not translate it.)
Unless it’s hunting, the Tenmaru bird is always on the peaks above the canopy. It’s a monster that only an archer can reach; I was only able to get it once due to good luck. It has few creases, and even if you grill it then eat it, it’s a yummy bird.
Loli-sama carried it over– it looks like it’s really heavy–and smiled.
「You’ll eat too right? Then please prepare the fire, ok ♡?」
「……..Yes Ma’am!」
Contrary to her appearance, she was a strong loli-sama.
U~n, it feels like I’m falling in love.
「Owowowowowowowowowowowow!」(9: fallin in love~~yeah, love hurts)
I fell to the ground, rolling and writhing in pain.
Loli-sama’s eyes widen, but she seemed to be surprised not at my pain, but at something else. Before long, the pain in my stomach subsided, and then I spat out the blue magic stone. And below my loincloth, the meter-long tail shook.
*
As we sat by the fire, our noses began to get aroused by the savory smell of the meat.
「I never thought that you would seriously use that method to forcibly mutate yourself…..I really can’t think of you as being normal.」
「Shaddup. There is no ‘later’ in this short goblin life, ya know. A loli elf who is about 15 years old wouldn’t understand, but our flow of time differs from that of the elfs.」(Ren: when did he start speaking like a drunk) (9: rusty keeps changin his tone according to the situation)
I turned the meat that I had thrusted on the grill at a distance from the fire. The sizzling sound of the burning oil feels good. (Ren: Sound feels good? you have synesthesia or are you high?) I’m fine with rare, but for Sherina, maybe I should grill it more.
「Hmph, having slow growth is annoying, you know! There’s always a danger of being attacked, and also this time, because of my growth, I met something like this….」
「Aa~…you sure would hate it if it’s like that….」(IcedTea: I know what the author is saying here, but j.a.panese sure can be vague sometimes………)(9: agreed)
「Also, you see, an elf needs a slow-growing lifestyle, you know. If we are like humans who rush their lives, within even half an elf’s life span, our minds would be worn out. In the past, all of the elves who became adventurers, all of them, had spent the last 100 years of their life crippled.」
I presented the skewered meat to loli-sama. She said 「thank you」 and then received it.
No no, if I left tracks of burns on that spotless skin, I would be a disgrace of a gentleman.
「Hee~. So they aren’t just living a NEET lifestyle….」
「I don’t know what a NEET is, but I am fawning over mother, sticking to her chest, you know. We don’t know what will happen, so we should try to receive as much happiness as possible. Only working hard is not living!」(Ren: Basically, loli-sama says she’s spoiled by her mother a lot and tries to be spoiled more plus she justifies it)
Um….though, that is a NEET’s speech and conduct, you know.
Oh well, the picture of a mother spoiling a child is awfully pleasant, so I won’t say anything about it. I wonder if she is displeased by my gentle gaze. Loli-sama changed the subject.
「More than that! Where do you plan on ending your mutation? As I thought, are you trying to reach Goblin King?」
「A-, so that really existed?」
「Yeah. After all, the leader of the Demonlord Eastern Area army is a 250 years old Goblin King. It’s really famous, you know.」
「Oo!! Just as I thought, having a higher cla.s.s makes the lifespan longer. Lucky………fumu, but I really don’t have any interesting in becoming something like a Goblin King, you know.」
「Then, what is the mutating for?」
I don’t have any aspiration to become anything remarkable or lead an army.
Evolution is pretty much welcomed, but somehow becoming the top of the goblin b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, what kind of punishment game is that……
Just as I thought, the appearance that I wanted to reach through mutation….
「Of course, the goal is gotta be growing some hair on my head. Yeah, this is gotta be it!」
「Huuuuuuuuuh!?」
「If I become an awesome ikemen, even if I am originally a goblin, there might be a human who might become my girlfriend. After all, my aesthetic sense is directing towards humans. Aa-, of course, elves are my number one aspiration, but–…uooo, Loli-sama’s scorning eyes!? Wait a minute? This time, it’s unexpectedly intense….」
Gugu, being seriously scorned–my heart was barely able to stand it. Well, this will soon become pleasant according to my standards, but…. But, in the middle, Loli-sama’s glance changed.
Eh? This wavelength….is it pity? But somehow, it’s also sorta trying to hold back laughter….
「Rusty. It is saddening that I have to destroy such a magnificent dream, but—」
「W-what are you talking about…」
It feels like I shouldn’t hear it…..It feels like the unease before being told of a death sentence…..
Making it acc.u.mulate fully……Lol-sama refres.h.i.+ngly smiled and said it.
「Even the Goblin King didn’t grow hair on his head, you know」(9:hahahahahaha! it looks like growing hair is harder than becoming a goblin king)
「Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~~~!!!!」(9: rusty screamed like a girl) (Ren: For thou who don’t understand, it’s “Iyaaaaaaaa”)
The hair root that I yearned for; for the first time in this world, I cried aloud.
―――――――I think it would’ve been fine if hard mode didn’t have to include that restriction too.
Ren: Hey guys, 9 is having some trouble with his network right now so I’ll be posting this chapter. Rejoice because I finally got a lot of my RL issues aside (and still have quite a few) and can now edit faster.