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"I don't do it often, but I've got the touch," she admitted, grinning goofily. "Now let's get back to our discussion."
"It was an argument," Callie decreed. "And I won."
"It wasn't an argument, and if it was, I won. I know when a woman's interested in me, and the woman in question was most definitely not."
"She was looking at you every time I peeked at her. Every time," Callie emphasized.
"Not buying it. And if she was, she must have thought she recognized me. Maybe she had her wedding at the Inn. She was married, you know. She had a big, big diamond on her left hand and the guy with her had a ring on too."
aWell," Callie said, banging her bottle on the table, "he might as well start looking for a lawyer, because she was into you. Big time."
"Was not. Not, not, not, not, not. I always know when a woman is into me. It's a sixth sense."
"You always know?"
"Always."
"You've never, ever, not even once, been wrong?"
"Never. Not once. Never will be wrong." Regan slammed her bottle onto the table hard enough to break it, but the gla.s.s held and she stood there, looking smug.
"Where did you get this power?"
"I don't know. But I guarantee I have it." A flurry of thoughts raced through her mind. She knew she was right, so it was time to gut it up and spill it. She looked vaguely triumphant when she added, "My powers tell me that there is someone who's interested in me."
Callie looked like she'd fallen into a hole. Her eyes blinked a few times, showing what looked like fear. "Who might that be?"
"Someone I know. She just started looking at me like this. It's only been a few days, but I'm sure I'm right."
"Tell me more," Callie said, swallowing audibly.
Regan moved to stand at the end of the bar. She leaned over, rested her arms on the Formica and gazed deeply into Callie's eyes. "You, Callie Emerson, have been looking at me in a certain way for a few days now."
"I have?" Callie choked out.
Regan tapped the neck of her bottle against Callie's. "You have. You've been looking at me like you want to kiss me." She put her bottle down and rested her chin atop a fist, holding her head just a few inches from Callie's. "Am I right?"
"Uhm...I...well..."
"I'm right," Regan said, practically purring. There was no way to back out now. It'd been a long time since she'd tried to seduce a woman, but she knew what worked. People loved confidence and she could bring it. "You actually look like you want me to kiss you." Her voice dropped down to a timbre meant to weaken knees. "I'm right, aren't I? This is how you get women to make the first move."
Callie could only nod. She looked frightened, but she leaned in. A sure sign. Regan moved even closer and their lips touched-delicately and fleetingly.
Regan took in a breath and slipped her hand across Callie's cheek, letting it rest just under her ear. One finger slid across the lobe, then down her neck, making gooseb.u.mps break out. Regan tilted her head and gazed deeply into Callie's eyes, then moved towards her again, letting their lips brush tenderly, then insistently.
They moved into each other, their lungs expanding as their bodies touched from b.r.e.a.s.t.s to hips. Each place their bodies met switched on a sensor. Energy throbbed in Regan's b.r.e.a.s.t.s, her belly, her thighs. Everywhere that Callie's warmth pervaded was alive in a new way.
Regan's head tilted back and her mouth opened to Callie's daintily probing tongue. As soon as that warm tongue entered her mouth, Regan was gone. Callie could have pushed her to the bar, the chair, the floor... any st.u.r.dy surface would have been just fine. She laced her arms around Callie's neck and pulled her in, hoping she didn't take a bite out of the luscious woman.
Her body wanted more. More than she could fathom. She needed Callie's hands to touch every part of her. Every part that had been yearning so insistently for the magic she knew those hands could create. Just as that thought registered, Callie's hands slid to her a.s.s and pulled her forward forcefully. Their bodies pressed hard into each other, and Regan's head felt as though it would explode from the overload of sensation flooding her mind.
Then her hand was on Callie's breast and the moan that welled up from her made Regan weak. But she held on, opening her mouth a little wider to let Callie's delectable tongue anchor them together.
But the pull to merge was just too strong. Regan had to be horizontal. With their mouths still locked together they fumbled and banged their way into the bedroom, falling onto the bed with a thump. Regan pulled away and reached for her s.h.i.+rt, pulling it over her head so that Callie could reach her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Lingering for just a moment she looked down and saw fervid desire in those green eyes. Just like Callie had planned the whole thing. No hesitation. Not tentative in the least. Just like she'd looked at Marina... at G.o.d knew how many other women. Other women while she'd been with Marina. Any woman on the list. Nothing more than animal pa.s.sion. No love. No respect. No consideration for the consequences. And she'd agreed to all of that before she'd ever set foot in Marina's apartment.
"No," she whispered, almost too quietly to hear. "It's not right. I didn't think this through." Panic exploded in her chest and she couldn't get a full breath.
Callie placed her hands on either side of Regan's face, searching her eyes. "What? What is it?"
"It's not right," she repeated dully, not having any idea what else to say.
Slowly, Callie scooted out from under her leg and sat up. She slid her fingers into her hair and pushed it from where it had fallen into her face. She looked calm, almost resigned. The way she'd probably looked when a woman she'd wanted didn't pan out.
But Callie sat there, looking into Regan's eyes. "Is it too soon?"
The concerned voice was a warm hug. That was it. That was something to hold on to. Who was the real Callie? The woman who looked like she'd combust if they didn't have s.e.x or the gentle friend who, she knew, would take a bullet for her? It was impossible to tell. They'd only had two weeks together. The panic started to ebb. They could figure this out. She nodded quickly and decisively. "Yes. That's it. It's too soon."
"You're still conflicted about Angela?"
Regan dropped her head and nodded. "I guess I am. I'm definitely confused."
Callie wrapped her in a comforting hug, murmuring into her ear, "It's okay. Really. It's okay. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. It's fine, Regan. It's fine."
Regan had no idea how she was able to switch gears so quickly, but she'd never been more grateful to anyone. Callie had diffused a terrible situation with just a few words and a gentle hug. The temptation was fierce to fall back into her arms and kiss her until dawn, but it was too confusing. Nothing made sense, and she'd never have s.e.x with someone she wasn't sure of.
Regan gazed into Callie's eyes for a long time. "Are you sure? I never, ever want to do anything to hurt you or our friends.h.i.+p." That was the truth. That was one thing that couldn't change, no matter what.
"You haven't hurt a thing. We'll just chalk this up to..." She laughed softly. "Something, and put it away. No pressure."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. We'll slow down. Give you time to catch up to where I am."
They kissed tenderly, the pull so strong it hurt deep in Regan's chest. Who had leaned in first? It was impossible to say. When she pulled away, Callie's lips followed her, and the longing in her eyes made Regan's heart begin to thump quickly. "The worst thing we could do is try and fail to make it as a couple. That would devastate me," she said, meaning every word.
"You're right. It's too important to make a mistake. You've got to be ready."
"Yes, yes!" Regan took her by the shoulders and pressed harder than she should have. "That would be awful! As bad as it was for me when I left Angela." Callie burrowed against her body and Regan felt the rea.s.suring safety of Callie's warmth.
"It means so much to me to have you feel like that about our friends.h.i.+p. It's a wonderful feeling."
"I won't hurt you, Callie. I promise I won't."
After brus.h.i.+ng their teeth, they deliberately got back into bed, each of them almost hanging off her respective side. Callie tried to clear her mind of the swirling emotions that could have kept her up all night. She finally calmed herself with the obvious truth. Regan was attracted to her. There was no doubt about that. All she had to do was wait for her to flush the remains of Angela from her system, and they would be able to kiss and never stop. Never, ever stop. It would take some time, but she had plenty of that. Waiting for something wonderful was always worth it. Regan just needed to clear her head of bad memories.
She replayed in her mind the fantastic sensations that Regan had just gifted her with. Thinking of those soft, insistent lips, and the power she felt in that lithe body, Callie imagined the day when they'd share a bed with not a hairsbreadth between them. There was no question. Regan would be the partner she'd always wanted. Honest, loyal, compelling, alluring. Every lovely attribute she could want. That was Regan.
The next morning the alarm woke them long before either was ready to get out of bed. Regan was grumbling to herself when she shuffled into the bathroom, and Callie got up and started packing so they could stop and get a cup of coffee before they went to the airport.
When Regan came out of the bath, she stood in the doorway of the bedroom and seemed unusually unsure of herself. Callie looked up and saw her bloodshot eyes and the dark smudges under them. "Are you okay?" She tried not to be too obvious about how bad Regan looked.
"No." She walked over to the bed and sat down right next to Callie. "I couldn't sleep. I...I want to make something clear," she said, as Callie noticed her hands were shaking.
"About last night?"
Regan looked up, giving her a relieved gaze. "Yeah. I want to explain, but I don't know how. I acted really impulsively and that's not like me. I just hope..."
Callie put a hand on her shoulder. "I told you last night that it was fine. I meant that."
"But I want to make sure you know..."
"I know you care about me, right?" Callie asked gently.
Regan's eyes closed and she looked terribly sad, like she would start crying at any second. "Yeah." Her voice was hoa.r.s.e and rough. "Very much."
"And you know how much I care about you too, right?"
A faint smile turned up the corners of her mouth. "Yeah," she nodded, looking down.
"But you're still grieving." She squatted down so she was at eye-level with Regan and she stared deeply into her eyes. "Our friends.h.i.+p has to come first, right?"
Regan looked like she wanted to say something, but she shook her head the faintest amount and returned Callie's gaze. "Right."
"And we both have to be ready, right?"
Now looking more sure, Regan nodded forcefully. "Right. That's critical." She stood up and put her hands on Callie's shoulders. "I'll try to be the best friend you've ever had...I promise that."
Chapter Eighteen.
Callie was on the phone with Terri during the entire drive from DFW airport to her apartment. She lost the signal for a few minutes, but called her back once she was in her room. "So...I think I'm going to move there."
"That's crazy! You moved to Dallas for Marina and now you're going to move to Boston for Regan. I hope you don't meet someone from Cuba. You can't legally move there, you know."
"I moved to Dallas for Marina. That's the truth. But I'm moving to Boston for more than Regan. I can't even begin to tell you how much I loved it, Terri. You've been there...you know."
"I liked it, but I didn't love it. It's too big of a city for me."
"Ooo, not for me. We walked from one end to the other and it only took a couple of hours. It didn't seem that big to me. Not at all. And you can get by without a car. Try that in Phoenix."
"You could do it. The Anasazi didn't have cars." It was clear Terri was teasing, but Callie knew her friend would never share her need for lots of activities and changing weather.
"I'm going to do it, Ter. I should have done something like this years ago. Then I might have avoided wasting a year and a half of my life with Marina."
"I wish you hadn't had that fiasco, but it let you know you could be with a woman."
"I think I always knew that. But now I want to be with one. I want it so badly I can taste it."
"But you don't know she wants the same thing. It'd probably be smarter to wait until she's ready to take that next step."
"Maybe," she agreed. "But I've wasted too many years living someplace I didn't love. I can't let Regan decide where I live and when I live there. Besides, if I'm there, she'll slip again and next time she won't want to bail out. I'm certain of that."
That night, Regan called, and Callie could tell she wasn't quite herself as soon as she said, "h.e.l.lo."
"Hi. Did you get a nap today?"
"No, I went in to work. Delaney needed a day off, and since she took up some of my slack this week, I thought I'd better return the favor."
"You sound grouchy. Did you have a bad day?"
"No, it was fine. But there's something on my mind. It's been gnawing at me. I guess that makes me a little...off."
"What is it?"
"It's...it's about what happened last night."
"Hey," Callie soothed. "I promise you that was nothing to worry about."
"I'm not worried," she began, but stopped herself short. "Maybe I am. I'm not real clear right now."
"Tell me what's going on. Come on. You can tell me anything. Promise."
Regan hesitated for a few seconds, then said, "I really want you to move here. I know you'd love it, and I know I'd love to see you a lot more often. But I don't think it's a good idea to have you live with me."
It felt as though she'd been kicked. Regan didn't sound cold, but her tone made clear that her mind was made up. It seemed impossible to talk without betraying her hurt, but she had to try. "I don't have to come at all. Maybe it's best."
"No, that's not it. I'd love to have you here. I just don't think living together is good."
"Well, we don't live together now...so I guess we don't have to in Boston." She was trying to sound lighthearted, but she was sure it wasn't working.
"I want to be clear about something. I'm not a person who says things just to make someone feel better. I try to be honest, even when I wish I didn't have to be. I truly want you to move here. I'm one hundred percent certain about that. I just think I need the experience of living alone. I don't like it, but I think it's good for me. I think it's helping me mature."
"You're more mature than anyone I know. But I think you know yourself really well, and if you think you need this, you probably do."
"I think I do. But that's obviously not the only reason. I really don't act impulsively very often, and what I did last night puzzles the heck out of me. I need to figure out what's going on in my head and I think that'd be hard for me with you right here. I promised you I wouldn't hurt you, and I have to live alone to make sure I can keep that promise."
Callie felt an ache welling up in her chest. "You're a good friend. I know it wasn't easy for you to tell me this, but I admire you for doing it."
"I don't want you to admire me, I want you to believe me."
Callie could feel the depth of Regan's sincerity and she found herself smiling when she said, "I think I'll do both."
Later that night Callie reached Terri after she'd gotten off work. After they'd talked for a long time Terri said, "Tell me again what she said. Try to think of the exact words."