The Astonishing History of Troy Town Part 28

"If you will allow me--" he began, courteously addressing vacancy.

"Monster!"

The awful truth began to dawn upon him, and was followed by a hasty impulse to dive.

"If," he stammered, "I am right in supposing myself to address a lady--"

"Don't talk to me, but go away."

"I was about to ask permission to resume my spectacles, which I have unfortunately laid aside."

"No, no. That would be worse. Oh! go away at once."

"Pardon me, madam. I am aware that spectacles are insufficient as a--I mean, I did not propose to consider them in the light of a costume, but as an a.s.sistance to my sight, without which--"

"Oh! I shall faint."

"Without which it will be impossible for me to extricate myself from this extremely unfortunate situation. I am notoriously short-sighted, madam, and at this distance could not tell you from Adam--I should say, from Eve," continued Mr. Fogo, desperately reaching out for his spectacles and adjusting them.

By the imperfect glimpse which he obtained through the gla.s.ses (which were still damp) he was almost moved to adopt his first impulse of deserting the boat and diving. But even if he swam away the case would be no better, for this unreasonable female stood sentry beside his clothes.

"If I might make a suggestion, madam--"

But by this time Miss Limpenny had broken forth into a series of sobs and plaintive cries for protection. Alas! the rest of the picnic-party were deep within the woods, and out of hearing.

"Believe me, my dear madam--"

"I am not your dear madam."

"I have no other intention than to get out of this."

"Ah! he confesses it."

"I a.s.sure you--"

"Will no one protect me?" wailed the lady, wringing her hands and sobbing anew. But help was near, though from an unexpected quarter.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "Will no one protect me?" wailed the lady . . .]

"Hulloa!" cried a voice on the bank above, "what be all this?"

And Peter Dearlove pushed aside the bushes and descended to the s.h.i.+ngle, closely followed by Paul. He was just in time, for Miss Limpenny, with a thankful little cry, staggered and fell fainting into his arms.

"Mercy 'pon us!" exclaimed Peter, seeing only the lady, and not at first the cause of her distress, "'tes Miss Limpenny."

"Well, I'm jiggered!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Paul, "so 'tes."

The Twins bent over the lady, and looked at each other in dismay.

To Mr. Fogo the tableau might have borne a ridiculous likeness to that scene in _Cymbeline_ where Guiderius and Arviragus stoop over the unconscious Imogen. But Mr. Fogo, as he stood neck-high in water, was far beyond drawing any such comparison; and Peter, instead of adjuring Miss Limpenny to fear no more the heat o' the sun, accinged himself to the practical difficulty.

"Did 'ee iver hear tell o' what's best to be done when a leddy's took like this?" he asked his brother.

"No," answered Paul; "Tamsin was niver took this way. But that there little book us used to study when her had the whoopin'-cough an'

measles wud likely tell all about et; I wish 'twas here. Wait a bit.

I remembers the 'Instructions for Discoverin' th' Appariently Drownded.' Do 'ee reckon Miss Limpenny here es 'appariently drownded'?"

"Why, no."

"I don't think so nuther. Ef she was," added Paul regretfully, "you'd have to be extry partic'lar not to roll her body 'pon casks.

That was a great p'int."

"'Tes a long step round to fetch that book," sighed Peter.

"An' terrable long words i' th' index when you've got et. Stop, now: es et faintin', do 'ee think?"

"Well," answered Paul thoughtfully, "et _mou't_ be faintin'."

"'Cos, ef so, the best way es to hold the sufferer upsi-down an' dash cold water over the face."

"That wud be takin' too much of a liberty, wudn' et, Paul?"

But at this point the blood came trickling back into Miss Limpenny's cheeks; the eyelids fluttered, opened; she gasped a little, looked up, and--

"Is he gone?" she asked in a weak whisper.

"Gone? Who, ma'am?"

"The monster."

"Light-headed yet," muttered Peter. But following Miss Limpenny's stare the brothers caught sight of Mr. Fogo simultaneously, and for the first time. Their mahogany faces grew sensibly paler.

"Well, this beats c.o.c.k-fightin'!"

"Would you mind taking that lady away?" pleaded Mr. Fogo, through his chattering teeth; "I am very cold indeed, and wish to dress."

"Oh! that voice again," sobbed Miss Limpenny; "please tell him to go away."

Being nonplussed by these two appeals, Peter addressed his reply to his brother.

"I dunno, Paul, as we've a-got to the bottom o' this; but I reck'n Mr. Fogo's been a-lettin' hes principles take 'n too far. As for dislikin' womankind, 'tes in a way 'scuseable p'raps; but notices es wan thing, an' teasin' anuther."

"That's so, Peter. Ef 'tes a matter o' fash'n, tho', I dunno as we've any call to interfere, not knawin' what's what."

"Ef you plaise, sir," shouted Peter, "Paul an' me wants to know whether you be a-doin' et by way o' bein' fash'nubble?"

"I don't know what you mean. I only wish to be allowed to get at my clothes. I really am suffering considerably, being quite unused to these long immersions."