Just The Way You Are Part 3

"That's one reason."

"Don't you want to meet your niece?" He'd always found Tessa's lack of interest in Megan irritating. It wasn't as if Megan had ever done anything to hurt Tessa.

Tessa looked surprised. "Do you think Megan wants to meet me? I'm sure she can't have heard much good about me in your house."

"Alli hasn't talked much about you at all."

"Of course she hasn't. What was I thinking?"

"But you are family, Tessa, whether you want to be or not."

"Not anymore, Sam."

"You and Alli have the same blood running through your veins. I consider that family."

"I'm sure Alli wouldn't agree with you."

"Probably not. But then she doesn't agree with me about most things these days."

"I thought you'd stick by her forever." Tessa clapped a hand to her mouth. "Forget I said that."

"Alli doesn't want me to stick by her."

"I can't imagine that."

"No need to imagine. It's simple fact." He turned toward his house, not sure she'd follow, not sure it wouldn't be better if she didn't. He opened the kitchen door and found Megan sitting at the table eating Cheerios soaked in milk. She looked up, her mouth full of cereal, her hair tangled from sleep. "Hi, Daddy. Where were you?"

"Next door."

"Did Grams come home?"

"No." He hated the sad look that crossed her face. "But she will soon. You better eat so I can get you to school on time."

Megan looked past him, her eyes widening. Sam looked from his daughter to Tessa and wasn't sure who was more surprised. He'd shown Megan pictures of Tessa, but he'd never fully explained why Tessa wasn't part of their lives.

"You're Aunt Tessa," Megan said in delight. "The one who was the fairy princess in the school play."

Tessa looked taken aback. "I, uh, yes, that was me."

"I'm going to be a princess next Halloween," Megan continued. "Mommy thinks I should be a lion, or a Gypsy, but I think a fairy princess would be better. Because they're so pretty. You're beautiful," she added shyly.

To Sam's amazement, a flush of red swept across Tessa's face. How many people must have told her she was beautiful, with long blond hair sweeping past her shoulders, eyes the color of the deep blue sea, and a mouth that could pout or kiss or laugh with the best of them.

Looking at her now, in the light of the kitchen, he was struck again by the sheer beauty of her. And what he liked even better was that she could still blush.

"Thank you," Tessa said slowly. "You're beautiful, too."

"Do you want some Cheerios?" Megan asked.

"No, thanks." Tessa took a step back toward the door. "Maybe I should wait at Grams's house until you're ready to go to the hospital, Sam."

"Don't leave," Megan protested. "You just got here. I have so many questions. No one ever seems to know where you are. Daddy says you're a model. And Grams showed me your picture on the cover of a magazine. I want to be a model when I grow up." Megan sent Sam a look that dared him to deny her that dream. "So you have to stay."

Tessa glanced at Sam. "Do you think it's all right for me to be here?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"You know why."

He did. But despite Alli's wish for the contrary, Tessa and Megan were family. Sometimes family ended up in the same room. And sometimes he liked to live a little dangerously.

Alli stared down at her grandmother's face. There was no tightness to her skin, no pucker to her lips, no humor, no joy, no pain, no anger. Phoebe MacGuire's face was as smooth as the face of a porcelain doll, the lines of age having vanished overnight. She looked...

Alli was afraid to let the words out, terrified that saying something out loud or even to herself would make it come true. She desperately wanted to see something on her grandmother's face, some emotion that would show she was still alive, still caring about them, still fighting to go on. But aside from the slight rise and fall of her grandmother's chest, there was no movement. And Phoebe was pale, her skin almost as white as her hair, translucent against the white sheet that covered her.

Alli wished for Phoebe to open her eyes, so the light would s.h.i.+ne out of them like the lighthouse beacon on the rocky beach calling the sailors home, showing them the way to go, guiding them to safety. She wanted to feel safe again. She wanted all of them to be safe.

"Wake up, Grams," Alli said softly, stroking her grandmother's hand. Alli could feel the pulse beating in her grandmother's thin wrist, but she could also feel the fragility of her bones, and it frightened her.

Had her grandmother always been this thin or had she lost weight? And if Phoebe had lost weight, why hadn't Alli noticed? She felt an immediate surge of guilt at the thought that she hadn't been paying enough attention, so caught up in her own problems was she. Was this her fault? Could she have done something differently?

"You have to be all right," Alli said more strongly. "I don't want you to die."

"I can't die yet, honey. I haven't finished counting the stars. And don't you know, my darling girl, that you will never be alone, because there is always love, and love lives forever."

Alli could hear the familiar words as clearly as if her grandmother had said them out loud. But in truth the words had come from memories of those dark nights when the fears took hold and the only one who could soothe them away was her grandmother.

"You have to wake up. You have to say the words, Grams. Otherwise, I can't believe them. Please," Alli begged.

The hospital room door opened and William Beckett walked into the room. He was an imposing man, tall, with a strong square face, sharp dark brown eyes, and thick brows that matched the pepper-gray color of his hair. He wore an expression that told everyone he usually got what he wanted. And he wanted Phoebe.

Losing her more than fifty years ago to John MacGuire, a man picked out for Phoebe by her parents, William had returned from Chicago after John's death, determined to win Phoebe back. He'd become a frequent visitor to Tucker's Landing, spending weeks at a time in a rented cottage, all the while wooing Phoebe. And while Phoebe seemed to care deeply for William, she had yet to commit to any sort of future with him.

Alli had no idea what their real relations.h.i.+p was, but anyone could see that William, despite his austere demeanor, was in agony. He had dark shadows under his eyes and wrinkles in his usually crisp tan slacks.

"You're back?" he said gruffly. "I thought you might sleep in this morning."

"I couldn't sleep at all. How about you?"

"There will be time to sleep later."

Alli looked over at her grandmother, then back at William. "Do you think..."

"I hope," he answered quickly. "And I pray."

It wasn't what she wanted to hear. "The doctors?"

"Haven't come in yet this morning."

"I guess I'll wait, then."

"What about work?"

"I can't leave."

"Your grandmother owns a stake in that shop of yours, doesn't she?"

William knew that the Alley Cat, a gift shop specializing in hometown treasures, was more than a business for Alli, it was a lifeline her grandmother had thrown her last year when she'd started to flounder in a sea of self-doubt. And it had been the lifeline that kept her going through her separation from Sam. It wasn't just a gift shop, it was her life, her future, her daughter's future. But Grams was more important.

"You can't do anything for your grandmother, Allison," William said. "Except to continue on with your life."

"I wish I could do something, though."

"We all do. But it will be as it was meant to be."

"I can't accept that. I was never very good at accepting things I didn't like."

For a moment there was a glint of a smile in his eyes. "So I've noticed. I actually understand the inability to accept something that seems completely wrong." He glanced over at Phoebe and smiled. "Your grandmother would tell you I've been bullheaded for longer than you've been alive. Unfortunately, it still hasn't gotten me what I want." His voice drifted away and he moved toward the bed, sitting down in the chair next to Phoebe. He picked up her hand and squeezed it. "But I'm not done trying," he said softly. "So you better wake up, Phoebe, if for no other reason than to tell me to go away."

"She wouldn't do that," Alli said, deeply touched by the despair in his voice.

"She hasn't yet, but I'm not sure she won't." He shook his head. "But there will be time for that later. Now we have to concentrate on getting your grandmother well. Giving her whatever she needs." He focused his piercing dark eyes on her face. "You will do that, won't you?"

"Yes."

"Even if that means accepting your sister's presence here at the hospital?"

Alli stiffened. "I would do anything to make Grams feel better, but Tessa turned her back on Grams years ago."

"That isn't true and you know it. They've seen each other many times over the years."

"On exotic vacations that only Tessa could afford," Alli acknowledged bitterly. It was just one more area in which she couldn't compete with her older sister. "But where was Tessa when Grams sprained her ankle last year? And where was Tessa when Grams turned seventy or during any of the last nine Christmas holidays? I'm actually surprised she's coming now. Tessa swore she'd never set foot in Tucker's Landing again."

"Never is a long time. I expect Tessa will do what she needs to do, same as you will."

Alli just wished whatever Tessa needed to do could be done in another country, miles away from here, from her, from Sam. How could she deal with her sister on top of everything else?

Alli paced restlessly around the cramped hospital room, feeling angry and scared, more scared than she'd ever been in her life. "I can't lose Grams." She paused, looking into William's compa.s.sionate eyes. "I have to do something. I'm going to call her doctor and tell him to get over here. She needs ... she needs something," Alli finished, feeling helpless despite her brave words.

"Dr. Price was here until late last night," William reminded her. "He's a good man and he cares about your grandmother. His credentials are excellent. I wouldn't entrust your grandmother to just anyone. But if Dr. Price doesn't give us the answers we require, I have no qualms about finding another specialist, even if it means flying someone in from across the country."

Alli felt better knowing that William was prepared to do anything to save her grandmother. She just hoped there was something that could be done. Tears pushed at Alli's eyes as she stared down at her grandmother's beautiful but cold face. "I feel like she's already gone. I can't reach her. I can't make her wake up. And I want her to wake up."

"She's a strong woman, your grandmother," William said, his eyes fixed on Phoebe's face. "She does what she has to do without complaining. And she doesn't give up. You must have gotten that from her." He paused. "At least that's what she always says."

"Grams said I was like her?" Alli asked in amazement. "She never told me that. Everyone says Grams looked just like Tessa when she was young."

William stood up and came around the bed. He puts a hand on Alli's shoulder. "Phoebe was blond and beautiful when she was young, same as Tessa. But she had fire in her heart, too, same as you."

Alli smiled back at him. "Thank you."

"Now, why don't you go home or go to work? I'll call you when Phoebe wakes up or if the doctor has any news."

Alli hesitated. "If you're sure. I can pick up Megan and take her to school, then come back."

"I'm sure. And Alli ... whatever you may think, I know your grandmother loves both you and Tessa. That's why I called your sister. Because Phoebe needs all the support she can get."

"I know. And I can handle seeing Tessa again," Alli said, wis.h.i.+ng she felt as confident as she sounded.

Chapter 4.

*Tessa. Alli felt the word reverberate through her brain as she stopped and stared at the scene in her husband's living room.

It was Tessa, all right. Tessa of the long, glorious blond hair and the bombsh.e.l.l body and the seductive blue eyes. Her sister hadn't changed at all. If anything, she was more beautiful than ever. And Alli was nowhere near ready to see her.

Alli glanced at Sam. His jaw was set in granite, his eyes dark and unreadable. She wondered what had gone on between them before she'd arrived. Had they talked? Had they run into each other's arms like long-lost lovers? An old intense jealousy grabbed hold of her heart and squeezed.

"Mommy?" Megan asked in confusion.

The one word pulled her together like nothing else could. "Megan," Alli said quickly, trying to catch her breath. She'd known this moment was coming. She'd antic.i.p.ated Tessa's arrival. But not like this. She'd thought to meet Tessa at the hospital, in cold, clinical surroundings, not here in the Tuckers' old house, and most definitely not with Megan in attendance, listening to every word.

Seeing the three of them together tore at Alli's heart. They looked like a family-the mother, the father, the child. It struck her that this was the way it would have been, maybe should have been.

Alli wondered if Sam was thinking the same thing, the way he was looking at Tessa, the way Tessa was standing with Megan's brush in her hand. Megan's brush? Tessa was doing Megan's hair. Oh, G.o.d!

Alli struggled to hang on. She didn't know how she felt-angry, sad, ashamed, embarra.s.sed, left out? The emotions flew through her so fast she couldn't keep track of them. She knew she had to say something, but she was almost afraid to open her mouth, completely uncertain of what words would come out.

"Aunt Tessa is making a French braid," Megan said uncertainly, picking up on the tension in the room.

"Maybe your mother should do it," Tessa said.

"Mommy doesn't know how to do it very well." Megan sent her mother an apologetic glance.

Alli's first inclination was to grab the brush out of Tessa's hand and take Megan as far away from her sister as she possibly could. Because Megan was hers! And Alli couldn't take a chance on Tessa's stealing Megan's affection the way she'd taken everyone else's.

Despite the childish emotions swamping her, there was a part of Alli that remembered she was an adult, a mother, and she couldn't lose control with Megan in the room.

"Alli, can I talk to you for a minute-in the kitchen?" Sam asked.

She looked at him in confusion and saw something in his eyes she hadn't expected-understanding. He knew she was about to blow, and he was offering her a way out. For Megan's sake, she had to take it. Mumbling something, she headed to the kitchen. She sat down at the table and desperately counted to ten. "When did she arrive?" Alli asked finally.