Her Every Pleasure Part 36

"My knapsack!" she suddenly exclaimed, pointing across the cave in recognition. She turned to Gabriel with an adoring look of grat.i.tude.

The trace of a smile softened his granite countenance.

"Wouldn't forget that."

"Did you bring my knife?" she asked eagerly.

"See for yourself."

As if he had promised to give her a handful of diamonds, she rushed across the back of the cave and crouched down to open the old canvas knapsack that Leon had always kept ready for her, the one she had escaped with on the night of the ambush. She peered inside and found that, indeed, all of her survival things were there. Including her knife.

She sent Gabriel a smile from ear to ear. The threat was over, but she strapped her favorite weapon to her thigh immediately. It instantly made her feel a good deal better.

He shook his head to himself in amus.e.m.e.nt, then took a long swig from his canteen.

Sophia slowly sat down on one of the fur throws beside the fire and stared into s.p.a.ce. Images of all that had happened were flas.h.i.+ng through her mind in the most rapid and disturbing fas.h.i.+on. She barely realized she was still s.h.i.+vering.

Gabriel frowned as he watched her, then he crossed to add fuel to the fire. This done, he went to the stash of supplies and picked up a small bottle of brandy and took the cork out. Pouring a large splash of it into a tin dipper, he brought it over and offered it to her.

"Take a few swallows of this," he ordered.

She stared blankly at the bottle. "Are you sure it's not drugged? That's how all of this started."

"Hey. Look at me."

She trembled again as she lifted her gaze to his. His cobalt eyes searched hers with probing depth.

"You're safe now. Drink this, Soph-Your Highness. You're as white as a ghost. Go on. It will help."

Hearing him address her as "Your Highness" once again was not an encouraging sign. He was keeping his distance, she realized.

But after what she had put him through, not even her royal self possessed the audacity to object. Taking the dipper from him without argument, she lowered her gaze and did as she was told.

"Just sit there and relax for a while," he said in his terse, no-nonsense way, still in commander mode it seemed. "You'll feel better in a bit."

Sophia was not about to argue. Sipping the fiery liquor, she grimaced at how strong it was, while Gabriel took the bottle and walked toward the hanging blanket.

"I'll give you some time alone. I'm sure you could use it. Be right out here," he muttered, then ducked out again.

Sophia frowned. It seemed as if he was the one who needed some time alone. All things considered, she couldn't blame him. She took another sip of brandy and tried to relax. Drawing her knees up to her chest where she sat, she closed her eyes for a moment and said a prayer for both Alexa and Demetrius.

As tears threatened, she sat up straight again, banis.h.i.+ng them. If she allowed herself to start crying, she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop. She turned her thoughts toward Gabriel and wondered uneasily if he was all right.

Shaking her head at the vivid memory of the savagery he had unleashed on those quite deserving barbarians, she found herself decidedly intimidated by him in a way she had not been before. She had to admit that this side of Gabriel left her a little afraid.

She dared not let him notice her newfound trepidation. After all he had just risked for her sake, she did not think he would appreciate her cowering from him as though he were some sort of wild beast.

After she had finished the brandy, she decided to go and check on him. She rose and went outside, and found him sitting on a boulder at the edge of the cave.

He was just sitting there in the darkness, staring off into the woods and the dark, starry horizon above them, a million miles away. Where are you right now? she wondered. Come back to me.

He took a large swig from the bottle. She frowned in concern and reached out to lay her hand on his shoulder as she approached, but when she saw him tremble once with the lingering aftermath of violence, she thought better of it. She did not dare risk startling him.

With a certain degree of caution, she joined him, uninvited. Going over to his side, she crouched down slowly, resting one knee on the stony ground. She studied him with an upward gaze, but he kept his head down, shutting her out, as deep in his brooding as he had been that first night she had spied him from the hayloft, lighting candles in the little ruined church.

Candles for the men he had slain.

He had a strange look about him. It worried her. He seemed so remote, she did not know if he would permit her to reach him.

When she laid her hand on his knee in silent, comforting inquiry, he still did not look at her, but after a long moment, he slowly turned his palm upward where his hand rested on his thigh.

A tremor of grat.i.tude swept through her at his silent, stoic invitation. Sophia gazed at him with her heart in her eyes as she rested her hand in his.

His fingers closed around hers with a gentleness that shook her after his ferocity up on the mountain.

"Are you...all right?" she murmured, dismayed by how weak the words were in expressing the fullness of her concern for him. How much she cared.

He nodded.

"Does your scar plague you?" she whispered.

He shrugged, still avoiding her searching gaze. "A little sore."

"Gabriel." When she bent her head and kissed his hand, he looked at her slowly, at last. His blue eyes focused on her as if from a great distance. "Thank you," she choked out.

She laid her head down on his thigh. Gradually, he let his hand come to rest on her hair. "Don't thank me," he said in a hollow tone. "It was my fault you had to go through all that in the first place."

"No, it's my fault you had to kill again. I dismissed you from your post and walked right into Alexa's trap. She knew me well enough to play upon my jealousy."

"Mine, too."

"Yours?" She lifted her head from his lap and gazed at him.

He shrugged self-consciously. "When she told me you had kissed the prince, I-"

"Kissed the prince?" she echoed. "But I didn't!"

He suddenly frowned at her. "You didn't?"

"No."

"Oh, for G.o.d's sake," he muttered, pausing with a look of extreme vexation with himself. "Well, that is what she told me, and I fell for it. And I thought that meant..." His words trailed off. He tried again. "I was hoping that I could forget you...with her. Obviously that was never going to work."

"It's over now. Please, don't be angry at yourself. It was her purpose to divide us so she could carry out her plan."

"I never would've thought she had it in her."

"Of course you didn't," Sophia said fondly. "Your chivalry causes you to look upon women tenderly. It's one of the things I find dearest about you." She gripped his hand more tightly. "We all were duped, Gabriel. Even those of us who knew her best-or thought we did. But if it's any consolation, she did not do it willingly. They threatened to kill her if she did not cooperate, poor creature."

"That I can believe," he a.s.sented. "But why didn't she come to us, and trust us with this threat?"

"She might have, if she had known how good you are. She had no way of knowing the extent of your abilities. Even Yannis looked to be in awe of you back there. You were truly magnificent tonight."

"Well, I am glad you think so," he said grimly, "but I would not blame you if you never spoke to me again."

"Nonsense, you saved my life. Gabriel, they were going to take me to Ali Pasha."

He nodded. "You said so all along, didn't you? That it was Ali Pasha behind it. You were right about that. You were right about a lot of things." He placed his hand on her shoulder and gave a tender squeeze as he gazed into her eyes. "You're safe now. That's all that matters. I'm not letting you out of my sight again. I will protect you. Always. I won't leave you, even if you've decided to marry the prince. That, Sophia, is my destiny."

She stared at him then lifted her arms around his neck and hugged him for a long moment. It felt wonderful to have him in her arms.

"I could never marry him," she whispered as Gabriel's hands alighted on her waist with a tentative touch. She did not let go, but kissed his cheek. "Even if the alliance could help Kavros, he would force the two of us apart, and I can't have that. I can't do without you, Gabriel. I need you too much."

He closed his eyes with a soulful look and laid his head down on her shoulder as she held him.

"I knew you'd come for me. I knew you would do whatever it took, even though I had fired you from your post."

"I did not come as your bodyguard," he whispered.

"I know." She hugged him a little more tightly and squeezed her eyes shut. "Oh, darling, I'm so sorry that you had to break your vow. I so did not want for you to have to do that."

"For you, gladly."

"I was trying to protect you," she confessed in a strangled voice. "Every day that's pa.s.sed, I've felt a deeper bond with you. And yet everything's turning more dangerous, and you're my first line of defense. I couldn't bear to lose you, like I'd lost my father and brothers and Leon. I care for you too much. I know I'm a fool. First, I dragged you into this and then I started to realize that I wanted you out of it for fear of anything happening to you. But I knew if I told you so, you would never back down and never quit."

She sniffled, tears in her eyes. Gabriel set her back a little and searched her face.

"When I saw you with Alexa, I seized my opportunity to send you away," she confessed. "Otherwise I might not have had the strength to let you go. That's why I would not listen to your apologies, and why I would not give you a second chance. Oh, darling, I know you, and I know what Alexa is-was," she corrected herself, flinching. "I know she was up to her old tricks and that it wasn't your doing. But what choice did I have? Or so I thought. It seemed the only way to protect you. All this, the a.s.sa.s.sins, it's my problem, not yours. The more I care for you, the more I know that you deserve to live in peace. You deserve to be happy. That's all I wanted."

"Sophia." He said her name barely audibly as he let out a slow exhalation. "Don't you understand?" He took her face between his hands with a stare full of fierce tenderness. "Being near you makes me happy. That's all I want. I can't believe you thought you were protecting me."

"You must think it rather amusing, in hindsight," she said with a somber smile. "Obviously, you can take care of yourself. I didn't know what you were capable of-I've never seen anything like that."

"I hope you never do again. Sophia. My sweet girl." He hugged her gently. "Don't worry about protecting me. That's my job, all right?"

She returned his embrace with fresh tears in her eyes. "Please don't say you feel d.a.m.ned for my sake."

"No. I see it differently now."

"You do?"

He nodded and pulled her onto his lap. "It started while we were tracking you. Thanks for all of your excellent clues, by the way, you brilliant creature." He kissed her temple. "At any rate, it all came clear to me on the way up this mountain."

"What came clear?"

"It wasn't the act of killing itself that had me destined for a fiery place," he murmured in a musing tone, his gaze turning faraway. "It was the way I used to think about it and treat it, in my mind. Almost like a sport," he admitted grimly. "Not that I ever enjoyed killing. But I took a certain pride in my skill and I desired to be the best."

"What's wrong with that? Of course you want to win, especially when your life is at stake-and those of your men."

"Well, all I know is that there is a greater purpose in it for me now. What the h.e.l.l do I care how much of India England controls on any given day?" He sent her a wry glance with his grim admission, but did not retract his words. Instead, he shook his head. "But saving you?" He paused. "Back at the farmhouse, I was trying to escape the past and change what I was, but tonight, I am glad of every single one of my abilities, even if I should be d.a.m.ned for it. Because here you are, alive and safe, and that is all I care about."

She cupped his face. "You could never be d.a.m.ned, Gabriel, not if there is any justice in this world or the next, and if you were, then I would go there with you and we would have a grand old time. Roasting chestnuts on the flames. As long as we were together, how bad could it be?"

He smiled at her for a long moment, his gaze moving wistfully over her face.

"What?" she murmured.

"You're adorable." He caressed her cheek, his smile fading. His touch trailed along her jaw. "All I know is that I won't deny what I am anymore. Or how I feel about you."

b.u.t.terflies danced in her belly at his words.

"You," he went on, "now, you are a cause, my beautiful friend, that I can fight for without the slightest compunction."

"Am I a cause?"

"You are," he whispered. "You know you are, one that any man would be eager to follow. So beautiful and smart. So brave, with your willingness to stand up to these b.a.s.t.a.r.ds and to fight for something larger than yourself. You inspire me," he said haltingly. "I want to help you however I can. Not merely because the mission is just, but because of how much the whole thing means to you...and how much you mean to me."

His words melted her. "I thought you said a bodyguard can't do his job if there are...emotional entanglements."

"Yes, well, that is one school of thought on the matter."

"There's another?"

"To my mind, there is." He took her hand and kissed it. "When a man cares intensely, that can also be a formidable weapon."

"Is that what I saw tonight?"

He nodded, a steely hardness flickering in his eyes with the recollection of the violence he had wreaked on the enemy. Then he shook his head, lowering his gaze. "G.o.d, I have been trying so hard to keep you at arm's length."

"Why?"

"Because you are a royal princess! You will be a queen-"

"So? I am also a woman."

"Believe me, I know."

"I have yearned to be closer to you."

"And I you. Sophia, I've never felt this way before about anyone-but if an alliance with Denmark is going to be what's best for Kavros-"

"I am what's best for Kavros," she whispered emphatically. "And you're what's best for me-and I'm what's best for you. I know I am." She lifted his chin with her fingertips, forcing him to meet her gaze. She searched his eyes, unable to hold back her heart any longer. "I love you. Oh, Gabriel, I've loved you ever since your first conversation with that silly kitten."

Staring at her intensely, he lifted his hand to caress her face with the lightest touch. He looked overwhelmed by her words, and shook his head. "I will always be yours." He shuddered. "I thought I'd lost you."

"No. You saved me. Just like I knew you would. We belong together, Gabriel. Tell me you know it, too."

"I love you, Sophia. I am so caught up in you I could die for want of you."