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I like how he said we. It made the icy ball in the pit of my stomach start to thaw. I didn't feel as alone as I had earlier.
I wandered into the room. I tossed my bag onto the bed and looked around. The room was unusually clean, as if Trevor hadn't even been inside. The bed was neatly made, there were no shoes or dirty clothes tossed on the floor or draped across the chair in the corner. The only indication that anyone was staying in the room was the army green duffel bag lying on the rug against the far wall. Trevor was even more of an enigma than I had previously thought. I wondered what his deal was, but I was much too tired to ask. Besides, I didn't think he'd offer up the information all that easily.
Yawning again, I went into the adjoining bathroom and took care of the necessities. After, I washed my hands and my face, scrubbing my skin hard. Staring in the mirror, memories of what I'd done to Josh flashed in my mind. I couldn't get the stunned look on his face out of mind--the one that he had while I had tried to suck the life out of him. I rubbed at the mark on my neck where Trevor had injected salt.w.a.ter and wondered what would've happened if he hadn't showed up. Would I have eventually gone back to normal, or would I've stayed that way forever?
s.h.i.+vering, I pushed that from my mind and went back into the bedroom to change into sleeping clothes. Once I'd unzipped my bag though, I remembered that I didn't pack any jammies. All I had to sleep in was a tiny t-s.h.i.+rt and my undies. With Trevor in the next room I didn't feel comfortable like that. What if I forgot where I was, and wandered into the next room with just my hipster red undies barely covering my a.s.s.
I stepped out into the living room. Trevor had resumed playing the video game. He looked up at me.
"Um, I need something to sleep in. Do you have a s.h.i.+rt I could borrow?"
For a few moments he just stared at me. His gaze flicked over me from toe to head. I wondered what he was thinking in that look, because I sure couldn't tell. Was he a.s.sessing me wondering if his s.h.i.+rt would fit, or was it something else? I didn't get a sense that he looked at me other than someone who was a nuisance, some girl who he had to baby-sit.
After a few more seconds ticked by, he stood, tossing the game controller onto the chair and walked past me into the bedroom. I trailed behind, nerves suddenly making my stomach ache. He bent down to his duffel bag, unzipped it and came away with a dark blue t-s.h.i.+rt. Standing, he tossed it to me.
"Thanks," I said clutching the s.h.i.+rt in my hand. I didn't know why but I was shaking. It seemed like something had occurred between us but I couldn't name it.
Without a word, he left, shutting the bedroom door behind him.
I quickly shed my jacket, camisole, jeans and socks, and then slipped Trevor's t-s.h.i.+rt over my head. His scent clung to the fabric and I took in a deep breath of it. He smelled like darkness--and everything that came with it, like the shadows that crept across the ground on a cool crisp autumn night.
I clicked on the bedside lamp, then padded to the door to flick the main light switch off. I padded back to the bed, pulled down the covers and slid under the sheets. The fabric was cool on my skin, but soon warmed to my body as I snuggled down under the blankets, tucking it under my chin. I yawned again, and without another thought, I switched off the lamp, closed my eyes and fell instantly asleep.
Considering what I'd been through in the past week, it didn't surprise me that my dreams were disturbed.
I was in a hospital, walking down a long, narrow, deserted hallway. The walls were glaringly white as was the floor and the ceiling. I had an urge to s.h.i.+eld my eyes as I walked. I looked into every room I pa.s.sed, but every bed was empty. Barren, devoid of anything resembling life. I came to the end of the hall and looked into the last room.
This bed wasn't empty.
Cautiously, I entered the room and approached the bed. My stomach cramped. My throat ran dry. I knew who was going to be lying on the hard clinical mattress.
Eyes closed, face gaunt and pale, Josh lay strapped to the bed, an IV stuck into the back of his hand. There was little resemblance to the golden boy of Boise High in the immobile concave form. He looked like he'd aged seventy years and his bones could no longer sustain any muscularity. He was a skeleton of his former self.
And I'd done that to him. It was my fault.
I stood over him, watching him breath in and out with the help of an oxygen tube. I wondered when he'd wake up and if he'd still be Josh, still have his memories. Or if he'd forget everything, including himself. I wasn't sure what I wished for most. Either way the life I knew was over.
A single tear rolled down my cheek, off my chin and landed on Josh's thin blue lips.
His eyes snapped open.
Stumbling back, I nearly knocked over the IV pole.
His hand lifted from his side, reaching for me. I grabbed it and squeezed, frantic for him to wake up. "Josh? Josh? Can you hear me?"
He opened his mouth to respond. It gaped wide but all that came out was deafening garbled static...
Clamping my hand to my ears, I stumbled backwards and screamed.
Breath catching, I bolted straight up in bed. My heart hammered against the inside of my rib cage. Pain exploded from my chest. I rubbed at the spot between my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, concern filling me that the organ might explode out of my chest.
I rubbed and rubbed until my skin was red and sore. But at least I could breathe a little. I no longer had to suck in huge mouthfuls of air to get the much needed oxygen.
Lying back on the pillow, I blinked back tears and the sweat that was dripping into my eyes. Running my hands down my torso, I realized that my t-s.h.i.+rt was soaked as were the sheets covering me. I didn't know how long I'd been asleep-it hadn't seemed that long-but it must've been lengthy enough for me to sweat right though my clothes and covers.
I glanced at the big curtained bay window and saw that it was still full dark. I couldn't have been asleep any longer than a couple of hours. I was still tired, but I didn't think I could go back to sleep. Not now. Not with the remnants of my dream still lingering deep within my mind, and the hiss of static still persistent in my ears.
Rolling out of bed, I stood and shuffled to the door. I'd just peek out and see what Trevor was doing. Maybe he was still awake and we could play some more video games because I needed something to take my mind off things. I'd go crazy if I had to sit in the room, in the dark, with my thoughts. I didn't even have my DS. I'd forgotten to pack it.
Gripping the doork.n.o.b, I slowly turned it and pulled open the door. I peered out into the living room and that's when all the warmth in my body dissipated, leaking out from the bottom of my feet, leaving me icy cold and shaking uncontrollably.
Chapter 16.
"Well, well, Trevor, I think you've been holding out on me. I didn't know you were keeping some for yourself."
Thane's voice jabbed at my senses. The sensation made my stomach clench then roll over like a tidal wave.
That's when I leaned over and puked on the rug.
Thane laughed. "I think you plied her with too much alcohol."
Trevor rushed to my side, and maneuvered me toward the chair where I could sit with my head between my legs. I took in one greedy gulp of air after another trying to calm my queasy stomach, but it proved difficult sitting close to the guy that ruined my life.
I kept my head down not wanting to look at him again, but a magnetic pull urged me to raise my head, to take in his magnificence. Before I could though, Trevor was pus.h.i.+ng on the back of my head to keep it down and placed a cold wet washcloth on my neck. Relief was instant and I sighed.
He maneuvered a gla.s.s of fizzing water into my quivering hands.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Alka Seltzer."
I took a sip and cringed at the taste. Lemony bubbles fizzled on my tongue. It nearly made me gag all over again.
"Where did you pick this one up? I don't remember her at the club."
My head came up with a snap. "What did you say?"
One eyebrow lifted and he smiled at me. He looked amused. I couldn't believe the b.a.s.t.a.r.d didn't remember who I was. He'd only tried to kill me a couple weeks ago.
"Oh, she has some fire. Maybe when you're done with her, I can have her for a bit."
Fury propelled me to my feet and I dropped the gla.s.s of alka seltzer on the ground. Trevor was at my side in an instant, grabbing my arm and keeping me in place. "Nah, you don't want her. She's not as exciting as she looks."
"a.s.shole." I struggled against the grip he had on me, but he held me firm. I glared up at him, but he didn't bother to meet my gaze. He was watching Thane.
"She looks exciting to me." That smile again, the slow s.e.xy lift of lips. Except this time it didn't send quivers down my thighs. Instead, it made me want to cross the room and poke my thumbs into his eyes.
Trevor shook my arm a little, getting my attention. "Go into the bedroom. I'll be there in a minute."
I ignored him and continued to glare at Thane, my back on edge, grinding my teeth together. He shook me again, squeezing my upper arm. I s.h.i.+fted my gaze to him. He was staring at me with dark intense eyes. Finally, I understood his intent. He wanted me out of the room. Away from Thane.
I nodded and pulled out of his grip, to go back into the bedroom.
Thane s.h.i.+fted on the sofa; setting down the cold piece of pizza he'd been munching on, and frowned. "Hey girl, wait a minute. Do I know you? You look sort of familiar."
I opened my mouth to tell him that yes, he knew me, that he was the b.a.s.t.a.r.d that stole my life from me.
But Trevor answered for me, with a not so gentle nudge toward the bedroom. "You don't know her, Thane. She's just another groupie. They all look the same." He pushed me again. "I told you to go to the bedroom and wait for me. So do it."
Thane laughed again. "Wow, man, I didn't realize how much of a domineering p.r.i.c.k you were. No wonder Devon made you. She likes that in the men she takes."
An icy s.h.i.+ver rushed down my back as I looked from Trevor to Thane and back again. Devon made Trevor into a cambion? It surprised me, but I guess it shouldn't have, as Devon was the only chick in the band. I didn't take Trevor for a guy that swung both ways.
Trevor motioned to me to keep going, pleading me to leave with his eyes. I heeded him and kept on walking toward the bedroom. But before I could cross the threshold, I heard something that made my blood run cold.
"Too bad about your sister, though, man. I think she would've been a lot like you, strong and aggressive, able to live this life. Actually, I bet she would've reveled in it."
From the side of my eye I could see Trevor flinch. His hands curled into hard tight fists. Thane either didn't notice or didn't care.
"I liked her. She was a cool chick," Thane said then stood, brus.h.i.+ng the pizza crust crumbs from his black jeans. He picked up the bottle of beer sitting in front of him on the coffee table and took a sip. "Well, thanks for the pizza and beer. I'll let you get back to it." He winked.
I stood in the bedroom doorway and watched, transfixed, as Thane left the hotel room. Then my gaze s.h.i.+fted to Trevor. He had yet to move. He still stood in the middle of the room his hands fisted at his sides. His knuckles were turning white.
My heart ached from him.
"Did Thane-,"
"Don't." Like a cold front, he moved about the room, trailing a bitter wind in his wake. He paced back and forth, clenching and unclenching his hands repeatedly.
I wanted to go to him, to soothe him somehow, but I knew he'd snap at me. "Is that why you want to kill them so bad?"
He stopped in his tracks and glared at me. I shuddered from the menacing look he gave me. Like he could rip out my throat without breaking a sweat. "I don't want to talk about it."
"d.a.m.n it, Trevor. You need to tell me. You want my help, right? Well, I need to know what the h.e.l.l's really going on. I left my whole life behind for you."
He frowned. "What?"
I realized my blunder, and shook my head, stuttering to keep from being even more embarra.s.sed than I already was. "I mean, not for you, but, you know because of you. Because you said I should," I finished in a rush.
Instead of responding, he stalked toward the sofa, and sat down. He hung his head and ran his hands back and forth through his hair. He looked like a caged animal desperate to be free.
Trevor had that kind of crazed wild look in his eyes. The one that said sanity had taken a permanent leave of absence.
Cautious but determined to get some answers, I moved back into the living room and sat on the chair that he had previously occupied. Self-conscious, I pulled down the t-s.h.i.+rt so it covered my knees.
His head came up to look at me. I kept his gaze wanting him to know that I wasn't going to back down but also that I cared about his pain. I hated to see that kind of raw emotion in anyone. It crushed my soul just to know it existed.
"I need to know, Trevor. I'm tired of maneuvering in the dark. I've been doing it for over a week now, and I don't think I can take it anymore."
Sighing, he wiped his hand once more through his hair then leaned back against the sofa cus.h.i.+ons. His leg bounced up and down as he stared down at his hands in his lap.
"Reagan was my twin sister."
I could feel the tears burning in the back of my eyes and throat as he spoke. I could hear the pain rippling through his voice. A pain I hoped to never experience.
"She was cool for a sister. Did lots of guy stuff. We hung out quite a bit, shared the same style, taste in music, even friends." He paused, licked his lips, and then continued. "Over two years ago, we went to a gig together of some band we'd heard a bit about. A friend of ours was hooked on them. They were called Razorwire then."
"Wait minute. I remember Razorwire." I blinked back the shock I was feeling. "Didn't they die in a plane crash like almost two years ago?"
Trevor shook his head. "That's how they've survived so long without drawing a lot of attention to themselves. Faking deaths, changing ident.i.ties."
"But the guys from Malice don't even look like the members of Razorwire. And if I remember correctly they had a female lead singer not a guy."
"They're like chameleons. Able to change and adapt to any situation. They can s.h.i.+ft their shapes to suit any purpose."
I s.h.i.+vered. That creeped me out big time. I wondered if they could s.h.i.+ft genders. That would be just plain freaky and not something I wanted to really dwell on at the moment.
"Okay, so what happened?"
"We got backstage pa.s.ses and went back to party with the band. Why not right? I mean rock band parties are legendary. I wanted to experience that. Reagan didn't want to go. But I convinced her it would be the s.h.i.+t, you know. We drank, got high and partied hard, just like we were supposed to, but what I got, what we both got, was something out of a nightmare."
I nodded knowing perfectly well what he was talking about. It was a nightmare that would never end.
"Devon was smoking hot, you know. Of course she was going by the name Violet at the time and she looked a lot different than she does now. She had really big-,"
I put my hand up. "Yeah, I get it."
"I wanted her big time. And I had her. Just not in the way I was hoping for. I woke up the next day, hung over, sore as h.e.l.l, and like this." He held out his arms to the sides.
"What about your sister?"
"She hooked up with Thane. He was Perry, the drummer then, but he still had that allure he possesses now. Makes it hard to resist."
"I know."
"Right." He nodded, then rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand. "I remember waking up the next day alone in the hotel room we'd gone to. I immediately grabbed my cell phone and called Reagan. But she didn't answer. I went out of the room, walked down the hall and came upon another room, the door open. I peered inside and saw Thane, Devon and the rest of them standing over the bed, arguing about something. Curious, I walked in."