From Darkness Won Part 53

Not so with Gren. "How dare you say such things! That I would yoke my husband to my side like a mule. Even if you are highborn, and I'm only a-"

"Shh, woman!" Sir Rigil waved. "You will wake the whole camp and call the wolves with your wailing."

Averella met Gren's scowling expression. "Do not let Sir Rigil bore under your skin, Gren. He thinks himself a shrewd elder, though he is only thirty-two years."

Sir Rigil faked a wounded gasp. "Wicked lady! Leave it to you to proclaim my age to all who may hear. If only that were part of what you had forgotten."

"Oh, yes." Averella smiled. "The wolves are taking note of your age, I am certain. The real question, Sir Rigil, is whether or not you like to be yoked."

Sir Rigil raised a finger. "To a cart, never, but if the lady were pretty enough-and sincere, mind you-I would climb Mount Bamah for lava rock, fetch a s...o...b..ll from the roof of Ice Island, and swim around the Shelosh Islands-despite the tanniyn that live there-all because she asked me to."

"To prove your love?" Averella asked, amused.

"Nay. My word is enough to prove my love. I would do these things just to please her."

Averella laughed and rolled onto her stomach. She crossed her arms on the ground and set her chin on them. "I have never seen any woman pretty enough to keep your head turned, Sir Rigil. I do not think this 'perfectly sincere' woman exists in all Er'Rets."

"Oh, she exists, my lady. And I will find her. Minstrels will sing of our love for years to come."

"Mercy. To think that I once wished to marry you."

This silenced Sir Rigil. He stared at Averella, his eyes wide and pondering. The fire crackled, painting shadow and light across his face. "Did you? Now that would have been a happy match. If only I had not lost you to the boy."

"If only you were not my uncle."

"Hmm. That too. Strange, that."

"Achan is not a boy," Gren said.

"Barely," Sir Rigil said. "Do not mistake me, the prince is a fine fellow, smart and brave. And you can trust him, which I feel is the kind of man you need most, my lady. But I've always felt a woman would be wise to marry an older man. For we have lived long enough to figure you women out. Years will pa.s.s before our steadfast young prince will know what to make of you, Lady Averella."

Heat flashed up Averella's spine. "And what of Lady Tara? Is her husband old enough to meet your approval?"

"Unfortunate situation, that. But Carmack will redeem her broken heart one day, for st.u.r.dy though he is, even Old Lord Gershom will one day perish."

Averella's mouth gaped at this statement. "You insinuate that Carmack Demry cares for Tara?"

"Oh, yes. He has loved her ever since he was placed on her guard. He was the only man I know who was disappointed to be promoted to his brother's Fighting Fifteen. For it meant he would no longer see Tara as much."

Averella sighed, stunned by this secret morsel. "So goes yet another tale of thwarted love."

"Always you focus on the dark side of things, my lady. You must focus on the light, for there is much joy to be had in this world. Open your eyes, and you will see it. And in time, all will be well-for all of us."

"You sound as if you truly believe that it will."

"Why shouldn't I? For Arman has given us the end of the story, has he not? Shamayim will be a wonderful home, even if this one remains dark. So fear not, and get some sleep. Tomorrow you shall see your young prince. And when you look into his eyes, just you see if you do not remember your true feelings."

Averella rolled her eyes at Sir Rigil, earning one more deep, hearty laugh from the knight. Then she settled back onto the hard ground. She focused on Gren's thoughts, curious what she was thinking after Sir Rigil's honest words.

Heavy sorrow pierced Averella's heart, bringing forth tears. She closed her eyes and looked through Gren's. She found herself staring at Bran's face, barely visible on the other side of the fire. Flame and shadow flickered over his skin. He was handsome. But Averella knew now for certain that she did not love him as a woman loves a man.

Tears stung her eyes, but they were Gren's. Then came Gren's thoughts.

Cetheria, why did you allow Bran to protect me if nothing was to come of it? If he doesn't love me, what will become of me and my baby?

Gren? Averella said.

Gren gasped and lifted her head, meeting Averella's eyes. Do not do that without warning. It frightens me.

I am sorry. I only wanted to say, take heart that Sir Rigil does not make Bran's decisions.

What he said made sense, though. I can see that Bran is still in love with you. What if he decides I would not be a good secondary match?

Why would you want to be anyone's secondary match? If he does not love you, then he is not the man for you, and you will find another-the right one.

Who else would possibly want me, a widow with child? I have no a.s.sets.

Why not Master Poe?

Harnu?

I think him quite charming. Once she'd gotten to know him better.

You think I should sacrifice a chance at happiness to marry someone practical, like Harnu?

I am only suggesting you consider it.

I will, if you consider Achan.

That is different.

Gren huffed a sigh and lay back down. Why must everyone but you make sacrifices, my lady? Why can everyone be willing to love beyond rank except you? In cases of true love, station shouldn't matter. If it does, then the woman loves something else more than her suitor.

This comment left Averella speechless. For if she loved Achan more than Bran, what did she love more than Achan?

A chorus of howls woke Averella. The chilled air clamped around her body, making her skin feel like that of a plucked bird. She pushed herself up to a sitting position.

The men stood shoulder to shoulder across the cave's entrance. Between the wide stance of Jax's legs, Averella could see a black wolf pacing outside.

She jumped to her feet and crept forward to peek over Sir Eagan's shoulder. Six wolves were outside the cave. Two paced back and forth. The others sat watching.

Averella's stomach boiled with the threat awaiting them. She whispered in her father's ear. "What will we do?"

His head turned a fraction until his eyes met hers. Warmth and a.s.surance pushed aside her fear.

Thank you, Father.

He smiled. That is the first time you called me Father.

Is it really? Ever? Not even before my memory was lost?

The truth shocked you greatly.

Still, it seems I did not conduct myself in a manner befitting a n.o.blewoman these past months. Forgive my coldness.

He took hold of her hand. Of course I forgive, my dear. And I am sure you did your best.

She winced, feeling undeserving of his kind words. Are you? Memories have been coming to me these past days, and I am not convinced.

I am sorry your mother chose to keep the truth from you.

Mother keeps many secrets. Part of being a d.u.c.h.ess, I suppose. Perhaps watching her politics influenced my own.

Sir Eagan c.o.c.ked his head. How do you mean?

From what I can piece together, the lie became so big that to cover it I had to lie again and again, until the truth was so far away it now seems impossible to find it at all, as if it too has gotten lost in the Veil.

He squeezed her hand. It is never impossible, child. As we have been telling you all along, you must simply choose truth.

She sighed. You make it sound so easy.

It is not easy, but it will set you free. That, I can promise.

"We will have to fight them, I fear," Sir Rigil said.

His words brought Averella back to the present.

The wolves.

"Better here, with our backs protected, than on the trail when they can come at us from all sides, separate us," Jax said.

"Still a half day's walk to Noiz," Peripaso said.

"It is a pity we do not have archers among us," Sir Rigil said. "We could pick them off one by one from here."

"d.u.c.h.ess Amal could storm them if she could find us," Sir Eagan said. "But I do not see how she could ever learn our location, especially in the dark."

Averella took a deep breath. "I could do it."

Sir Eagan gripped her shoulders and turned her to face him. "Your mother said you are not strong for storming."

"I am not. That is why you both must help me. I'll let Mother storm through me as we run."

Sir Eagan shook his head. "That will not work, Averella. To storm, you must remain stationary, as must your guard. That would mean you and I remain in the cave."

"Absolutely not," Sir Rigil said.

"Then no one will leave the cave until I have succeeded," Averella said.

"If you are weak afterwards," Jax said, "I will carry you."

"Thank you, Jax." Averella looked back to her father. As the highest ranking soldier, it was his decision to make.

He nodded. "Very well. Contact your mother."

And so Sir Rigil, Bran, and Gren packed up camp while Averella messaged her mother and explained the situation. Averella put her armor back on, and Mother gave instructions.

It will be just like before, dearest, in the forest with the black knights. You must relax and let me be your eyes.

Averella could not imagine relaxing at a time like this. But I don't remember what I did before. And didn't I black out that time? What if that happens again before you can finish?

I need your eyes for only a moment.

Would it be better for you to use Father's eyes?

No. He is stronger than you. Should you pa.s.s to the Veil, he can bring you back. You could not do the same for him.

Sir Rigil, Bran, and Jax stood at the mouth of the cave, swords drawn. Gren and Sir Eagan sat on either side of Averella, each clutching an arm for when she would undoubtedly fall. Noam sat to Sir Eagan's left, positioned to catch him if he fell in an effort to retrieve Averella from the Veil.

Averella's hands trembled.

"Do not fear, Averella." Sir Eagan threaded his fingers with hers and squeezed. "Arman will keep you safe."

"Thank you, Father. I know I have nothing to fear with you guarding me."

Are you ready, dearest?

Yes, Mother.

Relax, then, and let me step through you.

Averella lowered the s.h.i.+elds around her mind. She focused on the largest wolf. It was simply sitting on the ground, watching, tongue lagging from its mouth. Sounds magnified in her ears now: the padding of the pacing wolves, the crackling fire, the clicking from trees, her father's breathing.

She felt nothing physical and had no way of knowing if her mother had begun, until the wolf yelped and collapsed. Something inside told her she should rebuild the walls around her mind, but she forced herself to ignore the impulse, to leave her walls down, her mind unguarded.

One of the pacing wolves tripped and skidded to a stop. The other stopped to sniff at his companion and whimpered. As the third wolf fell, an overwhelming peace filled Averella. At first she thought Sir Eagan had manipulated her emotions, but then her soul left her body as subtly as a flutter in her stomach.

She was floating up through the cave's ceiling, through dark rock that seemed endless, until a glimmer of lights shone in the distance. Noiz, perhaps? It looked closer than ever. She willed herself to float toward the lights, but something snagged her hand. Turning back, she saw Sir Eagan's transparent body floating beside her.

You must not leave us, Averella. We would like to reach Noiz as a group, and you with your body and soul as one.

Averella took one last longing look at the lights of Noiz and allowed her father to pull her back to the cave.

Your mother knows how to storm better than a thundercloud.

Mother. Veil warrior. Averella wanted to speak with her, but it would have to wait. Her weakness was pulling her toward sleep.

When she woke, Jax was carrying her through the forest. Branches snapped under his heavy footsteps. She could see Peripaso and Sir Rigil before them, moving down the trail. Light danced over the trees from Peripaso's torch.