Bardisms Part 7

Some details: Falstaff's wonderful metaphor of his party-boy youth-he stayed up late enough to hear the church bells chime midnight-supplied Orson Welles with the t.i.tle for one of the best Shakespeare films ever made. Chimes at Midnight Chimes at Midnight is a 1965 screen adaptation of Welles' is a 1965 screen adaptation of Welles' Five Kings Five Kings, his famous stage condensation of Shakespeare's English history plays. The film tells the stories of Henry IV, Parts I and II Henry IV, Parts I and II and and Henry V Henry V and features not only Welles' own finest performance as Falstaff but also countless sequences that show his unparalleled mastery of filmmaking. Scene after scene, he translates Shakespeare's text into cinematic terms so evocative that Shakespeare himself couldn't have imagined them better. The climactic battle sequence is an extraordinary tour de force, and its camera work and editing have been studied, emulated, and stolen wholesale in just about every war movie made in the past four decades (directors Mel Gibson and Steven Spielberg explicitly acknowledged their borrowings from Welles for the battles in, respectively, and features not only Welles' own finest performance as Falstaff but also countless sequences that show his unparalleled mastery of filmmaking. Scene after scene, he translates Shakespeare's text into cinematic terms so evocative that Shakespeare himself couldn't have imagined them better. The climactic battle sequence is an extraordinary tour de force, and its camera work and editing have been studied, emulated, and stolen wholesale in just about every war movie made in the past four decades (directors Mel Gibson and Steven Spielberg explicitly acknowledged their borrowings from Welles for the battles in, respectively, Braveheart Braveheart and and Saving Private Ryan Saving Private Ryan). Chimes at Midnight Chimes at Midnight is difficult to find because of legal entanglements dating back to the shenanigans Welles pulled, in his post is difficult to find because of legal entanglements dating back to the shenanigans Welles pulled, in his postCitizen Kane disfavor, in order to get the movie made, but now and then it shows up on television. See it if you can. disfavor, in order to get the movie made, but now and then it shows up on television. See it if you can.

I'M IN GOOD SHAPE FOR MY AGE One Shakespearean character who manages to grow old gracefully and without too much Sturm und Drang is Adam in As You Like It As You Like It. Perhaps his happy fate is a function of the actor who played him: theater lore holds that William Shakespeare himself trod the boards in the role. He'd have been in his thirties at the time-less than half the character's age-so it's hard to credit the legend too far, but it's fun to imagine him p.r.o.nouncing this delightful Bardism, Shakespeare on the Occasion of the Spry Old Fox.

Though I look old, yet I am strong and l.u.s.ty,For in my youth I never did applyHot and rebellious liquors in my blood,Nor did not with unbashful forehead wooThe means of weakness and debility. 5Therefore my age is as a l.u.s.ty winter,Frosty but kindly.-ADAM, As You Like It As You Like It, 2.3.4854 In other words: I may look old, but I'm still vigorous and full of beans. That's because, when I was young, I made sure not to take anything that would inflame my pa.s.sions and stir me up to no good. And I didn't go crazily chasing after all sorts of things that would in the long run be bad for me. The result is that in my old age, I'm like a bracing winter's day: cold, but enjoyable.

How to use it: I've pressed this speech into service on two very different occasions. The first was when a pal told me that his seventy-five-year-old dad had just won a tennis tournament held in his Florida retirement community. "Tell him to say this when he accepts his trophy," I advised, and Papa did, to general approbation. The second was when a student of mine asked for something to read at her uncle's seventieth-birthday party. I advised her to subst.i.tute I've pressed this speech into service on two very different occasions. The first was when a pal told me that his seventy-five-year-old dad had just won a tennis tournament held in his Florida retirement community. "Tell him to say this when he accepts his trophy," I advised, and Papa did, to general approbation. The second was when a student of mine asked for something to read at her uncle's seventieth-birthday party. I advised her to subst.i.tute he he and and his his for Adam's for Adam's I I and and my my and to present the pa.s.sage as Shakespeare's tribute to her hale and hearty uncle. She reported that the speech was met with gales of laughter: apparently her uncle's youth was not quite as abstemious as Adam's, so the lines about having avoided rebellious liquors took on an amusing irony. and to present the pa.s.sage as Shakespeare's tribute to her hale and hearty uncle. She reported that the speech was met with gales of laughter: apparently her uncle's youth was not quite as abstemious as Adam's, so the lines about having avoided rebellious liquors took on an amusing irony. l.u.s.ty l.u.s.ty also prompted giggles, especially from my student's aunt, who gave her husband a knowing-and appreciative-wink! also prompted giggles, especially from my student's aunt, who gave her husband a knowing-and appreciative-wink! The p.r.o.nouns The p.r.o.nouns she she and and her her will render Adam's text suitable for Eve. will render Adam's text suitable for Eve.

SHAKESPEARE ON GRANDPARENTHOOD Thy grandam loves thee.

-KING J JOHN, King John King John, 3.3.3 Few events mark the beginning of the Sixth Age of Man as definitively as the birth of a grandchild, yet grandparents in the Complete Works Complete Works are thin on the ground, and what few there are hardly embody the cookies-and-cardigans warmth I a.s.sociate with my own parents' parents. At the same time, dynastic issues are everywhere in the canon; in practically every single play some part of the story turns on what's bequeathed by an ancestor to his or her progeny, be that their moral values, some political imperative, or money and real estate. For Shakespeare, each generation is a product of all the generations that precede it, and so firmly is this genealogical principle embedded in his works that his briefest glance in its direction communicates it with force and clarity. The Bard doesn't need to put a forefather onstage in order to convey his presence in the lives of his descendants; merely mentioning his name or one of his famous exploits summons everything that person could have wished to leave his dynasty. And that, I think, is why Shakespearean grandparents are so scarce in the flesh. The very DNA of the plays encodes the essence of "grand-parentness," so Shakespeare can economize on ink and vellum by not writing the actual people. Put another way, in Shakespeare's dramaturgy, the idea are thin on the ground, and what few there are hardly embody the cookies-and-cardigans warmth I a.s.sociate with my own parents' parents. At the same time, dynastic issues are everywhere in the canon; in practically every single play some part of the story turns on what's bequeathed by an ancestor to his or her progeny, be that their moral values, some political imperative, or money and real estate. For Shakespeare, each generation is a product of all the generations that precede it, and so firmly is this genealogical principle embedded in his works that his briefest glance in its direction communicates it with force and clarity. The Bard doesn't need to put a forefather onstage in order to convey his presence in the lives of his descendants; merely mentioning his name or one of his famous exploits summons everything that person could have wished to leave his dynasty. And that, I think, is why Shakespearean grandparents are so scarce in the flesh. The very DNA of the plays encodes the essence of "grand-parentness," so Shakespeare can economize on ink and vellum by not writing the actual people. Put another way, in Shakespeare's dramaturgy, the idea grandma grandma is a perfectly sufficient subst.i.tute for Grandma herself. is a perfectly sufficient subst.i.tute for Grandma herself.

In life, of course, no such grandmotherly subst.i.tution is imaginable. Paradoxically enough-and fortunately for those Shakespeare quoters in need of a Bardism for Mom's mom-in two lines out of the thousands and thousands he wrote, Shakespeare managed to express, even absent a grandma, just what grandmas are all about.

GRANDPARENTS HAVE A LOT OF LOVE TO OFFER Those two lines are spoken by Richard III as he labors to persuade a horrified Queen Elizabeth to allow him to marry her young daughter. Richard imagines a future in which his bride will bear him children who will call him father and the Queen grandmother. And those grandchildren, although sired by a man she hates, will nonetheless, Richard a.s.sures the Queen, be "even of your mettle, of your very blood," and so will "be a comfort to your age." It's a bold rhetorical move that yields Richard what he seeks, and yields us Shakespeare on the Occasion of a Visit to Granny's House.

A grandam's name is little less in loveThan is the doting t.i.tle of a mother.-KING R RICHARD, Richard III Richard III, 4.4.273.12273.13 In other words: The word Grandma has in it the same amount of love as the very love-filled word Mama.

How to use it: Feel free to change the gender of the lines- Feel free to change the gender of the lines-grandam becomes becomes grandsire grandsire, and mother mother becomes becomes father father. These lines can help grandparents convey to their families exactly how intense is their love for their grandkids. They can also serve as an expression of affection and grat.i.tude to Gram and Gramps for the quant.i.ty and quality of their love. Perhaps most useful of all, they can mediate the kinds of disputes that arise when Granny lets the kids chow down on Pop-Tarts in direct contravention of Mom's prohibition against excessive sugar intake. (Disputes, I should add, I know nothing about.) These lines can help grandparents convey to their families exactly how intense is their love for their grandkids. They can also serve as an expression of affection and grat.i.tude to Gram and Gramps for the quant.i.ty and quality of their love. Perhaps most useful of all, they can mediate the kinds of disputes that arise when Granny lets the kids chow down on Pop-Tarts in direct contravention of Mom's prohibition against excessive sugar intake. (Disputes, I should add, I know nothing about.) SHAKESPEARE ON TRIBUTES Give me a staff of honor for mine age.

-t.i.tUS, t.i.tus Andronicus t.i.tus Andronicus, 1.1.198 The Sixth Age of Man is a time when work wraps up and life slows down. The lean and slippered pantaloon walks more slowly, talks more slowly, and often thinks a bit more slowly than he did back in the high-energy salad days of Ages Three and Four. A mentor of mine once told me that the reason people slow in old age is because taking a more leisurely approach to time is their hard-earned reward for seven long decades of hurtling, hustling, and bustling. Looked at in this way, retirement isn't the end of a career in the workforce, it's the beginning of a new career of unhurried experiences and easygoing pleasures. This explains why a gold watch is the standard retirement gift: the retiree deserves to tell the hours of his repose in style. For those occasions on which that gold watch is presented, for those moments when the reward that is the Sixth Age's slower pace is publicly bestowed, indeed, for those situations when words of tribute of any kind are called for, Shakespeare's ready for action.

YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL GUY One of the great things about Shakespeare's words of tribute is that they manage to be moving and heartfelt without being sentimental. Here are two wonderful examples.

First, no character treads the line between true feeling and treacle better than Hotspur, the no-nonsense soldier we've met before. His tribute to Lord Douglas, his Scottish comrade in arms, is one of my favorites: matter-of-fact, yet full of love.

By G.o.d, I cannot flatter, I do defyThe tongues of soothers, but a braver placeIn my heart's love hath no man than yourself.-HOTSPUR, Henry IV, Part I Henry IV, Part I, I, 4.1.68 In other words: I swear to you, I'm incapable of flattery. I've got no time for smooth-talking yes-men. But I will say this: I hold no man in higher esteem than I do you.

How to use it: I once heard the chairman of a college English department bid farewell to a retiring professor with these words, and they brought a tear to the eye of everyone in the room. The strength of the first phrase, which insists that the speaker isn't given to hyperbole and excessive praise, somehow makes the lines especially emotional. I once heard the chairman of a college English department bid farewell to a retiring professor with these words, and they brought a tear to the eye of everyone in the room. The strength of the first phrase, which insists that the speaker isn't given to hyperbole and excessive praise, somehow makes the lines especially emotional. This Bardism is an ideal retirement tribute, but it works equally well as a commendation on a job well done, or even as an expression of warmth and grat.i.tude between close friends. This Bardism is an ideal retirement tribute, but it works equally well as a commendation on a job well done, or even as an expression of warmth and grat.i.tude between close friends. Hotspur's final line is built according to a favorite Shakespearean pattern: a polysyllabic word at the end of a line of monosyllables, as in "To be or not to be, that is the question." Give each of the eight single-syllable words its own deliberate weight (In. My. Heart's. Love. Hath. No. Man. Than.) and you'll find that the longer, two-syllable word Hotspur's final line is built according to a favorite Shakespearean pattern: a polysyllabic word at the end of a line of monosyllables, as in "To be or not to be, that is the question." Give each of the eight single-syllable words its own deliberate weight (In. My. Heart's. Love. Hath. No. Man. Than.) and you'll find that the longer, two-syllable word yourself yourself jumps out of your mouth and takes on a special emphasis. jumps out of your mouth and takes on a special emphasis. Address this speech to a woman by adding the letters Address this speech to a woman by adding the letters wo wo to to man man in its last line. in its last line.

Second is Duke Vincentio, the measured hero of Measure for Measure Measure for Measure. Here he publicly acknowledges the excellence of Angelo, his meritorious subordinate.*

O, your desert speaks loud; and I should wrong itTo lock it in the wards of covert bosom,When it deserves, with characters of bra.s.s,A forted residence 'gainst the tooth of timeAnd razure of oblivion. Give me your hand, 5And let the subject see, to make them knowThat outward courtesies would fain proclaimFavors that keep within.-DUKE V VINCENTIO, Measure for Measure Measure for Measure, 5.1.916 In other words: Those things about you that are praiseworthy are very noticeable, and I'd be dishonoring them to keep quiet about them, and to hide my affection for them. They should have lasting monuments erected to them, strong fortresses that will withstand time's ravages and never fall into obscurity. Let me shake your hand, and let everyone see me do it. They'll understand that this gesture of politeness shows how deeply I feel about you, and how many good turns I intend to do you.

How to say it: This speech is perfect for public ceremonies of acknowledgment and appreciation. The Duke praises his deserving a.s.sociate before the citizenry over whom he reigns; you're more likely to be praising yours before your employees, co-workers, or friends. Feel free, then, to replace line 6's This speech is perfect for public ceremonies of acknowledgment and appreciation. The Duke praises his deserving a.s.sociate before the citizenry over whom he reigns; you're more likely to be praising yours before your employees, co-workers, or friends. Feel free, then, to replace line 6's the subject the subject with some more appropriate collective phrase: with some more appropriate collective phrase: my colleagues, my family, this gath'ring, the comp'ny my colleagues, my family, this gath'ring, the comp'ny. Note that the speech is appropriate for honorees of either gender. Some highly charged language expresses the pa.s.sion and energy of this lavish tribute. The honoree's deserving doesn't mumble or huff, but Some highly charged language expresses the pa.s.sion and energy of this lavish tribute. The honoree's deserving doesn't mumble or huff, but speaks loud speaks loud; it deserves to be written in bra.s.s bra.s.s, the medium of all great monuments, so that it will defy time's time's devouring devouring tooth, tooth, and stand fast against and stand fast against oblivion's oblivion's determination to determination to raze raze it. Allow these powerful words their full expressive rein. it. Allow these powerful words their full expressive rein. The Duke's verbs are vivid and should be given their due: The Duke's verbs are vivid and should be given their due: wrong, lock, deserves, give, see, know, proclaim wrong, lock, deserves, give, see, know, proclaim. Note the physical business that the speech demands: the Duke takes Angelo's hand on line 5. I remember seeing a production in which the Duke clutched Angelo's hand in both of his and then pressed it to his heart. The actor playing the role obviously felt that this gesture was more of an Note the physical business that the speech demands: the Duke takes Angelo's hand on line 5. I remember seeing a production in which the Duke clutched Angelo's hand in both of his and then pressed it to his heart. The actor playing the role obviously felt that this gesture was more of an outward courtesy outward courtesy than a mere handshake would have been. Feel free to borrow that interpretation. than a mere handshake would have been. Feel free to borrow that interpretation.

SHE IS A VERY INSPIRING WOMAN If you're looking to stroke the ego of a female friend, peer, or partner in crime, you can't do better than this extravagant Bardism, spoken about Queen Margaret after she gives a stemwinder of a pep talk to the troops under her command in the Wars of the Roses. Margaret is one of a small number of women in the plays who do military service, and the only one whose oratory rivals anything screamed out by Henry V.

Methinks a woman of this valiant spiritShould, if a coward heard her speak these words,Infuse his breast with magnanimityAnd make him, naked, foil a man at arms.-PRINCE E EDWARD, Henry VI, Part III Henry VI, Part III, 5.4.3942 In other words: I think a woman whose character is as upstanding as this one's could fill a coward with courage simply by saying the kinds of things she always says. She could inspire a naked man to defeat an armored soldier.

How to use it: This speech is about a woman whose work or great achievements have to do with her powers of speech. Introduce your remarks by citing some of the special and stirring things your honoree has said, then move into this Bardism to explain how inspirational you find her. However, if you need to talk about a gal whose gifts are not merely of gab, worry not: some minor tweaks to the second half of line 2 will save the day. Again, begin by describing what it is that's so unique and motivating about this woman-her deeds, her work, her example, say-and then point out, with some gently rewritten Shakespeare, that if a coward This speech is about a woman whose work or great achievements have to do with her powers of speech. Introduce your remarks by citing some of the special and stirring things your honoree has said, then move into this Bardism to explain how inspirational you find her. However, if you need to talk about a gal whose gifts are not merely of gab, worry not: some minor tweaks to the second half of line 2 will save the day. Again, begin by describing what it is that's so unique and motivating about this woman-her deeds, her work, her example, say-and then point out, with some gently rewritten Shakespeare, that if a coward saw saw her her do these deeds do these deeds, or make this work make this work, or reach this goal reach this goal, or set this standard set this standard, he'd become magnanimous and invincible. Be sure to draw the contrast between the craven Be sure to draw the contrast between the craven coward coward of line 2 and the of line 2 and the magnanimity magnanimity he'd gain from your fine female friend's inspirational ministrations. he'd gain from your fine female friend's inspirational ministrations.

SHAKESPEARE ON HEALTH AND MEDICINE Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin As self-neglecting.-DAUPHIN, Henry V Henry V, 2.4.7475 No doubt there are a host of entirely normal physiological changes a.s.sociated with growing old that result in the Sixth Age's shrunken shank and piping, whistling voice. On the other hand, these traits may also be symptomatic of ailments that can beset the pantaloon in the December of his years. Illness and infirmity, so dreadfully prominent as life winds down, and an unwelcome intrusion even on life's most vital years, are widely considered in the Bard's works. There are characters who catch cold, who suffer accidents and injuries, who speechify on their deathbeds (folklore held that the gift of prophecy was given to the dying in the moments before they expire), even, in Henry IV, Part II Henry IV, Part II, a character who feigns illness in order to get out of doing something he doesn't want to do (that's Northumberland, who calls in sick to the Battle of Shrewsbury, thus hanging his own son out to dry-and die-at enemy hands). There is also a smattering of physicians and surgeons in the canon, very few of whom actually manage to cure anyone of anything, perhaps dramatizing Shakespeare's core belief that the physical ravages of old age no more yield to human intervention than do any of time's other savagely destructive powers.

The Bardisms below are Shakespeare for Occasions of Aches, Pains, and Visits to the Doc.

A TOOTHACHE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS Compared with the miraculous practice of today's doctors, medicine in Shakespeare's period, known as physic, was just this side of voodoo. But Renaissance doctoring, however primitive, was like a visit to the Mayo Clinic compared to Renaissance dentistry, a practice about which the adjective barbaric barbaric is a compliment. Although by the late sixteenth century dentists had begun to professionalize themselves through standard training and practices, in most parts of England it remained nearly impossible to receive anything resembling decent dental care. The medieval approach to mouth care continued: dentistry was handled by barbers, who maintained alongside their combs and scissors a veritable torture chamber of hammers, pliers, levers, saws, and other blunt instruments for cutting, drilling, and extracting teeth. Pain-free dentistry? Hardly. But despite the agony of getting dental care, patients sought it out on doctors' orders: physicians often prescribed tooth extraction as a cure for a whole host of diseases that we know today to be entirely unrelated to the mouth. is a compliment. Although by the late sixteenth century dentists had begun to professionalize themselves through standard training and practices, in most parts of England it remained nearly impossible to receive anything resembling decent dental care. The medieval approach to mouth care continued: dentistry was handled by barbers, who maintained alongside their combs and scissors a veritable torture chamber of hammers, pliers, levers, saws, and other blunt instruments for cutting, drilling, and extracting teeth. Pain-free dentistry? Hardly. But despite the agony of getting dental care, patients sought it out on doctors' orders: physicians often prescribed tooth extraction as a cure for a whole host of diseases that we know today to be entirely unrelated to the mouth.

People often ask me: "If time travel existed, would you like to go back to Shakespeare's London?" My answer: "Only if I was sure I didn't have any cavities."

There was never yet philosopherThat could endure the toothache patiently,However they have writ they style of G.o.ds,And made a pish at chance and sufferance.-LEONATO, Much Ado About Nothing Much Ado About Nothing, 5.1.3538 In other words: Not even the most thoughtful and a.n.a.lytical person can put up with the agony of a toothache, even if their writings have transcended human concerns, and even if they've blown a raspberry at bad luck and suffering.

How to say it: Feel free to interpret the toothache in this pa.s.sage metaphorically. Leonato's observation works in the context of any inconvenience that's grown so annoying that it can no longer be ignored. Feel free to interpret the toothache in this pa.s.sage metaphorically. Leonato's observation works in the context of any inconvenience that's grown so annoying that it can no longer be ignored. End at line 2 if you'd like. Lines 3 and 4, though, are well suited to the stoic in your life who doesn't usually complain about anything, but whose impacted wisdom teeth have him climbing walls and cursing like a stevedore. End at line 2 if you'd like. Lines 3 and 4, though, are well suited to the stoic in your life who doesn't usually complain about anything, but whose impacted wisdom teeth have him climbing walls and cursing like a stevedore. Use the Paper Trick on this pa.s.sage and you'll find that it unfolds elegantly, line by line by line. Observe the phrasing break at the end of line 3, and you'll discover how absolutely perfect is Leonato's choice of the word Use the Paper Trick on this pa.s.sage and you'll find that it unfolds elegantly, line by line by line. Observe the phrasing break at the end of line 3, and you'll discover how absolutely perfect is Leonato's choice of the word pish pish to express the philosopher's disdain for every misery, a cavalier dismissal that's useless in the face of root ca.n.a.l. to express the philosopher's disdain for every misery, a cavalier dismissal that's useless in the face of root ca.n.a.l.

MY BODY MAY BE SHOT, BUT MY MIND'S OKAY Here's some Shakespeare on the Occasion of Heroically Punching Your Time Card Even Though You Really Should Be Home in Bed. It may not fully satisfy the guy in the next cubicle who's slathered himself in Purell in order not to catch your flu, but it should at least keep him quiet for a moment.

I am not very sick, / Since I can reason of it.-IMOGEN, Cymbeline Cymbeline, 4.2.1314 In other words: I'm obviously not seriously ill, since I'm still okay enough to talk about my condition.

LET'S FURTHER THINK ON THIS...When movie star Charlton Heston announced in 2002 that he'd be leaving public life because he'd been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, it seemed entirely fitting that he ended his statement by quoting Prospero from The Tempest The Tempest. "Our revels now are ended," the actor said, then skipped a few lines to the really meaty bit: "We are such stuff / As dreams are made on and our little life / Is rounded with a sleep." Heston chose exactly the right character (an elderly artist), at precisely the right moment in his life (contemplating his imminent death), and from just the right play (a work very much concerned with endings and the emotional and psychological preparations they require). We were moved by his plight, stirred by his words, and appreciative of his efforts to locate Shakespearean rhetoric appropriate to the occasion.

NATURAL CURES ARE THE WAY TO GO What we'd today call self-help books const.i.tuted a small literary subgenre in the English Renaissance, and home remedy manuals filled a significant niche within the category. Sufferers of everything from headache to ingrown toenail could consult various early modern versions of the Physician's Desk Reference Physician's Desk Reference and learn how to prepare concoctions, boluses, and poultices to treat their pains. All the necessary ingredients were as close as the nearest garden: Shakespeare's pharmacopoeia was Mother Nature. Friar Laurence, the homeopathic healer, clergyman, and (unfortunately idiosyncratic) relations.h.i.+p counselor in and learn how to prepare concoctions, boluses, and poultices to treat their pains. All the necessary ingredients were as close as the nearest garden: Shakespeare's pharmacopoeia was Mother Nature. Friar Laurence, the homeopathic healer, clergyman, and (unfortunately idiosyncratic) relations.h.i.+p counselor in Romeo and Juliet Romeo and Juliet, makes the Bard's most sustained comments on the powers of natural medicine when he first appears in the play: O mickle is the powerful grace that liesIn plants, herbs, stones, and their true qualities,For naught so vile that on the earth doth liveBut to the earth some special good doth give.-FRIAR L LAURENCE, Romeo and Juliet Romeo and Juliet, 2.2.1516 In other words: Let me tell you, there's goodness and effectiveness in plants, herbs, rocks, and their inherent properties, and it's strong. Even the worst living things on earth have some good to contribute.

How to say it: When you quote these four lines, try to take note of the fact that they comprise two rhyming couplets (the Friar's speech is thirty lines long, all of it in rhyme). When you quote these four lines, try to take note of the fact that they comprise two rhyming couplets (the Friar's speech is thirty lines long, all of it in rhyme). Live Live and and give give obviously rhyme. obviously rhyme. Lies Lies and and qualities qualities make a so-called near-rhyme: they are almost but not quite the same sound. The rhymes give the pa.s.sage a slight sense of quaintness, of expressing tried-and-true wisdom. Let your listeners hear it. make a so-called near-rhyme: they are almost but not quite the same sound. The rhymes give the pa.s.sage a slight sense of quaintness, of expressing tried-and-true wisdom. Let your listeners hear it. I sometimes recite these lines at the cash register when I visit health food stores to stock up on echinacea, Chinese herbs, and other remedies. It's a habit that irritates my wife but most of the time earns a smile from the yogi hemp-head true believer who rings up my purchase. I sometimes recite these lines at the cash register when I visit health food stores to stock up on echinacea, Chinese herbs, and other remedies. It's a habit that irritates my wife but most of the time earns a smile from the yogi hemp-head true believer who rings up my purchase.

WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING MORE FOR HIM When natural cures fail and modern hospital technology throws up its hands, turn to Cerimon, the Hippocrates of Pericles Pericles. His Bardism on medical futility couches some harsh news in kindness and eloquence.

There's nothing can be ministered to natureThat can recover him.-CERIMON, Pericles Pericles, 3.2.78 How to use it: Swap in Swap in her her if need be. if need be. Certainly useful to the Certainly useful to the Grey's Anatomy Grey's Anatomy set, Cerimon's brief statement might also prove valuable when applied metaphorically to anyone incorrigible: a madcap friend who won't stop joking; a professional daredevil determined to encase himself in ice for a week; an adventure tourist bent on a bungee-jumping expedition around the world. set, Cerimon's brief statement might also prove valuable when applied metaphorically to anyone incorrigible: a madcap friend who won't stop joking; a professional daredevil determined to encase himself in ice for a week; an adventure tourist bent on a bungee-jumping expedition around the world.

I'M GOING TO SUE FOR MALPRACTICE Cerimon possesses at least the dignity to report on his own professional impotence in person. Other Shakespearean physicians are far less respectful to their charges. In this blunt and sobering Bardism, Lucrece complains that inattentive doctors are the moral equivalents of venal judges and cruel tyrants. Use it not only on those-I hope rare-occasions when the doctor's orders aren't doing the trick, but also whenever your struggles are overlooked by those who should be paying attention.

The patient dies while the physician sleeps;The orphan pines while the oppressor feeds;Justice is feasting while the widow weeps;Advice is sporting while infection breeds.-The Rape of Lucrece, 9047 In other words: The sick person pa.s.ses away while the doctor snoozes. Starving children go hungry while the corrupt leader responsible for their privation parties down. Those in the criminal justice system are out having lunch instead of busy prosecuting the murderer of the bereft widow's husband. Disease spreads like wildfire while the experts are on the golf course.

Some details: Shakespeare sustained his theater career alongside an entirely separate and equally successful life as a poet. Yes, his thirty-eight magnificent plays are his claim to fame today, but had you asked a Londoner of the early seventeenth century who William Shakespeare was, he'd have answered, "He's the brilliant bloke who wrote that gorgeous and t.i.tillating Venus and Adonis Venus and Adonis." That poem, from which we quoted in Chapter Three, was more successful by a mile than even his best-selling published plays: there were nine separate printings of it during Shakespeare's lifetime, and a handful more in the two decades after his death. Venus and Adonis Venus and Adonis, along with The Rape of Lucrece The Rape of Lucrece, Shakespeare's other great narrative poem, quoted here, show that Shakespeare was and is not only the world's greatest playwright, but that he's one of the geniuses of non-dramatic English poetry, too.

While it's likely that Shakespeare turned to poetry in order to help pay the bills during the plague years of the early 1590s, when he would have been on forced furlough from his regular gig at the government-closed playhouses, it's by no means clear that he regarded poetry as a secondary calling. Quite the contrary: of the more than three dozen of his works that reached print, the only two we can be certain he personally supervised through the publis.h.i.+ng process were Venus and Adonis Venus and Adonis and and The Rape of Lucrece The Rape of Lucrece.

Both poems are over a thousand lines long. Both are inspired by stories Shakespeare found in the work of his favorite cla.s.sical author, Ovid-stories to which he'd return many times throughout his career. Both are about l.u.s.t and its consequences, and both link s.e.x and death in ways that would make Dr. Freud dance a jig. In the first, the wicked Tarquin, a member of Rome's ruling family, rapes Lucrece, wife of the General Collatine, while the latter is away in battle. Lucrece, horrified and ashamed, commits suicide. When Collatine returns to Rome and learns what's happened, he raises a revolt against the Tarquins, which leads to the foundation of the Roman republic. In Venus and Adonis Venus and Adonis, a handsome young man, Adonis, refuses the rapacious s.e.xual advances of Venus, the middle-aged G.o.ddess of love. He goes off to hunt and is gored to death by a wild boar. Venus is so devastated that she curses love, which is why to this day love and pain are always intertwined (one example: "It [i.e., love] shall be cause of war and dire events, / And set dissension 'twixt the son and sire"). Both poems show flashes of the genius Shakespeare will manifest steadily later in his career, and both deploy dramatic effects in an unusually sophisticated way-no surprise given that their author already knew a thing or two about playwrighting. I teach material from both poems in my acting cla.s.ses, and my students enjoy it. I recommend taking a look at them sometime.

SHAKESPEARE ON NEWS What news on the Rialto?

-SHYLOCK, The Merchant of Venice The Merchant of Venice, 1.3.33 Arthur Miller articulated a fundamental principle of good dramatic construction in one of his many essays about his writing process. "Every line of dialogue in a play," he p.r.o.nounced, "must deliver new information. If it doesn't, then it must be cut." Miller's plays-the early ones, anyway-abide scrupulously by this rule, and are as lean and tightly composed as any of the masterpieces of world dramatic literature. Miller's model during that first phase of his career was one of the pillars of the canon, Henrik Ibsen, the father of modern drama. Norway's favorite son was another writer fanatical about cutting away the fat until all that's left is dialogue that drives the play forward, that delivers news.

Shakespeare's artisans.h.i.+p is less disciplined than either Miller's (a carpenter by avocation, whose love of precision and handicraft is as visible in every mortise and tenon he joined as it is in his characters' speech) or Ibsen's (an abstemious Scandinavian whose revulsion at excess is evident in his life as well as his work). Yet for all the Bard's sprawl and ornament-his piling on of metaphor and linguistic filigree, and his refusal to say something once when he can say it three times-he is in his own way a devout preacher of Miller's "new information or cut it" gospel. Witness the hundreds and hundreds of times he writes the word news news. That little syllable catapults his plots forward as characters ask "What's the news with thee?" or demand "How now, what news?" or declare "This is the news at full." Indeed, Shakespeare delivers so much news news that he could bring a smile to the stony visages of Miller and Ibsen, tongue-tie Brian Williams, Katie Couric, and Charlie Gibson, and pick up a Pulitzer or two, all without breaking stride. Here's a selection of some of his stop-the-presses bulletins: Bardisms for the news junkie. that he could bring a smile to the stony visages of Miller and Ibsen, tongue-tie Brian Williams, Katie Couric, and Charlie Gibson, and pick up a Pulitzer or two, all without breaking stride. Here's a selection of some of his stop-the-presses bulletins: Bardisms for the news junkie.

BREAKING DEVELOPMENTS...

If I ran the Federal Communications Commission, I'd mandate that television stations replace the familiar stentorian bark of "We interrupt this program for a special report" with this more poetic formulation. Use it to announce your unfolding story.

With news the time's in labor, and throws forthEach minute some.-CAMIDIUS, Antony and Cleopatra Antony and Cleopatra, 3.7.8081 In other words: There's so much news that it's like the world is a woman pregnant with it, and she's in the delivery room giving birth to more by the minute.

I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS!

There's no more delightful duty than to be a messenger carrying wonderful news. Celebrate your felicitous info by announcing it thus: Tidings do I bring, and lucky joys, / And golden times, and happy news of price.-PISTOL, Henry IV, Part II Henry IV, Part II, 5.3.8990 In other words: I've got something to say, and it's about joyous good fortune, and beautiful moments, and giddy news that's really valuable.

IT'S ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER Alas, not all news is good, and bad news has an irritating habit of cl.u.s.tering together and hitting like a tsunami. "When sorrows come, they come not single spies / But in battalions," says Claudius to his wife in Hamlet Hamlet. She echoes him a few scenes later with this Bardism, Shakespeare on the Occasion of the World Coming to an End.

One woe doth tread upon another's heel,So fast they follow.-GERTRUDE, Hamlet Hamlet, 4.7.13435 In other words: The bad news is coming on so fast and furious that each piece trips over the one in front of it.

SHAKESPEARE ON WEATHER So foul and fair a day I have not seen.

-MACBETH, Macbeth Macbeth, 1.3.36 Just as he's standing by with a pithy phrase for life's red-letter days-the weddings we love and the funerals we don't-Shakespeare's also ready with tidbits for the everyday moments that make up the majority of the days of our lives. No subject of conversation better suits those quotidian occasions-standing on line at the grocery store, whiling away the wait at the bus stop, greeting a neighbor across a picket fence-than that old standard, the weather. The Bard's a past master on the topic, as these Bardisms attest. Use each to comment on the meteorological event it describes, or as a gloss on some metaphorical version of said atmospheric condition.

IT'S THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER / IT'S THE DEAD OF WINTER As the mercury soars, bear this Bardism in mind: Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen.-FALSTAFF, Henry IV, Part II Henry IV, Part II, 3.2.90 And as the mercury plunges, remember this one: 'Tis bitter cold, / And I am sick at heart.-FRANCISCO, Hamlet Hamlet, 1.1.67 HERE COMES THE SPRINGTIME THAW Worried that winter will never end? Or that some other, more personal stretch of icy cold and early dark might never lift? Queen Margaret has some words of encouragement that will help you await the arrival of warmer days.

Cold snow melts with the sun's hot beams.-QUEEN M MARGARET, Henry VI, Part II Henry VI, Part II, 3.1.223 THAT WAS QUITE A DELUGE Here's Shakespeare on the Occasion of Touring the Storm Damage. For the more poetically inclined, it's also a Bardism about how the whips and scorns of time leave us looking a little green around the gills.

Much rain wears the marble.-GLOUCESTER, Henry VI, Part III Henry VI, Part III, 3.2.50 In other words: Rain can erode even things as durable as marble.

'TAIN'T A FIT NIGHT OUT FOR MAN NOR BEAST "This disturbed sky / Is not to walk in," advises the sage Cicero in Julius Caesar Julius Caesar when he spots Ca.s.sius running around, s.h.i.+rtless, in the middle of a storm. I've taken the Roman orator's counsel to heart on many occasions, even quoting it when urging my wife to take an umbrella with her into a cloudy Brooklyn day. Cicero's words might have benefited other Shakespearean characters had they heard them: King Lear on the heath, the sailors in the opening scene of when he spots Ca.s.sius running around, s.h.i.+rtless, in the middle of a storm. I've taken the Roman orator's counsel to heart on many occasions, even quoting it when urging my wife to take an umbrella with her into a cloudy Brooklyn day. Cicero's words might have benefited other Shakespearean characters had they heard them: King Lear on the heath, the sailors in the opening scene of The Tempest The Tempest, and the eponymous hero of one of Shakespeare's lesser-known late plays, Pericles Pericles. Here's his Bardism for a raging storm.

Yet cease your ire, you angry stars of heaven!Wind, rain, and thunder, remember earthly manIs but a substance that must yield to you,And I, as fits my nature, do obey you.-PERICLES, Pericles Pericles, 2.1.4144 In other words: Let up a little, you furious heavens! Wind, rain, and thunder, please bear in mind that man is made of weak stuff that must bow down to your force. I, as such a man, surrender to you.

Some details: Shakespeare's contemporary Ben Jonson dismissed Pericles Pericles and its plot full of coincidences and melodramatic contrivances-s.h.i.+pwrecks, storms, resurrections, reunions-as "a mouldy tale...and stale." Perhaps so, but it's fresh in one sense, at least: the play is the first of Shakespeare's late-career experiments with a form critics label tragicomedy or romance. and its plot full of coincidences and melodramatic contrivances-s.h.i.+pwrecks, storms, resurrections, reunions-as "a mouldy tale...and stale." Perhaps so, but it's fresh in one sense, at least: the play is the first of Shakespeare's late-career experiments with a form critics label tragicomedy or romance. Cymbeline Cymbeline, The Tempest The Tempest, and The Winter's Tale The Winter's Tale are also in this genre, and if they seem the more accomplished plays, that's not only because by the time he wrote them, Shakespeare had gone through the practice round of writing this one, but also because at least half of are also in this genre, and if they seem the more accomplished plays, that's not only because by the time he wrote them, Shakespeare had gone through the practice round of writing this one, but also because at least half of Pericles Pericles is believed to be by someone other than the Bard. is believed to be by someone other than the Bard.

Collaborative playwriting was not uncommon in the period, and Shakespeare shared authors.h.i.+p with others in more than one of his plays. In the case of Pericles Pericles, he chose a distinctly minor-league partner: the second-tier playwright and pamphleteer George Wilkins, about whom little is known (he once gave a deposition in a lawsuit in which Shakespeare was also a witness; he wrote a novel called The Painful Adventures of Pericles, Prince of Tyre The Painful Adventures of Pericles, Prince of Tyre, which the play follows in many places; he was a small-time pimp). Why Shakespeare would choose such an unlikely and unwholesome writing partner is one of the many things about his life and career scholars can only guess at. Some believe that Wilkins came to Shakespeare's theater company with the idea of dramatizing his Pericles Pericles novel, and that when Shakespeare found in it some themes he was already exploring at the time, he jumped on board and made the thing work. Others argue that the play we know today is Shakespeare's polish of Wilkins' own draft, or that Wilkins finished an incomplete Shakespearean original. However the play was written, Shakespeare and everyone else in his...o...b..t knew it was lesser stuff, which is why the play wasn't included in the First Folio of 1623. The mystery of its composition notwithstanding, the play has its charms-the Pericles/Marina father/daughter reunion is one of Shakespeare's best scenes-and its stageworthiness has been proven many times over the centuries. As for the woebegone George Wilkins, wherever he is today, he can enjoy the knowledge that his name endures as a footnote in the life of a genius. If that seems like cold comfort, it's at least better than disappearing entirely, which is certainly the fate of those Jacobean wh.o.r.emongers who didn't have the good fortune to co-author a play with the immortal Bard. novel, and that when Shakespeare found in it some themes he was already exploring at the time, he jumped on board and made the thing work. Others argue that the play we know today is Shakespeare's polish of Wilkins' own draft, or that Wilkins finished an incomplete Shakespearean original. However the play was written, Shakespeare and everyone else in his...o...b..t knew it was lesser stuff, which is why the play wasn't included in the First Folio of 1623. The mystery of its composition notwithstanding, the play has its charms-the Pericles/Marina father/daughter reunion is one of Shakespeare's best scenes-and its stageworthiness has been proven many times over the centuries. As for the woebegone George Wilkins, wherever he is today, he can enjoy the knowledge that his name endures as a footnote in the life of a genius. If that seems like cold comfort, it's at least better than disappearing entirely, which is certainly the fate of those Jacobean wh.o.r.emongers who didn't have the good fortune to co-author a play with the immortal Bard.

GLOBAL WARMING As thrilling as it can be to listen to Shakespeare talk about something in his experience that we recognize as identical in ours despite the centuries that have pa.s.sed-the beauty of a flower, the giddy whirl of new love-it's also delightful to hear him prophetically address a phenomenon that hadn't yet occurred in human history when he was alive. He does so in this excerpt. Greenhouse gases, rising sea levels, melting polar ice, and Al Gore are all things Shakespeare didn't, and couldn't, know about, and yet here he talks in unequivocal terms about the harmful effects of climate change. Like so many of the Bardisms in this book, this one demonstrates the uncanny way a s.h.i.+ft of context brings new and vivid meaning to a four-hundred-year-old pa.s.sage of poetic text.

The seasons alter: h.o.a.ry-headed frostsFall in the fresh lap of the crimson rose,And on old Hiems' thin and icy crownAn odorous chaplet of sweet summer budsIs, as in mock'ry, set. The spring, the summer, 5The childing autumn, angry winter changeTheir wonted liveries, and the mazed worldBy their increase now knows not which is which.-t.i.tANIA, A Midsummer Night's Dream A Midsummer Night's Dream, 2.1.10714 In other words: The seasons are changing. White-tinged frost now falls on the red rose, and the icy crown of Hiems, G.o.d of winter, now sprouts a sweet-smelling garland of summer flowers that seems to mock him. Spring, summer, abundant autumn, tempestuous winter: they're exchanging their usual appearances. And the astonished world, seeing them spin out of control, can't tell them apart.

How to use it: Wow your dinner companions by laying out this beauty of a speech when the talk turns to carbon footprints and the Kyoto Protocol. It's also great for the next news report of some climate-change-fueled megastorm, or, more simply, for a hot winter day or cold summer one. Wow your dinner companions by laying out this beauty of a speech when the talk turns to carbon footprints and the Kyoto Protocol. It's also great for the next news report of some climate-change-fueled megastorm, or, more simply, for a hot winter day or cold summer one. Some strong ant.i.theses make this speech work. The image of frost in the lap of a rose is opposed to the equally odd image of flowers set in the crown of Hiems, the G.o.d of winter. Think Some strong ant.i.theses make this speech work. The image of frost in the lap of a rose is opposed to the equally odd image of flowers set in the crown of Hiems, the G.o.d of winter. Think frosts / rose frosts / rose versus versus Hiems' crown / flowers Hiems' crown / flowers. Note also that which which versus versus which which in the final line is also an ant.i.thesis. in the final line is also an ant.i.thesis. Two verbs are crucial here. Two verbs are crucial here. Change Change at the end of line 6 needs special emphasis, and at the end of line 6 needs special emphasis, and knows not knows not gives the entire speech its kick on line 8. (And note the gong-like monosyllables with which t.i.tania drives her point home: Now. gives the entire speech its kick on line 8. (And note the gong-like monosyllables with which t.i.tania drives her point home: Now. Knows Knows. Not. Not. Which Which. Is. Which! Which!) Some details: The evocative image childing autumn childing autumn on line 6 of this rich bit of poetry is a hard one to paraphrase. on line 6 of this rich bit of poetry is a hard one to paraphrase. Childing Childing seems to be related to giving birth, and so, linked to autumn, the time of harvest, likely means something like "abundant," or "yielding a large crop." t.i.tania-well, Shakespeare-is the first person to use the word in this sense in English, according to the seems to be related to giving birth, and so, linked to autumn, the time of harvest, likely means something like "abundant," or "yielding a large crop." t.i.tania-well, Shakespeare-is the first person to use the word in this sense in English, according to the Oxford English Dictionary Oxford English Dictionary. Of course, there's every possibility that the OED OED got it wrong and that Shakespeare himself wouldn't recognize this sense of got it wrong and that Shakespeare himself wouldn't recognize this sense of childing childing. That's because there's every possibility that he actually wrote a different word. Although t.i.tania says childing childing in the first two published texts of in the first two published texts of A Midsummer Night's Dream A Midsummer Night's Dream-a 1600 quarto and the First Folio of 1623-in the Fourth Folio of 1685 she says chiding chiding, making the phrase chiding autumn chiding autumn mean, roughly, "harsh November." mean, roughly, "harsh November."*

This is just one of literally thousands of cases in which an oddball Shakespearean word changed its spelling-and therefore its meaning-between the printed versions of his works that appeared during his lifetime and after his death. Unlike writers today, who demand and receive final approval of their texts before any printing presses roll, Renaissance authors neither expected nor enjoyed such proprietary rights in their work. This was particularly true of playwrights, who wrote for performance, not publication, and who sold their plays outright-along with all artistic control of them-to the theater companies that produced them. These companies in turn sold the texts to publishers, who were in no small hurry to supply printed copies of the latest hit script to a public eager to read its favorite plays. Unfortunately, Renaissance printing technology wasn't built for speed, and to call the laborious process of book manufacturing in the period error-p.r.o.ne would be an understatement. With no author on hand to supervise, print-shop workers could-and did-introduce changes in the texts, based on their own quirks of punctuation and spelling, exigencies of format and s.p.a.ce on the page, misreadings and other mistakes, or even simple preference. When a published play text sold especially well, publishers would market subsequent print runs-which meant starting again from scratch, sometimes months or even years later, and introducing yet another set of unauthorized changes.

Thus, Shakespeare may have written childing childing in 1595, only to have the word get the in 1595, only to have the word get the l l beaten out of it by a sloppy typesetter in 1685. Or he may have written beaten out of it by a sloppy typesetter in 1685. Or he may have written chiding chiding, only to have the word gain an l l of an extra letter through a mistake in 1600 repeated by a new generation of printers when the First Folio was prepared two decades later, but then corrected sixty years after that. There's no way to know for sure because Shakespeare's ma.n.u.script of the play doesn't survive (none of his ma.n.u.scripts does, except maybe a fragment of a page of a lost play called of an extra letter through a mistake in 1600 repeated by a new generation of printers when the First Folio was prepared two decades later, but then corrected sixty years after that. There's no way to know for sure because Shakespeare's ma.n.u.script of the play doesn't survive (none of his ma.n.u.scripts does, except maybe a fragment of a page of a lost play called Sir Thomas More Sir Thomas More). So which is right, childing childing or or chiding chiding? You decide. Shakespeare's dead; he won't know what you've chosen. However, he will, I suspect, appreciate the care you're taking with his words. After all, the process by which Renaissance play texts made it into print shows that just as Shakespeare in the theater is the product of collaboration among many artists and craftspeople-director, actors, designers, technicians, crew-so Shakespeare on the page includes contributions from many people beyond the Bard himself. There's no reason why you too can't be one of his artistic partners.

CHAPTER 7

Mere Oblivion

SHAKESPEARE FOR THE OCCASIONS OF THE END OF LIFE Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

"An old man is twice a child," Rosencrantz tells Prince Hamlet, who moments earlier mocked the elderly Lord Polonius as a "great baby" who is "not yet out of his swaddling-clouts." The maxim "old men are twice children" was a commonplace in the Renaissance, but I like to think that Rosencrantz alludes not to the conventional wisdom but instead to Jaques' Seventh Age.

Of course, I can't prove that As You Like It As You Like It was on the Masterpieces of World Drama syllabus at the Danish school Rosencrantz and his sidekick Guildenstern attended. But one of the things that happens when you spend as much time with these characters as I do is that they become very real people in your imagination. And as real people, they can go and read the same plays, even Shakespeare plays, that other real people read. To my mind, Hamlet's read was on the Masterpieces of World Drama syllabus at the Danish school Rosencrantz and his sidekick Guildenstern attended. But one of the things that happens when you spend as much time with these characters as I do is that they become very real people in your imagination. And as real people, they can go and read the same plays, even Shakespeare plays, that other real people read. To my mind, Hamlet's read Richard II Richard II and and Henry V Henry V, Coriola.n.u.s knows All's Well That Ends Well All's Well That Ends Well, and Desdemona could ace an exam on Much Ado About Nothing Much Ado About Nothing. The characters may not be able to read ahead to the ends of their own plays, but I see no reason to deny them the glories of all the others. Besides, I can support this unorthodox theory on postmodern grounds: Shakespeare's company employed a small number of actors-a core group of sixteen, who played all the princ.i.p.al roles in any given play. Thus Laertes "is" Macduff "is" Hotspur, because the same fellow played all three. And Hermia "is" Celia "is" Hero for the same reason. In this sense, Rosencrantz may not literally know Jaques or have ever heard him speak, but "Rosencrantz"-in the form of the actor who played him-certainly heard "Jaques"-in the form of the actor who played him-list the Seven Ages on that great day in theater history when As You Like It As You Like It premiered. Jaques was likely played by Richard Burbage, who also played Hamlet-apparently he was especially convincing as a melancholy cynic with an ironic bent. Shakespeare's company, unlike most of today's thespians, performed a different play every day, so it was theoretically possible that Burbage-as-Jaques could tell his cast-mates about how life tends toward second childishness on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday, as Hamlet, he could listen to one of them tell him about how an old man is twice a child. Such was the funhouse mirror existence of a Shakespearean actor in the English Renaissance. premiered. Jaques was likely played by Richard Burbage, who also played Hamlet-apparently he was especially convincing as a melancholy cynic with an ironic bent. Shakespeare's company, unlike most of today's thespians, performed a different play every day, so it was theoretically possible that Burbage-as-Jaques could tell his cast-mates about how life tends toward second childishness on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday, as Hamlet, he could listen to one of them tell him about how an old man is twice a child. Such was the funhouse mirror existence of a Shakespearean actor in the English Renaissance.

My twenty-year run in the contemporary Shakespearean theater has given me the chance to watch our era's Burbages at work, and although I've seen them give performances of jaw-dropping excellence and stirring emotional truthfulness, I don't know if it's even possible for them to inhabit Shakespeare's words, to live live them, in quite the same manner Burbage and company did. For those artists-the Founders, if you will-"all the world's a stage" wasn't just a line in a speech, it was a way of life. In Shakespeare's theater, the boundary between onstage and off was permeable and the frontier line separating these realms, ever changing. Not all the sophistication of our modern theater can conjure such a reality. Our culture-scientific, rational, accountable-is ineluctably different from that of the English Renaissance, and it simply won't allow for such contingent and elusive constructs. them, in quite the same manner Burbage and company did. For those artists-the Founders, if you will-"all the world's a stage" wasn't just a line in a speech, it was a way of life. In Shakespeare's theater, the boundary between onstage and off was permeable and the frontier line separating these realms, ever changing. Not all the sophistication of our modern theater can conjure such a reality. Our culture-scientific, rational, accountable-is ineluctably different from that of the English Renaissance, and it simply won't allow for such contingent and elusive constructs.

In the English Renaissance, world and stage were two s.h.i.+fting points on a single continuum, and experts on the period show us how deeply this notion penetrated the entire worldview of Shakespeare's day. Theater historians and archaeologists argue that the very architecture of the Globe Theatre itself encoded the idea. There, the audience and the actors occupied the same s.p.a.ce, under the same open roof, lit by the same gray afternoon light of the overcast London sky. Above the theater's main entrance gate, custom holds, was a crest showing Hercules bearing the earth on his shoulders, and the Latin motto "Totus mundus agit histrionem," or "The entire world is a playhouse." This striking a.s.sertion helps make clear why Jaques' last scene of all last scene of all ends a strange, eventful ends a strange, eventful history history: the word was not merely a synonym for "story." Like s.h.i.+fts s.h.i.+fts in Jaques' Sixth Age, in Jaques' Sixth Age, history history also carried with it a theatrical undertone, because during the English Renaissance, chronicle plays-works that depicted human lives unfolding against epic tapestries of large national themes-were labeled by that generic term (as in Shakespeare's also carried with it a theatrical undertone, because during the English Renaissance, chronicle plays-works that depicted human lives unfolding against epic tapestries of large national themes-were labeled by that generic term (as in Shakespeare's The History of King Lear The History of King Lear, The History of Henry IV The History of Henry IV, and The Comical History of the Merchant of Venice The Comical History of the Merchant of Venice). "History" the recorded facts and "history" their dramatization are interchangeable. All the world's a stage, all people are actors, and all of life is a play. If that's true, then a playhouse is a stage upon a stage, an actor is a person playing the part of a person playing a part, and a drama is an artistically crafted version of a life that's already artistically crafted. The theater of the English Renaissance was a kind of Dreamland, a Coney Island fantasy palace populated by exotics and attended by people whose real life was, at least according to the sign above the theater door, as fictional as the story they were watching. When the play ended, both groups-actors and audience-simply went away, and ended, too. The players disappeared into some unseen backstage nowhere, and the audience returned to its world, which was-fasten your seatbelts-a stage!

To be sure, man's Seventh Age is not about the endless feedback loop of life and theater. Instead, it's about the end of this strange, eventful tale. The Seventh Age is death. But to Jaques-all right already, to Shakespeare-death and the end of a play are two ways of looking at the exact same phenomenon. In his last play the Bard makes the connection clear. "Our revels now are ended," The Tempest The Tempest's Prospero announces when the play he presents at the wedding party of his daughter and son-in-law concludes. "These our actors," he continues, "were all spirits and / Are melted into air, into thin air." Jaques was written nearly a dozen years earlier, and so he doesn't have Prospero's poetic precision on the subject. But what Prospero spells out is what Jaques implies in describing the last scene of all last scene of all as as mere oblivion mere oblivion. Mere Mere is Elizabethan for "utter, total, absolute." Death is in this sense a process of annihilation, or, more accurately, sublimation: the direct transformation of solid into gas, the melting of what we are, into air. Into thin air. is Elizabethan for "utter, total, absolute." Death is in this sense a process of annihilation, or, more accurately, sublimation: the direct transformation of solid into gas, the melting of what we are, into air. Into thin air.

Jaques' last line is chilling enough when read as a literal description of the final moments of life; we die toothless, blind, and incapable of discernment of any kind. But if we read his four repeats of sans sans, that series of ba.s.s notes that toll this magnificent speech to a close, as forerunners of Prospero's vision of the nothingness that follows the final curtain's fall, then sans everything sans everything leaps beyond the literal. Jaques' last word- leaps beyond the literal. Jaques' last word-ev-ry-thing-with its intimation of infinity, tells us that the Seventh Age may be a time of physical decay, but it is also, stunningly, a time of metaphysical transformation and limitless possibility.

We are are such stuff as dreams are made on. That is, our origins are the material of fictions. Life is evanescent and ephemeral, and after all its sevenfold dramas, and all the turmoil, and all the pomposity and self-importance, and all the foolishness, it ends where it beg