The Walls Of Troy Part 28

"Don't you think I'm aware of that?" I narrowed my eyes. "That's why Troy and I were in Dalton's office in the first f.u.c.king place. Whoever this guy is who's f.u.c.king with Troy is only going to get more dangerous if he thinks Troy is involved with someone. And he thought we were involved with each other before I ever laid a hand on him. That's why I was asking Dalton to a.s.sign someone else to guard Troy. So he wouldn't have a f.u.c.king crosshair on his forehead."

Max tilted his head. "Are you...are you suggesting this is some jealous ex? Or someone who's not taking 'no' for an answer from Troy?"

"I-" I hesitated, then shook my head. "I don't know exactly who it is. Neither does Troy. But this f.u.c.ker doesn't want anyone anywhere near Troy."

"So what are we supposed to do? Throw the kid to the wolves?"

"No. As I suggested to Admiral Dalton, I think Troy needs a female MA as his bodyguard."

"A-what?"

"Troy's gay. If he's wandering around campus with a woman, that's not going to raise any suspicion."

Max wrinkled his nose slightly as he s.h.i.+fted his weight. "You think the guy will stop messing with him, then?"

"Don't know. But Troy's safer with a female than he is with me."

"That's an understatement." Max glared at me. "For the time being, I'll escort him to cla.s.ses myself. In uniform. You'll stay here and man the desk."

I nodded. "Understood."

He stepped closer, jabbing a finger at me again. "And stay the f.u.c.k away from that kid, or I will see to it myself that your a.s.s is hemmed up. There's no way in h.e.l.l I'm losing my anchors or retirement over your idiotic indiscretions."

"Understood," I croaked again.

"Get the f.u.c.k out of here."

I didn't wait to be told twice and left the office. I made it about halfway down the hallway before I stopped and leaned against the wall, rubbing my temples and trying to convince my pulse to come back down and my stomach to stay where it belonged.

So the truth was out. Max and Dalton knew. The ball was rolling to bring in someone more suitable to be Troy's bodyguard.

As the dust settled, my heart sank deeper in my chest.

Now what?

I didn't know. We didn't dare step out of this house together, and somehow I doubted Admiral Dalton was going to be quite so willing to turn a blind eye to anyone going in or out of Troy's bedroom. You're an adult could change to not under my f.u.c.king roof in a hurry under circ.u.mstances like these.

And the truth of the matter was, Troy didn't have many people in his life. No siblings. A mother who was distant at best. The last thing he needed was to strain his relations.h.i.+p with his dad. Just like I didn't want to be the reason his ex went bats.h.i.+t and hurt him, I also didn't want to be the reason things were frosty between father and son.

"That was...fun."

Troy's voice startled me, and I looked up to see him coming down the stairs, Talos in tow as always.

"Yeah. Fun." I leaned against the bannister. "How'd things go with your dad?"

Troy grimaced.

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm an adult, so it's not like he can tell me who I can and can't f.u.c.k. But with everything he's been doing to provide security..."

"Things going to be weird between you and him?"

He shrugged and came the rest of the way down the steps, stopping on the last one so he was just above eye level. "If things get weird, then they get weird."

"I guess they do." I s.h.i.+fted my weight. "So what do we do now?"

Troy shook his head. "No f.u.c.king clue. But I guess we don't really have to keep this a secret from my dad anymore."

I winced. "Well, no..."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not all that worried about your dad or Fowler knowing what's going on. It's..." I sighed. "It's Ben."

Troy flinched.

"This psycho is your ex. He's jealous. He doesn't want anyone getting what he thinks is his." I ran my hand through my short hair. "Which means every time he sees us together-"

"What? Do you want to give him what he wants?"

"No. But being this close to you makes me a danger to you. I'm...I can't protect you when I'm also drawing danger right to your front door. Right...right to you."

"So you think we should stop seeing each other?" His tone was defensive, but his eyes were wide and scared as he stepped closer. "Iskander, I don't want to stop seeing you."

"I don't either, but-"

"G.o.ddammit," he snarled, suddenly angry, and turned away. "He's controlled every aspect of my life ever since I was stupid enough to start seeing him in the first f.u.c.king place." He faced me again, anger and fear vying for dominance in his eyes. "I don't want him to have this too."

"I don't either. But I won't put you in danger. The thing is, even if we're out there as just friends, and especially if I'm not your bodyguard anymore, this...this thing is tough to hide. People can... I mean, you can kind of see it sometimes, you know? When two people are a couple?"

"No one ever caught on to me and Ben."

"But he's apparently caught on to us. I don't see how we can do this without setting him off again."

He held my gaze for a long moment. "Are you...are you telling me we can't see each other at all?"

I rubbed the back of my neck and kept my gaze down. "I don't know what choice we have."

"But..." He stepped closer. "Iskander..."

"I don't want to." I met his eyes. "But I don't know what else to do to make sure you're safe. As long as Ben is out there, then I'm putting you at risk just by being seen with you."

"G.o.ddammit. f.u.c.k." He raked a hand through his hair. "And there isn't a d.a.m.ned thing I can do about him either."

"I know," I whispered, the words sounding completely useless. "I'm sorry, Troy. I don't know what else we can do."

He looked at me again, and whoa, the anger was back in full force. "Yeah, I guess you don't want to risk your shot at a good recommendation from my dad."

I blinked. "Are you kidding me?"

"Don't f.u.c.king blow smoke up my a.s.s. We both know I'm safer with you than with anyone else. The only thing that's in danger with you around is your G.o.dd.a.m.ned career."

I drew back. "What? You seriously believe this is about my career?"

Troy folded his arms across his chest. "Why shouldn't I believe that?"

"My G.o.d. I...I shouldn't even have to spell it out that I care about you."

"But you're leaving."

"Because me being around you puts you in more danger than-"

"I'm in danger either f.u.c.king way," he snapped. "The only thing in more danger is your career."

I blinked again. "Do you even hear yourself? I've kept my mouth shut about your ex. I've put my career on the line to convince your father to get you a better bodyguard. Literally, the only thing I've done that hasn't been about protecting you has been getting involved with you. I knew from the start we were playing with fire, but I did it anyway, and it's entirely possible you're in more danger because of that."

"And if my ex were out of the picture, then what?"

"Then..." I exhaled and dropped my gaze. "Then I'd probably still say we shouldn't see each other. I'm not the kind of guy you need, Troy."

"You mean I'm not the kind of guy who's good for your f.u.c.king career."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. This wasn't Troy talking. This was doors slamming shut and walls going up, defenses taking over to keep the pain at bay. I hoped, anyway.

But it didn't make a difference. The fact was, we couldn't stay together. Not as long as there was someone out there willing to f.u.c.k with him for being with me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Sure you are."

"Don't, Troy." I met his eyes, wondering if he was on the verge of las.h.i.+ng out or breaking down. "You know this isn't easy. And it's not what I want. I know it hurts, but don't you dare try to make this about my career."

"Whatever." He locked eyes with me, and he was back to the cold, disinterested punk he'd been the night I'd met him. All the affectionate warmth from earlier and even some of the rage was gone. "I'm a.s.suming you still want lecture notes from our cla.s.ses so you can get credit."

"I..." f.u.c.k. I hadn't even thought that far ahead.

"I'll drop them in the security office when I get home from cla.s.s."

With that, he turned on his heel and headed up the stairs. I didn't try to stop him. There was no point. As much as it sucked, this was what needed to happen for the sake of his safety and both of our sanity. He'd find someone eventually. So would I. We'd both move on and leave our badly judged fling behind.

But G.o.dd.a.m.n, it hurt to watch him go.

Chapter Eighteen.

I couldn't get Troy out of my mind.

It had been a solid week since we'd split up. Max had put me behind the desk in the security office, and he'd taken over my position as Troy's bodyguard. We still hadn't sorted things out with the professors to decide if I'd get or lose credit on the cla.s.ses, but since I wasn't in any state of mind to study anyway, it was a moot point for the time being. I was lucky the admin job was relatively easy and didn't require much thought, or I'd have been f.u.c.ked. Plus, the guilt just kept piling on. Every time Max or Dalton came by the office, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I was just lucky the admiral hadn't decided to hem me up. Yet.

I was sure that was coming too. For now, all I knew was I couldn't concentrate on anything that wasn't Troy.

Thank G.o.d it was the weekend now, so maybe I could spend a little time clearing my d.a.m.ned head, but I wasn't all that optimistic about succeeding.

This was insane. I shouldn't have been hung up on him like this, but G.o.ddammit, I was. We hadn't known each other that long, but I already couldn't tell the difference between my need to protect the man I'd been a.s.signed to guard, and my need to protect the one I was quickly falling for. Being this far away from him was better for his safety, but it was killing me. And it shouldn't have been. Because I barely knew him.

Except I knew the deep, dark things he didn't want anyone else to know. He'd confessed to me about Ben. He'd let me see behind the veil. h.e.l.l, I'd told him about my ex-wife and the cheating ex-boyfriend who'd threatened to out me, and it had taken me ages to open up to my last boyfriend about either of them.

This was definitely the best thing, us being apart like this, because we'd gotten in way too deep, way too fast. It was a recipe for disaster even without a stalker in play. And the stalker was probably why we'd jumped in over our heads to begin with. Tense situations made emotions run high. That was why it never surprised me when a new couple emerged from a high-stress combat deployment-it was insanely easy to fall in love with someone when you had a sword of Damocles hanging over your head. Knowing you could lose someone in a heartbeat made it a lot easier, for better or worse, to fall hard and fast for that person.

And I had fallen. He was too young and in too much danger, and we hadn't known each other nearly long enough, but...

But I had.

Sinking onto my couch, I closed my eyes and rubbed the back of my neck with both hands. Just the thought of him made my chest ache. I felt guilty for, well, everything. I was scared to death something was going to happen to him, and if it did, it'd be my f.u.c.king fault, either because I wasn't with him now or because I had been with him and set off his crazy ex. I wanted-needed-to protect him, and it was killing me to know that the only way I could do that was to stay as far away from him as possible.

The buzzer by my door went off and startled the f.u.c.k out of me.

Christ. Now what?

I pushed myself up off the couch, shuffled to the intercom beside the door, and pressed the b.u.t.ton. "Yeah?"

"It's me."

The voice stopped my heart.

"Troy?"

"Yeah. Can we talk?"

I gulped. He shouldn't have been here. This was dangerous. But I couldn't leave him standing out there where he was vulnerable.

"I'll be right down." I grabbed my key off the hook and headed out into the hall. I didn't know how the h.e.l.l this might go down or what exactly he'd come to say, but I didn't like him standing in my apartment parking lot. Not with that crazy jacka.s.s out there somewhere.

My mouth went dry as I opened the door. "This is unexpected."

Troy s.h.i.+fted his weight. "I know. I needed to see you." He glanced over his shoulder, and my heart lurched into motion again. No matter what bulls.h.i.+t we had between us, I was edgy about him being out in the open like that.

I stood aside and gestured for him to come in. "You came here alone?"

"Yeah."