The Clothes Have No Emperor Part 9

Navy Secretary John Lehman announces changes in procurement techniques designed to eliminate expenditures like $1,118 for a 17-cent plastic stool leg cap, or $2,043 for a 13-cent nut, or $9,606 for a 12-cent Allen wrench.

DECEMBER 1983.

12/1/83.

Rita Lavelle is convicted of three counts of perjury and of obstructing a congressional investigation. She gets six months and a $10,000 fine.

12/1/83.

At the Golden Nugget, Frank Sinatra tells South Korean blackjack dealer Kyong Kim to "go back to China" when she refuses to break New Jersey rules and deal his cards face down from her hand, rather than face up from a mechanical "shoe." She accedes to his wishes when he threatens never to sing at the hotel again and to have her fired if she doesn't.

12/3/83.

Concrete barricades are erected in front of the White House to prevent truck bombers from cruising in as easily as they seem to in Beirut.

12/3/83.

"There is no question that many well-intentioned Great Society-type programs contributed to family break-ups, welfare dependency and a large increase in births out of wedlock."

--President Reagan blaming the problems of the poor on anti-poverty programs 12/3/83.

"She's a great lady. When I say she's a woman, I'm talking about people who are superior to men. Please don't print what I just said."

--US Information Agency chief Charles Wick, who has just claimed that British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher opposed the invasion of Grenada because she's "a woman"

12/6/83.

The Israeli newspaper Maariv Maariv reports that during a meeting with Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir, President Reagan who spent World War II making training films in Hollywood claimed to have served as a photographer in an army unit filming the horrors of n.a.z.i death camps. Shamir says Reagan also claimed to have saved a copy in case there was ever any question as to whether things had really been so bad. When asked just that question by a family member, Shamir quotes him as saying, "This is the time for which I saved the film, and I showed it to a group of people who couldn't believe their eyes." reports that during a meeting with Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir, President Reagan who spent World War II making training films in Hollywood claimed to have served as a photographer in an army unit filming the horrors of n.a.z.i death camps. Shamir says Reagan also claimed to have saved a copy in case there was ever any question as to whether things had really been so bad. When asked just that question by a family member, Shamir quotes him as saying, "This is the time for which I saved the film, and I showed it to a group of people who couldn't believe their eyes."

12/6/83.

"[Not] until now has there ever been a time in which so many of the prophecies are coming together. There have been times in the past when people thought the end of the world was coming, and so forth, but never anything like this."

--President Reagan revealing a disturbing view about the "coming of Armageddon"

12/8/83.

Continuing his tradition of holiday season insensitivity, an obviously well-fed Ed Meese scoffs at the notion that the Administration's policies are unnecessarily cruel to the poor. "I don't know of any authoritative figures that there are hungry children," he declares. "I've heard a lot of anecdotal stuff, but I haven't heard any authoritative figures ... I think some people are going to soup kitchens voluntarily. I know we've had considerable information that people go to soup kitchens because the food is free and that that's easier than paying for it ... I think that they have money."

12/12/83.

"A B-17 coming back across the channel from a raid over Europe, badly shot up by anti-aircraft ... The young ball-turret gunner was wounded, and they couldn't get him out of the turret there while flying. But over the channel, the plane began to lose alt.i.tude, and the commander had to order bail out. And as the men started to leave the plane, the last one to leave the boy, understandably, knowing he was being left behind to go down with the plane, cried out in terror the last man to leave the plane saw the commander sit down on the floor. He took the boy's hand and said, 'Never mind, son, we'll ride it down together.' Congressional Medal of honor posthumously awarded."

--President Reagan addressing the Congressional Medal of Honor Society 12/12/83.

Introducing this year's White House Santa, black action star Mr. T, as "a man who I admire a lot," Nancy Reagan plops herself in his lap and plants a kiss on the top of his bald head.

12/15/83.

Ed Meese tells the National Press Club that literature's cla.s.sic miser, Ebenezer Scrooge, to whom he has recently been compared, suffered from a "bad press in his time. If you really look at the facts, he didn't exploit Bob Cratchit." Explains Meese, "Bob Cratchit was paid ten s.h.i.+llings a week, which was a very good wage at that time ... Bob, in fact, had good cause to be happy with his situation. He lived in a house, not a tenement. His wife didn't have to work ... He was able to afford the traditional Christmas dinner of roast goose and plum pudding ... So let's be fair to Scrooge. He had his faults, but he wasn't unfair to anyone."

12/16/83.

Columnist Lars-Erik Nelson after checking the citations on all 434 Congressional Medals of Honor awarded during World War II reveals that not one of them matches the story President Reagan told the other day. "It's not true," writes Nelson. "It didn't happen. It's a Reagan story ... The President of the United States went before an audience of 300 real Congressional Medal of Honor winners and told them about a make-believe Medal of Honor winner." Responds Larry Speakes, "If you tell the same story five times, it's true."

12/20/83.

At his 21st press conference, President Reagan claims that El Salvador has "a 400-year history of military dictators.h.i.+ps," though the first military regime didn't take power until 1931.

12/21/83.

The Was.h.i.+ngton Post reports that the White House is feverishly searching the Medal of Honor files in an effort to verify President Reagan's story. Says a researcher, "We will find it." They never do. reports that the White House is feverishly searching the Medal of Honor files in an effort to verify President Reagan's story. Says a researcher, "We will find it." They never do.

12/21/83.

Gerald and Betty Ford and Henry Kissinger make "special guest star" appearances on the cheesy night-time soap Dynasty Dynasty, where actress Joan Collins' character tells Kissinger, "Henry, h.e.l.lo! ... I haven't seen you since Portofino," she says, adding lewdly, "It was fun." He is identified in the credits as "Dr. Henry Kissinger."

12/24/83.

At a Chicago celebration for the 12th anniversary of his organization Operation PUSH, Rev. Jesse Jackson hops into Mr. T's lap, though he does not kiss his head.

12/26/83.

"I've never done it without telling."

--Charles Wick who returned from a trip to Africa with the observation that "some of them have marvelous minds, those black people over there" denying that he ever secretly recorded telephone conversations 12/27/83.

"I often advised the caller that I was recording the conversation or a portion of it, but in haste I did not do this consistently."

--Charles Wick telling The New York Times The New York Times that, upon reflection, perhaps he does recall having done a little secret taping that, upon reflection, perhaps he does recall having done a little secret taping 12/28/83.

Dr. George Graham, a member of the President's Task Force on Food a.s.sistance, says he doubts that "anyone in their right mind believes that there is a ma.s.sive hunger problem." He further claims that black children are "probably the best-nourished group in the United States."

12/28/83.

Lars-Erik Nelson reports that a reader saw a scene very similar to President Reagan's Medal of Honor story in the 1944 movie Wing and a Prayer Wing and a Prayer. "Adding to the confusion," writes Nelson, "Dana Andrews at one point reprimands a glory-seeking young pilot with the words: 'This isn't Hollywood.' ... You could understand that some in the audience might confuse reality with fiction."

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JANUARY 1984.

1/4/84.

Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Thayer resigns amid charges of insider trading. He serves 19 months for perjury and obstruction of justice.

1/9/84.

Charles Wick celebrates Richard Nixon's 71st birthday by apologizing for secretly taping "a small percentage" of his phone conversations.

1/10/84.

Was.h.i.+ngton Post: REAGAN TASK FORCE FINDS NO EVIDENCE OF GREAT HUNGER 1/11/84.

Columnist Lars-Erik Nelson suggests another source for the Medal of Honor story: an apocryphal item in the April 1944 issue of Reader's Digest Reader's Digest, a magazine known to be a life-long Reagan favorite. "The bomber had been almost ripped apart by German cannon," it read. "The ball turret gunner was badly wounded and stuck in the blister on the underside of the fuselage. Crewmen worked frantically to extricate the youngster, but there was nothing they could do. They began to jump. The terror-stricken lad screamed in fear as he saw what was happening. The last man to jump heard the remaining crewman, a gunner, say, 'Take it easy, kid. We'll take this ride together.'"

1/15/84.

"If you deal with text out of context, you have a pretext."

--Jesse Jackson speaking gobbledygook at a Democratic primary debate 1/16/84.

A testy Gary Hart "the candidate with new ideas," as his campaign literature describes him admits that he was born in 1936 and not, as he has been claiming for years, 1937. "It's whenever the records say," he says. "It's not a big deal." He later explains that the discrepancy stems from some "lighthearted" family controversy about his mother's age, though his uncle, Ralph Hartpence doubts Gary's mother by all accounts a severe, humorless woman "had anything to do with it."

Doubt is also cast on the candidate's claim that the 1961 change in the family name from Hartpence to Hart was initiated by his parents. Uncle Ralph thinks Gary foresaw a political career for himself and wanted to embark upon it without his childhood nickname, "Hot Pants," coming back to haunt him.

1/17/84.

The Supreme Court rules 5-4 that recording TV broadcasts with a VCR is legal, sparing the government a serious enforcement dilemma.

1/20/84.

During a White House meeting about acid rain, President Reagan repeatedly calls EPA chief William Ruckelshaus "Don."

Chief of staff James Baker finally slips the President a note telling him to stop.

1/22/84.

"You've given me some problems. I have already had a call from Moscow. They think that Marcus Allen is a new secret weapon and they insist that we dismantle him."

--President Reagan injecting inane Soviet-bas.h.i.+ng into his inevitable post-Super Bowl call congratulating Raiders coach Tom Flores 1/23/84.

President Reagan nominates Ed Meese as the new head of the Justice Department. Observes Sen. Howard Metzenbaum (D-OH), "William French Smith has not been a distinguished attorney general, but this is getting ridiculous."

1/27/84.

"You find yourself remembering what it was like when on the spur of the moment you could just yell to your wife that you were going down to the drugstore and get a magazine. You can't do that anymore."

--President Reagan telling Time Time a story he hasn't told the magazine in more than 17 months a story he hasn't told the magazine in more than 17 months 1/31/84.

Having declared his candidacy for re-election, President Reagan defends himself against charges of callousness on Good Morning America Good Morning America, arguing that you can't help those who simply will not be helped. "One problem that we've had, even in the best of times," says the President, "is the people who are sleeping on the grates, the homeless who are homeless, you might say, by choice." Does David Hartman ask him to explain the idea of someone choosing choosing homelessness? Of course not. homelessness? Of course not.

FEBRUARY 1984.

2/2/84.

"The White House is engaging in a new form of McCarthyism Charlie McCarthyism."

--Tip O'Neill aide Chris Matthews on the propensity for underlings to speak for the President 2/2/84.

"If you could add together the power of prayer of the people just in this room, what would be its megatonnage?"

--President Reagan posing an unanswerable question at a national prayer breakfast 2/6/84.

President Reagan celebrates his 73rd birthday "the 34th anniversary of my 39th birthday" in his hometown of Dixon, Illinois. "It's great to be back home," he says. "And, you know, if our old house on Hennepin Avenue looked as good in 1924 as it does now, I might never have left." Everyone laughs and laughs.

2/7/84.

President Reagan announces plans to get the Marines out of Beirut and onto offsh.o.r.e s.h.i.+ps, describing the retreat as "decisive new steps." Explains Larry Speakes, "We don't consider this a withdrawal but more of a redeployment."

2/12/84.

"Can a handicapped person run the nation? One is now!"

--Jesse Jackson, dismissing the notion that a disabled person could not be President 2/13/84.

The Was.h.i.+ngton Post reports that Jesse Jackson, in private conversations, "has referred to Jews as 'Hymie' and to New York as 'Hymietown.'" reports that Jesse Jackson, in private conversations, "has referred to Jews as 'Hymie' and to New York as 'Hymietown.'"

2/16/84.

Welcoming n.a.z.i hunter Simon Wiesenthal and Rabbi Marvin Hier to the White House, President Reagan again claims, according to Hier, to have "photographed n.a.z.i atrocities while he was with the Signal Corps." When reporters question this account, James Baker elicits from Reagan the clarification that he "never left the country" during the war and "never told anyone that he did." As to how Shamir and Hier in two separate meetings could have come away with the same wrong story, Baker has no explanation.

2/17/84.

While an aide 30 feet away briefs reporters on the pullout of Marines from Lebanon, President Reagan fulfills the duties of his office by arm-wrestling for the cameras with the publisher of a body-building magazine.

2/20/84.

New York Times: REAGAN REPORTED IN DARK ON TALKS / SECURITY AIDE SAYS PRESIDENT WAS UNAWARE OF CONTACTS U.S. HAD WITH P.L.O.

2/23/84.

"Our country stands before two paths ... our past and our future ... one path ... the course of the old ... other path ... new leaders.h.i.+p ... new generation of leaders.h.i.+p ... new generation of leaders.h.i.+p ... new generation of leaders.h.i.+p ... new generation of leaders.h.i.+p ... new strategies ... new generation of leaders.h.i.+p ... new ways ... new help ... new generation of leaders.h.i.+p ... new job skills ... new tax ... new generation of leaders.h.i.+p ... new generation of leaders.h.i.+p ... new generation of leaders.h.i.+p ... new generation of leaders.h.i.+p ... new path ..."

--Excerpts from the basic Gary Hart campaign speech, which evokes comments from supporters like, "He's doing the things that ought to be done, whatever that is," "I'm really excited about him. He's got new ways of doing things," and "Hart. John Hart. I like him"

2/23/84.

At a debate in New Hamps.h.i.+re, Jesse Jackson tells moderator Barbara Walters he has "no recollection" of using the terms "Hymie" or "Hymietown."

2/25/84.

"I'm here! It's me! It's Mayor Koch! I'm here!"

--New York mayor Ed Koch at the Berlin Wall, announcing his presence to East German soldiers who wonder why a fat bald man is braying at them 2/26/84.

"That he was governor. That he went up to the moon. You know he's well-known."