Living Nightmare Part 8

"Let go!" she shouted.

Joseph grabbed the man's arm and tried to pull it away, but his grip was too tight.

The skin around his hand turned bright red, searing as if she'd laid it against a hot coal. She struggled harder and another cry of pain ripped through her.

Rational thought scattered under the strain as her thoughts tried to flee the agony of his touch. She felt her mind crack and fling out pieces of itself into the world, seeking shelter.

Nika tried to control it, but she hadn't been prepared for this. She was tired from too much effort last night and not strong enough to stop this involuntary reaction.

Her body grew weaker and it became difficult to stay standing. She locked her knees, praying Joseph would force the man to release her. If she could just hold on a few more seconds . . .

She felt her body jerk as both men pulled on the other. Then, from the corner of her eye, she saw a huge fist fly past her head and slam into the jaw of the man burning her.

The man let go and stumbled backward, knocking both him and his companion over.

A wave of dizziness whirled through Nika and she grabbed for the wall to steady herself, but it was too far away.

A pair of strong hands caught her and kept her from falling, but these hands didn't hurt.

Madoc. She'd know his touch anywhere.

"What the f.u.c.k were you doing to her?" He shot the harsh question at Joseph.

Joseph looked at the angry, blistered spot on her arm, then back to the man on the floor who was bleeding from his split lip. Guilt tightened his mouth, making the lines around it deepen. "Get her out of here. I'll deal with him."

"No. I'll deal with him," said Madoc. "You take the girl."

"You're the only one who can touch her. Besides, from the look on your face, you'd just kill him."

"So?"

"So, that's not the way we do things. He lost his head. You know how it isa"how desperate the pain can make us. I'm not going to kill a man for doing something I've thought about doing way too many times for my own comfort."

A low, warning rumble rose up from Madoc's chest. "Don't you dare."

The man who'd hurt her pushed himself to his feet. Nika backed away from him, tripping on her own feet in her haste.

"Go, Madoc. Get out of here," said Joseph.

Nika regained her balance and tugged on Madoc's arm. She really didn't want to be the cause of any more bloodshed, and if she didn't get him to leave, there was definitely going to be more.

"Take me home, Madoc. I'm tired."

He looked down at her, and his blunt features relaxed. His green eyes slid to her arm and he let out a violent curse before picking her up and heading down the hall.

The part of her that needed to prove she was independent warred against the part of her that loved being close to him like this. In the end, the practical side won. She hadn't spent the last several months getting stronger only to be treated like she'd break if the wind blew too hard. "I can walk," she told him.

"Nope."

"Where are we going?"

"To see the f.u.c.king bloodsucking leech, Tynan."

Nika flinched at his harsh words, and the slight hesitation in Madoc's gait told her he'd noticed.

"He won't heal me," she said. "My blood hurts him."

"Good. Serves the b.a.s.t.a.r.d right."

"Stop, Madoc. There's no point in waking him up again today."

Madoc stopped dead in his tracks and looked down at her. He wasn't a traditionally handsome man, but the rough planes of his face drew her in and made her wish she had the nerve to stroke her fingertips over his skin.

"Again?" he asked. "You've seen him today? Are you hurt somewhere I don't know about?"

"No, I had to take the bone to him, and he was really tired when I stopped by. Let him sleep. My arm will be fine."

"Did he try to take your blood?"

"No. I just told you it hurts him."

Madoc's chest lifted with a sigh, which pressed her shoulder against hard muscles she wished he'd let her feel with her fingers. Every time she reached for him, he'd back away.

And then it struck her that he was a bit too busy holding her to back away now. She could do whatever she wanted, and he'd have to drop her to stop her.

Before she lost the opportunity, she slid her uninjured arm around his neck and nestled her nose just beneath his ear. His scent went to her head, making it spin. There was nothing flowery about him, not even the smell of soap, just the scent of his skin and the warm peace it brought her to breathe him in.

She felt his muscles clench around her, holding her tighter as he began walking againa"quicker and in the opposite direction. She didn't really care where he took her. After so many months of wis.h.i.+ng for him to come home, she was simply glad he was here, close enough to touch.

"Tynan told me he would only help me learn the truth about that bone if you gave him blood. Will you help?"

"Tynan's had plenty of my blood. Tell him to use that."

"So you won't help?"

"Sorry. He'll have to find another sucker."

Great. Now what was she going to do? Maybe Paul would help.

They came to a stop in front of the door to the suite she shared with Paul and Andra. He pounded on the door with the toe of his boot. No one came.

The light on the electronic lock turned from red to green and the door popped open.

"Knew he was watching," said Madoc under his breath.

"What?" asked Nika.

"Nicholas. He's the man behind all the security cameras. He has remote access to all the doors and let us in."

Madoc took her inside and set her on the couch. Nika tried to hold on to him, but he managed to pry her arm free and back away. "Paul? Andra? You home?"

No one answered.

"Afraid to be alone with me?" she asked.

"f.u.c.k, yes. And you would be, too, if you weren't crazy. You need to listen to your sister and keep your distance from me."

It stung that he called her crazy, but it hurt even more knowing he didn't want to be around her. "You won't hurt me. I don't know why Andra can't see that the way I do."

He ignored her comment and scrubbed a hand over his face, then looked around like he was hoping for a means of escape.

"Why do you hate me?" she asked. "Are you afraid crazy is contagious?"

He frowned at her in confused shock, like she'd sprouted horns. "I don't hate you. I've never hated you."

"You can't stand to be near me. It amounts to the same thing."

"No. It really doesn't."

"Then why? Why do you run away? Do I hurt you in some way?"

He went into the small, open kitchen, grabbed a few ice cubes, and wrapped them in a thin towel. "Here. This might help."

Nika took the towel and pressed it against the blisters, hiding the flinch of pain the pressure caused. "You didn't answer my questions."

He paced between the couch and the TV, back and forth, every movement jerky and agitated.

"Are you not even going to talk to me now?" she asked.

"d.a.m.n it, Nika, you need to stop pus.h.i.+ng. I'm doing the best I can here, trying to keep myself under control."

"What do you mean? Why do you have to control yourself?"

"You really don't get it, do you?"

Nika shook her head. Her hair was nearly dry now, but still cool against her skin. "I would if you'd explain it to me."

He kept pacing, ignoring her. Nika was sick to death of being ignored. She'd spent years being talked about rather than being talked to. She'd wasted years trying to get the people around her to listen. She refused to sit quietly while she asked perfectly reasonable questions and was ignored.

Nika stood and put herself in front of him, barring his path. "Stop pacing and answer me. Why do you keep avoiding me?"

His mouth tightened like he was trying not to say anything, but in the end, the words won. "I avoid you because I want things from you that you can't give me. Because when I'm with you, I forget why I shouldn't just take them."

"What things? You've never asked me for anything."

"And I never will. It's just not right."

"What's not right?"

His jaw bunched and he looked away, deliberately ignoring her.

Something snapped inside Nika and let free a wave of anger so strong, it nearly made her sway with the force of it. She grabbed the front of his knit s.h.i.+rt, shoved her fist into his hard chest, and yelled, "I won't let you ignore me. I won't let you treat me like I'm not here. I matter, d.a.m.n it. I may be crazy, but I matter."

He blinked in shock at her outrage. "Of course you matter. What the h.e.l.l made you think you don't? You're one of the most important people on the face of the f.u.c.king planet. I'd do anything for you."

That last part doused her anger, stopping it cold. "You think I'm important?"

"Why the h.e.l.l do you think I try so hard to stay away? There's some man out there somewhere who is going to find you and give you a kind of power you can only dream abouta"he's going to give you the power to take back what the Synestryn have stolen from you. I can't be the person who gets in the way of that, and if you don't get away from me, you're going to die before you can find him."

"What if you're that man? You're the only Theronai who I can stand to touch me. When you're around, I feel like myselfa"sane and safe. No one else makes me feel that way. Why can't it be you?"

Madoc's eyes closed in regret. She saw his throat move as if he was having trouble swallowing. He held out his hand, showing her the luminescent ring he wore. Gently, he wrapped his fingers around the fist she had tight around his s.h.i.+rt. The other ringa"the cold black onea"irritated her skin, but she ignored it.

"See?" he asked.

Nika looked at the ring. It was pale, almost white, and the few strands of color within it moved so slowly she had to stare hard to tell they were moving at all. "What am I looking for?"

"A change. Color. A feeling. Something. Anything. I've been looking for it since the day I met you and haven't seen a thing."

"So?"

"So, that means we're not compatible. I can't help you."

"Are you sure?"

He gave her a solemn nod.

She didn't want to believe him. She didn't want to imagine her life with another mana"any man. She wanted Madoc.

"Maybe Gilda or one of the Sanguinar can fix it."

"There's nothing to be fixed. It's just the way things are. You have to accept it and move on."

"That's what Andra said about Tori. Sometimes, the way things look is not real. If I accepted that Tori was dead, then I'd be giving up on her, dooming her to die alone in the dark."

"Sometimes that's the way things are."

Nika shook her head. "Not with me, they aren't. I'm not giving up on Tori, and I'm not giving up on you."

"If you don't, I'm going to hurt you. I don't want to, but I will."

Nika shrugged. "Then I get hurt. It won't be the first time."

"And that is why I can't stay here. I can't stick around and make it easy for you to destroy yourself."

"If you leave again, I'll follow you. There's something wrong with you. I can see it. Something dark is growing inside you. Hurting you. You need me to protect you from it."

Madoc's green eyes widened and he took a long step back, wrenching her hand from his s.h.i.+rt."You don't know what you're talking about. You don't see anything."