I Wanna Be An Online Celebrity - BestLightNovel.com
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The boss sent me a get well gift, told me to persevere with exercising, to not be lazy, and to make sure to use it every day. I opened it.
f.u.c.k! At that moment, I couldn't help but swear out loud!
It was actually a ma.s.sage rod ah ah ah ah ah!!!
I felt like my dog eyes were blinded, it really was a ma.s.sage rod ah, the G.o.dly tool that often appeared in AVs. When I picked it up, there was this mystical feeling of pulling out the Sword in the Stone*.
I am the king of the world!!!
*Sword in the Stone, aka Excalibur
oops, wrong one. This one!
The ma.s.sager is used to stretch the a.n.u.s……
No, not for what you guys are thinking.
It's because the newly healed wound needs to be stretched or else it will grow smaller and smaller; it will be troublesome if p.o.o.p can't be pushed out later, and I'll need to suffer again.
It’s basically physio for the sphincter I guess.
Why are there people who want to have hemorrhoid surgery for the sake of having a tighter a.n.u.s?? What part of this side effect do people find attractive??
f.u.c.kf.u.c.kf.u.c.kf.u.c.kf.u.c.k don't fill me in on the gay circle knowledge, I don't want to know!!
Someone actually private messaged me a webcam link!! Who wants to see two men oh Baby oh f.u.c.k me ah*! f.u.c.king burned my eyes! I'm going to be blind!! My greatest love is Akiho Yos.h.i.+zawa** alright?!
*This was in english
**j.a.panese AV actress
I can't look straight at the boss anymore……
Scrolling through the post from the beginning, I just realized that the two of us really seem very gay……
If this was a gv, we would already have children by now*……
*I'm a.s.suming this means they would have been together long enough for normal couples to have children?
The pain of physio is as if an XL body tried to squeeze into an XS T-s.h.i.+rt.
The boss really looks after me, should I maybe take him out for lunch?
But I don't know what he likes to eat, in that case, should I just buy a present?
I happen to have a 2tb memory disk that I have treasured for a long time, filled with videos that "all men understand".
It was a joke!
I wouldn't gift it!!
This is a precious treasure that needs to be pa.s.sed down from generation to generation!
Speaking of this, you guys might not believe it……
I was thirsty after work yesterday, bought myself a drink at the 7-Eleven*, and actually won a prize……
d.a.m.n, how am I so amazing! I won a luxurious 5 day trip to Thailand for two!
Sudden fortune fell from the sky! The gift has been decided now~
*A j.a.panese-owned American international chain of convenience stores
Just in time for the November long holiday, I've already spoken to the boss about it, he said that he would make time to go to Thailand with me.
The time to witness the grand friends.h.i.+p between men has arrived!
I will prove our innocence for you guys to see.
After all, Thailand is the holy land for heh heh heh!
Oh!! Thailand!! Sawadee ka*!! Wonderful nightlife, here I come!!!
*Thai greeting. More information :
I hate hemorrhoids!!
I hate hemorrhoid surgery!!
I hate physio!!!
Today was the flight, met with the boss at the airport. I just had a backpack while the boss brought a huge check-in suitcase, was it necessary to bring so much stuff on a trip to Thailand?
No, this wasn't the main point! The main point was that, during customs, the phones, portable chargers, and such electronics with lithium batteries needed to be taken out, right? And then I cursed; f.u.c.k, I forgot that I still had a "Sword in Stone" that couldn't be seen by people ahahahahah!! I dug out the G.o.dd.a.m.n ma.s.sage rod from my backpack in front of both the customs officer and my boss!!!
Ma.s.sage rod ahahah!!
A ma.s.sage rod encased in a plastic bag!!!
*草泥马 – Gra.s.s mud horse (alpaca) to avoid censors.h.i.+p of swears.
Already no longer have the face to stay in the airport……
From now on, I will be the "queer man who keeps a ma.s.sage rod on his person" that the airport staff will gossip about over tea……
One spread to ten, ten spread to hundred……
Just thinking about it makes me despair……
At that time, the customs officer's expression was still quite composed, but I felt so awkward, so awkward that I started sweating. During times like this, any explanation would seem pale and powerless.
And then, the Boss opened his G.o.dly mouth: He just had a hemorrhoids operation, this is for muscle stretching.
Aiyo, f.u.c.k, thank you for you help ha! I really feel so much better!
*呵呵 – Sarcastic laughter, spoken flatly.
Finally got off the plane!
Mood is good again!
The ocean! Beautiful women! Here I come!
Romance! Romance! Wait for me~~
It's actually a King room……
Why give two men a King room?
Does the front desk have some sort of misunderstanding towards us?
From head to toe, I'm as straight as a telephone pole! Where did the misunderstanding come from?
Went to change the room and they said that there aren't other rooms available! WTF?
Going to the Walking Street* tonight! Babybabybabyoh~**
My treasured sword can't wait to unsheath!!
*风月街 – Some red light district, not sure which one so I just picked one?
**This was in English, from a certain relative of the beaver o.o
What the heck……
The Boss said that he would take me to a very popular, very high cla.s.s night club, the kind with strip teasing, I believed him, happily and excitedly followed him there. The result was, the nightclub he took me to……The dancer in heels was a full head taller than me……I'm 184 ah!
Why the f.u.c.k did he take me to a ladyboy nightclub ah!
Drinking is better than looking at strip teasers.
Drinking is better than touching hands.
Drinking is better than looking at big chests.
Alcohol is mankind's good friend.
Is the boss gay?
f.u.c.k, you cheap killjoys!! It's all you guys' fault!
Drank too much yesterday!! Woke up this morning to find boss and I were sleeping under the same comforter, completely naked! And four limbs were entangled ahah!!
I'm going to die!! My innocence!! My gooseb.u.mps!
The worst part is, my b.u.t.thole really hurts ahahahah!
I don't want to be gay!
I absolutely refuse to accept this kind of future!
I’m really not a s.a.d.i.s.t! I feel bad for the mc but I also want to laugh because he really is unlucky o.o Also, each part ends when one would think he was already pretty unlucky, and the next part starts right before it gets even worse XD