Unleashing The Power Of Rubber Bands Part 1

Unleas.h.i.+ng the power of rubber bands : lessons in non-linear leaders.h.i.+p.

by Nancy Ortberg.

Foreword.

The world is full of advice, much of it wonderful, about how to be a better person or parent or leader. Sifting through it all and deciding what warrants your time and energy is a nontrivial challenge. Nancy Ortberg makes that challenge easier here because of her unique insights, effortless storytelling ability, and genuine humility and self-deprecation.

Nancy is a person who walks through life with both eyes wide open, taking in everything available to her and searching for meaning and connection. In Unleas.h.i.+ng Unleas.h.i.+ng the Power of Rubber Bands, she provides her readers with thoughtful advice and disarmingly selfless perspective on everything from personal development and empathy to innovation and teamwork. And she does it with a deep sense of the fundamental place G.o.d has in it all. the Power of Rubber Bands, she provides her readers with thoughtful advice and disarmingly selfless perspective on everything from personal development and empathy to innovation and teamwork. And she does it with a deep sense of the fundamental place G.o.d has in it all.

Like Nancy herself, this book will be hard for readers to peg, as it rolls around and touches upon so many topics that are seemingly diverse but inextricably linked. And because it is as inspiring as it is practical, you may find it difficult to decide whether to take it to work, keep it on your nightstand, or tuck it away into a suitcase. Whatever you do, keep it handy for those times when you find yourself with a few spare minutes that just might transform your life.

Patrick Lencioni.

Author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team The Five Dysfunctions of a Team President, The Table Group

Author's Note

Very early in my career I learned that my understanding of people would rival my job competencies in determining my leaders.h.i.+p success. There have been a number of places where I have been fortunate enough to have been given roles in which to learn that.

For ten years I worked as a registered nurse, in such varied fields as medical-surgical, the emergency department, and home health. I was, for approximately nine years, on staff at Willow Creek Community Church, in roles of teaching pastor and leader of a strengths-based ministry as well as the post-modern expression of the church, called Axis.

Finally, the last few years I have been a consulting partner of Patrick Lencioni with my own leaders.h.i.+p consulting firm, Teamworx2, and partners David, Kent, Rick, and Linda.

The common thread in these varied fields has been leaders.h.i.+p . . . and this book is a consolidation of what I have learned, through success and failure, as well as what I deeply believe to be true of great leaders.h.i.+p.

One of my kids always used to read the last chapter in a book first (and probably still does). That's what I would recommend you do with this book: Read "Understatement of the Year," and that should help you decide if what is in the other chapters is what you are looking for.

Introduction.

I love great leaders.h.i.+p. I love it when I'm able to observe it, love it when I'm the recipient of it, love it when I'm able to do it. Great leaders.h.i.+p takes my breath away, and I have seen it in some of the most surprising places.

It is often spotlighted in large corporations, but I have seen it in a rural McDonald's, a library, a veterinary office, and a small church. I've seen it in a waitress, a salesclerk, and a bus driver. I've seen it in an accounting group, a public high school, and a nursing home. I've even seen it at the DMV, but only once.

Great leaders.h.i.+p is occurring in the hands of quiet and unnoticed people who are creating environments where people can bring the best of what they do to what they do best. But you will never see these inspiring leaders on the cover of a magazine or in the six o'clock news.

We greatly underestimate where great leaders.h.i.+p is to be found and what we can learn from it. If we only expect to find it in the hands of those select few in positions of obvious power, we are poorer for having overlooked the beauty and strength that's to be found in unexpected places.

Most leaders want to lead in strong and admirable ways, even if what they lead is never the biggest or the best. And most leaders who do it well find ways to develop strong leaders.h.i.+p at every level in the organization. They know how to unleash the power that is already in the organization and how to fan the flame of that power in productive and transformational ways.

My hope is that in this book you will find a simplicity and practicalitythat inspires hope, and come away with a sense that you you can do leaders.h.i.+pbetter as a result. And by practicality, I don't always mean a clear, step-by-step plan. While that is important, I believe that if plans precede the "why," they nearly always result in less-than-optimal performance. I hope that this book provokes, stimulates, irritates, and ignites you to better leaders.h.i.+p. Great leaders.h.i.+p is much more about creating a culture, and cultures transform people in much more profound ways than systems do. Systems and processes should always support the vision, but they should never can do leaders.h.i.+pbetter as a result. And by practicality, I don't always mean a clear, step-by-step plan. While that is important, I believe that if plans precede the "why," they nearly always result in less-than-optimal performance. I hope that this book provokes, stimulates, irritates, and ignites you to better leaders.h.i.+p. Great leaders.h.i.+p is much more about creating a culture, and cultures transform people in much more profound ways than systems do. Systems and processes should always support the vision, but they should never be be the vision. When you spend time plumbing the depths of "why," you will then be free to formulate the "how," and you will see that there are many great ways to tackle that "how." the vision. When you spend time plumbing the depths of "why," you will then be free to formulate the "how," and you will see that there are many great ways to tackle that "how."

I also want to show how closely leaders.h.i.+p is tied to both character and to G.o.d, because I think the leader ought to be the most transformed person in the organization. A leader works with everyone, sets the tone for an organization, and creates a culture in the office. If you are reading this book and are not a Christ-follower, I guess you could just subst.i.tute "higher power" for G.o.d, but I would invite you at least once or twice to consider how deeply great leaders.h.i.+p is tied to the nature of G.o.d.

Much of what gets done in leaders.h.i.+p has a strikingly non-linear approach. There is no clear-cut, step-by-step equation that guarantees results; it's the convergence of conditions that creates a climate where people and organizations prosper. I'm guessing since you opened this book after reading the t.i.tle, you are not looking for a book that presents a linear approach to leaders.h.i.+p. But just in case that is is what you are looking for, I recommend you put this one down and keep looking. what you are looking for, I recommend you put this one down and keep looking.

I have read many linear books on leaders.h.i.+p, some of which have been enormously helpful. This book is not one of those linear books. Some of my best friends think in that sequential, ordered way, and do great leaders.h.i.+p from that perspective. I have even hired, worked with, and benefited greatly from them.

But that is not how my mind works.

Which brings me to the Post-it note.

The first year I led Axis, I was sitting at my desk one morning before the rest of my staff arrived and the meetings and flurry of activities began. On the corkboard that hung above my desk were pictures of my kids, a copy of our vision statement, a strategy spreadsheet (created by some of the aforementioned friends), and a postcard of Bora-Bora.

I really liked our vision statement, and our strategy was well thought out. I had little doubt that if we continued to pray and execute against the strategy, we would make significant progress toward the vision. Everything in the previous sentence is just what a leader is looking for. But for me, something was missing. Turns out it was just a word, but a word that encompa.s.sed everything.

So I pulled out a Post-it and wrote the word Flourish. Flourish. Then I stuck that Post-it up on my corkboard, where it stayed for the next five years. Perhaps it was my own personal vision statement-or vision word, I guess. But whenever I looked at that word, I knew what to do. Then I stuck that Post-it up on my corkboard, where it stayed for the next five years. Perhaps it was my own personal vision statement-or vision word, I guess. But whenever I looked at that word, I knew what to do.

I guess we all need different things. Some people need a spreadsheet or a detailed plan to know what to do. I needed a word. That word, hung where I could see it every day, went with me in my heart and head and spirit into each meeting, each interaction with people, each conversation I had with myself.

It motivated me to lead well, to build a culture where people and programs and systems could flourish. For me, flourish flourish is a very powerful, visceral, and prompting word. is a very powerful, visceral, and prompting word.

We all have certain conditions under which we flourish.

The coastal hills near our house are lush green right now, bursting with the color of wildflowers. They are so beautiful that driving is dangerous: You can barely take your eyes off of them. The perfectcombination of spring rain and suns.h.i.+ne has created this spectacular sight.

There is no exact equation for these conditions, no spreadsheet thatmonitors and quantifies the correct mixture of rain and sun. People and organizations are no different. Given certain cultural climates, they will grow and accomplish and learn and flourish.

Which leads me to the rubber bands . . .

Rubber Bands.

At its heart, leaders.h.i.+p is about promises, and of all itspromises, development is one of the most significant. Sometimes in our attempts to take this seriously, we put together very c.u.mbersome developmental plans. Perhaps it's better than the popular alternative of completely ignoring the issue, but I wonder if we make it too complicated. is about promises, and of all itspromises, development is one of the most significant. Sometimes in our attempts to take this seriously, we put together very c.u.mbersome developmental plans. Perhaps it's better than the popular alternative of completely ignoring the issue, but I wonder if we make it too complicated.

One day I was in a meeting of senior leaders at Willow Creek, and Greg Hawkins was talking very excitedly. Which, come to think of it, is the only way I have ever heard Greg talk. . . . Anyway, he was talking about this topic of development and he pulled a thick rubber band out of his pocket. He stretched it between his two hands and said, "Very simply"-Greg is a genius when it comes to making complex issues simple and, therefore, doable-"this is development."

He showed what happened when he moved his hands too far away from each other: The rubber band became taut and clearly in danger of breaking. Stretched too far for too long, the rubber band is ruined.

Inherent in the leaders.h.i.+p relations.h.i.+p is the expectation that over time, the direction you give will result in progress toward maturity, growth in skills and character, and even an increase in your own leaders.h.i.+p competencies.

Then he moved his hands closer together until therubber band became slack, not at all capable of doing what we hire rubber bands to do. Completely incapable of acting like a decent rubber band.

Inherent in the leaders.h.i.+p relations.h.i.+p is the expectation that over time, the direction you give will result in progress towardmaturity, growth in skills and character, and even an increase in your own leaders.h.i.+p competencies.

I think it is a helpful and good discipline to write out a simple developmental plan for the people you lead. And once that plan is written, the best way to implement it is to think of those people as rubber bands. When I was nineteen years old, I'm pretty sure Jamie Barr thought a lot about rubber bands when he thought about me.

Jamie was the high school pastor at my church in Whittier, California. He had spent years as a researcher at the City of Hope National Medical Center before he heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit calling him to seminary.

With a heart for high school kids, he eventually landed in the role of youth pastor at the church I was attending. I was a freshman at a nearby college that required a certain number of ministry hours a month, and Jamie's area seemed as good as any.

Over the next five years, Jamie Barr became the first developmental leader in my life. He stretched me and challenged me, he supported and encouraged me, he believed in me and gave me things to do-things that mattered.

Jamie was the first person who ever uttered the words Nancy Nancy, leader leader, and teacher teacher in the same sentence. Do you understand the power of naming someone's giftedness? Themoment and memory of that has propelled me down some of the most significant paths in my life. Those words meant so much because they came from a leader who was stretching me and taking me places for which I had no map. in the same sentence. Do you understand the power of naming someone's giftedness? Themoment and memory of that has propelled me down some of the most significant paths in my life. Those words meant so much because they came from a leader who was stretching me and taking me places for which I had no map.

My most vivid recollections of those years with Jamie include conversations we had directly following either a success or a failure. After I had done something well, he would tell me about it. He would replay the details of what I had done, share his observations regarding it, and talk about the impact my actions had had on the high school kids. Then he would always say something like, "Okay, now get over it"-just in case I was tempted to linger a bit too long in the glory of the win. He kept my head on straight with that comment. I was nineteen, and if someone isn't helping you keep your head on straight at that age, there isn't much hope.

Whenever I did something that didn't fit into the "success" category-when my teaching didn't "click" or I was too glib (I think that only happened once. I am tempted to include one of those smiley faces here, but I don't like them.), or when I made a poor decision or did something that was in my own best interest rather than that of the kids, Jamie would say something like, "So if you had that to do over again, what would you do differently?"

How graciously directive! I wasn't going to get a chance to do it over again, but I was was going to have a chance to learn from my mistakes and grow enough so that when the next opportunity came I might make a better choice. going to have a chance to learn from my mistakes and grow enough so that when the next opportunity came I might make a better choice.

So much hope was implied in that tiny question, and the way he worded it helped me to save face a bit. It spared me the crus.h.i.+ng things that could could have been said: "You idiot! How could you possibly do something have been said: "You idiot! How could you possibly do something that that stupid?" And believe me, there were times when that would have been the best response. It also spared me from the painful illusions that I didn't need improvement or that problems should be avoided. And it built within me a foundation of strength for the times when I would fail again. stupid?" And believe me, there were times when that would have been the best response. It also spared me from the painful illusions that I didn't need improvement or that problems should be avoided. And it built within me a foundation of strength for the times when I would fail again.

Jamie gave me hope because he intimated that there would be a next time; this mistake, while still a mistake, had not rendered me completely unqualified for another chance.

There was hope in the fact that it was a collaborative question. Jamie allowed me to engage in a conversationabout what I could learn and how I could be shaped by that learning. The very best development that a leader can offer engagessomeone else in the dialogue of learning.

The very best development that a leader can offer engages someone else in the dialogue of learning.

And so Jamie Barr grew me up. As a leader, as a teacher, as a follower of Christ. He gave me opportunities, challenges, and a relations.h.i.+p-three things that form a powerful crucible of development. He stretched me sometimes to the point of pain, but never to the point of breaking. He cared for me genuinely, of that I was never in doubt.

And while I never once saw him take out a written plan, I think Jamie may have had rubber bands on his mind.

the core of Leaders.h.i.+p Leaders.h.i.+p.

WHATEVER IS AT THE CENTERof something has a lot to do withits quality, whether it is fruit, golf b.a.l.l.s, or leaders.h.i.+p.

I think the core of leaders.h.i.+p is hope.

Leaders.h.i.+p is the hope that we can change the things that need to be changed and create what we cannot now imagine. Hope gives us the courage to move forward, the power to forgive, and the grace to keep the promises we have made.

Hope dispels fears. Hope readies us for round two.

Hope holds our heads above water and gives us permission to regroup when we are tired. Hope redeems mistakes and prompts the optimism and resilience of a leader.

To lead well, we must possess the strong belief that our best days are ahead of us, always ahead of us. Hope and leaders.h.i.+p are inexorably linked.

It is critical for leaders to do whatever they can to stay connected to hope, and to drink deeply from its well. We need to find ways to live that renew the life of G.o.d in usbecause the life of G.o.d is a life of hope, a meal that sustains.

Whenever I experience that wonderful convergence of myefforts and G.o.d's gifts, the level of hope within me rises to new levels. Whenever I experience the true nature of G.o.d-not the myths of Him to which I sometimes cling like a child clings to a favorite blanket-I am surrounded by a hope that swirls around me in Dolby Stereo.

Hope and leaders.h.i.+p are inexorably linked.

Hope is like a bone marrow transplant: It changes everything. It invades and permeates. It releases us from cynicism and doubt, and restores belief. And it is stronger than the fear that prompted us to go looking for it in the first place.

Hope breeds confidence.

Hope is contagious.

Recently I met with a young kid. I can call him that because Jake is in his midtwenties and I am not. I could call him some other things as well, because over breakfast he mentioned someone who is in his late forties and referred to him as "an older person." Since late forties is younger than I am, this kid almost wound up getting stuck with the check. But when I was his age, I thought late forties was old, too. Anyway . . .

Jake is finis.h.i.+ng up his last year at Stanford business school and has started a 501(c)(3) called Nuru International, which creates innovative, sustainable solutions to extreme poverty. In Swahili, nuru nuru means "a small light in the darkness." Jake is a Christ-follower, and he is humble and pa.s.sionate and gifted to lead this enterprise. Nuru is not a Christian organization per se, but it is led by a handful of committed disciples of Jesus, as well as a few others who have different or no faith background. means "a small light in the darkness." Jake is a Christ-follower, and he is humble and pa.s.sionate and gifted to lead this enterprise. Nuru is not a Christian organization per se, but it is led by a handful of committed disciples of Jesus, as well as a few others who have different or no faith background.

This was our second or third meeting, and Jake was taking me through his business model, including his vision, an a.n.a.lysis of the challenges, and the first steps of the plan. He listed out the team formation and the area in Kenya where their pilot project would be taking place. As I listened to his strategy, talked with him about G.o.d's unexpected direction, and considered the well-thought-out plans put together by gifted minds of G.o.d's people, I felt so hopeful.

With all the key ingredients in place-great thought and planning, visits to the area, meetings with local leaders.h.i.+p, the caliber of people and expertise on the team-it seemed quite possible that this could be a stunning and sustainable model for making a dent in extreme poverty. Jake and his team had chosen to focuson the areas of health care, education, agriculture, water/sanitation, and small business development. Thegroup had created a holistic model designed to stir an integrated momentum into action that could, I believed, have enormous implications. There had been, of course, a local leaders.h.i.+p development and succession strategy in place right from the beginning.

Then we talked about Jake's financial model and fundraising and partners.h.i.+p opportunities. At the time, the group was about a week away from its first dinner with possible donors. Jake said, "I just hate to ask for favors."

I completely understand that feeling; it makes sense. On one level. But in reality, Jake wasn't going to be asking anyone for any favors.

Jake was going to offer hope. And offer people a chance to be a part of that. His gifts and his pa.s.sion and his G.o.d had converged, and in Jake's heart and mind Nuru had sprung.

Nuru has the potential to relieve the intolerable burden of poverty from people whose names we do not yet know. It has the positioning to allow dependent communities to grow into self-sustaining areas.

Jake is dedicated, committed, thoughtful, thorough, collaborative, and smart. He has done his homework, devised plans and strategies that empower, and integrated standardized and rigorous measurements for his own accountability. He has prayed and listened to G.o.d. He has made himself a humble student of other methodologies and sought out experts in his target development areas.

Hope is hard work.

No, Jake would not be asking anyone for a favor; he would extend hope and invite others to join him. We should be the ones thanking him.

Hope has so much power in it. When we release hope in individuals and organizations, they flourish. As leaders, we sooften become overly preoccupied with the wrong things. Things that in and of themselves are good and necessary, but not if we major on them. Few leaders I know have taken seriously the power of hope and done whatever they can to infuse it into their people.

Hope is hard work.

I'm not talking about mindless, inauthentic, cheerleading hope. Real hope is a potent force, and when it sits in the center of things, it becomes an epicenter.

There is a man in our church named Art Flegel. Art was a business leader in the community, serving for years as president of a chain of upscale furniture stores. He is now ninety years old.

Too often, I think, we unfairly stereotype the elderly. We accuse them of being resistant to change and stuckin the old ways of doing things. But here's what I think. I think people who resist change and hold on to the old ways when they are in their twenties become people who resist changeand hold on to old ways when they are older. People who embrace change and gravitate toward new ideas in their twenties become people who embrace change and gravitate toward new ideas when they are older.

Real hope is a potent force, and when it sits in the center of things, it becomes an epicenter.

May I present Art Flegel?

Did I mention that he is ninety years old?

Art and his wife, Cleo, live across the street from us, so we get a front-row seat to the way they live. I have decided that I want to be Art Flegel when I grow up. Art always has a sparkle in his eye and a spring in his step. Often at six in the morning when I am stumbling out of our front door in my green robe to try to find the newspaper, I encounter Art. He is in his workout clothes starting his morning walk. And he is in a great mood. I slink back into my house, newspaper in hand, a bit humiliated that I have been outdone by a ninety-year-old before I have had my breakfast.

Art is working on a book about his family's genealogy, and he tends to a front and a backyard that look like they belong on the cover of Sunset Sunset magazine. The azaleas, roses, begonias, and agapanthus are testimony to his green thumb and his perseverance. He often shows up at our front door with a handful of breathtaking flowers to grace our family room. magazine. The azaleas, roses, begonias, and agapanthus are testimony to his green thumb and his perseverance. He often shows up at our front door with a handful of breathtaking flowers to grace our family room.