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There _is_ a coolness--a triflin', temporary coolness. Fan, be reasonable--Lady T, be forgivin'. Kiss and be friends.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
I know that you've got me--what's the expression?--on something or another.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
I 'ope "toast" is not the word you requiah, Lady Twombley?
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Oh, yes, on toast.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Oh, Lady T.! Lady T.!
LADY TWOMBLEY.
I know that if I can't meet those awful Bills you can drag my name into the papers, and set all London grinning for a month.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Oh! Oh, Fan, is that my way of doin' business?
LADY TWOMBLEY.
If you're a nice, honest man--as you look--you'll take her away, and never, either of you, show your ugl--show your faces here again.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Ah, Lady T., now we come to the aim and object of the mornin' call which I have the 'appiness of making on you. Fan, you haven't explained to Lady T. You really must cut in.
MRS. GAYl.u.s.tRE.
I shan't. Explain yourself.
[LEBANON rises, replacing his chair.]
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
My dear Lady T., the long and the short of it is that Fan and I have considerable social ambition.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
You too! Not _you_!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
And why not? f.a.n.n.y, cut in!
MRS. GAYl.u.s.tRE.
Go on, Jo dear.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Lady Twombley, it has been the desiah of Fan and self, ever since that period of our lives which I may describe as our checkered child'ood, to reach the top of the social tree.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Hah!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Lady Twombley, you'll pardon my remarking that you are a little trying.
I say, Fan and I desiah to reach the top of the social tree, where the cocoanuts are. Excuse my humour. Fan's had a whirl or two in the circles of fas.h.i.+on.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
She! A hanger-on to the skirts of Society!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
And very good skirts too when she makes 'em.
MRS. GAYl.u.s.tRE.
Jo, drop that.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Excuse my humour, Fan. As for me, from those early boy'ood's days when I made temporary advances of ha'pence to my sister f.a.n.n.y, promptly and without inquiry, I have devoted myself to finance.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Finance!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
But now, Lady T--to use a poetic figure--I am prepared to cut an eight on the frozen lake of gentility.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Man!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
