Dream Star 611 I Was Afraid

"I understand it was primarily my fault for not understanding what you were going through. And I won't make excuses. You were right. I neglected you then. However, if there was a problem, Rikka. Why didn't you talk to me? I know I'm very clumsy with words and everything. I know I'm not good at expressing what I'm thinking. But if you had a problem. I would have listened to you."

She knows that very well. Of course, she did. Even if Haruka started acting strange and neglecting her, Rikka knew if she honestly spoke to him, he would have listened to her. "I was afraid that you'd choose her over me."

A deep sigh escaped Haruka's lips. "I'm not that unreasonable. Yes, I love Lila a lot, even when we dated. I still liked her. However, I was falling for you, Rikka. I was getting there."

She knew that too.

Yet, when Rikka saw those photos - all logic flew out of the window. She felt confused, hurt, and betrayed at the same time. "I..." but her sentence fell short when Harukas's phone beeped. Rikka glanced over at the screen.

(incoming call: Lovely wife)

"Haruka speaking."

"Ah, hubby. Where are you? I'm getting cold."

"I'm just dropping Rikka of home. There's a slight traffic since it's snowing."

"Okay! Um, then should I wait inside?"

"Mmm, please do. I reserved a nice place, so you can wait around."

"I love you."

So, Haruka smiles fondly like that even just talking to

Back then, he hated such public displays of affection. He hated acting like a sweet couple, saying the words, 'I love you.'

"I love you to wife. So, hurry inside and bundle up. I don't want you to get sick. Bad girls won't get their present."

"Present?! What did you get me!"

Haruka chuckled, "That's a surprise. Go inside."

"Okay, I will wait. Rikksan, merry Christmas!"

The camera wasn't facing her, so it seemed awkward for Lila to greet her. However, Rikka nodded and exchanged greetings.

Haruka gently carried her out of the car. "I can walk."

"Don't be stubborn," he mumbled and brought her up the steps.

Eventually, they arrived at the place. The 70th floor. It always bothered her, since she couldn't use the stairs and climb. When she is rus.h.i.+ng, waiting for the lift isn't ideal. Haruka flickered the lights open and walked across the room until they arrived at the bedroom. He placed her down on the bed and tucked her in.

"Get some rest, Rikka; you've had a long day."

"Are you leaving?"

"I'll make you something to eat, give you medicine, and then I'll go."

He's so attentive; she's never seen this side of him before. This person has changed a great deal. Why? Because he's dating Teras.h.i.+ma Lila now? Dating..hah. He's married, Teras.h.i.+ma Lila is his wife, not his girlfriend. As Rikka contemplated on this, Haruka left to go to the kitchen.

Wife…

That means he will spend his life with her. Even though they lived together before, she was only his girlfriend. Haruka went to such great lengths to convince her father for permission. But, did Haruka ever ask him for her hand in marriage? He didn't. If he were serious, he would have done that.

Rikka only just closed her eyes when Haruka returned. She immediately sat up when she smelled a lovely aroma. In front of her were various dishes. Miso soup and rice, some rice b.a.l.l.s, and tempura. Her eyes widened when she saw the dishes.

"Since when could you cook?" Rikka asked curiously.

"Since forever. Is it nice?"

As he said that, Rikka picked up her chopsticks and dug into the tempura.

"It's good."

He could cook before? How come she didn't know that. How come she didn't know? Why is she even asking that question? Back then, the two of them were dating. Yet, there were many things she didn't know about him. "I didn't know you had depression, or that you tried to kill yourself," she muttered.

Haruka smiled bitterly, "Didn't I tell you on the day we argued?"

Rikka paused and thought back to what she told him that day. She said something heartless.

…

The year 2035 January

Rikka just received word from the police that Haruka was in the police station. They didn't say arrested, and that he was on his way back. However, Rikka was pacing back and forth. What is this? What's wrong with him? Didn't he just return from Star town? Didn't he go see Teras.h.i.+ma Lila and have s.e.x with her? What happened? As these numerous questions ran through her mind, she didn't notice Haruka entering the room. Until she felt somebody lightly embrace her.

She froze and turned around, but Haruka was already walking over to the bedroom. Rikka immediately chased after him, "Explain to me what happened."

Haruka extended his hand out and took out his phone.

Her eyes widened when she saw the video playing. Two people were making out and tearing each other's clothes. Rikka watched the video from start to the end. 'That guy took a video?!!' She thought it was strange, but even then, she dismissed it. How careless of her.

"Didn't you want to know you cheated? Why are you so surprised."

"Wait," Rikka placed her hand on her forehead. "You don't understand."

Why does this sound like her fault?

"I don't, huh? Then tell me why my girl was s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g around with other men?"

His girl? She suddenly became his girl? Haha, she wants to laugh. "You only just noticed you haven't been paying attention to me. But, before I get into that. Where were you? You came back a week ago, and yet you didn't call me once. Were you fooling around? I guess s.e.x with her wasn't good enough for you," Rikka sn.i.g.g.e.red.

"What the h.e.l.l are you on about? s.e.x with who?"

"Your darling Teras.h.i.+ma Lila. Your first love. You know the girl's photo who is on your wallpaper."

"What are you talking about now? Dammn, I didn't even touch her," Haruka muttered.

"Look me in the eye and said nothing happened between you two!" Rikka demanded.

Haruka, however, looked down, Rikka's glare intensified. So, he did it with her? She wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Why? Why did he do this to her?

"Listen," Haruka mumbled. "I've had a lot going on. I tried to kill myself a week back, and I was stuck in hospital… I know that's not an excuse. But my emotions are a mess."

"So? Do you expect me to accommodate all your problems?"

Rikka realized a second too late what she said. 'What is she saying?' Is she that jealous? Her thoughts broke off when Haruka edged closer to her. His strong arms wrapped around her. "Rikka, ssh. Don't cry."

"Idiot, let me go. Let me go."

"I don't want to." Haruka pushed her against the wall. His lips pried hers open in seconds, and their tongues tangled against one another — a battle of dominance. Rikka painted heavily when he drew back.

She wanted to stop him, to tell him no and that she was done with him. Yet, when she looked up and saw the pained look in his eyes. Rikka reached over and wrapped her arms around his neck. 'This is so hopeless and so stupid…' But what if this is the last time? She wants to imprint this moment in her head forever.

"I love you," Rikka muttered. She did not hear his reply since he tore away the last of her clothes and got to work. This may really be the last time.

….

Present

After that night, they argued again in the morning. That final argument was the last time she properly saw him. Then again, she was the one who packed her things up and left. So many regrets, and for what? Sophia set them up. But she couldn't see it at that time. Usually, Rikka could see through her cousin's schemes. Yet at that time she didn't realize anything was strange. It was apparent, and yet she didn't notice.