A Darkness In My Soul Part 2

GO ON, GO ON!.

And he looked up out of swaddling clothes when he esped an understanding and* and*

IF YOU HESITATE, YOU WILL BE LOST.

I don't remember it after that.

YOU DO.

No!

Yes. YESYESYES. The machine touched part of my mind with blue fingers. Dazzling clouds of neon gas exploded inside my head. I CAN MAKE THE MEMORY

EVEN SHARPER.

No! I'll tell it.

TELL.

And he looked up out of swaddling clothes when he esped an understanding, and his first words were* were

FINISH IT!.

His first words were: "My G.o.d, my G.o.d, I'm not human!"

FINE. NOW RELAX AND LISTEN. My electronic David sorted through the miasma of our conversation and interpreted my dreams for me. There wasn't any simple harp music to accompany his readings, though. YOU

KNOW THAT THE "HE" IS REALLY YOU. YOU.

ARE SIMEON KELLY. THE HE OF YOUR ILLUSION IS ALSO SIMEON KELLY. YOUR PROBLEM IS.

THIS: YOU ARE OF THE ARTIFICIAL WOMB. YOU.

WERE CONDITIONED FROM CONCEPTION TO.

HAVE HUMAN MORES AND VALUES. BUT YOU.

CANNOT HOLD YOUR MANNER OF CREATION UP.

TO THE LIGHT ALONGSIDE YOUR MORES AND.

THEN MANAGE TO ACCEPT BOTH.

YOU ARE HUMAN. BUT YOUR MORES TEACH.

YOU TO FEEL THAT YOU ARE STRANGELY.

LACKING IN HUMAN QUALITIES.

Thank you. I am cured now and I must leave.

NO. The thunderstorms were firm in their denial.

THIS IS THE THIRTY-THIRD TIME YOU HAVE HAD THIS SAME ILLUSION-NIGHTMARE. YOU ARE NOT HEALED. AND THIS TIME I FEEL MORE BELOW THE SURFACE OF THE DREAM, AN ARRAY OF FRAGMENTED TERRORS WHICH SHOULD NOT BE THERE. TELL ME.

There is no more.

TELL ME. The bonds on the chair were tight around nay arms and legs. The headrest seemed to suck out the contents of my head.

Nothing.

A WOMAN. THERE IS A FEMININE SPECTER IN.

THOSE TERRORS. WHO IS SHE? SIMEON, WHO IS.

SHE?.

An author I have read.

AND MET. TELL ME MORE.

Blonde. Green eyes. Full lips likeSOMETHING MORE.

Full lips.

NO. SOMETHING ELSE.

Let me the h.e.l.l alone!

TELL ME. It was the voice of a king. The kind who will not have your head lopped off, but who will decapitate you with words and shame.

b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Big b.r.e.a.s.t.s that I- That II KNOW YOUR PROBLEM. I CAN SEE, FROM

YOUR CONDITION, THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF.

IN LOVE WITH HER.

No! That's disgusting!

YES. DENIAL DOES NOTHING TO CHANGE REALITY. REFUSAL TO ACCEPT DOES NOTHING.

MORE THAN MAKE EVENTUAL ACCEPTANCE.

MORE DIFFICULT. YOU LOVE THIS WOMAN. YET.

YOU HAVE THIS COMPLEX WHICH ELUDES ME IN.

ITS ENTIRETY. SIMEON, DO YOU REMEMBER THE.

SIMULATED FLESH b.r.e.a.s.t.s?.

I remember.

THOSE ARTIFICIAL b.r.e.a.s.t.s HAVE COME TO.

SYMBOLIZE YOUR INHUMANITY TO YOU. YOU.

WERE NOT SUCKLED LIKE A MANCHILD, AND.

THE LOSS OF THAT HAS DONE STRANGE THINGS.

TO YOU. YOU ARE AFRAID OF WOMEN, OFNo. I'm not afraid of women. She was just disgusting.

You would have had to see her to understand. All this spoken reasonably, calmly.

NO. YOU WERE NOT DISGUSTED. YOU ARE.

AFRAID, BUT NEVER DISGUSTED. YOU BACK.

AWAY FROM EVERYTHING WHICH YOU DO NOT.

UNDERSTAND IN THIS LIFE. THIS WOMAN IS.

BUT ONE PART OF THAT. YOU BACK AWAY BECAUSE YOU CANNOT SEE WHERE YOUR PLACE.

AND PURPOSE COULD LIE IN IT ALL. YOU SEE.

NO MEANING IN LIFE AND YOU ARE AFRAID TO.

SEARCH FOR ONE, FEARING YOU WILL EVENTUALLY DISCOVER THERE IS NO MEANING.

THAT IS WHY YOU SPEND SO MUCH, LIVE FASTER.

THAN YOU SHOULD.

May I go?

YES. GO AND DREAM NO MORE OF PROTEUS.

MOTHER. YOU WILL DREAM NO MORE. NO.