Christmas Every Day Part 52

Nik wrapped his fingers in the corner of his ap.r.o.n. They stung and throbbed, but his mind was elsewhere. He nodded toward the pot. "Just get it out."

Using a pot holder, Antonio caught the top of the ladle and drew it out of the pot. He laid it on the stove, then looked at Nik's hand. "I would put some ice on my hand if I were you ."

"That's not where it hurts." Nik headed toward the hall.

"Then I would marry her," Antonio called after him, "and take care of that pain, too."

Easier said than done, Nik thought.

He stopped in the office doorway. Sara sat with her back to him. He could tell by the set of her shoulders that something was wrong. Did her father need to go back in for more surgery? Had the angioplasty not taken?

"Sara, what's wrong?"

She swung around. She wasn't ready, she thought, her pulse quickening.

She would never be ready to say these words.

And yet, she had to.

Sara forced a smile to her face. "Oh, Nik, just the person

I wanted to see. "

Her voice was strange, Nik thought. Strained. As if she was addressing a stranger she didn't want to talk to. Why?

He sat on the edge of the desk and took her hand. Whatever was wrong, they could face it together. "How's your father? "

Sara flexed her fingers and drew her hand away. "He's fine." She looked up at Nik, reminding herself that all this was for the best. For both of them. No broken hearts to mend down the road, because there wouldn't be any road. "He should be back to work in about six weeks: She smiled, but her heart wasn't in it. " Sooner if he has his way.

"That's good." Why was this sudden feeling of panic clawing at him, making him waltz around her with empty chatter? d.a.m.n it, what was wrong ?

Sara ran her hand over the discs that were neatly boxed in a see-through holder on the desk. "I'vegotten all your records brought up-to-date."

He watched her face, waiting for an opening, waiting for a clue.

"Congratulations." He measured out the word slowly.

Words began coming in a rush. Sara rose to put distance between them.

It felt as if the office was closing in on her. As if her world was closing in on her.

"And I transferred everything to a different program." She twisted her fingers together, hating herself for fidgeting' It make keeping track of the accounting much simpler for you. I've left directions for Jennifer to follow. "

Nik didn't move. "You can explain it to her when she comes in tomorrow."

"I'm afraid that's impossible." She said the words to the file cabinet.

"Why?" His voice drew her back around to face him like a woman under a trance.

Sara forced herself to look at him. She owed him that much. "I won't be here tomorrow."

Chapter 1q.

Silence hung heavily between them, oppressive and sticky, like an endless louisiana summer night.

"The day after, then."

His eyes were angry, accusing. She couldn't make herself look away.

Guilt warred with fear. "No, I won't be here then, either."

"Nik gripped the edge of the desk on either side of him.

Each word felt as if it weighed a ton as she forced them from her mouth. She hadn't expected it to be easy, but this was awful, beyond anything she had imagined.

"I'm leaving first thing in the morning. Today's my last day here."

Nik pressed his lips together. His voice was low, tense, like a cat crouching to spring. Sara braced for a verbal attack.

"I see. Just like that?"

How could she? he thought. She loved him. He knew she loved him. He wasn't the type to delude himself, to imagine things that weren't true just to feed his own ego. She did love him. How could she just turn away and leave?

The accusation in Nik's voice made Sara defensive. She knew she had to push hard if she was going to push him away. "look, Nik, I don't like permanency. I thought that was understood. I like moving around, I like change. Frequent change."

She took a deep breath, but she was going to need more than oxygen to fortify herself, to provide the courage to say what she had to say.

"You knew that this was just temporary" She waved a hand around the room, taking in the computer, the office. Them. "We both agreed to that."

They had agreed on a lot of things, albeit silently, he thought. He searched her face for a clue as to why she was suddenly fleeing, but there was a s.h.i.+eld up, keeping him out.

"That was before things began going so well." He pinned her with a look, daring her to deny it. "Until you came along, I didn't think I could give up control." He allowed just the tips of his fingers to glide along her cheek. He saw the muscle there quiver. "I find that I can. Very easily."

Sara moved aside. She couldn't allow him to touch her again. Her resolve would break if he did. "That's very flattering , but I think it's time for me to get on with my life."

Her words couldn't have hurt more if they'd been tiny sharpened knives.

"I thought that was what you were doing"

Until she had come into his life, he hadn't thought that he would ever fall in love. But he had. Deeply. He was prepared to beg her to stay if he had to. It wasn't his style, but this was about more than pride.

This was about a lifetime. Sara had heaped those words at him for a reason. She was trying to chase him away. He couldn't let her.

Coming up behind her, he placed his hands on her arms. "Sara, I want you to stay."

She closed her eyes and told herself she wasn't going to cry. " " I can' t. "

His voice was hard when he spoke again. "Can't? Or won't?"

She shrugged out of his hold, but couldn't force herself to look at him. Her voice was cool. It was the performance of her life. "The bottom line is the same. I'll be gone."

The door slammed behind her. She hadn't realized that the sound could be so jarring. Or that her decision would cause her such pain.