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'I don't think anything of the kind. I shouldn't let you go, say what you might.'
'You wouldn't? But if you find that you _can't_ believe me----'
'It would make no difference, even that. But I do believe you.'
She drew nearer, looking wistfully into his face.
'But _she_ has made her husband believe her. You will always think of that--always.'
'You must remember, Alma, that I have no serious reason for doubting her word.'
She uttered a cry of distress.
'Then you doubt mine!--you doubt mine!'
'Nonsense, dear. Do try to think and talk more reasonably. What is it to you and me whether she was guilty or not? I may doubt your judgment about her, and yet believe perfectly all you tell me about yourself.'
'Then you think I have slandered her?'
'There's no earthly use in talking about it. You can give no reasons; you _have_ no reasons. Your suspicion may be right or wrong; I don't care the toss of a b.u.t.ton. All I know is, that we mustn't talk of it.
Sit down and be quiet for a little. Oughtn't you to eat something before you go up?'
Alma put her hands upon his shoulders, bending her face so as to hide it from him.
'Dear--if you could just say that you believe me; not about myself--I know you do--but about _her_. Could you say that?'
He hesitated, all a man's common-sense in revolt against the entreaty; but he saw her quiver with a sob, and yielded.
'Very well, I will believe that too.'
Her touch became an embrace, gentle and timid; she threw her head back, gazing at him in rapture.
'You will never again doubt it?'
'Never again.'
'Oh, you are good!--you are kind to me, dear! And will you love me a little? Do you think you can, just a little?'
His answer satisfied her, and she lay in his arms, shedding tears of contentment. Then, for a long time, she talked of the new life before them. She would be everything he wished; no moment's trouble should ever again come between him and her. Nothing now had any charm for her but the still, happy life of home; her ambitions were all dead and buried. And Harvey answered her with tenderness; forgetting the doubt, refusing to look forward, knowing only that Alma had a place for ever in his heart.
Tonight she must sleep. Whilst undressing she measured the familiar draught of oblivion, and said to herself: 'The last time.' She lay down in darkness, closed her eyes, and tried to think only of happy things.
But sleep would not come, and quiet thoughts would not linger with her.
More than an hour must have pa.s.sed, when she heard Harvey come upstairs. His step paused near her door, and she raised herself, listening. He went on, and his own door closed.
Then, for a short time, she lost herself, but in no placid slumber.
Startled to wakefulness, she found that she had left her bed and was sitting on the chair beside it. She felt for the matches, and lit a candle. A great anguish of mind came upon her, but she could not shed tears; she wished to escape from her room to Harvey's, but durst not look out into the dark pa.s.sage.
When her heart grew quieter, she went again to the drawer in which she kept her remedy for insomnia. Saying to herself, 'The last time--I shall be well again after tomorrow,' she measured another dose, a larger, and drank it off. Trembling now with cold, she crept into bed again, and lay watching the candle-flame.
Half an hour after this--it was about two o'clock--the handle of her door was turned, and Rolfe quietly looked in. He had awoke with an anxious feeling; it seemed to him that he heard Alma's voice, on the borderland of dream, calling his name. But Alma lay asleep, breathing steadily, her face turned from the light. As the candle had nearly burnt down, he blew it out, and went back to his bed.
At breakfast time Alma did not appear. The housemaid said that, half an hour ago, she was still sleeping. When he had had his meal with Hughie, Rolfe went up and entered his wife's room. Alma lay just as he had seen her in the night. He looked close--laid his hand upon her----
A violent ringing of the bedroom bell brought up the servant. Harvey met her at the door, and bade her run instantly to the doctor's house, which was quite near.
The doctor could only say, 'We warned her.'
CHAPTER 13
_Sicut umbra praeterit dies_.
The dial on the front of the old house was just shadowing four o'clock.
Harvey Rolfe and his friend Morton sat on the lawn, Harvey reading aloud from a small volume which he had slipped into his pocket before walking over this afternoon. From another part of the garden sounded young voices, musical in their merriment.
It was a little book called 'Barrack-Room Ballads'. Harvey read in it here and there, with no stinted expression of delight, occasionally shouting his appreciation. Morton, pipe in mouth, listened with a smile, and joined more moderately in the reader's bursts of enthusiasm.
'Here's the strong man made articulate,' cried Rolfe at length. 'It's no use; he stamps down one's prejudice--what? It's the voice of the reaction. Millions of men, natural men, revolting against the softness and sweetness of civilisation; men all over the world; hardly knowing what they want and what they don't want; and here comes one who speaks for them--speaks with a vengeance.'
'Undeniable.'
'_But_----'
'I was waiting for the _but_,' said Morton, with a smile and a nod.
'The brute savagery of it! The very lingo--how appropriate it is! The tongue of Whitechapel blaring l.u.s.t of life in the track of English guns!-- He knows it; the man is a great artist; he smiles at the voice of his genius.--It's a long time since the end of the Napoleonic wars.
Since then Europe has seen only sputterings of temper. Mankind won't stand it much longer, this encroachment of the humane spirit. See the spread of athletics. We must look to our physique, and make ourselves ready. Those Lancas.h.i.+re operatives, laming and killing each other at football, turning a game into a battle. For the milder of us there's golf--an epidemic. Women turn to cricket--tennis is too soft--and tomorrow they'll be bicycling by the thousand;--they must breed a stouter race. We may reasonably hope, old man, to see our boys blown into small bits by the explosive that hasn't got its name yet.'
'Perhaps,' replied Morton meditatively. 'And yet there are considerable forces on the other side.'
'Pooh! The philosopher sitting on the safety-valve. He has breadth of beam, good sedentary man, but when the moment comes--The Empire; that's beginning to mean something. The average Englander has never grasped the fact that there was such a thing as a British Empire. He's beginning to learn it, and itches to kick somebody, to prove his Imperialism. The bully of the music-hall shouting "Jingo" had his special audience. Now comes a man of genius, and decent folk don't feel ashamed to listen this time. We begin to feel our position. We can't make money quite so easily as we used to; scoundrels in Germany and elsewhere have dared to learn the trick of commerce. We feel sore, and it's a great relief to have our advantages pointed out to us. By G.o.d!
we are the British Empire, and we'll just show 'em what _that_ means!'
'I'm reading the campaigns of Belisarius,' said Morton, after a pause.
'What has that to do with it?'
'Thank Heaven, nothing whatever.'
'I bore you,' said Harvey, laughing. 'Well, I read little or nothing, except what I can use for Hughie. We're doing the geography of Asia, and I try to give him a few clear notions. Do you remember the idiotic way in which they used to teach us geography? I loathed the lesson.--That reminds me; Henrietta Winter is dead.'
'Is she? How did it remind you?'
'Why, because Morphew is going to New Zealand. I had a letter from him this morning. Here it is. "I heard yesterday that H. W. is dead. She died a fortnight ago, and a letter from her mother has only just reached me in a roundabout way. She had been ailing for some time. They suspected drains, and had workmen in, with a.s.surance that all had been put right. Since H.'s death the drains have again been examined, and it was found that the men who came before so bungled and scamped their work that an abominable state of things was made much worse."--Those fellows will shout n.o.bly for the Empire one of these days!--"I never saw her, but she spoke of me just before the end; spoke very kindly, says her mother. d.a.m.nation! I can write no more about it. I know you don't care to hear from me, but I'll just say that I'm going out to New Zealand. I don't know what I shall do there, but a fellow has asked me to go with him, and it's better than rotting here. It may help me to escape the devil yet; if so, you shall hear. Goodbye!"'