The Depot Master Part 31

"'Indeed you will,' says he, decided. 'Me and Hiram ain't that kind.

We've got relations of our own, and we know what it means when they come a-visitin'. You and Mr. Holden'll take your comp'ny and go to see--whatever 'tis you want to see, and we'll make ourselves to home till you get back. Yes, you will, or we clear out this minute.'

"They didn't want to, but we was sot, and so they give in finally. It seemed that this Cousin Harriet was a widow relation of the Holdens, who lived in a swell country house over in Connecticut somewhere, and was rich as the rest of the tribe. Archie was her son. 'Hers and the Evil One's,' Sam said.

"We didn't realize how much truth there was in this last part until we run afoul of Archie and his ma at dinner time. Cousin Harriet was tall and middlin' slim, thirty-five years old, maybe, at a sale for taxes, but discounted to twenty at her own valuation. She was got up regardless, and had a kind of chronic, tired way of talkin', and a condescendin' look to her, as if she was on top of Bunker Hill monument, and all creation was on its knees down below. She didn't warm up to Simeon and me much; eyed us over through a pair of gilt spygla.s.ses, and admitted that she was 'charmed, I'm sure.' Likewise, she was afflicted with 'nerves,' which must be a divil of a disease--for everybody but the patient, especial.

"Archie--his ma hailed him as 'Archibald, dear'--showed up pretty soon in tow of his 'maid,' a sweet-faced, tired-out Irish girl named Margaret. 'Archibald, dear,' was five years old or so, sufferin' from curls and the lack of a lickin'. I never see a young one that needed a strap ile more.

"'How d'ye do Archie?' says Simeon, holdin' out his hand.

"Archie didn't take the hand. Instead of that he points at Phinney and commences to laugh.

"'Ho, ho!' says he, dancin' and pointin'. 'Look at the funny whiskers.'

"Sim wa'n't expectin' that, and it set him all aback, like he'd run into a head squall. He took hold of his beard and looked foolish. Sam and Grace looked ashamed and mad. Cousin Harriet laughed one of her lazy laughs.

"'Archibald, de-ar,' she drawls, 'you mustn't speak that way. Now be nice, and play with Margaret durin' dinner, that's a good boy.'

"'I won't,' remarks Archie, cheerful. 'I'm goin' to dine with you, mama.'

"'Oh, no, you're not, dear. You'll have your own little table, and--'

"Then 'twas' Hi, yi!' 'Bow, wow!' Archibald wa'n't hankerin' for little tables. He was goin' to eat with us, that's what. His ma, she argued with him and pleaded, and he yelled and stamped and hurrahed. When Margaret tried to soothe him he went at her like a wild-cat, and kicked and pounded her sinful. She tried to take him out of the room, and then Cousin Harriet come down on her like a scow load of brick.

"'Haven't I told you,' says she, sharp and vinegary, 'not to oppose the child in that way? Archibald has such a sensitive nature,' she says to Grace, 'that opposition arouses him just as it did me at his age. Very well, dear; you MAY dine with us to-night, if you wish. Oh, my poor nerves! Margaret, why don't you place a chair for Master Archibald? The creature is absolutely stupid at times,' she says, talkin' about that poor maid afore her face with no more thought for her feelin's than if she was a wooden image. 'She has no tact whatever. I wouldn't have Archibald's spirit broken for anything.'

"'Twas his neck that needed breakin' if you asked ME. That was a joyful meal, now I tell you.

"There was more joy when 'twas over. Archie didn't want to go to bed, havin' desires to set up and torment Simeon with questions about his whiskers; askin' if they growed or was tied on, and things like that.

Course he didn't know his ma was goin' to the show, or he wouldn't have let her. But finally he was coaxed upstairs by Margaret and a box of candy, and, word havin' been sent down that he was asleep, Sam got out his plug hat, and Grace and Cousin Harriet got on their fur-lined dolmans and knit clouds, and was ready for the hack.

"'I feel mighty mean to go off and leave you this way,' says Sam to me and Simeon. 'But you make yourself at home, won't you? This is your house to-night, you know; servants and all.'

"'How about that boy's wakin' up?' says I.

"'Oh, his maid'll attend to him. If she needs any help you can give it to her,' he says, winkin' on the side.

"But Cousin Harriet was right at his starboard beam, and she heard him.

She flew up like a settin' hen.

"'Indeed they will NOT!' she sings out. 'If anyone but Margaret was to attempt to control Archibald, I don't dare think what might happen.

I shall not stir from this spot until these persons promise not to interfere in ANY way; Archibald, dear, is such a sensitive child.'

"So we promised not to interfere, although Sim Phinney looked disappointed when he done it. I could see that he'd had hopes afore he give that promise."

CHAPTER XI

IN THE GREAT METROPOLIS

"So they left you and Sim Phinney to keep house, did they, Hiram?"

observed Wingate.

"They did. And, for a spell, we figgered on bein' free from too much style.

"After they'd gone we loafed into the settin' room or libr'ry, or whatever you call it, and come to anchor in a couple of big lazy chairs.

"'Now,' says I, takin' off my coat, 'we can be comf'table.'

"But we couldn't. In bobs a servant girl to know if we 'wanted anything.' We didn't, but she looked so shocked when she see me in my s.h.i.+rt sleeves that I put the coat on again, feelin' as if I'd ought to blush. And in a minute back she comes to find out if we was SURE we didn't want anything. Sim was. .h.i.tchin' in his chair. Between 'nerves'

and Archibald, his temper was raw on the edges.

"'Say,' he bursts out, 'you look kind of pale to me. What you need is fresh air. Why don't you go take a walk?'

"The girl looked at him with her mouth open.

"'Oh,' says she, 'I couldn't do that, thank you, sir. That would leave no one but the cook and the kitchen girl. And the master said you was to be made perfectly comf'table, and--'

"'Yes,' says Sim, dry, 'I heard him say it. And we can't be comf'table with you shut up in the house this nice evenin'. Go and take a walk, and take the cook and stewardess with you. Don't argue about it. I'm skipper here till the boss gets back. Go, the three of you, and go NOW. D'ye hear?'

"There was a little more talk, but not much. In five minutes or so the downstairs front door banged, and there was gigglin' outside.

"'There,' says Simeon, peelin' off HIS coat and throwin' himself back in one chair with his feet on another one. 'Now, by Judas, I'm goin' to be homey and happy like poor folks. I don't wonder that Harriet woman's got nerves. Darn style, anyhow! Pa.s.s over that cigar box, Hiram.'

"'Twas half an hour later or so when Margaret, the nursemaid, came downstairs. I'd almost forgot her. We was tame and toler'ble contented by that time. Phinney called to her as she went by the door.

"'Is that young one asleep?' he asked.

"'Yes, sir,' says she, 'he is. Is there anything I can do? Did you want anything?'

"Simeon looks at me. 'I swan to man, it's catchin'!' he says. 'They've all got it. No, we don't want anything, except--What's the matter? YOU don't need fresh air, do you?'

"The girl looked as if she'd lost her last friend. Her pretty face was pale and her eyes was wet, as if she'd been cryin'.

"'No, sir,' says she, puzzled. 'No, sir, thank you, sir.'

"'She's tired out, that's all,' says I. I swan, I pitied the poor thing.

'You go somewheres and take a nap,' I told her. 'Me and my friend won't tell.'

"Oh, no, she couldn't do that. It wa'n't that she was tired--no more tired than usual--but she'd been that troubled in her mind lately, askin' our pardon, that she was near to crazy.

"We was sorry for that, but it didn't seem to be none of our business, and she was turnin' away, when all at once she stops and turns back again.

"'Might I ask you gintlemen a question?' she says, sort of pleadin'.

'Sure I mane no harm by it. Do aither of you know a man be the name of Michael O'Shaughnessy?'