Grass For His Pillow Part 2

s.h.i.+zuka laughed. "He's quite a clever fellow, and a ruthless fighter. It's easy to misjudge or underestimate him. You were not the only person surprised by him. Were you afraid at that moment?"

Kaede tried to remember. "No, mainly because there was no time. I wished I had a sword."

s.h.i.+zuka said, "You have the gift of courage."

"It's not true. I am often afraid."

"No one would ever guess," s.h.i.+zuka murmured. They had come to an inn in a small town on the border of the s.h.i.+rakawa domain. Kaede had been able to bathe in the hot spring, and she was now in her night attire, waiting for the evening meal to be brought. Her welcome at the inn had been perfunctory, and the town itself made her uneasy. There seemed to be little food, and the people were sullen and dispirited.

She was bruised down one side from the fall, and she feared for the child. She was also nervous about meeting her father. Would he believe she had married Lord Otori? She could not imagine his fury if he discovered the truth.

"I don't feel very brave at the moment," she confessed.

s.h.i.+zuka said, "I'll ma.s.sage your head. You look exhausted."

But even as she leaned back and enjoyed the feeling of the girl's fingers against her scalp Kaede's misgivings increased. She remembered what they had been talking about at the moment of the attack.

"You will be home tomorrow," s.h.i.+zuka said, feeling her tension. "The journey is nearly over."

"s.h.i.+zuka, answer me truthfully: What's the real reason you stay with me? Is it to spy on me? Who employs the Muto now?"

"No one employs us at the moment. Iida's downfall has thrown the whole of the Three Countries into confusion. Arai is saying he will wipe out the Tribe. We don't know yet if he is serious or if he will come to his senses and work with us. In the meantime my uncle, Kenji, who admires Lady s.h.i.+rakawa greatly, wants to be kept informed of her welfare and her intentions."

And of my child, Kaede thought, but did not speak it. Instead she asked, "My intentions?" Kaede thought, but did not speak it. Instead she asked, "My intentions?"

"You are heir to one of the richest and most powerful domains in the West, Maruyama, as well as to your own estate of s.h.i.+rakawa. Whoever you marry will become a key player in the future of the Three Countries. At the moment everyone a.s.sumes you will maintain the alliance with Arai, strengthening his position in the West while he settles the Otori question; your destiny is closely linked with the Otori clan and with the Middle Country too."

"I may marry no one," Kaede said, half to herself. And in that case, And in that case, she was thinking, she was thinking, why should I not become a key player myself? why should I not become a key player myself?

3.

The sounds of the temple at Terayama, the midnight bell, the chanting of the monks, faded from my hearing as I followed the two masters, Kikuta Ko-taro and Muto Kenji, down a lonely path, steep and overgrown, alongside the stream. We went swiftly, the noise of the tumbling water hiding our footsteps. We said little and we saw no one.

By the time we came to Yamagata, it was nearly dawn and the first c.o.c.ks were crowing. The streets of the town were deserted, though the curfew was lifted and the Tohan no longer there to patrol them. We came to a merchant's house in the middle of the town, not far from the inn where we had stayed during the Festival of the Dead. I already knew the street from when I had explored the town at night. It seemed a lifetime ago.

Kenji's daughter, Yuki, opened the gate as though she had been waiting for us all night, even though we came so silently that not a dog barked. She said nothing, but I caught the intensity in the look she gave me. Her face, her vivid eyes, her graceful, muscular body, brought back all too clearly the terrible events at Inuyama the night s.h.i.+geru died. I had half-expected to see her atTerayama, for it was she who had traveled day and night to take s.h.i.+geru's head to the temple and break the news of his death. There were many things I would have liked to have questioned her about: her journey, the uprising at Yamagata, the overthrow of the Tohan. As her father and the Kikuta master went ahead into the house, I lingered a little so that she and I stepped up on to the veranda together. A low light was burning by the doorway.

She said, "I did not expect to see you alive again."

"I did not expect to live." Remembering her skill and her ruth-lessness, I added, "I owe you a huge debt. I can never repay you."

She smiled. "I was repaying debts of my own. You owe me nothing. But I hope we will be friends."

The word did not seem strong enough to describe what we already were. She had brought s.h.i.+geru's sword, Jato, to me and had helped me in his rescue and revenge: the most important and most desperate acts of my life. I was filled with grat.i.tude for her, mingled with admiration.

She disappeared for a moment and came back with water. I washed my feet, listening to the two masters talking within the house. They planned to rest for a few few hours, then I would travel on with Ko-taro. I shook my head wearily. I was tired of listening. hours, then I would travel on with Ko-taro. I shook my head wearily. I was tired of listening.

"Come," she said, and led me into the center of the house, where, as in Inuyama, there was a concealed room as narrow as an eel's bed.

"Am I a prisoner again?" I said, looking around at the window-less walls.

"No, it's only for your own safety, to rest for a few hours. Then you will travel on."

"I know; I heard."

"Of course," she said. "I forgot: You hear everything."

"Too much," I said, sitting down on the mattress that was already spread out on the floor.

"Gifts are hard. But it's better to have them than not. I'll get you some food, and tea is ready."

She came back in a few moments. I drank the tea but could not face food. "There's no hot water to bathe," she said. "I'm sorry."

"I'll live." Twice already she had bathed me. Once here, in Yamagata, when I did not know who she was and she had scrubbed my back and ma.s.saged my temples, and then again in Inuyama, when I could barely walk. The memory came flooding over me. Her gaze met mine, and I knew she was thinking of the same thing. Then she looked away and said quietly, "I'll leave you to sleep."

I placed my knife close to the mattress and slid beneath the quilt without bothering to undress. I thought of what Yuki had said about gifts. I did not think I would ever be as happy again as I had been in the village where I was born, Mino-but in Mino I was a child, and now the village was destroyed, my family all dead. I knew I must not dwell on the past. I had agreed to come to the Tribe. It was because of my gifts that they wanted me so badly, and it was only with the Tribe that I would learn to develop and control the skills I had been given.

I thought of Kaede, whom I had left sleeping atTerayama. Hopelessness came over me, followed by resignation. I would never see her again. I would have to forget her. Slowly the town started to wake around me. Finally, as the light brightened beyond the doors, I slept.

I woke suddenly to the sound of men and horses in the street beyond the walls of the house. The light in the room had changed, as though the sun had crossed above the roof, but I had no idea how long I'd slept. A man was shouting and in reply a woman was complaining, growing angry. I caught the gist of the words. The men were Arai's, going from house to house, looking for me.

I pushed back the quilt and felt for the knife. As I picked it up the door slid open and Kenji came silently into the room. The false wall was locked into place behind him. He looked at me briefly, shook his head, and sat down cross-legged on the floor in the tiny s.p.a.ce between the mattress and the wall.

I recognized the voices; the men had been at Terayama with Arai. I heard Yuki calming the angry woman down, offering the men a drink.

"We're all on the same side now," she said, and laughed. "Do you think if Otori Takeo were here we'd be able to hide him?"

The men drank quickly and left. As their footsteps died away Kenji snorted through his nose and gave me one of his disparaging looks. "No one can pretend not to have heard of you in Yamagata," he said. "s.h.i.+geru's death made him a G.o.d; Iida's has turned you into a hero. It's a story the people are wild about." He sniffed and added, "Don't let it go to your head. It's extremely annoying. Now Arai's mounted a full-scale search for you. He's taking your disappearance as a personal insult. Luckily your face is not too well known here, but we'll have to disguise you." He studied my features, frowning. "That Otori look... you'll have to conceal it."

He was interrupted by a sound outside as the wall was lifted away. Kikuta Kotaro came in, followed by Akio, the young man who had been one of my captors in Inuyama. Yuki stepped after them, bringing tea.

The Kikuta master gave me a nod as I bowed to him. "Akio has been out in the town, listening to the news."

Akio dropped to his knees before Kenji and inclined his head slightly to me. I responded in the same way. When he and the other Tribe members had kidnapped me in Inuyama, they had been doing their best to restrain me without hurting me. I had been fighting in earnest. I had wanted to kill him. I had cut him. I could see now that his left hand still bore a half-healed scar, red and inflamed. We had hardly spoken before; he had reprimanded me for my lack of manners and had accused me of breaking every rule of the Tribe. There had been little goodwill between us. Now when our eyes met I felt his deep hostility.

Akio said, "It seems Lord Arai is furious that this person left without permission and refused a marriage that the lord desired. Lord Arai has issued orders for this person's arrest, and he intends to investigate the organization known as the Tribe, which he considers illegal and undesirable." He bowed again to Kotaro and said stiffly, "I'm sorry, but I do not know what this persons name is to be."

The master nodded and stroked his chin, saying nothing. We had talked about names before and he had told me to continue using Takeo-though, as he said, it had never been a Tribe name. Was I to take the family name of Kikuta now? And what would my given name be? I did not want to give up Takeo, the name s.h.i.+geru had given me, but if I was no longer to be one of the Otori, what right did I have to it?

"Arai is offering rewards for information," Yuki said, placing a bowl of tea on the matting in front of each of us.

"No one in Yamagata will dare to volunteer information," Akio said. "They'll be dealt with if they do!"

"It's what I was afraid of," Kotaro said to Kenji. "Arai has had no real dealings with us, and now he fears our power."

"Should we eliminate him?" Akio said eagerly. "We-"

Kotaro made a movement with his hand, and the young man bowed again and fell silent.

"With Iida gone, there is already a lack of stability. If Arai should perish, too, who knows what anarchy would break out?"

Kenji said, "I don't see Arai as any great danger. Threats and bl.u.s.ter, perhaps, but no more than that in the long run. As things have turned out now, he is our best hope for peace." He glanced at me. "That's what we desire above all. We need some degree of order for our work to flourish."

"Arai will return to Inuyama and make that his capital," Yuki said. "It is easier to defend and more central than k.u.mamoto, and he has claimed all Iida's lands by right of conquest."

"Unh," Kotaro grunted. He turned to me. "I had planned for you to return to Inuyama with me. I have matters to attend to there for the next few weeks, and you would have begun your training there. However, it may be better if you remain here for a few days. We will then take you north beyond the Middle Country, to another of the Kikuta houses, where no one has heard of Otori Takeo-where you will start a new life. Do you know how to juggle?"

I shook my head.

"You have a week to learn. Akio will teach you. Yuki and some of the other actors will accompany you. I will meet you in Matsue."

I bowed, saying nothing. I looked from under my lowered eyelids at Akio. He was staring downward, frowning, the line deep between his eyes. He was only three or four years older than I was, but at that moment it was possible to see what he would be like as an old man. So he was a juggler. I was sorry I had cut his clever juggler's hand, but I thought my actions perfectly justified. Still, the fight lay between us, along with other feelings, unresolved, festering.

Kotaro said, "Kenji, your a.s.sociation with Lord s.h.i.+geru has singled you out in this affair. Too many people know that this is your main place of residence. Arai will certainly have you arrested if you stay here."

"I'll go to the mountains for a while," Kenji replied. "Visit the old people, spend some time with the children." He smiled, looking like my harmless old teacher again.

"Excuse me, but what is this person to be called?" Akio said.

"He can take a name as an actor for the time being," Kotaro said. "What his Tribe name is depends-"

There was some meaning behind his words that I did not understand, but Akio all too clearly did. "His father renounced the Tribe!" he burst out. "He turned his back on us!"

"But his son has returned, with all the gifts of the Kikuta," the master replied. "However, for now, in everything you are his senior. Takeo, you will submit to Akio and learn from him."

A smile played on his lips. I think he knew how hard that would be for me. Kenji's face was rueful, as if he also could foresee trouble.

"Akio has many skills," Kotaro went on. "You are to master them." He waited for my acceptance, then told Akio and Yuki to leave. Yuki refilled the tea bowls before she left, and the two older men drank noisily. I could smell food cooking. It seemed like days since I'd last eaten. I was sorry I had not accepted Yuki's offer of food the previous night; I was faint with hunger.

Kotaro said, "I told you I was first cousin to your father. I did not tell you that he was older than me and would have become master at our grandfather's death. Akio is my nephew and my heir. Your return raises questions of inheritance and seniority. How we deal with them depends on your conduct in the next few months."

It took me a couple of moments to grasp his meaning. "Akio was brought up in the Tribe," I said slowly. "He knows everything I don't know. There must be many others like that. I've no wish to take his or anyone else's place."

"There are many," Kotaro replied, "and all of them more obedient, better trained, and more deserving than you. But none has the Kikuta gift of hearing to the extent that you have it, and no one else could have gone alone into Yamagata Castle as you did."

That episode seemed like something from a past life. I could hardly remember the impulse that had driven me to climb into the castle and release into death the Hidden who were encaged in baskets and hung from the castle walls, the first time I had killed. I wished I had never done it: If I had not drawn the Tribe's attention to myself so dramatically, maybe they would not have taken me before... before... I shook myself. There was no point in endlessly trying to unravel the threads that had woven s.h.i.+geru's death.

"However, now that I've said that," Kotaro continued, "you must know that I cannot treat you in any way differently from the others of your generation. I cannot have favorites. Whatever your skills, they are useless to us unless we also have your obedience. I don't have to remind you that you have already pledged this to me. You will stay here for a week. You must not go outside or let anyone know you are here. In that week you must learn enough to pa.s.s as a juggler. I will meet you at Matsue before winter. It's up to you to go through the training with complete obedience."

"Who knows when I will meet you again?" Kenji said, regarding me with his usual mixture of affection and exasperation. "My work with you is done," he went on. "I found you, taught you, kept you alive somehow, and brought you back to the Tribe. You'll find Akio tougher than I was." He grinned, showing the gaps between his teeth. "But Yuki will look after you."

There was something in the way he said it that made the color rise in my face. We had done nothing, had not even touched each other, but something existed between us, and Kenji was aware of it.

Both masters were grinning as they stood up and embraced me.

Kenji gave me a cuff round the head. "Do as you're told," he said. "And learn to juggle."

I wished Kenji and I could have spoken alone. There was so much still unresolved between us. Yet, maybe it was better that he should bid me farewell as though he truly were an affectionate teacher whom I had outgrown. Besides, as I was to learn, the Tribe do not waste time on the past and do not like to be confronted with it.

After they'd left, the room seemed gloomier than ever, airless and stuffy. I could hear through the house the sounds of their departure. The elaborate preparations, the long good-byes of most travelers, were not for them. Kenji and Kotaro just walked out the door, carrying everything they needed for the road in their hands: light bundles in wrapping cloths, a spare pair of sandals, some rice cakes flavored with salted plums. I thought about them and the roads they must have walked, tracing and retracing their way across the Three Countries and beyond, for all I knew, following the vast web the Tribe spun from village to village, town to town. Wherever they went they would find relatives; they would never be without shelter or protection.

I heard Yuki say she would walk with them to the bridge, and heard the woman who'd been angry with the soldiers reply.

"Take care of yourselves," the woman called after them. The footsteps faded down the street.

The room seemed even more depressing and lonely. I couldn't imagine bemg confined in it for a week. Almost without realizing what I was doing, I was already planning to get out. Not to escape: I was quite resigned to staying with the Tribe. Just to get out. Partly to look at Yamagata again by night, partly to see if I could.

Not long after, I heard someone approaching. The door slid back and a woman stepped in. She was carrying a tray of food: rice, pickles, a small piece of dried fish, a bowl of soup. She knelt, placing the tray on the floor.

"Here, eat, you must be hungry."

I was famished. The smell of the food made me dizzy. I fell on it like a wolf. She sat and watched me while I ate.

"So you're the one who's been causing my poor old husband so much trouble," she remarked as I was polis.h.i.+ng the bowl for the last grains of rice.

Kenji's wife. I shot a look at her and met her gaze. Her face was smooth, as pale as his, with the similarity that many long-married couples attain. Her hair was still thick and black, with just a few white hairs appearing at the center of her scalp. She was thickset and solid, a true townswoman with square, short-fingered, capable hands. The only thing I could remember Kenji saying about her was that she was a good cook, and indeed the food was delicious.

I told her so, and as the smile moved from her lips to her eyes I saw in an instant that she was Yuki's mother. Their eyes were the same shape, and when she smiled, the expression was the same.

"Who'd have thought that you'd have turned up after all these years," she went on, sounding garrulous and motherly. "I knew Isamu, your father, well. And no one knew anything about you until that incident with s.h.i.+ntaro. Imagine you hearing and outwitting the most dangerous a.s.sa.s.sin in the Three Countries! The Kikuta family were delighted to discover Isamu had left a son. We all were. And one with such talents too!"

I didn't reply. She seemed a harmless old woman-but then, Kenji had appeared a harmless old man. I felt in myself a faint echo of the mistrust I'd had when I first saw Kenji in the street in Hagi. I tried to study her without appearing to, and she stared openly at me. I felt she was challenging me in some way, but I had no intention of responding until I'd found out more about her and her skills.

"Who killed my father?" I said instead.

"No one's ever found out. It was years before we even knew for certain that he was dead. He'd found an isolated place to hide himself in."

"Was it someone from the Tribe?"

That made her laugh, which angered me. "Kenji said you trusted no one. It's good, but you can trust me."

"Like I could trust him," I muttered.

"s.h.i.+geru's scheme would have killed you," she said mildly. "It's important for the Kikuta, for the whole Tribe, to keep you alive. It's so rare these days to find such a wealth of talent."

I grunted at that, trying to discern some hidden meaning beneath her flattery. She poured tea, and I drank it at a gulp. My head ached from the stuffy room.

"You're tense," she said, taking the bowl from my hands, and placing it on the tray. She moved the tray to one side and came closer to me. Kneeling behind me, she began to ma.s.sage my neck and shoulders. Her fingers were strong, pliant, and sensitive, all at the same time. She worked over my back and then, saying, "Close your eyes," began on my head. The sensation was exquisite. I almost groaned aloud. Her hands seemed to have a life of their own. I gave my head to them, feeling as though it were floating off my neck.